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Cress dad - Author - International Marathon Runner - Average Radio Presenter - Occasional Actor

705 Following   824 Followers   46,330 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/27/09


@bechillcomedian Mine are Terry and Lander halls in the University of Washington.
5/28
2020
I want an app that tells us where *he* is. https://t.co/tr7eL4d3cu😢 https://t.co/fFkpwLYQ5YI always preferred Blink 181. #OldGuyTweet
5/27
2020
https://t.co/uKmdlUAM3Q
Retweeted by Terry LanderMissing our family in Wales, we haven't been up for around two years 🙁 @thecurlz https://t.co/GiYhrqsZzhThis *is* a real Tweet. Bring back Theresa May! https://t.co/zaOUVNUlhJBREAKING NEWS: The president of the Royal Nominative Determinism Society, Dr Alan Diesinthistweet, has died.
Retweeted by Terry LanderGovernment advice is that sod it, we tried but we've given up, everyone back to work. Good effort everyone though,… https://t.co/Ih6QlVu9tSThis has made my day/month! 😍 https://t.co/Ctkw80S8U0
Retweeted by Terry Lander @muckypup Noooooooooo!I got a rock!!!! That is AWESOME! https://t.co/M7BdHegCFf
Retweeted by Terry LanderI feel I should add this Harry Potter set to this thread by @jk_rowling but I don't want to hide it in the library,… https://t.co/EIPCCJ1cUl
Retweeted by Terry LanderTwo years ago I did this thing where I painted children's book covers on rocks, and hid them in my local library. I… https://t.co/uyEH1EV1ed
Retweeted by Terry LanderIf I got in the car to test my eyesight, I'd be arrested. If I visited relatives during lockdown, I'd be fined. If… https://t.co/5DqfQYUHGs @MooseAllain Well saidI’ve noticed a tendency for Cumpologists to say "come on, we’ve all broken the rules". NO WE HAVE NOT. Many of us h… https://t.co/kcfOujJLuU
Retweeted by Terry LanderThis will be RAMPANT throughout the country. https://t.co/DQe2sGZZYx
5/26
2020
View the finalist videos here. https://t.co/h3Tdzjz3ry Please be amazing and donate. https://t.co/bIYDYJxfNI
Retweeted by Terry Lander @MgniM Surely you'll know first? I'm not waiting, there are too many stupendous entries for me to worry about that 😀Cummings Summary. https://t.co/mlzNbKqkL6Straw poll. Does anybody believe Cummings?
Retweeted by Terry Lander @tew1984 I find it hard to put things across as a writer. I guess he's the same. Bumble, bumble, try not to tell th… https://t.co/p5SyCYpDLq @jamesgfarrell They see it as an admission of guilt.Are you still watching "I've done nothing wrong, I won't be resigning"? He's wasted an hour of your life! #Cummings @C_Littlebug Not safe to drive, obvs. @C_Littlebug Nope. He said he acted reasonably. Seems fair 😳Dominic Cummings is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.
Retweeted by Terry LanderWe're planning to stay home and save lives. https://t.co/k01KMycyhkThe final (I hope) #cress2020 video is now live. https://t.co/Tn29qT82vq
Retweeted by Terry LanderPranking the researchers (for @newscientist ) #science #microbiology #research https://t.co/7Dq88j2CyQ
Retweeted by Terry Lander @CW_182 "Mr Tumble in intensive care"I'm sure the affable scamp will charm us all. https://t.co/0w6kmAUsfa
Retweeted by Terry LanderIt's been a bit of @Cress2020 fun, please do donate if you can: https://t.co/1DZFV3E1Hu https://t.co/ByoSWNupuI
Retweeted by Terry Lander
5/25
2020
Nice to have the worst father ever tell us what a good father would do.
Retweeted by Terry LanderRepeating Cummings acted ‘legally’ is deliberate misdirection. Covid guidelines are government advice. You can be f… https://t.co/1uyjQLSJpo
Retweeted by Terry LanderJurassic Park, but nobody can pronounce it. I know this is off topic right now.I can see you're all very upset, so let me help you out - go and make a cup of tea, coffee if you like, maybe a hot… https://t.co/qmS2VuWhJ1
Retweeted by Terry LanderPlease join me and add your name to the petition asking @RishiSunak to extend the selfemployed income support schem… https://t.co/r0O0LL6PI8
Retweeted by Terry LanderDid you vote? It’s easy and I’d love your support x #podernfamily https://t.co/0hlAAgM6Bl
Retweeted by Terry LanderMy piece about the brilliant Victoria Wood today in Sunday Express @Daily_Express (and yes, the coat I wore as Bab… https://t.co/A8guuQGJlt
Retweeted by Terry LanderPorridge, banana, blackberries, strawberry jam... How do you eat yours? Has it really come to these questions?… https://t.co/6AfhwIK6s0
Retweeted by Terry LanderAlmost halfway! #EverestChallenge https://t.co/V3sN6YzZEu
5/24
2020
It's almost funny. Satire in a world that is self-satirising."Er, do what you want. Try not to die" https://t.co/JttK7kgYoqToday's bullshit from Tory MPs reminds me of a quote from The Great Gatsby that Howard Zinn was keen on - " they w… https://t.co/AiDwn7OrLH
Retweeted by Terry LanderIt’s easy to criticise the government but you have to admit they are excellent role models for useless, feckless, l… https://t.co/6rM0LEaowH
Retweeted by Terry LanderBy the way, Dominic Cummings turned up at mine last Thursday wanting to play Playstation. (I live in Newcastle).
Retweeted by Terry Lander @junrussell And yet, when hideous breaches of emergency UK law are made, they're swept under the carpet. Democracy, eh?"We can't trust them with public funds, unlike those who are well behind a big train set that cuts 20 minutes off a… https://t.co/hL9IEEpJ4gThe reason we'll have a Tory government for the next fifty years? That fucking joke, Liam Byrne's message to his su… https://t.co/6CwjrjTCAM @craiguito Rolling Stones, Paint It BlackIf he doesn’t go, every time he appears in public everyone will do the Pink Panther theme #durhamdurham #durhamdurham
Retweeted by Terry LanderDon’t break the rules. If you do, it won’t just impact you. #StayHomeSaveLives https://t.co/P0BBoJAk0y
Retweeted by Terry LanderHa ha ha! Good news! I'm drunk enough to forget how immoral the government is 🤪 rotflmao! https://t.co/857ldiiWoO @tew1984 That's because the left wants peace and equality. You can't spend that! @tew1984 Incredible how little it takes. Brexit will be huge when it's complete, in my opinion to the detriment of… https://t.co/HcjhWxsf0dThe secret to all good comedy is timing. https://t.co/lJlKMaqeoQ
Retweeted by Terry Lander @TonyCowards I've always found you to be...good at words.My Niece has a Developmental Disability, she’s 22 but thinks like an 8 year old. She painted this today. Love ❤️… https://t.co/hkPclCwVpg
Retweeted by Terry LanderI'm 84. I've been in active politics since 1950. I've seen a lot - but I've never seen a government so corrupt and… https://t.co/dCFdj89ruQ
Retweeted by Terry Lander @tew1984 At least it joins the dots. It made me think 'ah, that's how they pulled it off'.I quite often think 'Wow, Twitter really knows what's going on' and then turn on the news to 'Oh, another shitshow' https://t.co/RlZxRUQDQn*Out of beer klaxon* Hoping Dom Cum can grab us some using his new superpower of being allowed out of the fucking houseGood governments are like good referees - you shouldn't notice them. A lot of people will be sick to death of the T… https://t.co/YXr36Ka8A1
Retweeted by Terry LanderStill relevant, even though it's almost not mental health week. https://t.co/qYePi6FMpA @DHBJones @christinamartin Cake, each meal, every dayNot actually a lockdown then! https://t.co/0GNkqcS61MIf only he had enough money for transport for them to get there 😥 https://t.co/cuB90ksbtr @Mish_in_London Same here. Imagine the next one, with VR and AI and excellent cress 😳"I'm cumming out I want the world to know Got to let it show I'm cumming out I want the world to know I got to let… https://t.co/WKf5T7bEci @Doctor_Monah I have enough to try both of these 😀I've now formally submitted my entry for @cress2020. So far @Biltawulf has raised an astonishing £6,400 but I know… https://t.co/uzUk9pSOC0
Retweeted by Terry Lander @Doctor_Monah Any other recipes for cress? We have the same one..!I'm hoping for best #Cress2020 journal if nothing else. Cress was loads of fun this year, right up until the other… https://t.co/N1sLBIuUrPAnyone know how to get cress + roots out of wool? 😳 #Cress2020 @balconyshirts Is there any other kind?LBC doing call-ins as to whether Cummings has done anything wrong, whilst every 15 minutes playing out Goverment an… https://t.co/GUuDGpRfjp
Retweeted by Terry Lander
5/23
2020
@wilkssean @Biltawulf AwwwwwwwwwwwI think he may have done that before! Strangely pleasing to watch. https://t.co/5F4IbFB0ND
Retweeted by Terry LanderCummings. Two days, still there, we're all complaining about something else. Betcha. @barneyfarmer R.I.M. @matthew0connor @MJowen174 I would vote for her hips over this shower of shite @MJowen174 Shakira, ShakiraI reckon...nobody in government gives a flying fuck about our problems. This, and more theories, over the course of the weekend.Classic government! It's the sitcom we didn't ask for but fund daily. https://t.co/JjrExbaw9l @thecurlz Raising a glass to y'all, missed friends and fambly 🍷I've bought us a bottle of port each. Turns out we normally share one 😀🙃Dominic Cummings is happy to lie to you. Do not forget this. https://t.co/PwJp3fIID7
Retweeted by Terry Lander @Mish_in_London Supposed to be... @Mish_in_London I'm having cheese and Ryvita 😇I'm not looking forward to hydroxychloroquine killing Trump after his own bad advice and then his body being driven… https://t.co/Lr9bJcZQcPHey boy, are you Britain’s lockdown messaging because you’re confusing me and at the same time making it seem like it’s my fault.
Retweeted by Terry LanderOh no! First most of the shops have to close and now retail sales have crashed! The separate pieces of bad news jus… https://t.co/WLGBizlVs5
Retweeted by Terry LanderJoin me tonight on @YourCoastFM 96.5/97.2fm +www +app for some serious bizniz in the form of BRAND NEW #drumandbasshttps://t.co/g38WSIoShy
Retweeted by Terry LanderDo you need a few sound bytes for something? A voice for an ad? Get in touch! Voice casting age teen, 20's, 30's. https://t.co/XnFXFXb8V4
Retweeted by Terry LanderThank you @taylertoons for my awesome books. Half term will be slightly more manageable with these gems https://t.co/MIuEU7FYuS
Retweeted by Terry LanderEven a stopped clock is right twice a day. https://t.co/Qo5DKjLmaA
Retweeted by Terry Lander @operacat @captainward 'Recipe?' was my first thoughtFor me @drphilhammond has been terrifically balanced and clear throughout this entire thing. There's loads more so:… https://t.co/raucPWIbrL
Retweeted by Terry Lander
5/22
2020

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