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host-creator-producer, @fuckboisoflit podcast • she/her/hers • possessor of a fine cackle • mystery novelist, rep’d by @annetibbets @ D4EO

1,094 Following   4,932 Followers   91,141 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/25/08

so that's nice so great really a nice cherry on top of this yeari see everyone is going in a tizzy over MANK and ignoring the domestic abuse allegations against its lead actor and… @AmandaLovesBB8 i feel this way about a lot of things. i loved science, but didn't want to be a scientist. why coul… @AnneTibbets uh oh, i'm fox mulder. @WhiskeyInSpace i had that when i visited a few years ago! it is really fucking good.also, my mom (whose grandfather was a baker from actual germany) just declared my christmas stollen the best she's… husband's business partner just delivered us 36 bottles of Shiner Holiday Cheer, the greatest beer on earth @MissLiberty i had to shave my chow chow's tail once and it was so unnerving. it was like a little stumpy rat tail. so upsetting. @beaminthecity honestly, not knowing wtf i had has been driving me crazy since lockdown started in february. i just…"it was fine, because it was funny." honest to god, this country is an entire nation of shitposters and it's erode… she’s named george because i will love her and squeeze her, etc etcshe would literally give her life for my husband. love getting promo emails with subjects like “stock up on george’s favorites!” when george is my orange cat and t… there dozens of reply “jokes” about their plastic surgery because dudes 5lb bucket of GORP this point i’m shameless and i’m asking you point blank for help, hahaand if you wanted to ding ding the attention of my extremely good podcast to any writers you may know, that’d be swellAnyway, if anyone is writing a piece on #Feminist #Podcasts or #BestOf2020 lists for publications, may I pitch to you @FuckboisOfLitlast year on my birthday we put the hairy cow hat on Margo and she was SO HAPPY this is gonna be my first birthda… x-files in 1994: artificial intelligence will grow sentient and murder people actual AI in 2020: racist camera… @Dire_Unicorn my husband gave me a cut in july-ish but it’s a nightmare again already @cake_purralta a woman i followed on twitter said her husband’s office had two cats who the landlord wouldn’t let s… absolutely unhinged desire for a haircut is undoing me right nownancy had an *aesthetic* that i appreciate @MsEmilyEdwards
Retweeted by emily edwards @WhiskeyInSpace a guy i dated in college introduced me to me bungle and that was the only good thing he didSOLID choice @MsEmilyEdwards Ohhhhh J-Pop songs for sure: At least I don't *think* they're supposed to be funny
Retweeted by emily edwardswhat the fuck
I think a lot of ABBA songs apply here; FERNANDO is Grade A weird shitWhat's the weirdest song you've ever heard that *was not written to be funny*? YouTube links appreciatedworn tf out does nothing to harm the cat, just, like, tackles him and stuff and the dog has a 10lb weight advantageokay, we've gotten the point that the boy cat has to extricate himself from the dog attention because he's gotta le… @Trosenfelt this makes me SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY!the tin foil on the counter is a vain attempt to train my cats to stay the f*** off of themwelp. it’s out of the oven. not perfect, but looks edible. @looks_last it’s like he came out of a lab. but really he came out of a pit bull. @looks_last yeah, he’s like Animated Animal cute, it’s not fair. @looks_last his ears just do this now is was not.the puppy assures me that though the LAST four times he whimpered at the door in the past 15 minutes were just so h…! Now that we're wrapping up S2, what changes would you like to see in S3 of the show?
Retweeted by emily edwardsand now i get to introduce you to my favorite instagram, ANIMALS AND SYNTHESIZERS: mean, i'm just weirded out that a congressional rep has a merch shop? like... mine doesn't. @clapifyoulikeme it's actually excruciatingly easy to do the right thing when your business is successful. just don't be an asshole. @clapifyoulikeme let me tell ya, i am someone who'd have to pay those taxes and i still want to pay them.stollen dough has gained its fruit, nuts, and marzipan. it's shaped (begrudgingly) and now rising in the sun on the… @Magic_Moondream i just love marzipan in every format i can get it.we're at a 9/11 death count equivalent every day and 44% of total deaths of the civil war, which lasted four years… @frazbelina lookit that tall drink o' water right there.this is just an absolutely, flat-out perfect joke. dough is rising, fruits have been marinated in brandy for 12 hours, sugar cookies are awaiting royal icing.… @zemthings THEY DO!! @T_FisherKing WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW.It would be so fucking mind-boggling for a kid in 2020 to want a Hess Truck for Christmas @livyrants ohhh noooooooanyway i’ve had the Kellerman’s song from DIRTY DANCING in my head for a week @knitsandflowers i miss it terribly! @Magic_Moondream schizophrenic abstract painter! so close.also my neighbor kept threatening to murder me soi loved living in ojai but JEEEEEZUS an i happy i don’t live there for the pandemic @KiraJW how do you tell the familyi need you to know that when i lived in ojai a farm down the road had a sign for their roadside citrus stand that s… @lelielle @anne_theriault this is one of my favorite fun facts. pigs would just snorf them down as fast as they cou… @anne_theriault i mean, realistically it’s Tim Horton @stewart_ck that puppy is adorable BUT YOU DO NOT NEED A PUPPY. they are *so much more work* than i ever thought po…
i can't have kids because i'm already out of patience for this was just so kind of my puppy to wait until there were two minutes left in the oven on my last tray of cookies to… @hellafoxi yaaaay! it feels like winning the lotto.Just as a head's up, has Lysol wipes you can order to your house, if you're like us and hav… one was a lot of fun to record and also a wonderful surprise that the play was really f*ing good. @libraryhoodlum they hate it! BUT THEY WON'T GO IN EITHER OF THE **TWO ROOMS** IN THE **WHOLE HOUSE** THAT THE PUPPY CAN'T GET INTO! @clapifyoulikeme not those damn pot drugs. @rambleginger I didn't want to ask "so is that dude paying for it?" but we all KNEW it was a dude. @vellkoo not very long at all! i used this but had to use regular water instead of rosewater as i didn't have any. @vellkoo i'm so excited. i've never made one from scratch before. @rambleginger ... is said parent gonna pay for that?okay. by the grace of god, the sugar cookie dough is in the fridge now, too.there is also no quick and efficient way to explain to a cat that if he doesn't want to be humped by the puppy, he… the puppy's kennel into the kitchen so i can get some work done and he climbed into it... and started howli… of home-made marzipan in the fridge, getting ready to be a stollen.frankly, one should say we’re all born with the same human rights but some people’s human rights are stolen the moment they’re it turns out, Human Rights are not a finite resource. there are more than enough to go around, i promise. @emlfc the politest word i can use for T*RFs is flummoxed but mostly it’s an internal monologue of desperate shriek… @emlfc like is it just selfishness of always wanting to be the center of the conversation or is it bigotry or is it… @ksonney i personally prefer the teal ones but i want to find one on ebay now @tracikim i mean, they were in HOTELS! they were FANCY! @emlfc that... is a lot. just awful but also her poor mother. @emlfc true. crime. makeup. tutorial. ?coming out as trans is not just risky for a career, it’s dangerous and if your heart doesn’t immediately open with… lesbians endangered? do i need to donate to a fund or something? protect your habitat?i know i’m a cishet woman but if your first reaction to someone announcing they’re trans is to mourn the loss of a… im gonna make a fucking gingerbread house and no one can stop me. @LTBcomedy YES over 30 remembers this exact lamp. There were millions of them. Where did they go? Are they still in anyone’… @ApplePodcasts You better believe it's @LTBComedy's IT'S ALWAYS HALLOWEEN! because HOW DELIGHTFUL IS THAT?! @LTBcomedy OMG OMG OMG @LTBcomedy THANK YOU!!! @CromartyHeather THANK YOU SO MUCH!!