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This & that , bleeps & blips

455 Following   788 Followers   70,907 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/3/08

For one final time he’s lept above Peter Shilton.
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowThis video, of swans wreaking havoc at Bath Spa train station, has it all. For me, it’s the sudden appearance of…
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlow @Edit_Kev @RedRoseMichelle Nothing will happen. Just MA having a field day in court.The EE 5G advert with Rita Ora feels like a comedy pitch that somehow squirmed through. @SkyCasino #WheelWednesday @skybingo #WinnersWednesday
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No way Boris Johnson can visit all of his kids in three different households. my end of term we watched videos. So hopefully someone will make a cake VHS and a pastry TV on wheels. #GBBOFinalIn glad Laura is fucking off any method for cooking stuff down and just going for it. Like we’d all do. #GBBOFinalLiterally looks like they’re making the 💩 emoji. #GBBOFinalLaura needs the type of fridge Boris Johnson hid in. #GBBOFinalThe prize for #GBBO has always been shit. See if it’s still a frosted glass plate.A laminated pastry? #GBBO favourite part of the #GBBO final is the “what they did after the bake off” ended montage.Christmas baubles* @skyvegas £1million pound giveaway! @adamsowilliams @Sporf True. He kept it up for longer.
Not Tony Meatballs! @alexsheppard So sorry for you and your families loss.This will never not fascinate me. Leeds
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In Christmas “baubles” would be more festive.
Think I’ve found my favourite graffiti
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowThis American Tik Tok creator moved to Wolverhampton and now tells Americans how great our food is, including the y…
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlow @NUFC360 Hendrick brace incoming"LOBSTER FOR SALE"
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowAmericans still mustn’t know that trump means farts in the UK.“The smell of your cinnamon sanitised hands.”
Is it a two legged legal case tie? @mofgimmers Spicy soy sauce @SkyCasino Frankie Dettori #WeeklyPuzzleTax Amazon.
Prince Andrew wouldn’t of had that issue. @RedRoseMichelle with all this ifs and buts for NUFC v the PL I remain sceptical a takeover will be pushed through;…'s Chocolate Orange what?
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowFuck all will happen. @toonarmy_com I still can’t see how any outcome would force a takeover through.Well done Scotland. insider reveals Percy Pig and Colin the Caterpillar despise each other and haven’t spoken since 2016
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlow @alexsheppard Happy Birthday Alex! May your day be full of booze , cake and a potato waffle full of candles. @vizcomic Peak Viz
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowyou’d think after 8 years of broadband problems that Mel C would just leave Virgin Media x
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@skyvegas A @SkyCasino #WheelWednesdayhuge opportunity for one lucky new yorker
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Death = profit @alexsheppard A toasted potato waffle sandwich is a thing of beauty. @stuheritage He’s with the Twitter eggs.Being a total cunt is more the reason.
Simple, yet effective. they shouldn’t work in songs but do: The BT woman saying “please hold the line” in May Nothing But Happine… @beccadeltest It’s wholesome content.WE BEAT SCOTLAND!
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlow @beccadeltest Is that the same show that Rylan does on Channel 4?Whatever will they think of next? Cheesy chips? are these so funny 😭😭😭😭
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowDominic Cummings tells Simon Walters in ⁦@DailyMailUK⁩ today: “I’ve nothing bad to say about Carrie, I wish her wel…
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowCould cause damage if anyone dropped a tab of acid in here.
Name a more iconic duo....
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@NUFC360 The ground is woven into the city and the whole place is involved. Pre match meets and then the post match… Only allowed because I had an eye operation the next day. Fun times being 13 and buying pints with no que… having a crisp sandwich , not liking gravy and writing poor articles in the past.
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowA Percy pig Christmas tree, just what I wanted Soph
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlow @NeverEnoughShoe I get ads for Harrords and The Ritz which I find very confusing.Pornhub’s Insights team shares the top searches in each state during election week!
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowSo Donald Trump has lost 306 to 232. The 306 of course famously a successful small family car for Peugeot. No cars…
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowI heard someone refer to San Pelligrino Orange as Tory Fanta and now that’s all I can ever call it
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowHe’s nailed on for a addition for I’m A Celebrity...
🍿 after a Royal Mail/Hermes driver when the door goes and you can’t quite get there before they walk off. @ClareBarry I agree. I had tickets for Euro 2020 and it would be weird going to it in 2021 like some weird time traveller.Quick interruption to bring you The Simpsons view of Britain right now.
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Not from @theonion @mofgimmers Happy anniversary of you; you loveable scamp.Bon apple teeth
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Johnny Cash warned us about this
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowI’ve read this so many times, I don’t even know where to begin...
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlow @jamieeast ...they are in the hunt for dial up internet.Let there be clock 🕰️🎸🤘 #acdc
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On the sesh with Premier League managers. A thread >
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowWam bam thank you lanivimab would of been more memorable.
Have any dessert places created a Boris Johnson waffle yet? #DowningStreetBriefingChris Rea will get uni students home for Christmas. #DowningStreetBriefingAs a football analogy , Van Tam looks like a chairman who would pick the team himself. #DowningStreetBriefingThank fuck Johnson didn’t go for a camouflage suit.
Local news of the week: Brawl in Tesco eggs aisle during Remembrance Sunday two-minutes silence edition.
This cursed image always had Biden as a winner. #Election2020 #BidenHarris2020 @becksisafreak And deffo a grass. @becksisafreak He’s always been my favouriteI’d pick Sweep over Sooty and Sue.! Cassetteboy vs Trump 2020
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlow @ClareBarry My only knowledge of evictions are from Channel 5 documentaries.Not officiall until his bio is updated #bidenharis2020 @popbitch that’s exactly what’s happening there
Retweeted by MatthewLaidlowSky should put that on PPV.