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potato salad

943 Following   1,607 Followers   15,300 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/31/11


@dkali21 @chrissyteigen WoahI think the reason I don’t go out very much is because it leaves less room for me to feel bad about something I sai… https://t.co/YMd3awLoFY
Retweeted by quinoa cowboy
1/26
2020
Now I can never go outside ever againI opened my front door to grab my package and there was a maintenance guy doing something like 2 ft away and I got… https://t.co/LFPKHIv4T5
1/20
2020
@trash__angel Truly the most loyal ones out therehttps://t.co/zXlF0Wwbo3You can always count on the Strangers of LinkedIn™️ to wish u a happy birthday @paigefitzgerald @marijaknezev21 I had 2 episodes I needed to catch up on it’s the best @marijaknezev21 Crime junkie!!!!!
1/19
2020
When I clean my apartment I can have a little bit of podcast, as a treat
1/18
2020
https://t.co/R5ZPRS6Db3
Retweeted by quinoa cowboyyou wake up. you’re still a lizard sunning on a red rock. it was all a dream. the concept of selling “feet pics”… https://t.co/fEaMeOHycm
Retweeted by quinoa cowboy
1/16
2020
I ordered a veggie bowl from chipotle online and I didn’t select fajita vegetables as an add on because I thought t… https://t.co/NtuVgqoOEa
1/15
2020
No one: Bowling alley screens when you get a strike: https://t.co/XNEKbp17uV
Retweeted by quinoa cowboy
1/14
2020
@jacksonsachse Aw man :( @mvdimorgvn the term is men use is “ugly”
Retweeted by quinoa cowboyDo u ever look in the mirror too long and are like hmm yes I sure am pretty funky lookingThe only time I’ve ever flown first class was when I was 7 years old and got my appendix taken out on vacation and… https://t.co/PHMHkLJijJ
1/9
2020
Me in Trader Joe’s when I forget my reusable shopping bags https://t.co/Ardc2mUSVt
Retweeted by quinoa cowboyone of my favourite pastimes is complaining about being lonely despite making no attempt to foster any real close r… https://t.co/rK5HiRNidu
Retweeted by quinoa cowboyI am a tortured soulI live WALKING distance from an ice cream parlor and bakery where everything is made from SCRATCH and sheer STRENGT… https://t.co/X7cLcPywnH
1/8
2020
I woke up with crank that by Soulja boy stuck in my head @lolocoles LmaoIn 2002 I was nominated for a Golden Globe. In 2020, I'm just sitting here staring in the mirror at my balding head.
Retweeted by quinoa cowboy @andrewsalomonn :)I spent 6 hours making homemade fruit leather in the oven and I just took it out of the oven and it is stuck to the… https://t.co/zxOmKNAG7Lsorry to absolutely everyone but i'm losing my mind https://t.co/Drt5o6v0Iz
Retweeted by quinoa cowboy
1/6
2020
I just did a DIY face mask thing with turmeric in it and I took it off and my face is bright yellow and it looks li… https://t.co/CPKIDDah9p
1/5
2020
wait wtf should i go to coachella this year https://t.co/pJe5JcUj93
Retweeted by quinoa cowboy
1/4
2019
I have no recollection of this but apparently when I was like 7 I took every single battery I could find from every… https://t.co/uO94X6it4Z
12/31
2019
This is how I feel 99% of the time idk how to describe the feeling other than this video https://t.co/EjGIodwIU2
12/30
2019
Did you get a weighted blanket for Christmas? I’m doing an experiment. Conspiracy will follow. Thx
12/28
2019
@MatthewMConners @jenmorg97 That’s a good point @jkfleming1 Thank you Kenneth! Scheduling my surgery now. Bless your soulThis is a legit question because I have an irrational fear that if I ever have a lazy eye everyone will just be nice and not tell meDo people with lazy eyes know they have a lazy eye or when they look in the mirror does it look normal to them @jenmorg97 Started ughI stared wearing earplugs to bed a few months ago and it has significantly improved my quality of life and every night I sleep like a bebe
12/20
2019
@CampaignRPoz im deleting my account @CampaignRPoz SeE u NeXT yeARI wish thanksgiving and Christmas were on opposite ends of the calendar I wanna just throw the whole year away afte… https://t.co/VxKDmTXepGI just got a scam call and I answered and asked who it was and they were like “it’s Justin from *company*” and I wa… https://t.co/qB0B0fAwIgAll I want to do when it’s winter is sit and eat warm artisan bread. That is it
12/19
2019
@kirstenshiner @jenmorg97
12/14
2019
Today is a great day for an existential crisis. Happy holidays!
12/12
2019
I’m rearranging things in my apartment and I moved something but didn’t like how it looked there and my mind went *Ctrl+Z*
12/7
2019
@CrockPotCares I messaged you thank you Crock Pot!
12/5
2019
watching The Crown don’t text
12/3
2019
@marijaknezev21 A new option thank u for your contribution!
12/1
2019
@N_Choke Toast with a hole in it and u crack an egg in the middle!!!!Being a cheese snob is very expensive! :/Fellow brunch enthusiasts, is it:My car won’t start so I am stranded waiting for a jump but honestly it’s really nice out so I just have all of my d… https://t.co/kTephmWBav
11/30
2019
I’m done buying suede shoes. Like lmk what the point is. I wear them once and they get scuffed and it’s over. I’m fed up. I’m done.
11/27
2019
@marijaknezev21 I’m wheezing @paigefitzgerald @Lestfest17 @Shelmarslaugh I’ll feed you soup when ur in AZ @Lestfest17 @Shelmarslaugh Comin your way @Shelmarslaugh Well do not do it or u will face a near death experience. And not quite I was making ribollita soup… https://t.co/6jA1JYKqTh @Shelmarslaugh Knew I would hear from you on this 😂 RIP @PPVinest I can’t tell if this is supposed to be insulting or funny but if it’s supposed to be funny then I def wil… https://t.co/3UjsQX0CgDUpdate for everyone (I know you were all very worried) I switched to a big pot and my ribollita turned out great. T… https://t.co/B1WPeIC5q2 @sambutler111 Honestly that would make sense lol and u know it. Santa plz help @sambutler111 I SWEAR I’m not stupid look I did my research!!!!!!! https://t.co/NVRoGdMY6e @j3rahhh @jenmorg97 @CrockPotCares I’m sad and now I don’t have a crock pot :(Hey everyone PSA you can’t put a crock pot on the stove even if you google it just to make sure and crock pot says… https://t.co/K4l5HI9ADU
11/21
2019
@seinfeld_joey Happy for you
11/20
2019
I opt out of getting the flu shot every year because I am terrified of needles and every year I act shocked and sur… https://t.co/QgfmUZNdOH
11/18
2019
I think my toaster is possessed by a toast demon because sometimes I’ll put a piece of toast in on the same setting… https://t.co/b1ah3ZailF
11/13
2019
Me: :( The speakers in the produce aisle that lets you know they are about to spray the fruits and vegetables: *thunder sound* Me: :)
Retweeted by quinoa cowboyI hate this stupid state it’s still getting to 80 degrees in November stupid stupid APS stupid air conditioning just BE COLD
11/12
2019
When I'm bored I go around putting these stickers on paper towel dispensers https://t.co/WUwHDPm1nS
Retweeted by quinoa cowboyI got chopshop for dinner tonight and it reminded me how much I dislike chopshopIf I have had my blinker on to switch lanes for u to see... and need to get off at the next turn... do not honk at… https://t.co/DHILPEa4gU
11/6
2019
Should I delete this so they can’t see it and Venmo them $29 and then report back with findings of my investigationDon’t tell them I tweeted this or else I will get blocked and I will hold you personally accountable!I follow this account where this person claims to be the real Amanda Bynes but doesn’t outright say it because she’… https://t.co/LmmcIjg7pPShould I pay my car payment this month or buy a $300ish but only 16x22 print by my fav artist at the moment
11/5
2019
@MariaPierre_7 I really got robbed hereWell I literally just discovered I left my stove on for 6 days while I was on the other side of the country so that… https://t.co/Uhz5iML1qkproud to announce that i will be participating in No Noise November this month. please do not speak to me. i will not be listening
Retweeted by quinoa cowboy @josephmandros At this point it’s not even worth ordering a new one so I’ll eat it but I’m NOT going to like it! @josephmandros I’m so mad I don’t even know what to do right nowOh my god they gave me a BLUEBERRY BAGEL?!?! This is the worst day of my life who even eats those!!!!!!!!DisgustingThe end result of this poll is extremely concerning and I am thoroughly disappointed. You plan macaroni eaters shou… https://t.co/sM1MX9HkYjI’m also out $20 somehow from just a bagel that’s also magic thank you @Postmates ❤️I woke up and Postmated a bagel and then fell back asleep and woke up again and now my bagel is almost here it’s magic ❤️
11/3
2019
Please note the cooked macaroni is plain with NO CHEESEThis is important would you rather have
11/2
2019
I ordered room service and went to put my tray out in the hallway and locked myself out of my room without shoes or… https://t.co/i9Xzco1Po0
11/1
2019
@spoopy_sash Thank u... so much. It’s a hard life I liveMe, writing an email: I'm using an exclamation point so you know I'm friendly and excited! But now I'm using a per… https://t.co/6enqIRtjps
Retweeted by quinoa cowboyBut itchyshiny nail :)The only thing on the entire earth that I am allergic to is gel manicure polish and I think I deserve a medal for t… https://t.co/ZgZlyx8COHSorry but if you consider your primary grocery store as Target you’re a psychopath I don’t make the rules
10/25
2019

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