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current four-time emmy losing writer for television, video games, and comic books. stand-up comedian. thousand island dressing.

4,541 Following   175,660 Followers   55,433 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/4/08

@CaseyExplosion I liked the demo!
@LaFamHernandez No I need to @Zae51 So far so good. It’s about the same quality as the Nintendo ones - although I haven’t done any in depth chec… @rejectedjokes You can’t have all the duck things, Ben🎶hello darkness my old friend🎶 @garywhitta Whoa this sounds great!NEW YORK: In two weeks, "My Obituary Show" is back at @QEDAstoria with guest host @kathbarbadoro! with: Ismael L… on Halloween are like, “Anyone with a camera? Camera? Looking for a camera. I need everyone to take my phot… two-hour art game about simple tasks with melodramatic emotional weight is exactly my shit @shoemakermike @karencheee @sethmeyers This segment is so greatALADDIN: 🎶you ain’t never had a friend like me!🎶 THE LION KING: 🎶It’s the circle of life!🎶 THE LITTLE MERMAID: 🎶W… @robdelaney Belay that order @rhythmicalexile I wish that were true @pixelatedboat Damn @bransonreese Someone had to say itMore like Justin Tru-dont! good night everyone, have a good weekend
Retweeted by Mike DruckerThis isn't helping
Retweeted by Mike Drucker
@MattRogersTho I just want to discuss theme parks with you all the time now @MattNegrin @ronnychieng Totally @MattNegrin @ronnychieng Matt, i can genuinely get this running for you easy @pciurleo @TimRunsHisMouth @AOC Oh, man. You’re gonna be mad when you find out how all of language has evolved over… @EoinHiggins_ @cjane87 @benshapiro That’s not fair. Ben is always focused on who he thinks the biggest victim is in any scenario: Ben. @benshapiro Thank you, sir. If only mainstream news organizations like CNN were covering this, you wouldn’t have to… @brockwilbur Happy birthdayExactly one year ago, the internet collectively had the biggest nut of all time
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @sammynickalls *rustles kid’s hair, looks back to mom* I’ll text you sometime this weekWhy does this Pokémon look like it just walked out of your mom’s bedroom @eatingfood13 @OhNoSheTwitnt @clapifyoulikeme @_celia_bedelia_ You seem to be singling out a Jewish woman for criti… @OhNoSheTwitnt @eatingfood13 @_celia_bedelia_ They’re going to say you’re the actual bigot because they are mad at… @eatingfood13 @_celia_bedelia_ You’re right. Subconscious bias sounds like someone immediately jumping to my herita… @eatingfood13 @_celia_bedelia_ If they’re not making it about Judaism, you are. And like I said, it would be nice i… @eatingfood13 @_celia_bedelia_ Who are you even talking to? I organized for Bernie in 2016. I’ve never been a Harri… @eatingfood13 @_celia_bedelia_ Nobody is gaslighting you. And I’d love it if you didn’t use my heritage as an excus… @eatingfood13 @_celia_bedelia_ Hi, I also get angry and confused for no apparent reasoncongrats everyone we made the worst fucking thing @RealChrisCal @edenthecat We’re not all millionaires @RealChrisCal Wait I can get paid in shirts @gamespite *sitcom parent voice* Jeremyyyyy @TimRunsHisMouth @AOC Also “they” has been used as a neutral pronoun for hundreds of years, you big dummy. @TimRunsHisMouth @AOC I can help you out here, my man. Language is always being changed and redefined. Words, phras… can’t believe this needs to be said, but comedians should be allowed to make fun of anything except the time in s…
Beginning to think that our health insurance system might not be the best.
Retweeted by Mike DruckerWe’ll see @DanCrenshawTX Thank you for bravely saying this, sir. Few veterans ever come out in favor of hurting other veteran… laughing at the fire chief being like, "Folks, we just got a call and I know I've asked a lot of you in the past, but" @MikeDrucker A huge blow you say?
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @StevenEdeSouza SirYou had me at “massive semen explosion” @briangaar SAMEI wrote about getting into multiplayer games when you have no friends and it sort of spiraled into a cry for help yes @MckKirk Thank you!.@MikeDrucker's latest column takes on reviews of multiplayer games from a person who has no friends…
Retweeted by Mike DruckerThe colors of Sierra
Retweeted by Mike Drucker Ahhh, sorry I let 9/11 happen, I was on my lunch break. 18 years later here’s some clouds to make up for it
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @luisadieznuts Oh my fucking godDamn
Great but I bet when I open this box, hooks shoot out and tear my body apart. Fucking typical @joshgondelman You rascal! @joshgondelman TOO LATE, FUCKER @benmekler @joshgondelman Ben, I’ve got you on the money but Josh needs to bring it personally to LA @joshgondelman I will buy your book if you personally bring it to meGod lit himself on fire and then made a list of ten rules about how people can be canceled for eternity, so I am so… @seanoconnz @latewithlilly @Lilly Congrats, dude! Very excitedTONIGHT IS THE NIGHT! @latewithlilly premieres tonight on NBC at 1:35 am. It's rare for me to be this hyped about a…
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @hasanminhaj @patriotact Congrats! @GovMikeHuckabee Look, this fighting is ridiculous. Let’s come to a compromise: We ban whatever your son used to murder that dog. @dianelyssa @LibyaLiberty Also imagine being that guy and your weird roommate from like 20 years ago was like, “Hey… @LibyaLiberty @dianelyssa She’s still tweeting through it. She claims that being mean to Kavanaugh is what made her… absolutely love to see it
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @meganamram This is bullshit
@kobunheat You bought them, right? @wkamaubell @TelevisionAcad @CNNOriginals @theblacktux Yesssss
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @nsilverberg This is the absolute best cartoon @Racheldoesstuff Congrats!
@garfep Oh my fucking godJesus fucking Christ Jesus Christ fuck oh god Jesus fucking Christ wish comedians would stop hating each other and get back to what they should be doing: hating themselvesHalf of Pokémon are like, “This cuddly fellow just wants to nap and hug!” and the other half are like, “This ghost… are my top selling Liquor Store prints, hanging on walls from Van Nuys to New Zealand. I'm telling you this be…
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @BrianStack153 As. You. Should. Be.I’m not sure most Americans understand that this USPexit is bad news
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @pattymo That cupYou like cancel culture so much well I am canceling my subscription to your @jimtews You could also be in a band @jimtews I don’t believe you @red0herring wish I was as brave in all facets of my life as I am when a car thinks it’s gonna fucking turn before I cross and I’ve got the signalanyway comedy is greatYou finally talk about Kevin like you’ve been needing to parents when the restaurant is out of the one thing they ever order McDowell serving 12 years for sending her child to school in a better district and Felicity Huffman getting 1…
Retweeted by Mike Drucker
If you put "Triggered" over any stock photo of a smug man on a plain background it actually looks like a genuine ne…
Retweeted by Mike Drucker @hammlet82 It doesn’t have to be me or anyone I know. Comedies all have different styles. If you want more edgy / g… @astronomeara @MMaRsu Portal / Portal 2 had Erik Wolpaw (among others), who ran a VERY good video game comedy site.… @MckKirk I can’t imagine how many typos there are in pieces I send you @MckKirk It had typos and I’m too tired to type it again