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Mike O'Brien @MikeO13rien Astoria, Queens

Journalist turned content marketer. Creator of the greatest '90s playlist that's ever existed.

415 Following   933 Followers   4,300 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/12/12


Me calling Chili’s to make a dinner reservation for my bachelor party: https://t.co/TYEUw7eBrK
Retweeted by Mike O'Brien“Oh really, David? Okay, well you try being able to see in the dark bc of a new designer drug called Catseye and ha… https://t.co/ust8rzTub8 @mattsevits Alexis is by far the best Rose. This is the hill I will die on.
1/21
2020
@LeadChangeTrish Mayonnaise!
1/20
2020
I spraypainted one of Miami's Wynwood Walls with #AirbnbExperiences and have never felt more cool https://t.co/3TJ7xkYy52 @amayasays I will remember Heather B. narcing on Piggy sneaking smokes until the day I die.
1/19
2020
Explain my @ Every normal variation of Mike O'Brien was already taken. Shout out to all the John Smiths and Jessic… https://t.co/ncusm0bewyShout out to @MikeGasbara for being my ear to the ground at #CES2020 https://t.co/phihzvtKH8My sponcon parody was so on the nose that Insta thinks it's real and if Dunkin's legal team contacts me, I will die https://t.co/vC527G6yEr
1/10
2020
@AmericanAir @AmericanAir, an answer would be great @peggyorenstein I most certainly will!I will be thinking about this for the rest of my time on Earth https://t.co/NOnWOa927l @AmericanAir I have a flight Monday and just realized I never received a confirmation email. How can I get one?
1/9
2020
ur mom has an attitude problem https://t.co/TqUP5sA1gi
Retweeted by Mike O'BrienFor someone who isn't going to #NRF2020 or currently writing for anyone, I sure have a lot of people who would love… https://t.co/TKWaI2zZgr
1/8
2020
OMG! Watch our founder @gailfbecker try not to LOL reading Mean Tweets about cauliflower pizza. 😜 To all the haters… https://t.co/bXN4iW5qnF
Retweeted by Mike O'BrienElizabeth Warren on The View expertly pitches her wealth tax and explains how she'll pay for universal childcare, $… https://t.co/MQkOIxU1Sz
Retweeted by Mike O'Brien @Groupon https://t.co/QVUXVylaTs
1/7
2020
TFW you realize @Groupon thinks you are a mess https://t.co/xNjjoFpL1I
1/6
2020
Starting 2020 strong https://t.co/w7GJWqi7XF
1/3
2020
This is amazing as always, even though he didn't touch on how that one maniac does couples Halloween costumes with… https://t.co/1eyeO3n6YI @jtrain56 @BachelorABC @betchesluvthis The blurb about Sydney >>>It's 4, hands down, forever. No other seat is as effective at limiting interaction with other commuters. https://t.co/AI8dO4CujH @joshgondelman Shout out to anyone who was in the tri-state area during the early '90s: https://t.co/rw2dnmGHQJ
1/2
2020
@Be_ll_adonna https://t.co/ZoNnFhmezM @Be_ll_adonna Listing you as a reference for my hood pass, btw. I have seen Friday so many times and I also bathe. @Be_ll_adonna On behalf of my people: Ew.
1/1
2019
My 2020 New Year's resolution is to do the Mount Airy Lodge jingle at karaoke. @chiefmartec This commercial was on constant rotation in the tri-state area during the early '90s and I still know… https://t.co/xTKugIf4ZzSo nobody in the *White House* is having sensitive phone conversations that shouldn't be overheard? https://t.co/nIRyYU4Pgd
12/31
2019
@Be_ll_adonna https://t.co/c4eHodSkmC @Be_ll_adonna My moon is Pisces and according to my old coworker who did my horoscopes every morning, that means my… https://t.co/ZPXmbKYtf3This is what I think of every time I hear someone mention Sack Lunch Bunch. “Is it just a giant sack?” https://t.co/ayQYXX4teG
12/29
2019
The fact that every grocery store has someone standing by to troubleshoot self-checkout machines means AI probably… https://t.co/BGc7I8DuEr
12/28
2019
@thelaceylondon "TO THE WINDOOOOOOOW! DECK THE HAAAAALLLS!"
12/26
2019
@dhh When someone is like, “Rise and grind, I work around the clock to achieve my goals 💯” what I usually hear is,… https://t.co/naeaVG5qLzIt’s not about this totally worthless prize. It’s about knowing that our knowledge of Home Alone is far superior. https://t.co/IJOiJeOjm0
12/24
2019
@missmollymary Bird flu. So hot right now. https://t.co/bmoThVG1iP
12/23
2019
Tired: Asking what Peter McCallister does for a living Wired: Asking what *Uncle Rob* does for a living to be gut… https://t.co/mCkTllLNyL“Seriously, fuck you guys” -Tiffany & Co. seeing this wrapping paper for sale at the dollar store https://t.co/XG9hDRVN0U
12/22
2019
@mattsevits Marine life that hates the general public 💝 @Be_ll_adonna THAT FACE. The lady who took this pic was probably like, “Smile!” and the turtle is just like, yo, get off my dick, Diane.This afternoon, I decided I wanted to get a tattoo in honor of my soulmate, this turtle who couldn’t be more sick o… https://t.co/zHznkcLhINI hate the word "strategic" like poison, so this hit home. https://t.co/y6wEeGX3e6
12/21
2019
I keep seeing Instagram ads for @BellhopsMoving, where everyone is absolutely jacked. I guess it’s a good different… https://t.co/AiDEBadBj4I'm having a conversation about Southern food and thought everyone should know that if you leave Memphis and drive… https://t.co/LDV7F2HzciAnswering calls from unknown numbers like, "YOOO, WHAT IF IT'S @ewarren!? Ugh, nevermind, it's just Heather From Account Services."Actual picture of me after drinking 75 old fashioneds at a work event https://t.co/i9fAg7WcrR @AdamSinger This is wild. “What is Jaxtynn’s ROI?” @jtrain56 Having grown up in Sheephead Bay... agree
12/20
2019
Is there a reason Nancy Pelosi hasn’t changed her Twitter bio to “100% that bitch” or? @Jadeinnm I can’t, too busy impeaching Yellowstone National ParkMy job involves a lot of pretending to online shop and I’m pleased to announce that I have so much expensive shit i… https://t.co/1ZBCVD3ISY
12/19
2019
@bayoulejeune This is why so much of our generation isn't having kids. @melissablake Late '90s Real World was so good, "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!" @bayoulejeune Dude. I forgot about this nightmare. My school's pizza was also, at best, bootleg Elio's and I grew up in New York. @melissablake *checks article's legitimacy by making sure The Real World is mentioned because Hawaii was obviously… https://t.co/LO2pUfBc6TFantastic read by @peggyorenstein for anyone who has ever been a teenage boy https://t.co/4RsExSyUnmTFW you're such a tab hoarder that you can't even tell the Doc is already open so you open it again and then furiou… https://t.co/hL8kSe66zQ @Be_ll_adonna And then be all, "C'mon, I'm not a Republican in disguise, I voted for a *gay guy!*" @Be_ll_adonna I've always interpreted FC/SL as "I'm basically a Republican, except I don't hate gay people." @kristinemlowery Thank you! I’m just now in that post-Novocaine limbo period between “Oh, am I drooling?” and “OW S… https://t.co/AGE8SoBA0fNobody at the endodontist’s office told me I needed to eat ramen after a root canal but like, I can tell that’s what they meant.
12/18
2019
I've got it narrowed down to Katrina, Lauren and Lexi, re: "Who I'm most looking forward to seeing @jtrain56 destro… https://t.co/bUydND3hwO
12/17
2019
@joepawl Same
12/16
2019
“Ugh, why is this brand targeting me on Instagram but not sending me abandoned cart emails?!?!” is a thought I have… https://t.co/w16YjJGosE @Be_ll_adonna Are white girls complimenting you again? 🤣🤣🤣
12/15
2019
My 22yo niece just made me realize that I am “I would rather get murdered than go to SantaCon” years old.
12/14
2019
This #ImpeachmentVote represents the first time in 73 years that adults have told Donald Trump ‘no.’
Retweeted by Mike O'Brien @Be_ll_adonna TRUE https://t.co/AkD1L6OQkn @Be_ll_adonna If our generation all ends up being helicopter parents, I fully blame Kate McCallister’s negligent ass.
12/13
2019
@tomfgoodwin klarity, with a K and all lowercase.
12/11
2019
once went out on 5 dates with a recruiter and then stopped answering their texts just to show them how it feels
Retweeted by Mike O'Brien
12/10
2019
Hit me up if you want to join my class action lawsuit, re: missing paid-for gym classes due to MTA fuckery
12/9
2019
@thelaceylondon Oh, so it’s like that, huh?
12/8
2019
I’m going to donate this @cvspharmacy receipt to my company’s coat drive https://t.co/WCfOV1nCcg
12/7
2019
Steph Korey would make a great episode of my dream reality show, which chronicles *CUSTOMER OBSESSED* CEOs spending… https://t.co/ZpFFqEvEXi
12/6
2019
Me: Hi can I get an ice cream cone please McDonald’s worker: Are you in the right headspace to receive informatio… https://t.co/wyUtE49W4J
Retweeted by Mike O'Brien
12/5
2019
My 10yo niece is a smart kid, but she totally sucks at Hangman. I'm convinced that with unlimited entertainment opt… https://t.co/jOZMjWm09F
12/4
2019
European Kids in 1300s: I can’t wait to grow up Rats: https://t.co/ep8Zk5Q9tq
Retweeted by Mike O'Brien
12/3
2019
@eorlins The smoked salmon I buy on every single grocery trip
12/2
2019
This Thanksgiving, the @dunkindonuts in O’Hare is thankful for my flight delays because I have now been there three times.
11/28
2019
ICYMI: Romania is dope https://t.co/exrWXgmZY3 @MikeobMCM @mcmerchant See @askrepow? ALL THE TIME.I email myself reminders constantly, so you can see how @MikeobMCM from @mcmerchant's emails confuse me on a regul… https://t.co/wRWYCKPhcU @MikeobMCM @mcmerchant @askrepow See? ALL THE TIME.
11/21
2019
I don't want to dunk on the Northwestern J-students, in part because I think we need journalists now more than ever… https://t.co/kSOZYvlj6W
Retweeted by Mike O'Brien
11/12
2019
@thelaceylondon "Santa Claus... isn't... REAL?!"
11/7
2019
@Be_ll_adonna If this is re: Ritz Bits, then OBVIOUSLY I liked it!
11/1
2019
This sounds like Pence is getting ready to sidle into the presidency, which he probably is. But if Trump gets impea… https://t.co/XDDcJKI4Tj @OffBrandHeels Picking a lock is like riding a bike: They're both skills you need to escape the Atlanta Falcons' equipment room. @terezalitsa My other favorite technique is, when someone calls on you and you exit The Zone with no idea what's go… https://t.co/oug9bfCwBg @terezalitsa Have you... been spying on me while I attend meetings? @jtrain56 Office of the Cancellor
10/31
2019
It's great to e-meet you! Looping in everyone who's ever existed.horror movie where millennials manage to buy a house but it’s haunted by the ghosts of all the things millennials h… https://t.co/zrjtjpRqIl
Retweeted by Mike O'BrienAre there any studies about the likelihood of kids who knock over the Monopoly board when they start to lose voting… https://t.co/lIzwE3nDRC
10/30
2019
@susie_meister What about Rachel? She's out here spouting the same gross views, but at least Sean didn't make out with Puck.I'm grateful down to my toes for your support, @johnlegend! Looking forward to the day @chrissyteigen doesn't have… https://t.co/qIDIk6AEm2
Retweeted by Mike O'Brien
10/29
2019

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