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compost malone @mikeyil Philadelphia versus the World

he/him - Born in Philadelphia, lives on the internet. Accessiblity Product Manager. @a11yphl co-organizer. #a11y 🇵🇭

1,729 Following   5,882 Followers   103,694 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/23/07


@nikkiblackcat Do you ever tire of being so cute @meganissleepy We have one and honestly it's nasty to think that they're not ubiquitous in American culture.
8/11
2020
4.5yo: “What did the nut say to the other nut?” “What?” “I’m a cashew.” I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even know what a cashew is.Who here has learned about existential dread since I made this tweet? https://t.co/fPTbd51oT5 @shelliewass Right? I never not salt pasta water. @LRinaldiArt https://t.co/OPABIjK5xT @shelliewass Nope, I've thought about it but might be too acidic. I've heard of people using unsalted pasta water or rice rinse water. @MaryDanielsen @ericsmithrocks Don't forget the cookies in the VCR.when someone calls me Michaelangelo even though i've introduced myself as Mikey https://t.co/gbktHPdHB6
Retweeted by compost maloneI'm Lovin' It https://t.co/Tju74k2ytz @meganissleepy Yes there’s also that, 75% of people can’t be...in the top 10%.I am guessing this probably doesn't take into account being of a marginalized identity, an immigrant, or starting f… https://t.co/kOqBAAjjfMThis is awful. https://t.co/PTQxw4ot62Intense and porpoises @whyangelinawhy why angelina why @sbbaicker @ericsmithrocks HAHAHA. Thank you for defending my honor, Sarah.Plants are great but I am very lonely and feeling incomplete. @TamaraHala I need to learn for my daughter. I made her so mad bc her braids came out when we were playing (wrestli… https://t.co/Pj4uQ89Mvy @ChuckTingle https://t.co/3sJw2mwLId @AmyLeighP THAT is the best episodeMy ErgoChair2 finally arrived the other day. Took a few months to cave and but one, another month for it to arrive.… https://t.co/L42g1rM4Mi @NeilPBardhan Nice, I finally upgraded too. @cjm2791 Oh, only google, haha. @knittykitty Were you at the beachHonestly not sure if I have shirts at the dry cleaner's from six months ago.Having been firmly in plant-obsessed and house project pandemic mode for a while, I'm starting to contemplate elect… https://t.co/gyUFd6dNnC
8/10
2020
I still refuse to believe that voice comes out of someone who looks like Ed Sheeran.3 out of 3.5 leaves on perhaps my rarest plant (Scindapsus trebuii) are browning and my money is literally wilting… https://t.co/bRjLDiAjQqDon’t forget to vote for the reanimated corpse of Karl Marx this November. @shibuyadreams I am surprised that I have never heard of this one.Filled these pots with succulents I just had...around. Planters by Devona Tucker. https://t.co/2hLYCrcnyuhttps://t.co/QhMOGGb2XgNo one has pointed out the fact that my plant Instagram’s name is Terrence Cotta yet and frankly I’m disappointed.… https://t.co/xfRfbhlOTGTrying to figure out how to sneak into New Zealand to claim residency and hope the first people who catch me are ju… https://t.co/7uBKBx7UoJhttps://t.co/61jcvMQfx0Well, I mean, the “How?” part will certainly involve reclaimed capital from the ultra-rich when they’re all jailed… https://t.co/Y8Fpx8IDxfI don’t have a “How?” or “Who’s eligible?” answer yet but reparations for African-Americans should factor in all th… https://t.co/LS518NIoFlThis is internet millennial cultural appropriation. https://t.co/DN1GMiTWF4Happy birthday Gillian Anderson, please return my calls. https://t.co/BTmj9KeO3H @GoodjobTC Real name Marianne from Turnersville?DID YOU KNOW: Elsewhere in the world it's called, "Fruit by the Meter."Yesterday I blocked a woman with the name "Cookie" from the town Facebook group for hateful and racist comments. Bu… https://t.co/CemwiVKOyj @emricchini Like in the middle of a date?Flashback to when people were eating Tide pods and I'm like, "This is it, this is absolutely it. This is rock botto… https://t.co/3sywJrO6BjBeen dying to order my late night depression meal lately (Domino's) but I haven't been hungry or depressed enough.
8/9
2020
Fondly remembering the time I got into an argument with a guy on here who replied to a Star Trek fan account and to… https://t.co/r9MQLLaScTRelevant to my interests. https://t.co/bILjnN5Dqi"Mute him, ban him, block him." to the tune of Daft Punk's "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger."https://t.co/RZDwqjP7vQ https://t.co/qHGJJt3a2b @erikkroes Aside from that example, this happens pretty much every day. https://t.co/RZDwqjP7vQ https://t.co/qHGJJt3a2bLinkedIn is a racist hell hole. https://t.co/3szstSeJcM @BlueHairdDodo LinkedIn is a racist hell hole @meganissleepy Yeah my choices are pretty much the same. I’m in a toss up between Russian and Japanese. Maybe shoul… https://t.co/U7rr1ikv9ySpanish, Mandarin, Arabic, Russian, ASL https://t.co/L71vkPBp0b @meganissleepy Excellent choices @ericsmithrocks Hoor-oor? It’s clearly pronounced Hooor. Hooor movies. Hooor books. @SBinLondon 😍 @stephparker Speech to textMiyazaki does what Miyazaki wants. https://t.co/t9prldDr7p @accidental_left https://t.co/sDJIz59Q5S @selineabanto WOWA barber in front of his shop here in town just asked where I get my hair cut and that I should stop in sometime be… https://t.co/CMg9YI5ZeIThe rise of eSports. I should be 20 years younger. https://t.co/aynKD7RWK5 @meetRanaFayez Mozz too soft to be a wheel @BrookeArynn thank you @JGBasile You might not be able to until your 30s if at all.
8/8
2020
@TweetsVanZandt noWent FB live at Lowe’s to the Philly Plant Exhange, a group with over 14k people because I heard they got a new shi… https://t.co/xEoGUu0eQD @randomforest40 I'm a dedicated plant dadHad nothing to do with mobile web. I'm confused.Checking out Cardi B's new music video for Wireless Application Protocol. @kseidgames congrats man, i'm proud of youBold to assume influencers only came about with Instagram. Before Gen Z and IG there were Millennials who tweet too… https://t.co/MaR0iwrjwL @atn1988 @m_e_i_s_e_l ALL RANGERS MATTER @spazzaferro Nope it's true. @BridgetCReed Ally up with a very recent alumni like how I did when I virtually met @reza12aIi and you'll realize y… https://t.co/nsvoCIkUz6I've spent too much of my life trying to figure out how we ended up with Bill from William, Bob from Robert, Peggy from Margaret, and so on. @beautifullynerd @ssscorvus Soul because I’d definitely get my money’s worth with the kids. Black Widow was only ev… https://t.co/ikjoorVqbCThe rest of the U. S. is finding out what Philly already knew. https://t.co/gZcazc69G1 @OneHotProcessor @TatianaTMac Yucca is also edible?? This is too much. @iMJawnWayne oh i totally tried to buy the palm tree one but ended up accidentally buying cuttings to grow a cassava plant lol @TatianaTMac You know, I should have thought about that. I've had yuca fries many times. But I guess I also didn't… https://t.co/LxnbabdTlCWanna hear something funny? If you buy yuca, thinking it's a yucca plant, you'll quickly find out that "yuca" with… https://t.co/CWbWFa4TCsi am just amazed at how this timeline keeps getting darker https://t.co/FQvmGFqTyZ @meganissleepy SameI figured I'd at least acknowledge it publicly because it's something that's been giving me a had time near daily.I don't really want to talk about it much in a public forum but I've been having a really difficult time these past… https://t.co/GxAcDjUCsyI walked into the town plant store today and didn't even buy anything. Please clap. I will however note that I was… https://t.co/JcirzkRBfiI know on macOS the window close button is in the top left and on Windows it's in the top right. However, haven't w… https://t.co/7hEGENhnfW @rebthebarber Leave me alone mom @redditships The age difference https://t.co/V9R4Cu29Uv @singerde $15 worth of fresh mozz. One layer sandwiched between two others. Final answer.My birthday is in September and you can't go wrong with: Cacti, any kind Succulents, any but particularly Crassula,… https://t.co/hlHSAHdi7v @boba_sweat Hahaha yeah I do omg.
8/7
2020
“Latinos from Europe and the tip of South America.” Definitely not the kind of person I’d waste my time explaining… https://t.co/ZRdVB76NyiWhat the heck is happening here? https://t.co/f95M53OKYWGonna limit my plant collecting and just focus on every kind of pothos, philodendron, aglaonema, snake plant, spide… https://t.co/CM5KL7N3bgI wasn't ready to have this talk yet but this morning our 4, nearly 5yo asked us what the internet was. @ericsmithrocks Honestly how dare you @taylxbayl https://t.co/TqOOH6K8UL @KrillTusk Same but with forks
8/6
2020

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