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five-time emmy losing writer for television, video games, and comic books. stand-up comedian. no funeral. mikedruckerisdead @ gmail dot com

4,573 Following   184,414 Followers   57,438 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/4/08

Same but instead of sex it’s watching a video of EPCOT’s Kitchen Kabaret at 3 am @AlexontheMic I hate to be the one to have to tell you @ManMadeMoon Life size. Nice.and he’s still mad Capcom put shorts on Jill Valentine know everyone is struggling right now, but I promise that one day we will get through this awful period of people posting baking photos @GusLanzetta I appreciate it more than you knowOh I hope @MikeDrucker is happy because I wasted an hour doing this
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @mmurraypolitics Thank you, sir. This is certainly a both sides issue in which one side is wrong for making people… looks and sounds like the opening for a network drama about Tetris airing in 1991 @kibblesmith @AllieGoertz I forgot all about this @benschwartz_ I forgot about this!
Here's my latest for Vulture, outlining what it's like making a late-night show during a pandemic. (It's not easy.)…
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @APZonerunner Yessssssssssss god yesBeing American means seeing a video of an insane British woman claiming that the coronavirus is caused by 5G signal… @KyleOrl You’re a fake gamer @Remender Oculus Quest!
The tomorrow in this tweet is now today! This is happening in 10 minutes!, it is *okay* to not be productive while in isolation. And to find out how, please like and subscribe to my po… @tomtomorrow @EricaHayes87 Oculus Quest @EricaHayes87 It’s weird in VR but felt comforting because in a sociopath? @GrassrootsJill @People4Bernie @JordanUhl @democracynow @krystalball That’s really nice of you, but those other acc… spent 30 minutes visiting my childhood hometown using Google Maps in VR while walking in place so - uh ha ha - I think I’m doing okay @ParkerMolloy Stoller is the fucking master of saying dumb shit (“Trump people figured out coronavirus first”) or s… first guy who ever saw that "Ceci n'est pas une pipe" painting was probably like "lol holy shit magritte you're…
Retweeted by Mike DruckerHow every person still hanging out in groups outside think they look @dandrezner @KevinMKruse Well, they definitely got it at CPAC. @mrbrenthoover No, man. No. But I worked 45 minutes on this. No. Come on. No. Fuck. No. @malkatz Depends on the mood but honestly? Don’t always need it @gamespite @johntv and anything I’d pay top dollar for to keep out of Jeremy’s handsThe two things that isolation has taught me are that most of my career goals were weak surrogates for the close per… @EWErickson Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh @johntv I’ve done that for some old childhood stuff I had to get rid of. Intensely photographed it and donated it.Please listen to Satan
Retweeted by Mike Drucker
Tomorrow! 1:30 PM PST! It's the return of @_StreamOfBlood_ We continue the adventures of our criminal crew with ga…
Retweeted by Mike DruckerIf I don’t make it through this, please don’t have a Zoom tribute show in my honorjust saw someone on Facebook say “so we’re supposed to believe all these people are suddenly dying of coronavirus”…
Retweeted by Mike DruckerSomeone added the GameCube intro to my unemployment graph & it’s significantly better now.
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @itsa_talia YESToday we lost my cousin due to complications from Covid-19. She wasn’t elderly, she had no preexisting conditions,…
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @DewaynePerkins I’m so sorry for your loss. @HungryBartender Good times. Good times.Just remembered when the biggest controversy on Twitter was a youth pastor stealing people’s jokes @tommyjohnagin Hey thank you! I appreciate that!
@SheenaOMurray Still feels unsafe to do it, too @SheenaOMurray I’ve been going at 5, 6 am to try to get there before anyonecleveland news has officially lost their minds...
Retweeted by Mike DruckerSome Sanders demands for "phase 4" of coronavirus response: -- $2K/person payments *every month* - 100% universal;…
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @JeffLoveness I’m so jealous of this, which is the only true compliment in show business. @mariskreizman Thank you for thisPeople with a whole backyard and a pool are like, “It’s been a struggle but I’m just doing my best to survive isolation”HP Livecraft HP Laughcraft HP Lovecraft
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @SenatorLoeffler @robinsregional Hey, I know you’ve received a lot of backlash recently but I want to congratulate… @gamespite Samelol
Retweeted by Mike DruckerNo time like the present to start again There is nothing on this Earth like Giménez’s art. I’ve read through The Metabarons more than almost any grap… @triforcemeg You can get it digital and use an off-brand ring and leg strap:
“Since the beginning of time, Webster’s Dictionary has defined the coronavirus as a virus and when considering all…'m choosing to believe that drink next to Isabelle is a whiskey on the rocks to help her get through that bunny's… @eliyudin Half a dozen of one, six of anotherIt’s a business? Cool. Tax them.
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @MckKirk Do you have a third example because I haven’t done the first - you know it’s fine. Never mind. Both feel g… into @TBSNetwork @FullFrontalSamB now to catch my nationwide tv debut !
Retweeted by Mike DruckerI am RELIEVED to announce that my best bud @bryanyang is doing all right! He's up and complaining about food just a…
Retweeted by Mike Drucker
RIP to Adam Schlesinger who, in addition to many other great songs, wrote the greatest fictional track of all time.
Retweeted by Mike DruckerAnimal Crossing in March: “Hey, there! Want to build a town? We’re all friends here. Do what you want. The importan… @alex_navarro None of us know how much of a struggle it is to pay people after the release of a game his own compan… @alex_navarro $5 says not greatTip well or get out of my fucking life.
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @agentbizzle This is incredible @Danielleri Congrats!!! @kshipwhitecat @MattWalshBlog Thank you, sir. I also think that a giant number of deaths is okay if it’s only twice as larger as a… @neontaster That’s actually what he’s giving to employees now instead of bonusesusing this incredible stormy night wallpaper thanks to @leahbjackson 🌃 #animalcrossing #ACNH
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @garfep @Leahbjackson Holy shit @crecenteb It’s nice to have the outlet at least @crecenteb I’m okay. My resting heart rate is insane, but I’m lucky our whole staff still has a job @crecenteb Gotta make use of that NYC apartment space. The other side of that is my bed @crecenteb @bryanyang Holy shit. Feel better. You need anything? @joshgondelman Okay okay save your packets for the submission pile @aedison NO @TheThirstyWench We just paid 50,000,000 bells for a new IMAX theater to show a film about it @Jody_Houser So many. So many. @LiamBME He knows @TheThirstyWench I like this thought process and I’m going to work hard to incorporate itStringfish the moment it turns April @LiamBME What do I tell the other residents of my island? That I’m not good enough? Am I going to go to Katt and Cu… @lauraehall My museum is a fucking joke now @KurisuS It’s gone now since March is over. And I don’t like messing with the clock because it sorta takes the feel out for me @CarolineMoss Nooooooo @BerrakBiz @CarolineMoss Could always use another 300 bell fish @CarolineMoss You want some water roaches? Found them on a rock while digging up TWO HUNDRED CLAMS FOR BAIT SO I COULD CATCH THE STRINGFISH @WritingInBed Well I’m missing out on a stringfish @CarolineMoss PLENTY OF LOACH! ALWAYS LOTS OF FUCKING LOACH! @massoluk “Hey, man, so did you get that stringfish I’ve been looking for?” Me: “No. Fuck you. Here’s a bunch of b… @Abbykl1 Blocked @TonyAtamanuik You miss 100% of the fish you don’t fish - Wayne Gretzky