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QA Lead Tester @ Rockstar Lincoln. Professional weenie. My opinions are my own and not of R*. He/him

635 Following   729 Followers   51,475 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/6/09


#PokemonHOME I'll cut you a deal. If we have already paid for our Bank for the year, can we transfer some (Not 6000… https://t.co/IetDpE5oe3
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠Minor downside to pluffing through Toast of London is I’m going to spend the next week or so putting slightly too m… https://t.co/hDjtLSRjpTI'm offering a 6 month mentorship to someone pursuing a career in games PR or Marketing! 🇬🇧 UK based, preferably o… https://t.co/A3xs1aWTyc
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠
1/28
2020
@AngryCinnabun WHY ISN'T THIS THE DEFAULTSome say I’ll never recover from that
1/27
2020
Boi-oi-oiiiiiii https://t.co/5MdXVuOye0 @lucyofrivia that heatsink fan is a beaut
1/26
2020
I can take down most things with ~relative~ ease. Cept’ for these horrid meat goblinsGoing back to Witcher 3 is fun, but words cannot emphasise how much Ghouls and Alghouls fuck me up every 👏 single 👏 time 👏 @iistalrii Started it again and I have to madly dash to skip it every time else I’ll lose what few marbles I have left🗹 Hungry 🗹 Terrified 🗹 Clutching your babes to your breast
1/23
2020
@emilyslapper Hahahaha who?
1/22
2020
@AngryCinnabun "you don't have scurvy" is a terrible insult. Does the gator have an automatic rifle as well, and li… https://t.co/RrV9QZYi8N @AngryCinnabun So you've finally been banished to where you belongI'm looking to commission some art work (logo and some general imagery) for a non-profit social event for people of… https://t.co/rXPkAfxw0U
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠 @emilyslapper you explain how they just /open/, buster
1/20
2020
@RobynVinter Absolutely cannot believe they canned it after that 10 robot rumble.I'm looking for people to speak to on the current state of game developer unionization. Anyone here work in that area?
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠
1/19
2020
@ghostbiggie https://t.co/Kp0uxi4QBk @ghostbiggie Yeah! https://t.co/6KUlMp3zsToh fuck they found me https://t.co/7m5ZPWsPwe
1/17
2020
If Cyberpunk gets delayed I’m gonna go into cryosleep.
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠 @MckKirk SeeyaOh it’s fire emblem @skeltoro Congrats!
1/16
2020
Small dev? Had a game commissioned? If you had a demo and needed funding to finish the game, and it hadn't been pic… https://t.co/zj00PsB0a0
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠
1/15
2020
There’s some QA, German & Korean Localisation, Admin Assistant, Runner, and Full Stack .NET dev roles open in R* Li… https://t.co/tRJL0z1NBULooking forward to when E3 finally dies and TGA mysteriously moves to the 2nd weekend in June.
1/14
2020
@Laura_Allitt5 What a game
1/12
2020
@MckKirk Ann Frank House, although don't plan to do anything immediately afterwards
1/11
2020
oh my god, the sad lizard pokemon turns into lee harvey oswald https://t.co/GAq65h74em
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠I absolutely love Gmax VenusaurYES LADS
1/9
2020
Anybody know of any articles/videos by POC about representation in Witcher Netflix series vs the games?When I die throw me to the acid-pissing jellyfish dickheadsCovering myself in wee to prevent harm should be a core mechanic to every game.Wouldn't be surprised to come across a flask of piss.Big fan of having to make a beeline for a lake of blood when I'm on fire/doused in acid.Yeah right pal, like I'm not going to blow up the thing that blows up.I absolutely fucking suck at Noita, which absolutely has nothing to do with the fact I intentionally set each level… https://t.co/cUTE1YaMdQ
1/8
2020
@PayneKiller75 Thanks Sean! @umbranrealness no-one is safe.Goodbye Jordan Garland Senior Games Tester, hello Jordan Garland QA Lead Tester.
1/7
2020
@dorkusmalorkus_ I love them they're horribleJoJo Rabbit was ace and it boggles my mind that its Metacritic score is just a shade above Rise of Skywalker. Peter… https://t.co/CndJpluXjS
1/6
2020
@pinchy_jpg for I sec I thought you got that tat as a new year's treat, finished the second it ticked over to midnight @MckKirk Give in entirely and join us nightfolk. I’ve felt that way for the last 5 1/2 years. J O I N U S
1/4
2020
Johnstone you fucking shitemareThat singing baby advert is fucking gross, get that thing out of my sightSpent all of last night on a Jackbox/Nippon Marathon marathon. A grand time with grand pals. https://t.co/JrOLHJLLis
1/1
2019
@MckKirk @samwrite Can confirm
12/31
2019
The train bit in The Wrong Trousers is better than every Star Wars film combined, don’t @ mecursed foot ball https://t.co/uJ636iP9DD https://t.co/1fz5G04rUt @pinchy_jpg I did not know crows could do that @AlexisTrust I know right? Gives a nice welcome structure that tricked me into doing 73 squats.Got myself a load of smart lighting and despite not having kids I’ve transcended into peak dull dad with a hobby. I’ll I need now is a shed
12/29
2019
📯📯📯 MY HUSBAND BUILT ME A SIMPSONS COMPUTER 📯📯📯 It’s called The Dud (aka Principal Skinner Box) and you can choose… https://t.co/zrel698His
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠
12/27
2019
She’s fucking beautiful and I’d kill all of you for her https://t.co/eZnHQKKBO1I don’t know how this dog is this photogenic https://t.co/28q75KcJ41 @BruellaDeville saw your Witcher post come up on my Facebook feed. Internet is wild
12/26
2019
Honestly felt like I just got namedroppedGO ON SHAUN ‘AV HIM @sketchrobin WhipplinWallace and Gromit is Yorkshire Studio Ghibli and that’s just fine @hansmollman Him and baby yoda in a fist fighthttps://t.co/SmEsmYNKUB
12/25
2019
My Dad finishes every Alexa command with “please” and it’s the cutest thing
12/24
2019
@davescook Holy shit I love it @lucyofrivia Papa GerryTop 5 anime food 5: No Face's Feast - Spirited Away 4: Tonkatsu - Yuri on Ice 3: Ramen - Flavours of Youth 2: Howl… https://t.co/pEEfI8lgWB
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠
12/23
2019
Got got by on hold music, you utter bastards @EE #Whammageddon @umbranrealness Good lordWhen does Henry Cavill get in the bath?
12/21
2019
Babu Frik is my new dad @charmada big diotoir energy https://t.co/RqBVEtXk8c
12/20
2019
Fuck off JK you horrible TERFMaya Forstater did not lose her job because she campaigned against the GRA. She did not lose her job because she be… https://t.co/AeuFoaG8d1
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠
12/19
2019
If you're keen to peek behind the Cinematic curtain of Rockstar Games, I highly recommend checking out Dermot Baili… https://t.co/3wtsyQyX1U
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠
12/18
2019
@Cockwaddle How are they? Other than enormous @charmada my poliwhirl's gonna absolutely deck him, sorry @tha_rami The square one is the super new, /even rarer/ version of a shiny, so get you.
12/17
2019
@uk_ie why even bothertbf it was that News of the World/phone-hacking fella who I only now realise got put in prison shortly after I fucked off Loaded.Cannot emphasise enough just how much of a banger 4AEM is.Still can't get over the time my Loaded editor not only changed a 4.5* Ni No Kuni review of mine to a 4.5* Aliens;… https://t.co/TXdAxXsdjy
12/16
2019
"cultural conservation" is such a vile, indefensible concept. Take your colourful, sociological-sounding language a… https://t.co/uxQOdTtcrEImagining witnessing the outcome of this dreadful election and thinking Bl*e Labour is the fucking answer. Get to utter and complete fuck. @DaftLimmy bring back the Fandans @blue_labour ew noYou'd think that a 23 year old getting elected to parliament and then immediately giving away most of her salary to… https://t.co/5psjj8nIKK
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠
12/14
2019
@thwphipps @ghostbiggie you prescient son of a bitch @zoegsams Smart. You're smart now.Avoid #foodbankapp https://t.co/kOAw0TIO5N https://t.co/sb5megXktl
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠 @belum_cari What the fuck imagine being that evilEmbark on the newest Frontier Pursuit and become a black-market bootlegger in Red Dead Online: Moonshiners.… https://t.co/O9sgo3BSpm
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠
12/13
2019
Yes the Exit polls suck. After this general election the world goes on and people less fortunate than myself will c… https://t.co/xmSk5xqFoP
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠I’m off to Scotland fuck this dreadful noiseYoweeif anyone in ncl still hasn't voted but wants to and cant because getting to the polling station is a pure chore h… https://t.co/nSIfJBm437
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠
12/12
2019
On a scale of 1 to Having to Deny Committing Electoral Crimes on Behalf of the Incumbent Party as a National Broadc… https://t.co/hWjHNeP7kQ
Retweeted by Jordan Garland 🤠
12/11
2019

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