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Please please buy my books so we can buy this haunted clown motel. IG: She/her/the presence in the air vents.

1,538 Following   147,095 Followers   133,535 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/14/08

Nothing today made sense, so I listened to Kate Bush. Now all is right again. @Sunfire2109 @dansinker motion granted @jinxeptor @dansinker we don't knowWatching @dansinker breaking down in real time trying to summary today for He watches it a… @rachelcaine if anyone has a right to complain, IT IS YOU! I'm so sorry. This is so horrible but you got this. I hope you can get some rest.Leave me alone about it put the oven on
Retweeted by Maureen JohnsonThe impeachment hearings, in summary. feels like the Hands On A Hardbody of politics.Jim Jordan at the pre-show warmup.
positive energy for your timeline, fren
Retweeted by Maureen Johnson @PaulaSimone Why is Keeley the worst? Do you know? @PaulaSimone Oscar is going to be in Seattle! He is flying there now. You can just hang around the airport with this if you want.I mean, it's a fair question. for teachers/media specialists/parents: are any schools showing any of the #ImpeachmentHearings? Do you wa… @danpfeiffer Excited to get to the entering weird op-eds into the record part of the proceedings. @albinokid @DevinNunes pookie I'm pacing @sarahw 👀 @dansinker hi danHey, Twitter family. I have a special request today. I'd like to help make some progress on this GoFundMe for a fam…
Retweeted by Maureen JohnsonToday, QUEEN OF NOTHING by @hollyblack is OUT. Go get 70 COPIES. You will NEED them. @Bibliogato it's so hard when they are sick. ❤️ @ZerlinaMaxwell Morning, Zerlina. I hope you have plenty of coffee. @Lin_Manuel Even injured, you are so tidy. Feel better, Lin! @writermarybeth @sayswhopodcast oh, about six monthsMy new @sayswhopodcast sticker has arrived! READY
NYC! Max needs a home! who's coming kids!
Retweeted by Maureen JohnsonToday I accidentally discovered that you can buy a $1100 Jenga set. Late stage Capitalism is a real sucker's game,… was staring absently at this medical office wall art for a good half hour before I thought, “Wait. Cats shouldn’t… @TeamUfYH @Lin_Manuel Lin legit gives me hope in many things. This is one of them. @sarahreesbrenna @LaurenMyracle @johngreen @kiernanshipka BABY LOVE! @Lin_Manuel @JeanineTesori Your house is soothingly tidy, Lin. It makes me feel like anything is possible!
My dog played with her friend and it turned...strangely romantic? @ManMadeMoon "There's no pizza quite like Woking pizza, is there Jenkins?" "No sir." "I think it's the water in the… prince went to the window, and after five or six minutes of examining the mechanism, worked out how to close th…"And when I said I was at the Pizza Express on that particular night in 2010. Yes, I rather nailed it, didn't I?" T…"You crushed it, sir," says the servant, as Prince Andrew dons the royal pajamas. "I did, didn't I?" the prince rep… @SarahWatson42 Finally, we have a hero.yes. @dansinker We just have nothing, you know? It's a real problem.I mean this is fair. It's well known that here in New York, there are no hotels, inns, rooms to rent, or just other… food? waiter: *suspiciously* yes
Retweeted by Maureen JohnsonI was spending quality time at #JojoRabbit. What is this Walter reed stuff? Conspiracy theories only. @AngryBlackLady That’s so Badger’s Drift. @twonnet @TaikaWaititi I think so. There are intense emotional experiences in it, so you might want to talk about those after.I just saw #JojoRabbit and I’ve never seen anything like it. The whole theater erupted into applause. @TaikaWaititi
Whoooooboy this is some interview. this #PrinceAndrew interview available for viewing in the US?Sometimes Dexy does not want to eat. Instead, she barks at and prances around her dish, like she is LAUGHING at it,…"POSSIBLE CULT ACTIVITY AT NIXON LIBRARY" 👀
Retweeted by Maureen Johnson @neilhimself How far is or down does this go.Do not blame me I am only the vessel. @PaulaSimone paula I am the vesselDear @neilhimself, please explain. This cannot be a coincidence.Bring it home. now. @gwensdad I have pierced the veilI'm on to something here.Hang on. @HayesBrown it's not my fault i am the vessel onlyWhat's happening. no.'m not wrong about this. @chick_in_kiev God bless youTeens: this is all as bad and dumb as it seems to be, but there is hope in every crack, in every time we turn on th… is all so much stupider than I thought it would be
Retweeted by Maureen JohnsonMy book Hi, Anxiety came out three years ago today. I'm still so proud of it and I think it's useful, too. At the t…
Retweeted by Maureen JohnsonRachel is going through something extreme. She could use an outpouring of live, and buy her books! They are great a… @rachelcaine ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️I just bought these KitKats, even though I really don't like peach, just so they can sit out prominently in my hous…
Retweeted by Maureen Johnson @dansinker hi dan what’s up?Honestly, today might be among the hardest day to untangle everything that happened impeachment-wise. Sitting down…
Retweeted by Maureen Johnson
THIS LOOKS LIKE A CASE FOR BOOK TWITTER."More LGBT people in media is something I've always wanted very badly. If our film can be a part of encouraging tha…
Retweeted by Maureen JohnsonSome heady news. We’ve received notice that we are losing our lease for our Balboa Avenue storefront, and will need…
Retweeted by Maureen Johnson @ZerlinaMaxwell Was really hoping you knew. @amandapalmer @neilhimself @GoodOmensPrime Would pay extraIs this how you lawyer? Can I lawyer? Am I lawyering now? @reynoldsgareth you're a good dadmood, there is no d in his name. The d is for typos. Or don't even care.Rodger Stone has been found guilty. On this momentous day, a nod to @spookperson, the greatest of the Rodger Stone…*removes bucket from head* did it start alreadyThis massive video of Christine Blasey Ford's testimony is playing on repeat in front of Brett Kavanaugh's dinner g…
Retweeted by Maureen JohnsonThis is terrible. #savemysteriousgalaxy @TunafishTiger @TaikaWaititi @sarahreesbrenna then it must be true @TunafishTiger @TaikaWaititi @sarahreesbrenna yes @PlanetofFinks @MaraWilson @KnivesOut DO YOU GUYS JUST PREMIERE ALL THE TIME ALSO THAT MOVIE LOOKS AMAZINGLast night I had a dream that @TaikaWaititi was telling me something wonderful and fascinating, but the alarm went… @Raphaelite_Girl oh my god*all of Author Twitter laughs, stares, wonders which stores oligarchs do their mass orders at*’s do this, Philly.
Many practices accepted as standard in the literary arts are, in my opinion, legitimatized scams that successfully…
Retweeted by Maureen Johnson @TheAntmanCometh think you can see yourself out. anticipate this will become An Object Of Concern.The children upstairs have acquired a steel drum.This is the most love Don Jr. has ever gotten.