Sign in with Twitter

Username:

Punk-ass Book Jockey, bad cinema enthusiast, Technicolor summer dream. Delightful but crass. Black Lives Matter. She/Her/Hers. Header art by @WolfSkullJack

394 Following   45 Followers   610 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/12/20


@seananmcguire Ah, yes, the Rehoming Hour™.
11/26
2020
@StckedLibrarian I do have quite a knack for sing-narrating my chores and my actions when I play video games, yes. 🎶My bank account: Mom, please. I'm hungry and it's Thanksgiving 😭HR, last week: Rejoice, plebs! In the spirit of Thanksgiving, we're paying you earlier than usual next week! HR, t… https://t.co/xQCfsxVmA3 @StckedLibrarian Guilty AGAIN ☠️
11/25
2020
@BennyKenobi Oh, do. That part wasn't exaggerated at all. Mariachi only adds to the mood. 🎺🎶🎉 @BennyKenobi It's an only slightly exaggerated account of this morning's nonsense. 😂And when the old man finally stormed off, the Youth Desk played Mariachi music quite pettily.And the old man paced in front of the library and loudly resented that he, a motherfucking tax payer, was locked ou… https://t.co/UGrn973g4tAnd the signage said, "Curbside only," among other pertinent details. But the old man only had enough literacy for… https://t.co/eL15JxPGKlOne Tuesday morning, one such impatient and unkind old man approached the library, his horrible heart set on obtain… https://t.co/1JfgqMgiI3The public lamented this closure, despite having mostly lived through a similar closure just earlier that very same… https://t.co/p6A8jHHGwUOnce upon a plague year, when the plague had spread disparagingly across the land, the library closed its doors to… https://t.co/pskyURRl2GDing dong, that is wrong. I'd watch that shit with popcorn. Twice, even, if it turns into a Big Dramatic Production… https://t.co/KjnTU03IULForgive me for being a broken record... I really miss movie theaters and making the stupid, juvenile decision to h… https://t.co/lER32DciRK @NoodleRama YESSSSS @peculiarityshop Do you have any more of these adorable axes? I'd love to commission a special one with some labradorite, pleeeeease. 💙 @StckedLibrarian Virgo, guilty. ☠️
11/24
2020
@netflix, please. Please make more killer space klownery. P L E A S E. https://t.co/IzHvL1aA5Y @UrsulaV Please tell His Longness that I love him. :)A bottle washes up on shore. Inside is a promise you once made. The glass is darkly lit. Like rain lacquered asphal… https://t.co/clkw7iK6MI
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥you’re gonna like the way you look, you fuckin bitch https://t.co/s33Ft0Sclm
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥 @AnUncivilPhD 🔥🎉☠️❤️💔It will cost you $0 to RT my work. https://t.co/5DUUllRAJ9
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥 @joelansdale Ted Cruz is a disease.https://t.co/z7FCiZlcg9 https://t.co/3GLtIyRr64
11/23
2020
me choosing female characters in every video game https://t.co/iq7j3XRN2k
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥 @StckedLibrarian -I- certainly think it's funny. Management won't let me be the one to make the "THE LIBRARY IS CLO… https://t.co/1Hz6IjlOQH"The Thing," a movie about a group of people who don't even really like each other stuck together in a single, snow… https://t.co/VjZ0wjtTxk
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥 @madsferal What's that? You need a to-scale cardboard cutout of yourself for Christmas? And maybe also a soundboard… https://t.co/KqYLf6LKvQ @StckedLibrarian Trapping patrons who come in five minutes 'til closing time in the basement and hunting them for s… https://t.co/MkaLjl0RooAmericans celebrating Thanksgiving by spreading disease is actually an incredibly accurate way to honor the holiday.
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥My love language is a freshly-baked croissant.
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥 @paraVestibulum Ohh, that can be so tough! Congrats on your baby steps - that's more luck than I've ever had in that regard. 🎉 @paraVestibulum Thoroughly weeding our graphic novels and ordering better selections to fill collection holes.
11/22
2020
Library Quote of the Day: "We can't all have fancy nibs."But what if instead of concluding my lunch break by going to back to work, I just drove into the horizon, never to… https://t.co/JwYvMvHdscThe Boston Globe front page. https://t.co/hClaUB9mAC
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥 @lis_grievances Malevolent glowworm. @u0zachan Please tell your beautiful parents that I love them. ❤️The face // The favorite Pokemon (Art by @Koolaid_Girl23! 💜) https://t.co/BBZY5f5wwr https://t.co/QlU49xxgRO @ComicsintheGA Tell them I love them.Idk why the government thinks it’s a big deal to pay us to not work. We pay them to not work all the time
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥 @EdwardLorn "Meatloaf was talking about words" is the best sentence I've encountered today. 💯
11/21
2020
@Dominic__Noble Kill them. @GailSimone You know what I really didn't need to read with own two eyes? The phrase "Giuliani cranial slurry." ☠️Wow, tonight's sinus headache really came out of fucking nowhere...unlike Trump losing Georgia for the 489th time. 🙃Hallmark should have one Christmas movie a year that suddenly ends in a horrific bloodbath. Just one, but you don't know WHICH one.
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥
11/20
2020
@HauntedMeg I recommend him to my patrons as much as I can. https://t.co/uXizYMHu4F
11/19
2020
@madsferal It me....Nevermind. There is no stopping me. I just taped two pieces of scrap paper together to make a longer bit of scr… https://t.co/UF4D6kEWVZSomeone stop me. My handwriting is rapidly deteriorating into a comically illegible scrawl. Someone stop me or I… https://t.co/h3sRfYXX8vBoss happily announces that we have a new project: Book Bundles. She sends an email with the link to Harris Count… https://t.co/sODJKjiQXGJust spent the last two ish hours filming a Christmas skit in our toasty boardroom. What have you been up to today? @NoodleRama I MEAN I GUESS I'LL WAIT A WEEK TO HANG OUT WITH YOUR DULCET VOICE AGAIN It'll be a Thanksgiving mira… https://t.co/6FEKpll8Bo"Aww, but Mattie," you say, "There's always OTHER cult docuseries' to watch with Jess." I mean YEAH, but...the del… https://t.co/dzWcduNhClThat feeling when you're about to go to sleep but then suddenly realize you're all out of cult docuseries to watch… https://t.co/K0sKh6X1NDQuote of the Night (year?) - "Stop doing weird shit." @TheGodDamnDM WORLD OF HORROR Old school rogue-like that's equal parts Lovecraft and Junji Ito. It won't break the… https://t.co/14wwdTHgtX
11/18
2020
@DrunkLibPodcast Yardstick.FYI: reading levels are bullshit.
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥There's no pain like when one of your piercings snags. ☠️ @Jinx1981 I have never been more jealous in my entire liiiiiiiiife. 🤩To be fair, black and sparkly is pretty distinctive...but not enough to find her The One Book her heart desires.… https://t.co/q5zHcUNRSHA patron calls the library. "I'm looking for this book I read," she starts, "I really liked it, and the cover is b… https://t.co/x8Y3WJV3lzA black-clad stranger glides up to the reference desk. "Excuse me. Does this library have on its shelves a copy of… https://t.co/BeWB0YLUrC
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥 @belvedia TROOOOOOGDOOOOOOOORRR"Nip loves his mustard." - Jesstaurant, aka @NoodleRama, who is the best person to watch cult documentaries with.Remember to scream at the moon tonight! It's not a holiday or anything, it just feels right.
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥Someone in my Norwegian class didn't know the word for cowboys so called them 'American horse pirates' and I've bee… https://t.co/TY4ODi7L2a
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥
11/17
2020
I then tell him how curbside works, and what he needs to do, and that the service begins at 10 a.m. and not earlier… https://t.co/MHGYXQM6ZDHe expects this all to be pulled and ready to go soon, but no rush, "'cause I haven't even left home yet." I tell… https://t.co/nmpOw5SQiPThen we ask for movies, four random-ass movies, and all the while he's assuring me he's not trying to argue with me… https://t.co/u1WmiMSaJwThe entire time, he will not let me get a word in edgewise. Every time I do manage to ask him a question, he wait… https://t.co/zNLUGyRTYcHe tells me his kids' teacher has given him marching orders to get books for them. Any books for them. These kids n… https://t.co/FDrFPXILveThe guy on the other end of the line is calling me from either that one supremely fucked up subway tunnel in Fallou… https://t.co/hDYbRvjDNOMy phone rings.A patron calls the library. Gets circ. From my desk, I can hear Coworker B of circ struggling with this call. "Sir… https://t.co/oEpm8a2mLBDay. Made. ⚡🐢 https://t.co/M1Rp09rRMxSomeone sent this to me on TikTok and I am delighted. https://t.co/JcEipE7HLA
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥 @peculiarityshop I'm in love with this piece, funyun dust and all. 💙 Do y'all happen to offer any natural alternati… https://t.co/D5aeHnAjs4 @Dominic__Noble Hello stranger on the internet. Please tell Sir Terry that I love him. :)
11/16
2020
@StckedLibrarian Hurt by Johnny Cash, amirite? @peripateticmeg Car selfies, y'know? https://t.co/IAseR6cEdK @OhMyMithrandir "For Gondor!!!" Most frequently, but every now and again a "taking the hobbits to Isengard" is necessary, too.This dog is both a good dog and a bad dog at the same time. https://t.co/Fxpv8c9JpP
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥 @ksonney @UrsulaV Tell Shaw I love them. ❤️
11/15
2020
thinking again about how we have lost so many things this year while going to extraordinary lengths to preserve work and work alone
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥 @PNWWonderWoman I'm great at copy editing and bar trivia.Without downloading any new images, where are you mentally? https://t.co/edLgL5VPLR https://t.co/ojdUMLrpAQ @Kariodude It's because their hiring qualifications are 1) Do you go ham for the Orange Idiot? and 2) Did you flunk out of basic math? @EricVBailey Shadow Hearts Shadow Hearts Shadow Hearts https://t.co/IiWfXzp4vW(And then later, my arms died.)Trainer Bailey: Okay, tonight we're gonna start with 45 seconds of--Ohhhh no you're gonna die! Me: TB: TB: My wa… https://t.co/53SsSjPyFr
11/14
2020
Library twitter, why is the answer to any concern always "More Signage!" No one reads the 10 gersquillion signs we already have. 🙃 @IlhanMN And a disease. ☠️Look at her in her jumper🥺 https://t.co/guabaJxxy5
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥
11/13
2020
Wish that I could get away with responding to frivolous messages/emails with "Hey thanks for the update but I don't… https://t.co/2GLMqtKDhDRL Stine gets all the love but today on his birthday let's remember that Christopher Pike gave us ancient Egyptian… https://t.co/sIoWb4T1aK
Retweeted by Mattie Mayhem🔥 @Kariodude My mom once texted me to tell me one of my cousins had had a kid and forwarded me the photo. My cousin h… https://t.co/X5uLSrBPIW
11/12
2020

0