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Sorry, I thought you were someone else. He/Him.

512 Following   1,853 Followers   9,457 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/4/09


Curtain Call 🥀 👘: Menagerie Intimates https://t.co/qoUccyZLUa
1/27
2021
@MissJodie My writing instructor didn’t like it. He says that midway through she loses her goal and the entire stor… https://t.co/BlrZlc9yAA
1/24
2021
So good! Need new episodes stat! https://t.co/Uvtg33JfMl @TheKalenAllen I once was at a party and these two guys were debating the Star Wars franchise. They were clearly ma… https://t.co/SLH1YLJfKa @PatrikSandberg She’s already a soap villain. @kim_anh Looking at you “Jagged Little Pill”Has someone done this yet? 😂 https://t.co/RFMwDusxEi
Retweeted by MATTY PIPES @shullshocked Like, “What ya gonna do ya little Mitch?!” https://t.co/iQ2NlfkAlbUpdate: my boyfriend did not like this tweet https://t.co/zZp4ADKPzHIf 34/35 was really a bottom anthem: I been drinking Metamucil... And I been eating ice cubes... Ya know I keep it… https://t.co/T1payEgRxsThis witch... https://t.co/UVFIYMOOiMIt’s just so funny because Bernie is the LAST person who gives a fuck about being a meme.
1/22
2021
Making mammaries... https://t.co/4ok7FiX3tBI am so excited to have a boring-ass President. Girl, I-
1/21
2021
@jeremyoharris Lady Antabellum sings the Cell Block Tango for the Capitol Rioters.Priest at ur dads wedding: “If anyone see a reason that these two shall not be married come forward now or forever… https://t.co/NW8tknz4G5Beep, Beep! Is that my Prezzy is a Tessy?! https://t.co/S2DlnUGyaGYa’ll Michelle’s hair is doing the Lord’s work! https://t.co/PyeHhXXRzl @camillard This hair!!!!Former Fly Girl, Jennifer López.JLo out here in this Presidential look!Bitch, did I get a pardon?! Let me check my email real quick.
1/20
2021
Who is Josh Hawley and why is he the devil?
1/19
2021
@JohnnySibilly I had to get up halfway through and turn all the lights on in my apartment.Missed the episode where the #NightStalker moved to Milan and became a supermodel... https://t.co/7da8qg8yZI
1/18
2021
@harinef 🐠 @jeremyoharris ..and performatively performative. @thannyxox They say DAYS goooo by I DONT know whyyyyy...
1/17
2021
Ya’ll, @AOC had time!!!! https://t.co/9UQntKGKoo
1/13
2021
I can't imagine being a Black parent and taking my child to a movie about kids playing Baseball and being assaulted… https://t.co/gskslA39nI"The Bad News Bears" was made in 1976. In this KIDS MOVIE, a little blond baseball player uses the N-word in front… https://t.co/W1OrRR6OR3
1/12
2021
Shonda Rhimes really has all of America praying for this Black man to 💦 inside this virginal white girl. Gag.If you’re THINKING about invoking the #25thAmendment then it’s time to invoke the 25th Amendment. @Mike_Pence
1/10
2021
Beep Beep! Is that my bessie in a Tessie?!
1/9
2021
Ya’ll I really thought that said “Bussy Challenge.” I’m like, What is going on in here on this day!Can we just skip to the part where some white dj makes a “All right Gayle, enough!” hip hop track?
1/8
2021
@pfpicardi The amount of “Radical Liberal Warnack”s that came out of that woman’s mouth, she’s just as culpable.… https://t.co/o6ErUxO3reMy psychic told me in June that this was gonna happen. That Biden would win and Trump would refuse to leave and the… https://t.co/4tb89ZgSUfSnitches get Snickers! That’s the saying, right? https://t.co/Xk4GgxJSK3Giiiiiirl, when I say these Republicans are gonna have whiplash from these about-faces! @PatrikSandberg Those people have jobs?!I know there’s A LOT going on today. So maybe we can just bookmark this for later...but does anyone else think the… https://t.co/QH8MS1FV9X
1/7
2021
@PatrikSandberg Start the car, I know a Whoopi spot!...Oh, Happy Day! https://t.co/ORxKBJ8DH9Ya’ll, right now the wife of the president is called the “First Lady” or FLOTUS, pronounced “Flow Des.” If we had… https://t.co/muM7FxHkwfIs anyone watching FOX NEWS? How are they spinning pure terrorism? @natasharothwell When it’s white people the police mysteriously forget about their tear gas and rubber bullets.Why isn’t this the headline?! https://t.co/LX6CFzA3LzSo we all just gonna act like it’s ok that white folks are storming the Capitol with no police response! But when… https://t.co/evut9IqHtW
Retweeted by MATTY PIPESImagine if they were Black! @MysterySolvent Just tonight?Stacey Abrams 💖 Stacey Abrams 💚 Stacey Abrams 💜Stacey Abrams 💙Stacey Abrams 💜 Stacey Abrams 💖 Stacey Abrams ❤️ Sta… https://t.co/4FvoBDwwtz
Retweeted by MATTY PIPESFuck Ya, Georgia!!!!! @GODDOLLARS When I tell you that man was getting LAID!!!!!Trump’s been full temper tantrum for months! Tomorrow the Senate will certify Joe Biden. We’ve all prepared for t… https://t.co/sugaKs0uaP @Juliannyc901 Like, seeing an island and having the NARCASSISM & AUDACITY to be like “I’ll name it for all eternity.”Chistropher Columbus was really out here just naming shit!
1/6
2021
Somebody was manifesting on the new year! https://t.co/kTG40xMwRwDid you know in the 18th Century the term “molly house” was code for a homosexual brothel? Look at history just repeating itself...
1/5
2021
What the fuck is a shit-eating grin?
1/4
2021
@JohnnySibilly Ya’ll didn’t kiss through the phone?
1/3
2021
Where the money reside!
1/2
2021
Babe says, “Stop taking pictures of your ass if I can’t eat it.”
1/1
2020
I’ve cried during every Disney Pixar movie. Soul was no different. The scene when he asks his mom for a suit.
12/29
2020
@Sethrogen Open the store already! @_zs I don’t like any of the way that sentence made me feel. @HelloWolfgang Goals. @notcameronrose @fkapeachiz Hershey’s Kisses @_zs The patriarchy has many forms. @Juliannyc901 Get the app EAT THIS MUCH! It gives you meals to reach ur cal goals daily and a weekly grocery list… https://t.co/NRdhdVBxlO @LilNasX When u in Aspen, sis? @loganstevensxxx Always a difficult question for a blond. But I think you have the machismo to pull it off.
12/28
2020
Ashtral Taffy
12/26
2020
For my birthday present to myself I bought a spot in an expensive but HIGHLY RECOMMENDED TV Writing seminar that st… https://t.co/roXRqAxBFWOn Wednesday at 5PM i'm giving away $10,000 live on @twitch with a few of my closest friends @TEEDinosaurs @jrocchttps://t.co/O8H2CiB9cK
Retweeted by MATTY PIPES
12/22
2020
I do my best manifesting on my birthday 🎂✨ 📸: @TyrenRedd https://t.co/tZpGihmkjC
12/21
2020
Model Citizen... https://t.co/1Fwk8Mj6vo
12/19
2020
@theestallion #BITCOINMEG https://t.co/udfIspSFxfDo u understand that I can’t even arrive at a Black function without knowing all the dance sections from Beyoncé’s… https://t.co/jbk3JAyiDUPlease STOP with the Shakira “Girl Like Me” choreo vids! It’s just glorified stretching. Do you even understand t… https://t.co/gvdcwnwrTe @antwou Ex-boyfriend @notcameronrose Do u use it to...ya know?Dose-o-clock https://t.co/vMDKkNexjp
12/17
2020
@VINCINT_ If you don't want to go to karaoke w/ me just say that! geez!
12/16
2020
@TM4W manifestIs there such a thing as a non-assless Chap?Good luck getting #ChrisPratt to suck a dick... #MarvelStudios https://t.co/pSlJoCkvcbMe, every time Ryan Murphy puts out a new show. https://t.co/M4DbxX7eb0
12/15
2020
@SenGillibrand Girl, if you’re already talking fantasy how about you add some ZEROS! @MosesSumney Screamed for you when you popped up in #EuphoriaHBO
12/12
2020
Stuck at home w/ #ErikCarter https://t.co/tutmksGtuRWhere’s the executive order to ban JJ Malibu?Christmas came early... #Nike https://t.co/emgJUh4s5f
12/11
2020
@CSalvatore What is a “week?”
12/10
2020
@Juliannyc901 Just call ur doctor up and get the shots, boo. Treat yo self.
12/9
2020
Bless Raphaël Warnock for not slapping #KellyLoeffer every time she called him out of his name.
12/7
2020
Whoever manages the lime-flavor distribution for Tostino’s Hint-of-Lime chips is who I want handling the next stimulus package.
12/5
2020
@fransquishco Girl, you gonna be waiting a minute. Hope u brought a book.🦍 https://t.co/7Ca8e1Xdlw
12/4
2020
Drag Name: Priscilla Cone-Stains
12/3
2020

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