Sign in with Twitter


Humor Tailored for Men. Submit: IG:

222 Following   2,977,571 Followers   63,819 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/15/11

It's a start! all weekend. everyone's dad.'m basically a chef. thought of it like that... streaming you don't even have to wait until after dark to get your raunch on.You got better stories than these?#RIPKobe you should take some notes.
Those were the days! glassimus.Wait, are you guys doing this?Tag your girl. kind of choose your own adventure.That's showbiz baby was that?? Me: ...nothing. forget.'s like a super car wash... a clean AND a wax! got back and then some.Although I hate today’s hip-hop/rap music...let’s not forget where we came from What! Yeeahh! Okay! - Lil Jon was truly the year of the sandwich skirmish.A good amount of cleave lets 'em breathe.I am speed.
She's still holding onto that v-card?Next level WTF.More bumps than one.Thought I was the only one. more than one thing in common.The thirst is real.Pour me up! jokes + good boobs = good jokes.FACTS up like...'d win this easily. the only classrooms with air conditioning. Loved having classes in those things.'s one way to get a tip. times. now.Proof it's possible to be wearing something yet still seem very naked.Stay Classy. should go down in history. she got her point across."The Spice Melange"
Sports bras are the real MVP.Petty but I love it. users inching ever closer to the Darwin Awards.Truth.Every damn time. a step ahead on next month's Netflix n chill playlist.Story of my life. I pet your puppies?Nobody MOVE! disgusting. yep. LEVEL will MAKE YOU LOVE ME! it?Burn 'em up.Now that's a power move. good are you at picking up on the mating call voice change?That's a wrap.
Reality hits you hard.'s letting them release their kinkier side.Getting into white-hot territory.I'm not apologizing, those are my true feelings. painful.'s usually beer though. dogs have an Un'Build-a-Bear business going at my house.'s just as nippy as she was in Friends.#ClassicMeme up your day.Chihuahuas are 50% terror, 50% trembling.! judging bad grammar. all those dramatic cop shows aren't all that fictional.Happy hump day.Back the McFUCK up!
Bet they call him Professor Pu... ah never mind.I can feel the disappointment.! little bounce goes a long way.Cool with it though. does your state stand? Or should I say sit.I say tongues out rain or shine.Don't sleep on Hulu's willingness to go tits out.Hey her eyes are up there.I know I know, it ain't cool. BEST! KIND OF MONSTER!?!?!'t got time for those in 2020. a good Star Trek meme! wtf are you doing.How would you like to be the guy whose job it is to digitally erase genitals.*Dr. Dolittle has entered the chat* ON THEM COUNTRY ALBUMS with iPhones are the best.