Sign in with Twitter


melting into nothing she/her

495 Following   273 Followers   18,316 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/31/12

trader joes should do an event where u pay $25 to sleep over + u can eat as much food as u want
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚This is one of my favorite Red Sox stories. The Yankees equipment people stole Derek Loweโ€™s cleats before Game 7 inโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚This Is Just To Say I have not responded to your email that was in my inbox and which was probably pretty tiโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Isn't it just a little bit satisfying that the mass of the Sun is M~10^30 kg, while the mass of an electron is m~10โ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚ @WhackNicholson my educationi just realized that election day is only two weeks away so literally how awful everything is about to shift into maximum overdrive
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚This is how men need to be on Zoom from now on
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚in a coaching job interview: if it were me i would simply score more points
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚i think the three people that will enjoy this, i already texted it toit is not the jest that is infinite, it is the infinite jestโ€™s monsterI made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and coโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Me @ every admin:
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Pick your poison
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚I just want to say thank you to all the hotshot lawyers who spent years drafting DOJ Office of Legal Counsel opinioโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚
@yungdresscode wait i meant 23:20 thatโ€™s ones way better @yungdresscode ezekiel 23:12remember that bad takes are lucrative, and so is reacting to bad takes. both gets way more engagement than anythingโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚โ€œSorry, Iโ€™ve been totally swamped latelyโ€ where โ€œlatelyโ€ is the past five years
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Iโ€™ve decided to be the hottest person on the planet again
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚All Iโ€™m saying is
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Man Hasnโ€™t Heard Or Read Single True Thing In 6 Years
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚As someone who has had purple hair and also has a dm box I really must stop this lie in its tracks
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚forgot what I was supposed to be worrying about does anybody remember
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet. Your parents in 2016: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚I thought a sycophant was an unwell pachyderm.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚"bill gates wants to microchip me" u are not interesting enough to be microchipped paul no one cares that u go to bโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Almost the whole country is in the "Uncontrolled Spread" category 1/
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Trump: Biden will "listen to the scientists" if elected
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚This is galaxy brain shit.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚For the 3rd time in 4 years, the @Dodgers are NL Champs! #CLINCHED
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚A good meme. I think it's funny
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚ @DShadowgazer hm donโ€™t like thatโ€™s top infectious disease expert requires security detail because of death threats
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚I have found my new favorite account. He is EATING the girlies UP!!!!!
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚ @andya_217 dodgers are going to lose this game arenโ€™t they MAN @JacieNicholson well thatโ€™s boring i wanted someone to click every single score for me @JacieNicholson neighborโ€™s โ€œSkeleton Zoomโ€ display rules.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚ @JacieNicholson with 267 i believe you @JacieNicholson you know exactly what i mean donโ€™t act like you donโ€™t
what is the most common scoreigami does anyone knowit happened again
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚good morning to these lesbian grizzly bear moms only
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚A while back, Dunkin Donuts used Rob Gronkowski in some ads. But my friend and I had no idea he was a football playโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚off*erup is not going well4 me
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚this country is ungovernable. Just asking ppl to wear masks has resulted in three terrorists plots to kidnap theirโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚This is disgusting on so many levels
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Via @Patriots on Instagram: Cam Newtonโ€™s arrival.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Fellow teachers: one of my students just sent me A SELFIE FROM THE HOSPITAL to prove he wasnโ€™t just slacking off inโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚HISTORY STAYS THE SAME! The 2004 Boston Red Sox continue to be the ONLY team in Baseball History to comeback down 3โ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚If only I could clip a box hedge this fast by hand... I would use shears every time #topiary
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚ @IanMCusick reports are coming in that four loko is indeed never worth it, reporters also having water on scene.PAY BILL PAY BILL GET ICED COFFEE SIT ON COUCH TWEET MY SILLY LITTLE TWEETS PAY BILL PAY BILL SIT AT BOTTOM OF SHOโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚ @IanMCusick league sources are telling me that ian needs some waterTHE 2020 HOUSTON ASTROS AINโ€™T THE 2004 BOSTON RED SOX!!
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚jfk jr? you mean la guardia?
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚โ€œWhen I say eat the rich I donโ€™t include Dolly Partonโ€. - @madso817
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Did my makeup to go to the car wash this is thriving in 2020 baby
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚ @midlifetimmy @nocontextcfb i cannot read bios. @midlifetimmy @nocontextcfb youโ€™re no context college football?!?? @DanniHFL DANNIyou ever just lay in bed at night thinking about life?
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚POV it's 1963 and you just got roped into a helluva gig by the CIA
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚This is exactly the rhetoric that has put me, my family, and other government officialsโ€™ lives in danger while we tโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚
I see no difference ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜…
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Siri, play โ€œI Miss Youโ€ by Blink-182
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚taxes are actually cool, good and very patriotic to pay
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚ @IanMCusick the red sox are looking for a new manager and i think i have the expertise to help them out @IanMCusick i would recommend simply scoring more runs than the opposing team @IanMCusick they appear to be losing, ianyou know what carrie? i CANโ€™T shoot whiskey and i DO prefer a fruity little drink. sue me!!!!!!!!!
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚if there were not a pandemic and i had my life together i would absolutely be kissing someone in a corn maze right this minute
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚the thing is absolutely nothing is stopping you from going into the middle of nowhere and finding some cows in a field to talk to
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚open for a surprise
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Sounds pretty reasonable to me.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚ @BrittanyMcCor20 @giraffekathryn this happened to one of my friends and it turned out my roommate was stalking herโ€ฆ rich & powerful get top-notch care and experimental drugs to recover from the virus they caught due to their owโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚i'm so fed up with that pope meme
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚ @Travis_Tango @JeffPassan i was watching the game and i couldnโ€™t tell youwell would you look at that, itโ€™s lay down in the shower oโ€™clock
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚ @mike_greene0 not according to the navy Rogers sued the Klan (and won!) because they were using his likeness to recruit kids. Mr. Rogers was not an apโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚the thing i'm mad about is weekends u used to be able to leave shit behind and go to some shitty bar to talk to strโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚this has been in my drafts forever and i don't know why
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚Sorry but watching astronauts sped up on the moon will never get old
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚In surprise disclosure, Joe Kennedy III campaign says it improperly spent $1.5 million in Senate primary
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚โ€œFour characters Leo stole their personality fromโ€
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚iโ€™ve always said if a man says his ex is crazy, thereโ€™s MUCH more to the story and it almost always never paints hiโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚ @ginadivittorio being stood up is honestly the most horseshit thing ever
[ first day of medical school ] me: *puts on white coat* wow I am so ready to be a doctor [ last day of medicalโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ๐ŸŽƒMads๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚ @objsucks stopppp