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Vintage script writer and opinionated centrist. Too cool for shul.

931 Following   2,440 Followers   14,909 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/22/12

New song: WHY ARE ALL COMEDIANS LEFTIES? A question much asked and now, I hope, definitively answered...…
Retweeted by Maurice Gran @francesweetman Reported. Now to sanitise my handsI suppose that describes what happened in 1945. @quantick Malhaus-lotsofnumbers-pooruseofEnglish obviously knows what it’s talking about @mrianleslie The government is corrupt!? Who knew?I am watching Scent Of A Woman for the first time. Al Pacino appears to have researched his character by watching 1…
Retweeted by Maurice GranFor a start, the PM's.
Retweeted by Maurice Gran @SCynic1 Truth doesn’t matter to a botImagine writing this without the conclusion that if this happened it would *be a good thing* because we don't want…
Retweeted by Maurice Gran
@claremackint0sh They already have. They preferred indifferent to complacent. I was going to explain the difference but I couldn’t be arsed. @AaronMLB Jab-jabbering? Please! @claremackint0sh The Complacent Tablelamp of Klara’s Chocolate. I don’t think so. @supergutman Appalling. I await a chorus of outrage from the while breadth of @UKLabour @Otto_English 9.5% of self selecting respondents aren’t total cretins shock-horror @GailRenard Maybe all barristers need to wear their wigs all the time. @GRALWrites Boris Johnson (and two of his children) @MuseZack Good @nicolelampert Jeremy Corbyn was there with his mum
Nope. Still doesn’t make sense to see @PrivateEyeNews taking an interest.
Retweeted by Maurice GranWill it be a Kentish border or a border of Kent?
Retweeted by Maurice GranVirus spread down to non-compliers. Test failure down to selfish over-users. Brexit chaos will be fault of EU & unp…
Retweeted by Maurice Gran @PeterBerg261 @JamesMelville I agree it’s a conundrum but the arts make a massive contribution to the economy and a… @PeterBerg261 @JamesMelville To an extent. The money for the arts won’t go very far if we’re still closed next year.The government bailed out the banks after the financial crash in 2009. They should do the same with pubs, restauran…
Retweeted by Maurice GranPlease!!! from Thursday, weddings will be limited to one person, bride or groom. #covidbriefing
Retweeted by Maurice Gran @GRALWrites Maybe she’s been kidnapped and it’s a cry for help?
@Baddiel @caitlinmoran I thought one definition of art was that it is literally useless.Jo Cox’s husband, telling those who have been disingenuously using her murder to attack Starmer exactly where to st…
Retweeted by Maurice GranTypical freeloading commie.
Retweeted by Maurice GranAllison Pearson’s head is literally empty’s thick and there’s the excruciating stupidity and fawning adulation of Andrea Jenkyns. She’s so dense black…
Retweeted by Maurice Gran @Otto_English When is a political donation like a bribe?This has made me laugh far more than it should.
Retweeted by Maurice Gran @classic_film Breaking Away is a masterpiece. An Oscar winning screenplay I recall, and perhaps the best comedy about cycling. @Otto_English I met Charles Moore once. He seemed normal.
@jessearmstrong1 looks like you’re too busy for Twitter which can only be a good thing. Many congratulations anyway. Keep up the nasty work. @SpaJw He sounds nice @SpaJw How great it would be if Spurs had a tube station with yards of their ground. @ProfDaveAndress Not magical but childish and ignorant
@CuriousUkTelly Ah yes I remember it well. We had an original song every week and a great cast.
@ThatEricAlper Liszt. Or Lizst. Not sure which. @SarahIngles Writers should keep everything. You never know. @quantick People who want to be taken seriously shouldn’t have noms de tuites like PishPish Cat, methinks. @SpaJw How does a Fascist get a blue tick?
“So the man who played Doctor Who is a murderer in real life?” Omg #Gogglebox already making me laugh!
Retweeted by Maurice Gran @KayBurley Oh! A Crystals cover tweet!
Retweeted by Maurice GranWhy does Tucker Carlson always look like a dog trying to understand a magic trick?
Retweeted by Maurice Gran @RobbieRinder I’m disappointed. I was hoping that as precedent would be set. @Baddiel @DaneBaptweets No, just dignifiedNothing in Van Morrison's breezy, congenial, easy going outlook had prepared me for all this
Retweeted by Maurice Gran @mrdanwalker SexThe Explainer: How religion works👇
Retweeted by Maurice GranOr at least to save face @SCynic1 Sounds like a bit of a vexatious litigant @JonathanHaynes Most of the time it was scary background noise. The advantage of the Cold War was it was easy to comprehend. @urbanfox93 @davidhepworth That’s not as bad as having old scripts on 5.25 floppy discs and written in Wordstar.This is what Trump sounds like if you put a plum in his gob
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@BrexistentialC The Septic Pencil writes again @mpmwilko It’s Boris beating at least @TheBigCons
Retweeted by Maurice GranWatching #NewsatTen featuring Italy’s instant Covid testing process (well, inside half an hour). @TomLondon6 is 15. @leekern13 What if she’s bursting for a Tom Tit? @EmmaKennedy They’re full of perforated masks and four fingered gloves Imported by Torycrony PPE Plc.Had an accident that was your fault? You stupid twat.
Retweeted by Maurice GranCalves foot jelly @edmorrish How about We’re So Fucked?
Good lord, but David Tennant’s Denis Nilsen is terrifying.
Retweeted by Maurice Gran @Eddystone506 If they’d done that there might have been a Second World War!This is rather an unpleasant tale & I thank Graham for telling it. Please, please do NOT bombard Big Finish with o…
Retweeted by Maurice GranLiterally every scrap of data I have is backed up on iCloud and the important shit is on Dropbox as well. If a fil…
Retweeted by Maurice Gran @scrapegroat I see someone called Tom Fletcher managed to sneak into the bookshop @darrenrichman To put it another way - most Americans know fuckall about fuckall. @JulieOwenMoylan I’d marry himYou have excellent taste @Otto_English @joymorrissey The payroll vote going through their spineless contortions.
@MagicalOverload The New Statesman - it transcends space and time. @danielmaier Singing Pick Up The Faeces? @matthaig1 They live long just long enough for you to love them, then they die. @richardosman Skeats works for the older consumer. @richardosman Nor M&S @mikechamberlain The Tyrds. @Baddiel An outrage! Rob Cook looked a bit short for a copper too.Well done JLGB! This is recognition of all the fantastic work you have done in recent years as well as an acknowle…
Retweeted by Maurice GranAlan B’Stard lives.
Turning off Twitter until tmrw. Very rare I’m ashamed of the Conservative Party but I am tonight. The PM fiddling w…
Retweeted by Maurice Gran @ClearPlanningUK Before I block this allow me to fulminate about the redundant inverted commas. Grrrrr. @LabelFreeBrands This is really disgusting. Why must people keep saying y’all?A funerary supper? do you call this?
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Retweeted by Maurice Gran @soniasodha Lord Sumption - former Supreme Court judge @DAaronovitch @BBCr4today “Who are the Rolling Stones?”
Singing Hotel Catatonia of a sociopath. Anyone we know???
Retweeted by Maurice GranMy friend just texted me a pic of her newborn. This is officially the greatest baby pic anyone has ever sent me.
Retweeted by Maurice Gran