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Don’t spit on my hummus, bitch. She/her

84 Following   14 Followers   87 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/14/19


Almost forgot 😅
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
9/21
2020
Happy #BiWeek to all bi folks and the ones who love us. It’s not just a phase or a kink or because you don’t want… https://t.co/rbPD6AmpcG
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
9/17
2020
it's PCOS awareness month!! it is a common yet unspoken disorder and there isnt a lot of info about it and i believ… https://t.co/O4vBKgvHrD
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
9/15
2020
15 years since god and jane austen visited joe wright in his dreams and told him to create the best scene in film h… https://t.co/Ixsj2KgbYs
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
9/13
2020
My dog has the deadliest farts I’ve ever encountered. Like wtf is going on in there?
9/3
2020
the thing I miss most about movie theaters is overhearing someone say the dumbest fucking thing i’ve ever heard before the previews start
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
8/31
2020
I’ve been spending a lot of time with myself lately and that bitch is crazy
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
8/14
2020
me passing someone: u slow bitch me being passed: ok speed racer
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
8/3
2020
Ok AZ, one of my friends is missing. She went to her boba kiosk at Arrowhead Mall on Saturday and hasn’t been seen… https://t.co/vsu9ezVPcE
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
7/27
2020
@ZoeJordanD just now: “Man I’ve been waiting for 5 o’clock forever. Want a glass of wine?”😂
7/23
2020
Can’t remember when exactly @ZoeJordanD became my wife, but I’m here for it.
7/22
2020
https://t.co/0ZxLIm7RYZ
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
7/13
2020
if y’all can retweet this enough times that Disney calls, that’d be greatly appreciated https://t.co/GrKlIRxg3J
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
7/2
2020
This is how my whole 2020 has been going, so it only makes sense😑 https://t.co/iLyU35xqNe https://t.co/DKfiOINPz1
6/30
2020
Hmm it’s hard to know whether true facts are true or not, even when I see it with my own eyes and have first hand e… https://t.co/BvTGgu8DIF
6/21
2020
@ZoeJordanD Yeah, singing God Bless America is a super persuasive argument against protecting yourself and others f… https://t.co/qawWGxahPZ
6/18
2020
@CityofPhoenixAZ must allocate 3 million to the Civilian Review Board on June 3rd! Too many Black and brown people… https://t.co/wJdLYKCPOVI’ve been getting a lot of questions from my non-Black friends about how to be a better ally to Black people. I sug… https://t.co/XDmTro7VT9
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
6/2
2020
If you had any doubt about America’s priorities, here’s how the people killing us are equipped vs the people keepin… https://t.co/m6urkTP8qh
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
5/31
2020
@NiallOfficial help us have the best non-concert concert tomorrow!🙌🏼 #HeartbreakWeather #NiallHoran https://t.co/upaNc1KukV
5/14
2020
“You know how we were talking about if we’d date Shrek? Well I’d DEFINITELY date human Shrek” -@MahaffyClaire
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
5/9
2020
@sadeejopennee @ZoeJordanD @nanimal5 She does that on a normal basis, so I’m used to it anyway🤷🏻‍♀️ @ZoeJordanD @sadeejopennee @nanimal5 Oooh you can do a lot with spite as your fuel. Okay, I’m willing to see how it goes @sadeejopennee @ZoeJordanD @nanimal5 Damn and she was saying she could repress her feelings...I’m not certain she’ll be able to😂😂"Title of your sex tape." https://t.co/O828sTHzsf
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy @ZoeJordanD @nanimal5My roommates just told me I’m not allowed to do a juice cleanse with them because I’m too much of an asshole when I… https://t.co/gIWLw2P3XF
5/7
2020
It’s a bourbon, gin, then tequila kind of night https://t.co/C05I9VwXM2
4/30
2020
I started watching #DefendingJacob for @ChrisEvans . I kept watching Defending Jacob because it’s SO DAMN GOOD!
4/26
2020
My roommate knows I hate waking up so much that the first words out of her mouth were “How was getting up?” 😂😂😂
4/25
2020
If you need a show to binge watch, please make it @mindykaling ‘s show The Mindy Project. It’s hilarious and witty. Love it.
4/22
2020
Turns out I can’t feed myself with a spoon left-handed. Let’s hope I never lose my right hand or we’ll be in some big trouble
4/11
2020
yes I get sad when I’m not included in group chats. no I never speak in group chats. we exist
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
4/7
2020
My first thought waking up after a shift: coffee or margarita? My second thought: ¿Por que no los dos?
4/5
2020
~a glow up~ https://t.co/4INhhwVmIK
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
4/3
2020
@mallory_goodell Oh absolutely, you are an integral part. I can’t do the dance aloneNext on my list of things to occupy me while forced to stay at home: learning the whole Cell Block Tango dance star… https://t.co/oeK9w1Yqlj
3/31
2020
@NiallOfficial Rocking out to #HeartbreakWeather so I’d say doing pretty well today🤘🏼
3/30
2020
I just need good ol covid19 to clear up before @NiallOfficial ‘s concert in May, okay?
3/25
2020
@dog_rates Just a loaf of a pup loving all the extra snuggle time he has with me https://t.co/oiMYl5EqGR
3/23
2020
Some cats in pants. Some no pants.
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
3/18
2020
@ZoeJordanD what a cunt
3/12
2020
got hustled by a girl scout. again
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
2/13
2020
@ZoeJordanD I’m not, they just keep popping up on my timeline as if Twitter thinks I care what you like @ZoeJordanD stop liking tweets about the Bachelor until I have time to watch it!! Smh if I see one more tweet about… https://t.co/bxH49bFVp0
2/6
2020
@Lestfest17 He’d turn into Harry “Influencer” Potter...”okay guys now I’m trying on the Galloping Gargoyles frames,… https://t.co/4YEXiNosnJ
1/26
2020
Most difficult question in my life right now: burrito first or nap first?
1/23
2020
That’s EXACTLY what I was gonna say😂 https://t.co/wHvyBQZ9qD
1/11
2020
@Lestfest17 @_legallyginger_ You went to kartchner caverns in elementary school? I went a few years back and it sca… https://t.co/DKrPVR4nnl
1/10
2020
Newly obsessed with @RealChalamet . Looks like a string bean but acts like a damn pro. Well done, you.
1/8
2020
Somebody said @PostMalone looks like a graffitied billboard and I couldn’t agree more. The hottest billboard I’ve ever seen😍
1/1
2019
@nanimal5 @lizzo @hsdaily @Harry_Styles Wish he would also do Truth Hurts! @nanimal5 @johnkrasinski Yes yes yes!!!!😍😍😍 @wantyouhemmings @lizzo @hsdaily @Harry_Styles She would slayyyy and maybe she could throw some flute in there @lizzo @hsdaily @Harry_Styles Soooo now @lizzo will cover a @Harry_Styles song, right? It’s only fair🤷🏻‍♀️
12/19
2019
Pasta, cock, and nachos. It’ll be an interesting year. https://t.co/5VKo7yvwcx
12/17
2019
This will forever be one of my favorite Office moments. https://t.co/NFRnp7N6NaJust a big ol’ thanks to @Harry_Styles for those 47 mins of pure, raw emotion. #FineLine will be on repeat for daysssss.
12/13
2019
The only song I want to listen to today is Adore You. If you’re going to play another song...just...don’t. Unless i… https://t.co/JPKyuIdE3LSuch a damn groovy tune❤️ https://t.co/My7d6PlO18
12/6
2019
@hsdaily Do Harry’s hands come included in this purchase? @Lestfest17 Hold on to your pants, everybody.
12/5
2019
So Harry, Niall, AND Liam are all releasing music this Friday? Coincidence? I think not.
12/4
2019
I need everyone to watch Dollface on Hulu so that they make a second season. And because it’s so good and you will… https://t.co/DksvV7zfcH
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
12/1
2019
Can’t believe I’ll be in the cherry pit at a @Harry_Styles concert in less than a year😍😍 Best believe I’m gonna los… https://t.co/MgrlTp8iZA
11/18
2019
@jameelajamil is just the goddamn bees kneesLOVE ON TOUR 2020. https://t.co/wNMG0W5KhI
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
11/13
2019
@NiallOfficial See you in Phoenix, my spicy Irish love👀😎 #NiceToMeetYaWorldTourLook who’s* back in the right place** at the right time***. * - #Brooklyn99 Season 7 ** - @NBC *** - Thursday, Feb… https://t.co/ePxd9xHxol
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
11/9
2019
@EisReading 24 and Macfayden all the way. Although Firth in that outfit with the curly hair makes me swoon every time. @Harry_Styles Wanna borrow my outfit for your tour? #FineLine https://t.co/4iGIN1mMLg
11/6
2019
FINE LINE . THE ALBUM . DEC 13 https://t.co/ARzqYds8Vn
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
11/4
2019
@nanimal5 He’s a transponster!
10/29
2019
What would it take for me to get a sneak preview of #HS2 ? @Harry_Styles I’m willing to bribe and/or bargain
10/25
2019
I was not mentally prepared https://t.co/20mDsRb9VR
10/21
2019
I’ve never seen a more accurate video in my life😂 https://t.co/MnVexXpFvY
10/14
2019
no hetero but harry styles gyrating in a soup of naked guys and ladies is the hottest thing i’ve ever seen???? https://t.co/jMDF1lzzFs
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy💙🖤💙🖤 https://t.co/uE4dmFcNdt
10/11
2019
Someone just told me I looked old and tired. Well guess what. I am old and tired so YOU can’t hurt me.
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
10/6
2019
if you leave the room i’m in. i will always follow you to the next one. whatever this adventure is. you don’t have to do it alone
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
10/5
2019
In an emotional meeting in Tel Aviv, two Jewish cousins were re-united after 75 years with both believing the other… https://t.co/eu0icWyN6z
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
9/28
2019
@Collider Me.
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
9/27
2019
My promise to anyone who does this: "Your ears you keep, so that every shriek of every child shall be yours to cher… https://t.co/mD0AGYFDeJ
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
9/18
2019
will the harry styles cover be scratch and sniff @rollingstone
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
9/17
2019
i may have gotten bigger. but my desire to be held. has remained constant
Retweeted by Claire MahaffyIf you love dogs and need a good cry, this is the thread for you https://t.co/8by50ZKVJP
9/16
2019
For the past year, I’ve been filming myself scaring my best friend @NickStopTalking Today is Nick’s birthday and… https://t.co/g09gd82BVm
Retweeted by Claire Mahaffy
9/14
2019

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