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lazercats @lzzcat On a boat

IG: lzcata. whomp whomp whoooomp. not a robot, not a dude, I am attractive.

328 Following   823 Followers   38,323 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/14/09

@kernieflakes Only you could haha 😂I viciously hate every single hashtag on this list @wyinjody Yeah my waxing lady wanted to be 100% certain I wasn’t gonna give her Covid so she scheduled me a month outI had to reschedule my eyebrow appointment because my boyfriend and I were exposed to covid a month ago, and my FAT… @bivocado Yeah it’s new and like I had four cashiers trying to fight over taking me cause there was nobody there this morning @bivocado If you feel like going a little farther out the Central Park sprouts has been empty every time I’ve gone hahaHoooodie weather. @sweeteag Omg love it. This is mine two of my favorite games combined into one....YES. @sweeteag It’s the best. @Greeblehaus @decadent_hag @bucknam I love this so so much @nycsouthpaw @JoanieGentian Women who carry water for the patriarchy just so they can have a slightly longer leash…
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Ordered a bunch of frames from @MichaelsStores, got one of the 12 I ordered and there were sugar packets in the box!?? So weirdMarveling at the audacity of a textbook that I paid $100+ for having multiple typos in it.I bought a blanket with a baby yoda head attached to it, FaceTimed my whole family wearing it and laughing so hard… @TheeAnnaMaria Yeah Kim was with me and she made sure I was good!! :)Thought you’d never ask.
Retweeted by lazercatsHad a hypoglycemia attack in the middle of Cost Plus World Market so I just threw a bunch of snacks and candy in my… fact that my aunt has a trans grandson and is still voting for trump blows my fucking mind every time I think about itFred Perry does not support and is in no way affiliated with the Proud Boys. Read our statement here.
Retweeted by lazercats @ProfessorPeyton Wow me too. And a lot of skincare + probiotics. I have to just click to find out what the stuff th… @TheeAnnaMaria half the time I don’t even know what the shit Instagram is advertising to me isI wish every day was my birthday so I'd be dead by now
Retweeted by lazercats @kernieflakes I still have nightmares about this episode as a full grown woman tbh
please can we just have health care
Retweeted by lazercats$lzcata plllllssssss @Denver_dan @annajeanette I know who *my favorite* is hahah @annajeanette @Denver_dan This is the accurate takeI would like to thank my massage therapist for absolutely ruining me about once or twice a month for the last four… @supsaruhhh @_autish Yeah. Fontina is a super mild cheese that super buttery and nutty so the nutmeg/allspice just… @supsaruhhh @_autish I don’t think it would be if they changed the cheese they use. With the regular Kraft cheese y…> lets keep staging as close to prod as we can me:
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Ok I think I’m officially maybe burned outHi! I just signed up for @kernieflakes Patreon, you should too 💕 @Deeebluhd Rude @sothenscottsaid Also that’s...not a very good anarchy sign @sothenscottsaid Nobody likes Biden this muchThe most productive thing I’ve done during covid is perfect my Detroit pizza recipe
If you say people can't vote until their debts are paid and then object to their debts being paid, you confirm that…
Retweeted by lazercatsI would really like to see all the product research that went into making Zombie Skittles. I really want to know ho…’d much rather be “too sensitive” than whatever the fuck has happened to half of humanity.
Retweeted by lazercats @CocoDavies @Denver_dan The 30,000 to 113,000 woman’s story is here... @supsaruhhh You got this! @Denver_dan Yeah mine was January 31st and it was after three solid workshop days in California for work. :/ so I feel yaI’m taking my first non-weekend, non-company holiday day off in nine months in a couple of weeks and I am very excited.Well the new most annoying thing on conference calls is someone’s smoke alarm battery notification going off every…, he’s not wrong, there may be too many Baby Yodas at this pointUh hello my boyfriend just accused *me*, of all people, of ***hiding*** a giant The Child @OriginalFunko Pop from h…
My coworker just sent this meme to me, with his edits. discussions with @TheeAnnaMaria about @NiallOfficial’s heartbreak weather being complete underappreciated ha… I’m an empath bc I’ve had feelings before
Retweeted by lazercats @JinDenver I mean I would get the blue aluminum, if it was me @JinDenver Just get it @JinDenver I have the 5 and had the 3 previously. I know you said talk you out of it but I don’t think upgrading ev… @JinDenver Which one do you have now @kidastronavt @celinedion YES I DO @kidastronavt @celinedion She is seriously one of my favorite celebrities
It’s not gonna make it til HalloweenWhy do I always buy enormous bags of my favorite candy in September and claim it’s for Halloweenyou called me a dumdum and she called me an idiot
Retweeted by lazercatsMy photography/IB art teacher, everyone either loved her or hated her. By my senior year, 3/4 of my classes were wi…🎵🎶I’m doing good, I’m on some new shit 🎶🎵 @Denver_dan This has already made my day so much betterAnybody that doesn’t think Zendaya deserves that Emmy 150x over obviously never saw this scene upset is the Nuggets overcoming 3-1 deficits twice. This is Michael Jordan beating the Hornets.
Retweeted by lazercatsZendaya appreciation tweet 🏆
Retweeted by lazercatsAlso thanks @chanceftw and @annajeanette for encouraging my lifestyle choices at 8am on a Monday morningAm I lying in bed with a wicked tension headache from having literal jaw-clenching nightmares considering purchasin… an overall great night for eyebrows tho, tbhHow did this show never win a single Emmy when it is probably the best show ever made
@Denver_dan Considering it, not sure how to implement itI have thirteen different kinds of cheese in my refrigerator.Stayed up late reading for the first time in forever and basically read Where the Crawdads Sing in one fell swoop o… @tcabeen @annajeanette Just trying to maximize the number of times I get the hear the song hahaseeing anti-abortion people lose their minds over unpregnant is so pleasing to me
Retweeted by lazercatsFinally got a smart thermostat and I don’t understand why they integrated Spotify into it, if they can’t, as… of wild to watch a movie talk so frankly and unapologetically about abortion tbhDamn Unpregnant is a super good movie
I’m Spider-Man and @ReubenSangwich is Daredevil't wait to see how he backtracks on this.
Retweeted by lazercatsEvery single woman in our row was in tears of laughter, just completely loving this man’s admiration and discovery… would, not infrequently, and extremely loudly, comment “WOW!!!” And “did you know she did that?? That’s amazing!… you’ve been to an Alamo, you’ll know that they’re pretty strict and *not shy* about kicking people out for talki… One of my favorite memories was going to go see On the Basis of Sex (the RBG movie) with @beatrice21 at… @TheeAnnaMaria My mom’s crying. She almost never cries.This is one of those very intense and silent internal meltdown moments for me tbh
“The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court Justice. Therefore, this vaca…
Retweeted by lazercatsRIP Ruth Bader Ginsburg.. i hate this year
Retweeted by lazercats @annajeanette @sweeteag I like them soooo much better than my regular hair ties haha @sweeteag These are the best things ever thank youThe fact that they just opened up an Illegal Pete’s a mile away from my house has basically ensured that I’ve spent… @nerdwithus @Google @Apple I guess we’ll see...or we won’t. Oracle might push through a deal at the last minute. @nerdwithus I just read that they’re just removing it from app stores so you could possibly use the current version… @Deeebluhd That’s the point! Then we’d read like the actual Wikipedia plot summary or whatever and laugh at how bad our memories areIf I had a podcast, it would be called “accelerated Readers” and would just be people trying to recall the plots of…
A Selection of the 30 Most Disappointing Under 30 | The New Yorker problem is that I really need a grocery store that only displays healthy food, but like, if I ask desperately en…