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Simply me, thick curvy flirty sarcastic witty moody random pain in the ass verbal hoe,sub/brat Only fans๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ”žโŒNO DMsโŒ

6,459 Following   28,784 Followers   81,306 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/24/19

Sorry your ears are cold. Need my thighs to help warm them up?
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คSometimes I just donโ€™t have the words to tell you what you mean to me... So Iโ€™ll show you instead....
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คWhen you care about him so much you make believe you gagged on it..
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–ค @HanukkahKandle @tinyrush17 Mmmhmm toxicI only became the bad one when I started returning the disrespect I was gettingWant to connect to someone? Speak to them in their present state and not to their downloaded subconscious programming.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คIโ€™m a grower not a shower. ~my brain with a migraine
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI miss the days when my greatest daily concern was where I was gonna spend my day playing street ball at.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คYou and me against the world. #6wordspoet
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คYou think you want me for just my body....then youโ€™re missing out on the best part of me.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คIโ€™ve never really had a nickname but Yes works. Yes, just like that! God, Yes! Fuck Yes, Iโ€™m coming!
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คItโ€™s cold out! I want to cuddle, then do horribly naughty things to your body. Under the stars, in the bed of a truck, at midnight!
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คWhen he sends you a pic of a pond, appreciate the pond ffs.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คNormalize dating smart strong successful women. Donโ€™t be a wuss.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คThe thought of an actual orgy scares me. How about a group hug instead?
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คYouโ€™re not as annoying as you think you are. There is someone who canโ€™t get enough of you. You probably find them annoying though.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คScience says masturbation is good for your health. *puts โ€˜health consciousโ€™ on dating profile
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คIt's not always by choice that some develop fondness for melancholy words...
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คRewrite those words again if you feel... It wasn't felt how you wanted it to be felt...
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คIt seems so simple & easy when they say - Why be sad when you can choose to be happy... Why stay lonely when you can mingle & party...
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คIf I retire at 65 it would be 47 years think I would rather die first ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI just turned 49 last week been working in the same place for 33 years I am so sick of working I wish I could retire ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คYay back in the shit hole ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คPeople that love anal are ass hoes.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–ค*gestures at everything* No thank you.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คNo amount of experience will prepare you for a womans mind
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คSMOKE TIME!๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ˜ค
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI need a rough fuck that leaves mystery bruises
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คIf its real;it will never be over.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI'm pretty sure that someone somewhere needs to hear this and I quote "a heart that gets broken many times eventualโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คTo be haunted by your own thoughts is the plot of life's horror movie.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คConfess your *Love* for 2020. Gifs only.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI'm NOT a hoarder I'm just saying I should hang out with someone normal for ONE day So I can observe and study thโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คNo need to DM me your A/s/L I don't care
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คYears ago when we were still married my ex-wife asked me if she looked fat, and I said โ€œyou donโ€™t look fat, you looโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คItโ€™s not my dick, itโ€™s Delissio
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คLet me start this by saying I am NOT fishing for a compliment.. Feeling ugly today, so I forced myself to go to tโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI'm just a normal, everyday woman that struggles with shit, always wants to fuck, and possibly may have been Cardiโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คA Poem Is A sister of wind a daughter of time a virgin delight ventured and adored in ink and wine
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI like the ones that make you smile on the inside too
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คDonโ€™t say the words if you donโ€™t mean them
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คNot sure what a great day is, but if it ends in bacon, peppers and onion fried potatos, then that's what today is.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI dont know, I guess if I was a celebrity I'd campaign for them to stop messing with the Oreo.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คIโ€™m perfectly capable of pretty, poetic prose, but sometimes just saying fuck is sufficient.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คHe leaves songs for me on our playlist like love notes.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คTrying to drink away the sadness of 2020
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คHey y'all ducks
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI have my own kill room. --me flirting
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คOne of the main problems a lot of stupid people have is that they don't understand English even if itโ€™s their primary language.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คEvery once in awhile I doze off reading your tweets... Which I gotta say, I actually look forward to some much neeโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คThe day's more than halfways over, and I'm already experiencing 'complaints overload'... With nary a one of my ownโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คIf the path you walk is in the wrong direction, maybe get your compass out of your ass
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คOh, youโ€™re disappointed? Maybe stop fantasizing about everyone you meet and try to see them as they really are
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คThe Avengers would not be able to assemble in Hell because Hell hath no Fury.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คSex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คIf nothing else, Be genuine with yourself.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI may have missed #TequilaTuesday but there is no way I am missing #WhiskyWednesday! Cheers my peeps! The Great Onโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คHidden amongst the cloudy night sky, Is your star I always wish upon.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คAt my age, when I get down, it takes me about ten minutes to get back up again.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI lost thirty pounds while trying to eat with chopsticks.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คIโ€™m having another slice of cake in honor of your birthday.... itโ€™s got to be somebodyโ€™s birthday out there today right?
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คA 2020 do over. Without all the bullshit. #OnMy2020ChristmasList
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI love you more than my dog. ......said no one, ever.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คThe dog steals my makeup every morning, and I haven't figured out if it's because he doesn't want me to leave for wโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คQuote of the day: "Gee Mr. Mike you sure are...leafy!" - neighbors 5 year old
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คYou can't get mad if someone doesn't pay attention to you if you stay so far out of sight they don't even know you're there.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คIโ€™ll book a hotel room so we can sleep together nap*
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คA desire to be vulnerable Not an ounce of fucking will to allow it
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คwhen youโ€™re too tired to process smells correctly and omg this shot of whiskey tastes like soy sauce Iโ€™m fine
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คA word to the wise, never tell someone โ€œwhatโ€™s the big deal itโ€™s just hairโ€œ after a bad dye job or haircut. Hair salon PTSD is a thing
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คHow I love hearing from him
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คShedding unrequited love like autumn leaves
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI notice no other For you
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คNothing but Stained nightmares Inked across an old dream
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–ค*Tightening The Lasso of Truth around husband* Me: Did you eat the last cookie? Husband: This is never gonna workโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI want to put the temperature of the surface of the sun into a wooden hut. ~Sauna pitch meeting
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คLetting shit go is easier said than done
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คIs it over yet?
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI hate clutter
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คYour vote doesnโ€™t count unless you post your sticker
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คMy friend from back home was almost 6ft by the time she was 12. She got grief about her height, especially when weโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คIf you got the chance to somehow see a preview of your future, would you take it?
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คThe only thing that doesn't belong on pizza is your shitty attitude.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI find comfort in silence these days, I need my alone time like the air I breathe
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คMy daughter wants to come over for the 3rd weekend in a row. I had plans but she'll never know that, cause when a dโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คExhausted beyond words, I think I could sleep for the rest of my life right now. But it'll be 6 hrs & back to it, cโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คDon't go putting silly restrictions on the amount of time spent.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คUh, yes. I'll have another cup of coffee, 2 lithium, and a Centrum Silver. And the check.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI'm not drunk, I'm just rehearsing my basic right of free falling.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คYou as customer care executive , โ€œYour call is important to us,โ€ Me as customer care executive, โ€œWeโ€™ll leave youโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คThe key to a successful marriage is flattering your partner on what they do good. My marriage failed because she nโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คKnowing that you are vulnerable is kind of Wisdom that you have.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คSo for Halloween did you buy a mask for each one of your faces or are you just letting the really ugly one go naked?
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คโ€˜Donโ€™t panic, but...โ€™ are never calming words.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คCan yโ€™all stop looting, rioting, speeding and general hell raiding please??? Youโ€™re cutting in to my boyfriend timeโ€ฆ
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI feel like a Katy Perry song... Iโ€™m hot then Iโ€™m cold...
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI'll only like your selfie if there's something interesting in the background, or if you have a unibrow.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คI'm not proud of it but when I was single sometimes I'd get drunk, go to the record store and wake up next to a strange CD the next morning.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–คThere are adventures out there waiting for you. [later] I didn't say they'd be good adventures.
Retweeted by ๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸŒธ~Maria~๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ–ค