Sign in with Twitter

Username:

software tester helping scientists cure what ales yah at THE NIH. love my job, my family, friends, love strangers! I kneel for rights!

1,201 Following   615 Followers   8,638 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/19/10


@YNB Oooooh! Thank you! ❤“yOuRe OuT oF mY wEdDiNg” Why do people act like being in their wedding is such a privilege? It’s a fucking chore… https://t.co/qPVIvxbMkg
Retweeted by Jimble Kimble @djsbaby17 @VicJisawesome @ashleeey2000 @toddchrisley Lmao I thought you meant Todd. @YNB What is a tweet book? Also, miss you and community on my tv @VicJisawesome @djsbaby17 @ashleeey2000 @toddchrisley Lol, im not even sure what he did. @Cornell_CWHL i read this story about a woman trying to make paintball pellets full of anti tick pesticide but what… https://t.co/wdJvDRtov6 @jimmykimmel @ConanOBrien you can use my friends joke "Hot pocket heiress got sentenced to prison time for her hand… https://t.co/oJosQ8raBr @VicJisawesome @djsbaby17 @ashleeey2000 @toddchrisley So medical is legal, thats what I meant. Still legal.
2/26
2020
@MunkMania @OH_GAWD_OF_FUNK Now that I'm at this age, i dont feel so sad for the rockers that die at 27 @RickAaron Michelob ultra @JohnLegere You need to join the Instant Pot Community on facebook. If you want it, I'll find it for ya @djsbaby17 @ashleeey2000 @toddchrisley And weed's legal in Ohio....which is where cleveland is (just in case for some people) @bridgetdshaw @toddchrisley It's CBD, just so you don't go to Krogers or CVS and ask where the weed oil is @MekaKimmerstein @DArkMEATHOOK @7eleven I was thinking same thing lol. But also super sad, this area used to be so safe#NewProfilePic https://t.co/QwUaNW8sDl
2/23
2020
@Rosen Or toilet emoji, where does all this poop go? Especially the shit storm! @Leafer1 @thehill The swampland is protected, but I'll take it if it's ocean front @ewarren https://t.co/4ixwDYf1wZHow are book stores going out of business when everyone and their mom has a book coming out 🤔? @nytimeshttps://t.co/0R6ZQlYEZl
2/19
2020
🙌 https://t.co/sXfkAmJnAWIf you live outside Denver and can take a new pitbull into your life, that could be effected by the ban, please wri… https://t.co/TbbndnwKLK @MayorHancock I understand you want to protect the people of Denver, so don't punish the pits, help get new homes w… https://t.co/vE41HaHVt4 @briantylercohen @BarackObama Maybe his head will explode🤞 @BarackObama Someone said "look unemployment is so low rn" to which I responded "yeah, who do you think paved that… https://t.co/pE6qe66Rz6As a father of a 2 year old, this is really really really hard to watch..... but the exact reason I know CPR and wi… https://t.co/Vsvh5tGIen
Retweeted by Jimble Kimble
2/18
2020
@MMFlint help! What can we do for @SenSanders and the corruption saying Buttegieg won Iowa before its too late....again?
2/10
2020
When I order food to go, my tip better be going to the kitchen staff! Those guys work harder than anyone FOH #WageWorkers
2/9
2020
2020 one of these chicks is the next bachelorette, i don't watch that show I'm judging on looks alone. Who tf is ap… https://t.co/dqW1gMVyT3
2/7
2020
@lauren_ash happy birthday! Thanks for being so funny! Never change
2/5
2020
@billburr When i say ill be ready in 5 minutes to my husband, I mean 5 NFL minutes. @BetoORourke Who cares, Kentucky is not actually inhabited. Can they roll through the US capitol @eastcoast_elite @BetoORourke 🤣🤣🏆 @Rosen Everybody Hates On Eli, a dramedy @KristinChristy @bronk @cwotd Got a win for the Eagles and Chiefs now! Was actually thinking of how happy this woul… https://t.co/Q6qKJoyTBH @bronk @KristinChristy @cwotd Benjy this is the greatest thing you've done in your career! You should be proud. Ple… https://t.co/3nGqd8t2dc @papasbasement @Pornhub just explodedhttps://t.co/VwdnPsZ2mbYessss i love an end zone celebration dance! @Chiefs #TheNewFunBunch https://t.co/D1r9yuE8JlWhen I say i'll be ready in 5 minutes, I mean 5 @NFL minutes @SuperBowl @Chiefs winning the #SuperBowl is gonna be the closest thing to the @Redskins winning the Super Bowl in our lifetime #TruthHurts
2/3
2020
@JohnLegere @TMobile Now @YuckyTom How did you just learn that? Do you youths ever google sh!t?
2/2
2020
@cwotd @KristinChristy it totally makes sense why Richard is a Eagles fan, his wife is a huge Eagles fan and he has… https://t.co/nfBoiKIQ9iJUST FINISHED MY LAST CHEMOTHERAPY TREATMENT. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTED ME ON THIS JOURNEY!!!!!! GOD IS… https://t.co/9Is2tbEXgQ
Retweeted by Jimble Kimble @forthepeople @JohnMorganESQ Can we sue the iguanas if they scare or fall on us? @eonlineTV does anyone proofread this garbage, it is garbage but maybe you can show some professionalism and check… https://t.co/8Lw1GYp9t4
1/26
2020
@ColinJost You always make me laugh so much on Weekend Update, I never thought about it. But now that you brought i… https://t.co/9NseLfgdyx
1/24
2020
@itskeyon Because british folks I guess really need the gossip and she is taking it all away from them. Now they just have Kate and WillHow did @nbcsnl miss an opportunity to do a skit on Prince Harry and Megan's first day in Canada after #Megxit
1/21
2020
@drjoelshulkin @andy Cohen's first attempt at the #RealHousewives franchise "Real Housewives of Polynesia" #RHOPDecided to watch this @amazon product video, even though i dont have cats this looked really cool. They really dont… https://t.co/4Fhu6ufn2s
1/14
2020
@Susie92812896 @LindaAma @MeghanMcCain Its like the popular thing to do now. Celebs needed a new platform. Thank go… https://t.co/oNSM4k5kAl @BenNoHoes This is why my husband thinks women just want to have sex all the timeWas so saddened to hear of Buck Henry’s passing yesterday. I remember the joy I felt every morning when I was on th… https://t.co/si5CQy8xhO
Retweeted by Jimble Kimble
1/11
2020
At the end of a crazy @rockhall night in 2013 where @rushtheband & @PublicEnemyFTP were inducted. It was just mysel… https://t.co/tijnjE5KpK
Retweeted by Jimble Kimble
1/10
2020
@aveda can i put these in my diffuser? https://t.co/4cG6InEnK4
1/8
2020
As a Ukrainian that lived through Chernobyl it kind of pisses me off that there is not one Ukrainian in the cast. D… https://t.co/NgkYKZ9jRm
1/7
2020
@mrdanwalker can you somehow share an amazon for Mr. Terrence so I can send him presents every christmas? So he wil… https://t.co/f7W8wkbBZb
1/3
2019
@HurricaneZara Your manager will see you know for your exit interview
12/30
2019
@aveda please bring back the discontinued candles!!! I cant remember if it was euphoric, lavandou or inspiritu, but… https://t.co/ojnfdCK0YI
12/29
2019
Every town's Jewish Community Center, Jewish Federation or Jewish Community Alliance should let you know where the… https://t.co/W4WW5H8Fo8 @BravoTV @Andy next year for Hanukkah, Chanukah, Hanukah, can you please do some spoof "Real Jewish Housewives of A… https://t.co/bEZmHilzG9 @HurricaneZara 🤣🤣🤣 boys r ridiculous. This is so funny
12/25
2019
@jimmykimmel just opened our new favorite book! https://t.co/pVPX7jTl0m
12/24
2019
And also, when you call and email customer support @FedEx they basically dont care and dont reply to emails. Be mor… https://t.co/TceaaGFpIP @Kehlani @_____annoying The MSG got you addictedOnly @FedEx will tell you that you get guaranteed delivery on Saturday, than at 6 pm tell you, "youre not important… https://t.co/hWrJs7ZvmW#imgonnatellmykids that #TheHanukahSong is the song you sing on chanukah, after you light the candles, every night… https://t.co/gfe5FUrfBH
12/22
2019
@braunwyn love your sandels on the boat trip in key west, who makes them? Theyre gold strappy, with studs @hulu_support Thank you, but so complicated 😥
12/21
2019
This dude always be stuntin' in @Gap how freaking cute are the little ears on this onesie, I cant even https://t.co/Uojn4Jv9Qb
12/17
2019
To @salgovernale and his consiperacy theory, which I almost believed. @sternshow "Congress set to ban tobacco sales… https://t.co/lIN8kdUKaa @guybranum Holy crap, people will really argue about anything! That was beautiful tribute Guy! Thank you for sharin… https://t.co/WMmPN9iT2X @canopyroadcafe i love your guy's food but please stop using styrofoam 🙏🏻 charge for paper to go containers, ill pa… https://t.co/TbcmAS0Qvz
12/16
2019
@ShepRose Thanks, now im just bawling my eyes out. @disneyplus @hulu i just want to add live tv so I can watch @KellyRipa 😥 why won't you let me 😥 why is the world ke… https://t.co/louWGyKGa0It's a point I've made since my very first campaign: Nobody in this country got rich on their own. They relied on i… https://t.co/SDxVa5Yrag
Retweeted by Jimble Kimble
12/9
2019
@amazon #cybermondaydeals pay $20 more for @PhoneSoap UV smartphone sanitizer! Wow, cant pass up that bargain. https://t.co/kL2s68XDZx
11/30
2019
Hey @bublywater fix your grapefruit cans! The 8 pack at walmart doesnt open, i have to stab the top open. Not that… https://t.co/wFkBeO2i5b
11/6
2019
@hooliganLA Just joined the fam, already getting humiliated
11/1
2019
@sternshow #IBelieve @brenthatley that girl's story changed so much
10/31
2019
@whoisgreggarcia Shut your whore mouth. I still have "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" stuck in my head, but at least its a little more seasonal
10/30
2019
@DonCheadle's british accent in Ocean's Eleven should have won an Academy Award? Is that a category, it should be!… https://t.co/FhgjFNTIZc
10/27
2019
@granthpaulsen Id come to his tailgate!Put it on a t-shirt #TheBusinessSet "I've been called every name in the book and my favorite one is Mommy" 😍 #swoonhttps://t.co/OQrAXbfkJI
10/21
2019
@SandyKnow1 @people Obviously Sandy you don't know anyone, because you troll hate on everyone! Trying chilling, it'll do you some good.All Apps have a purpose, @Gradient just set the bar higher than all the others. @jimmykimmel #mattdamon if I were M… https://t.co/J1mFPM143m
10/18
2019
@people Im really sorry about their divorce, but I just found out the "Scnozberries" kid from Super Troopers was ma… https://t.co/axoeb7gQGN
10/17
2019
@karaswisher @candyfight @katzish @brooke 🤣 good yantif to you. Need to watch this movie now
10/9
2019
Hints from Heloise was the original @Google #GoogleThatBeing an adult is scrolling through house for sale pictures and after photo 27 of 32, saying to yourself, "enough o… https://t.co/ctF3sJKENr
10/6
2019
@Enfamil yo where's my order shipping info? Order confirmed at 1230 on last wed. And my baby is about to run out of… https://t.co/PgWBOyu0Fs
9/23
2019
@Enfamil can you please send my order already, y'all confirmed it over 24 hours ago. Why does it take so long to send out? @papasbasement @CokieRoberts Well twitter just told me the massage therapist that accused Kevin Spacey of sexual ha… https://t.co/GLzECl8Do6 @papasbasement @CokieRoberts Your mom is adorable!
9/19
2019
@Uber_Support You mean what country I purchase it for? Im not in Russia @Uber_Support Can i use that link for my team member in Moscow? @UberEats and uber eats moscow, @Grubhub and @DoorDash how do I buy gift cards for my employees?With all those wigs and kids running around this made me think this may have happened at your house @Kimzolciakhttps://t.co/R5MXYS6AHf
9/17
2019
Made large purchase @VictoriasSecret and while checking out, I noticed a video reel behind the registers, of models… https://t.co/wjQoSigMjQ
9/15
2019

0