Sign in with Twitter

Username:

Matt Starr @matthewsstarr New York City

My hands are wet because I just washed them. He/Him/His. Currently writing at @mtvnews Past at: @aboveaverage @collegehumor @ucbtny

1,045 Following   3,601 Followers   5,190 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/29/08


I hope wherever he is, he’s finally hosting that intergalactic kegger. RIP Rip Torn
7/10
2019
@jason_sweeten @frankgarciahejl Yes, this and “Every Character Wears a Cape” are the first two sessions in… https://t.co/KJDpbPJ1YB
7/8
2019
If you want to see me on a game show, tonight is your night! https://t.co/q3ckpwAaUC @SamanthaaaReece Matthew F. Star
7/7
2019
SUNDAY, 8PM: Janeane Garofalo returns to New Material Night at @thepitnyc! Hosted by yours truly, with guests… https://t.co/UkfJnw0vxM
Retweeted by Matt Starr*BRAND ANNOUNCEMENT* (For the person I wish I was) —When I leave a room, I say “Ta Ta, Toto” —I no longer eat lu… https://t.co/79IIEAFB9E
7/5
2019
He told me I didn’t have to give him credit but @DanSpenser did a Pixar tweet that made me think of this tweet so follow him!Pixar Movies (As Originally Titled By Fall Out Boy) —This Cowboy Got Snakes In His Boot (You’re A Spaceman) —I Am… https://t.co/XBY5nQxthS
7/3
2019
Kerry is so close to reaching her goal and wouldn't it justify this whole website if we could use it to help her?… https://t.co/HcupZsV9GU
6/23
2019
@AliseNavidad Used to pronounce it her-ME-oh-KNEE like it was some kind of British pasta
6/20
2019
Watch #MTVNEWS' LIVE #MTVAwards aftershow right now with @Dometi_ and @matthewsstarr @ezwrites @GriffLightning!… https://t.co/kRGRmbj1Fv
Retweeted by Matt Starr
6/18
2019
@arielgitlin This is how you end up owning 80 Polaroid cameras.
6/13
2019
@UniqueDude2 Do you not have dishes? That's different than not having a dining room. I didn't think I'd have to go… https://t.co/v1QiRqMOM9 @UniqueDude2 I think you can eat anywhere and you deserve to have a little box that washes your dishes!
6/12
2019
@eblarden YOU’RE WORTH IT! @NatTowsen Nat Out Of Hell, and then the album cover is you eating actual meat loaf just as like, a wink that you know.This is for everyone but mostly my friends in NYC: YOU DESERVE A DISHWASHER.
6/11
2019
I’m starting a support group for people experiencing the shock of a businessman turning around to reveal he’s got a ponytail.
6/10
2019
@joshgondelman I always just miss these but I love that they happen!
6/9
2019
If it was was written today, “867-5309” would be sung “I’ve got your number saved in my phone.”Very excited to come to Chicago in August! More shows announced soon! @caveatnyc https://t.co/wLkL7l67lh
6/7
2019
@timothydunn This explains why I'm just getting into it.
6/6
2019
Me and @kelseyNOTgramer and @Dometi_ wrote this and you should watch it. #WhenTheySeeUs is on @netflix and you sh… https://t.co/nFdkdsNH9t
6/3
2019
Why is the @MTA always like: NEXT TRAIN: 1000 minutes away TRAIN AFTER: 1003 minutes away SMHIAJW (shaking my head in a judgmental way)
6/2
2019
**Pixar Film Themes Guide** Toy Story: Jealousy WALL-E: Environmentalism Up: Bereavement Cars: Cars
Retweeted by Matt StarrPOLICE: 911, what's your emergency? ME: I'm calling to turn myself in. I haven't watched Fleabag yet. POLICE: You make me sick.GENTRIFY @Ucbtny SUBCULTURE TONIGHT AT 11:30pm Tix: https://t.co/r9FBeuHmM6 COMEDY FROM: @TheJFHarrishttps://t.co/pzhyPardFj
Retweeted by Matt Starr
5/31
2019
Very proud to write this with @kelseyNOTgramer. @rayjay3k nails. https://t.co/2nfYcoRgQu
5/29
2019
@PhilD What a brag! Look who is in multiple text threads.
5/28
2019
This was a terrifying thing to do and it’s what teachers do everyday. Thank a teacher then buy them a goddamn drink. https://t.co/FIJnOtGajySister Wives improv coach: “Your team is really good at pointing out who’s SEXIST in the scene, but not really at… https://t.co/070wGI8C45
Retweeted by Matt Starr
5/27
2019
Congrats to La La Land for now being on Netflix! https://t.co/iGkVgSof5H
5/23
2019
Okay well, we’re done. Everything’s canceled. https://t.co/ukLIO9Ds3P
5/22
2019
The #GameOfThonesFinale chose a king the same way any group of friends chooses take-out. Everyone just kind of shru… https://t.co/jbFT4zTIGhThe #GameOfThronesFinale was only bad if you watched the show from the beginning or binged watched it recently.
5/20
2019
Quick Dish NY: WINTER IS UP NEXT: A "Game of Thrones" Pregame & Watch Party Tomorrow @caveatnyc with @JennyGorelickhttps://t.co/vlAvtMsT0G
Retweeted by Matt Starr
5/12
2019
Get your tickets to Beers: an Improvised Sitcom for next Wednesday at 9:30pm at @ucbtny Hells Kitchen! There will b… https://t.co/kpZNcZJ289
Retweeted by Matt Starr
5/7
2019
⚔️ This Sunday ⚔️ join me and @JennyGorelick at @caveatnyc for our Game of Thrones pre-show comedy trivia party!… https://t.co/V3G4kHv9ic
Retweeted by Matt Starr
5/4
2019
I will be almost a man at this! Who will I be? https://t.co/VsVm3Cun9M
5/1
2019
I overheard a guy saying a punchline to his two friends and they all cracked up. The punchline was: “And he said,… https://t.co/2fyxspuR6KGENTRIFY @Ucbtny SUBCULTURE TONIGHT AT 11:30pm Tix: https://t.co/yiCMB3qziJ COMEDY FROM: @THEYCALLMEAHRIhttps://t.co/AMgqZHOIvb
Retweeted by Matt Starr
4/19
2019
@Delta I’m happy to. Is there a place to go to DMs? @Delta I’m trying to buy tickets to fly to a funeral and a customer service person just told me they couldn’t help… https://t.co/aJkP0BcaUm
3/31
2019
@markvigeant @ryguyguyry @liam_paris Yeah this is a great website!
3/20
2019
@ThisJamesCoker @ohhijackie HAHAHA my show will never be made into a movie.
3/12
2019
We saw previews during the #Oscars, but what actually IS ABC's new show #WhiskeyCavalier??? @Dometi_ and… https://t.co/4nmP641jQW
Retweeted by Matt Starr
2/28
2019
An actual Popular Movie award? A nomination for @rocketmanmovie? @Dometi_ and #NeedtoKnow panelists @matthewsstarrhttps://t.co/rEUdeVrByf
Retweeted by Matt Starr
2/26
2019
Watch #MTVNEWS' LIVE #Oscars aftershow right now with @Dometi_ and @matthewsstarr @ezwrites @thechelseawhitehttps://t.co/xhGBOq5FH0
Retweeted by Matt Starr
2/25
2019
@thecascott I will do my best to be caught up!
2/15
2019
Maroon 5’s half-time show was just one big ad for karaoke. #HalftimeShow @Dometi_ @conniewang @aminahimani https://t.co/QcAjDltxEbLet the records show @MTVNEWS reported it first. 😭 @matthewsstarr, you won #NeedToKnow in 2019. @aminahimanihttps://t.co/F6qmksYdgo
Retweeted by Matt StarrHell yeah Spongebob! @Dometi_ @conniewang @aminahimani https://t.co/dC4cgqFoXyThe theme of the #SuperBowlLlll commercials is people can talk to computers.
2/4
2019
This was so fun! Thanks for having us at #Tides6! https://t.co/vbHce7krJG
2/3
2019
A woman in New York was stuck in an elevator for the entire weekend. Here's @matthewsstarr with why this horrifying… https://t.co/0OKN12XW38
Retweeted by Matt Starr
2/1
2019
When I was chubby little kid, I used to get attention by singing Weird Al's *problematic* Michael Jackson parody so… https://t.co/VC2T71zaou
Retweeted by Matt Starr
1/26
2019
Wanna learn how to write the next @broadcity? Sign up for “Writing Your Pilot” starting this Sunday with comedian… https://t.co/eBAlGBRIE3
Retweeted by Matt Starr
1/25
2019
Is your New Year's Resolution to write a pilot? Take my class at @thepitnyc! Start off 2019 by writing that TV show… https://t.co/5Elz7we1Kn
1/17
2019
@CTScienceCenter I'm bringing my nerdy science-comedy show to @SeaTeaImprov this Saturday! I hope to see you there! https://t.co/cgZbd6NRykHere's the link to the workshop: https://t.co/RlfoPYu4Wl @ScienceMarchCT I'm bringing my nerdy science-comedy show to @SeaTeaImprov this Saturday! https://t.co/cgZbd6NRyk. I hope to see you there! @CTImprov I'm teaching a workshop this weekend at @SeaTeaImprov on making game easy. You'll leave with a bunch of d… https://t.co/sRlD94AgLWVery excited to bring my show Dark Matter to @SeaTeaImprov this Saturday! If you're a nerd in Hartford, CT come che… https://t.co/wcAFelROY4
1/9
2018
@chelseabfrei This is too real.
12/26
2018
This Kay Jewelers commercial absolutely does not work if your TV is on mute. https://t.co/qKSjvn1JoS
Retweeted by Matt Starr @DanSpenser Nah that’s different. More like this? https://t.co/vTQ1QFsy8C @DanSpenser I love this ghost buddy comedy you're pitching. Can we write this?
12/7
2018
Shout-out to @DanSpenser who I feel like might be the entire audience for this.I think @peta was more reasonable with their first draft: https://t.co/wng8vybbshCome to @caveatnyc to watch @alex3nglish, @markvigeant, and @holisox/@mrsdowjones take a Sex Ed class! Me and… https://t.co/fUjSNIQY7G
12/5
2018
SEX ED UNTEACHABLES TOMORROW NIGHT. Come watch me learn the stuff my public school didn’t want me to know. https://t.co/Gt6qaWo00X
12/4
2018
Frank, Kelso, and Nora are maybe the best people in the entire world. If they aren't the best, they are definitely… https://t.co/tJquzbbdR2
11/9
2018
TOMORROW 6:30pm | Phobias can make you anxious, sweaty and jumpy - so do I have an election phobia? @matthewsstarrhttps://t.co/v5KB7h0tu8
Retweeted by Matt Starr
11/6
2018
No excuse not to get there. #VoteBlue #SaturdayMorning https://t.co/xcwNiq997V
Retweeted by Matt Starr
11/3
2018
If you want your show to be at an awesome place, do it @caveatnyc. If you want the audience to have a wonderful t… https://t.co/5CgNStu3Qx
10/26
2018
Tonight is the night! Dark Matter, the show about space and relationships, comes home to @caveatnyc. Feat.… https://t.co/k6YaexFF1K
10/25
2018
I highly recommend this show for any folks interested in combining #scicomm and comedy. Astrophysics, astronomy and… https://t.co/IzSKNMPnFh
Retweeted by Matt StarrThis is a real-life picture of me getting stuff for the show tomorrow. Dark Matter is 10.25 @caveatnyc! Feat.… https://t.co/ZtFEDj8TS0
10/24
2018
Go see this show! It will be very fun! https://t.co/klv1O8CzXnME: 19 years ago today “Smooth” by Santana ft. Rob Thomas was number 1 on the charts. THERAPIST: I asked, “When w… https://t.co/bEbieNgasX
10/23
2018
Hi! I helped put together this show on Thursday at @caveatnyc! Come see @alexenglish, @joshgondelman and then… https://t.co/A98TdIFgSb
Retweeted by Matt StarrTHURSDAY 6:30PM | @alex3nglish hosts DARK MATTER, the show where @matthewsstarr looks at the universe and wonders ‘… https://t.co/Y52z30oYW3
Retweeted by Matt Starr
10/22
2018
[PSYCHING MYSELF UP IN MIRROR] ME: You aren’t going to be awkward today. MIRROR ME: Are you talking to...me...or… https://t.co/2UspsicotL
10/19
2018
One week from today, Dark Matter returns to @caveatnyc! This show questions our significance in the universe and wh… https://t.co/b7hQ1NCq64
10/18
2018
@TheMarkDowling I honestly would be floored if this was my legacy. Absolutely floored. @semironic I’ve been doing improv for 12 years. Trust me. It is impossible to do improv with a manner of supreme coolness. @semironic And then when they say yes, do you say, “are they cheap?”When you’re at a bar, what’s the cool way to ask, “what’s cheap?”Have you ever looked at the universe and wondered, "How can I make this about me?" Then @matthewsstarr 's Dark Matt… https://t.co/bH5v6VNU0N
Retweeted by Matt Starr
10/17
2018
When you bring a fan club to @caveatnyc and they play You Bingo #Unteachables https://t.co/fPRW1Tj9Z9
Retweeted by Matt Starr
10/4
2018
Action is definitely needed. https://t.co/cgv0iElR83
10/3
2018
Headed to Comic Con? Pregame w/ us on Oct 3 at Unteachables: Movie Magic 101! VFX artist @ncrist faces professional… https://t.co/eU3U7dKZRs
Retweeted by Matt Starr
10/2
2018
Tonight at PHIT: Oculum, Improvised Seinfeld, and Dark Matter! https://t.co/CVewz42Lnv https://t.co/ROSTlSboHw
Retweeted by Matt Starr
9/29
2018
Hey Philadelphia! Bringing Dark Matter to @phitcomedy tomorrow night! This is a show about true love and hypothetic… https://t.co/bHRE28bLyW
9/28
2018
THIS IS GOING TO BE DECIDED TONIGHT. If you ever wanted to call a Senator but were too scared, now is the time. Eve… https://t.co/6JK5hCYPLR
Retweeted by Matt Starr
9/27
2018
This week! We welcome Dark Matter: A Comedy Show by @matthewstarr https://t.co/oTFhpBOaqm
Retweeted by Matt Starr
9/25
2018
@DanSpenser Uhhhhh check please! @DanSpenser I have called "Avocados" "Abocabos" every single time since the two kids in a coat sketch. We are all Nostalgic Boy.
9/24
2018
NEW CLASS ALERT: @matthewsstarr will sit you down and get you to (finally) finish your pilot! Learn more: https://t.co/ukkCGS3s6l
Retweeted by Matt Starr
9/12
2018

0