Security experts have some concerns about Biden's Peleton. But Trump posed tons of security risks!It's called crossfit because you're really mad that you're doing it
Retweeted by Dannylord no. i’d rather stay single than that.
Retweeted by DannyJanuary 20th is “put out the trash” day for America.
Retweeted by DannyDo you think that there is any chance Sanaa Lathan would agree to make a guest appearance in one of my tweets?RT if you're proud to have voted for Legitimate Joe!Support your local roller derby.
Retweeted by DannyOh good. A snow squall warning.
I don’t remember the last time we had a squall.
Squish, yes.
Squeeze even.
Not a squall.
Retweeted by DannyI want someone who will stand by my bed and fan me while feeding me grapes.
No weirdos.
Retweeted by Dannyi only have time for three modes:
-worry about adult son
-in the depths of counseling clients through the effects…
https://t.co/BsqBGIgCpr Retweeted by DannySorry I said now that you are vaccinated I’m turning grocery shopping duties back over to you.
Retweeted by DannyYou don’t have a nemesis you have a mental illness.
Retweeted by DannyTurns out all kinds of monsters can fit through a little crack in the door.
Retweeted by DannyFuck this day and I don’t mean that as a sexual innuendo.
Retweeted by DannyI don’t mind seeing an emotional and caring President
Retweeted by Danny.@MSNBC, please chuck Todd already.
Retweeted by Dannytoday’s In Political History: Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester (1391-1447) married his mistress, Eleanor Cobham, who wa…
https://t.co/axp6zjnoaE Retweeted by DannyI used to love swimming in all types of water and now I won't get into small pools because there might sharks.
Retweeted by DannyDon't think of Jan 20 as the end of era, think of it as the end of an enema.
Retweeted by DannyREALLY? Our biggest worry about Biden being in the White House is that he has a Peloton?? You remember Donald Trump, right?
Retweeted by DannyAs my sweet mother used to say, “Good riddance.”
Retweeted by DannySister Sledge and MC Hammer have paired up this summer for the Sledge Hammer Tour.
Retweeted by DannyIn your 50s — suddenly and without warning — you begin to happily welcome cardigan sweaters into your wardrobe.
Retweeted by DannyAnd here I thought cancel culture was a reference to the Republicans continually voting no on arts funding.
Retweeted by DannyMy favorite oxymorons:
Government intelligence
Airline food
Corporate culture
Brief survey
Fox News
Retweeted by DannyMy wife no longer says “I’ve had it up to here with you” because it’s gotten out of her reach.
Retweeted by DannyIn Momese, "Just a second" roughly translates to "I'm going to forget until 2am when I'm in bed overthinking for everyone."
Retweeted by Danny“Trump was a treasonous jerk. But please, don’t think you have a mandate to do stuff. Your candidate promised to un…
https://t.co/QsdUZzMdfi Retweeted by DannyTime machine jokes are offensive to me. A time machine killed my great-great-grandson.
Retweeted by DannyIt’s weird how in almost every movie set in the future the characters have futuristic clothing and technology, but…
https://t.co/LyOwEIJtrg Retweeted by Danny[job interview]
Me: Do you have a cry room?
Interviewer: Oh, you have kids?
Me: No.
Retweeted by DannyWeird how the Book of Revelation never mentions stores running out of toilet paper.
Retweeted by Danny @JohnLyonTweets pseriously!I’m sick of silent letters taking up space in our words and not doing any work. Get a job, freeloaders!
Retweeted by DannyIt's not really a pardon but he could at least free Britney.
Retweeted by DannyHappy Birthday to this guy
(gouache and ink on paper)
#
EdgarAllanPoe
#
Poe https://t.co/f93DLdB1rl Retweeted by DannyIs anyone actually retweeting anything?
Retweeted by Danny @kimtopher22 ❤️
@kimtopher22 They were real patriots and heroes. Their service is appreciated. May the memories of them continue to chime as a blessing.These two men, my brother and my father, were Patriots. Both worked to help the local people while deployed, and co…
https://t.co/wHZbdTSGNk Retweeted by Dannymay god have mercy on your soul(cycle)
Retweeted by DannyMe: I love imagining what we could do together *slow wink*
Policeman: I just said 'come with me'
Retweeted by DannyFYI: I’m expecting a pardon from Trump soon. Thus, I will not need to continue tweeting to fulfill my community service obligation.
Retweeted by DannyThe greatest advantage of big boobs is that after they sag enough they become nunchucks. Good enough, send
Retweeted by DannyLooking forward to the series finale of America's Worst President
Retweeted by DannyWhat if he pardons someone we think is dead but isn't and they reappear?
Retweeted by DannyControversial opinion here but kid contestants on tv shows are AWFUL
Retweeted by DannyTrump gets sued so much post-presidency that the family end up having to move to a duplex in North Jersey. The sidi…
https://t.co/yL8lXiQVdG Retweeted by DannyThose who speak ill of French wine are vin-dicative.
Retweeted by Danny
