Sign in with Twitter


DB @Mr_Friend_Zone In the middle of the US

A now unattached guy restarting his journey late in life. I RT a lot.English is my only lang. #BLM #WearAMask

17,129 Following   23,045 Followers   471,555 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/3/09

Why’d I block you? Either you’re a racist and don’t realize it. Or you’re a racist and you do realize it.
Retweeted by DBAfter this is over, I’m having people over for a BBQ. All the people.
Retweeted by DBYeah it’s snowing again but it’s gonna be 40 American degrees today so I’m already declaring Tuesday a win. Have a…
Retweeted by DBYou run into an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. You run into assholes all day long, you’re the asshole.
Retweeted by DBPurely by chance I needed to call a lovely man I worked with 15 years ago. We got all caught up, laughing and refe…
Retweeted by DBPeople who don’t start to read your email until they are on the phone with you and then proceed to read your email…
Retweeted by DBCan someone please tell me what makes Lucky Charms so 'magically delicious'? Do they include hallucinogenic mushrooms?
Retweeted by DBCan someone whip up a nice omelet for me? Thanks in advance....
Retweeted by DBYou sure that one is ours? He's awfully small.... 💕 Smile, it's Wednesday!!
Retweeted by DBI am a woman of my words....
Retweeted by DBDental appointment tomorrow. Ugh. Here's hoping the dentist doesn't look like this.....
Retweeted by DBWhat's up with the butter my Canadian friends? Buttergate: The hard truth behind a change in the texture of some Canadian butter
Retweeted by DBA beautiful California day!!!!!!
Retweeted by DBIs it just me or are people just overly sensitive and don’t know when you’re telling a joke or you’re being sarcast…
Retweeted by DBI love children !I love animals! I miss working with senior citizens!!! Everyone else is really getting on my nerv…
Retweeted by DBI literally have no idea what that tweet means ~ me reading tweets
Retweeted by DBever meet someone and you just know you’re meant to take on the fucking world together
Retweeted by DBA lot of deliciousness is contained in round things, pies, cakes, pizza, Reese's, me.
Retweeted by DBThank god VHS tapes are obsolete.. The "be kind and rewind" slogan sucked and I never did it anyway...
Retweeted by DBCounselor: welcome to the daddy issues support group. Find a chair and we’ll get started in a few minutes, I just n…
Retweeted by DBI'm thinking a bad day for jr. is a good day for everyone else.
Retweeted by DBI'm at the "what's the point of meaningful relationships" phase of my divorce
Retweeted by DBWHEEL OF DOOM
Retweeted by DBAt some point in history there was an explosion and someone was asked what it sounded like and some jackass said it…
Retweeted by DBAs a woman who watched Trump destroy other women and almost get them killed with mean tweets, Lisa Murkowski should…
Retweeted by DBFlirt with me so that we can end up in same mental hospital.
Retweeted by DBIf you accidentally fart in a room full of people, do you automatically start looking around to see who did it?
Retweeted by DBwhispering your name like you can hear me.
Retweeted by DBI appreciate you. So much more than you know. Certainly more than I've told you.
Retweeted by DBA group of weather forecasters are called stormtroopers.
Retweeted by DBIt's so nice out today I do not want to go back to 30 degree temps PLEASE
Retweeted by DB13 came out of his room and asked if I wanted to watch a movie on Netflix with him ...and he wasn't kidding w/ him so much😭😍
Retweeted by DBYou own every failure but you also own every victory!
Retweeted by DBTito''s what for dinner
Retweeted by DBI turned 50 and all of a sudden had the urge to hang 6 bird feeders and watch the bird's come this what…
Retweeted by DBI almost spit out my coffee when Hawley said in an interview today he did not know what Qanon was.
Retweeted by DBI'm still writing for you after all this time.
Retweeted by DBi’ll compete when vacuuming becomes an Olympic sport
Retweeted by DBTwitter is proof that you don't need to meet someone to care about them...
Retweeted by DBBreaking via CNN: A close ally of House Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene took part in the Capitol attack — undercu…
Retweeted by DBShe believed she could , so she did. She ate that whole pizza....
Retweeted by DBMaybe I’m just different, but if President Biden told me to attack the Capitol, I wouldn’t attack the Capitol. I’d…
Retweeted by DB“We’ll figure it out together” is my favorite love language
Retweeted by DBWhen I say, "I don't know how to do that," what you should be hearing is "I am in no way going to do that."
Retweeted by DBGoing through Great Aunt Sarah's papers we discovered she'd cracked time travel in the '50s, but only ever made one…
Retweeted by DBHS @GerryConnolly puts @Jim_Jordan in his punkass place! “I didn’t vote to overturn an election. And I will not b…
Retweeted by DBLife has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.
Retweeted by DBtoday is a good day to tell the weirdos in your life that you love them
Retweeted by DBAfter 25 years of marriage and 3 kids, I can honestly say that I am still in love with Johnny Depp.
Retweeted by DBTrain wrecks actually stop and watch me, if you want to know how things are going.
Retweeted by DB😂
Retweeted by DBDoes this Ace of Base tramp stamp make me look insane or nah?
Retweeted by DBSometimes I think Life is simple, and I just make it hard by over thinking it.
Retweeted by DBHamster detective: Officer if you would check his cheek pocket I believe you will find the murder weapon. Officer…
Retweeted by DBI realized today that I have 10 different corkscrews conveniently located throughout the house, but my unopened bot…
Retweeted by DBSaid Chick-fil-A fries are terrible & IPAs taste like soap & now I have angry Priuses circling my cul-de-sac blaring NPR.
Retweeted by DBSnowy winter night.
Retweeted by DBI'd be a very nice person if not for other people.
Retweeted by DBI've reached that age where I tell people my age and they don't say "oh really? You look way younger" and it's just…
Retweeted by DB @laurenboebert Using campaign funds to pay off liens due to nonpayment UI isn't a mileage expense.
Retweeted by DBI’m calm. I’m zen. I’m zen. I SAID I’M ZEN. Okay, I’M FIERY ZEN THEN
Retweeted by DBHuge difference between sad songs and songs that make you cry.
Retweeted by DBI peel a layer. And find another. It feels endless. Why do I bother. I find new strength. And use it all up again.…
Retweeted by DBThey say ask and you shall receive but asking is neither a necessary nor a sufficient condition for receiving.
Retweeted by DBKeep your parallel reality. I want our intersecting fantasy.
Retweeted by DBWhen you seek attention, please think about why it's hiding.
Retweeted by DBLove was my moment of reckoning. Loss my moment of truth.
Retweeted by DBIf you want beef you gotta get a cow and some feed and eventually a butcher. It's work to have beefs.
Retweeted by DBGOALS
Retweeted by DBI can see it! 🤩😍
Retweeted by DBNERDING
Retweeted by DBIf you don’t have anything nice to say, could you enunciate everything loud and clear?
Retweeted by DBSometimes, you have to be your own superhero and other times the villain.
Retweeted by DBPeople’s brains on drugs don’t sizzle in a frying pan like they used to.
Retweeted by DBTime for a makeover at the most reputable gas station bathroom.
Retweeted by DBThis search history isn't going to clear itself.
Retweeted by DBWhen I ask for directions, please use words like Starbucks.
Retweeted by DB
Reflection of the past year is a broken mirror.
Retweeted by DBAlmost daily I think of you. Of what was. What wasn't and what should have been. I take heart knowing that someday…
Retweeted by DBYou can’t help toxic people because they will just pull you to their level and pollute your peace.
Retweeted by DBMe: Say that again? 9: Babies come from the egg and whatever that is, the squirm, I guess. Me: Yep, about sums it up. Good talk.
Retweeted by DBSo...bacon seems to be tonight's topic. Whats your best story? Mine is coming across a cashier when I was buying 4…
Retweeted by DBI want to just burn my clothes, shut my eyes and get my old body back, just not the rest of it.
Retweeted by DBI volunteer at a food bank there is this guy he really never talks . He works his ass off lifting heavy boxes !!!…
Retweeted by DBThere is nothing that cannot be improved with cake
Retweeted by DBNothing beats getting new books in the mail 💜💙
Retweeted by DBThose who say ‘I love you' will be the ones who harm you the most.
Retweeted by DBmy kid’s doctor kit includes a stethoscope, an otoscope, a syringe, and like 9 dolphins
Retweeted by DBFor those of you who confuse a semicolon with a colon: I hope you burn in hell
Retweeted by DBLovely mood for all.🐯🐾☀️
Retweeted by DBHello friends. 👋
Retweeted by DBUm. Did anybody else get the vaccine and have extreme horniness as a side effect??
Retweeted by DBThere are people you stand next to because they are warm like sunshine
Retweeted by DB“Airfares so low, you’ll have a stroke.”
Retweeted by DBNo flex but my protips usually violate twitter rules.
Retweeted by DBI’m just here to lure some poor dumbass into my DMs so I can bore him to death for the rest of his life. Wyd?
Retweeted by DBTrue fact: When you're Canadian, Canada makes you delete your Twitter account if you're mean Bye guys it was nice knowing you 🥺
Retweeted by DBWho put the alphabet in alphabetical order?
Retweeted by DB