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adult child emperor

189 Following   1,052 Followers   42,198 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/13/15


@JakeOfOnline it takes about 8 hours to get going but it’s really goodthis is what i imagine when i hear “metrosexual” https://t.co/GfdBOa0oug
1/16
2021
@loraneceps the pleasure is all minenot as interesting as the one i had last week where the guy had 4 manslaughter charges and appeared in court for th… https://t.co/6bqruA2wtkmy day job is sort of boring but every now and then i come across a story like this where i can tell from the prope… https://t.co/UjHyUaN4vsprocessing some deed paperwork this morning for a woman who changed her name from pattie to patti and i must say..what a downgrade @_DixieFlatline_ extremely high protein very low fat!in b4 someone says “well actually it’s technically a cheese”the skyr in the back of my fridge froze so you could say i’m having frozen yogurt for breakfast 😏 sometimes you just have to be badhow i feel on the inside at all times https://t.co/3vOxKThuLI1104321042648 https://t.co/elFgVsqyvH
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduate @tradfemaIe 😳😳 i hoped you wouldn’t seewhether i have is left as an exercise for the readeryeah sorry i’m just not that scandalized by the armie hammer stuff i’ve had men asking me to brutally cannibalize t… https://t.co/c2OXl6oMdB @_necropants @catshouldnt lmfao i didn’t even notice i thought he’d dug his way up like some sort of lunatic
1/15
2021
@catshouldnt @LGoosetrain how did he do that @garret_txt can’t ..... let ... myself ... sleep😴 <— me at my desk rnhttps://t.co/AVXSBe8o7w
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduate @arborheart right i literally just wanted to listen to music and i muted my poor coworker who was asking for help @TheSixtus i agree 💅 @TheSixtus how annoying would it be if i signed my tweets with 💅 @GaussNP in the somewhat revised words of beyoncé, ~i see it, i want it, i grind til i own it~ @ishme_dagan you’re exactly correct that it’s just super weird and boring lmao @ishme_dagan right its fine to want that type of companionship but the moment it becomes a quality instead of a des… https://t.co/mZoNTdoYNC @ishme_dagan if i wanted a boyfriend i would simply get one instead of talking about it.. it’s gotta be a dispositi… https://t.co/ePZRNOFdd9 @missjuIy93 if you were my coworker and i ever muted you on accident i would simply quit in an act of self-mortification @ishme_dagan it’s exceptionally uncomfortableim such a grouch it’s almost cartoonishdidn’t realize that in teams when i mute my coworkers it mutes them for everyone and i’ve been just muting people l… https://t.co/8rv4VzQNCvlooking ✈️ like a drunk in sweatpants with my hair all fucked up hobbling the block to my car in north philly at 8:30pmi did not peak in high school, in fact I was ugly the entire time i was there
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduateive never yearned i just get the things i want @LGoosetrain i’m frothing at the mouth
1/14
2021
@shornsilk it’s really patronizing i hate everyone involvednyt staff: https://t.co/lhYy8ssdMZ @julmele i wish there were more gym pics on the tl i want all my mufos to get in shapethey’re just messing with us now https://t.co/AQT4h3xoyW @GaussNP 😌 @FrChaseg00dman thank u Fr. @FrChaseg00dman my third job is eatingsome of y’all don’t have alarms on your phone telling you to eat every three hours and it showsbeing-in-the-cool-zone @wwwegan follow your heart imo 😌 you only get to throw this kind of party once @wwwegan adjusting my ‘fit choice accordingly https://t.co/F7dirfU2Vdtrying to wait patiently for sunday afternoon https://t.co/QnKpHNflSyOrange, 1923 #kandinsky #abstractart https://t.co/A5LilFTMHV
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduate @realquickonce_ https://t.co/85zRE8UM9ggirls will literally go to therapy instead of reading hegel's phenomenology of spirit with their boyfriends
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduate @Michael_Ara he’s too cute to get sick anyways 😌 @garret_txt that’s right he’ll get the job doneyou call roadside assistance for a flat tire and this guy shows up .. wyd https://t.co/KfFuriim0tim about to inhale a ham sandwichmen love to put you through a frankly psychotic upper body workout and then tell you to do 100 20lb medicine ball slams before you can leave
1/13
2021
Nature is so beautiful if you stop for a second and really appreciate it... https://t.co/GT2kcyVrQ8
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduatethat i must even click one button unpaid is a crime against humanityi’m so averse to working without compensation that i compose my post-lunch clock-in email before clocking out for lunchi do not care https://t.co/gcLRuu5HdMif i name one of my cats huckleberry i can call him hucklebaby @missjuIy93 @boethianyouth @catshouldnt but still so flat ... how does he do it @missjuIy93 you don’t need the preposition there! it makes sense with or without it @wwwegan brothers! @missjuIy93 where do i sign up to fight for this @wwwegan :)) https://t.co/Ivar9njq6B @loraneceps yeah no this is how i feeladopted two kittens :p gonna pick them up this weekendthis would make me sad if it weren’t just totally confusing. imagine wanting to touch a man you’re not madly in lov… https://t.co/0naTAexj80 @ThottonMather yes 😌 to desire lego is to understand humanity @ThottonMather i build legos.. its girl stuff too .... @missjuIy93 @liliaconvallium magical, probably. life-changing, definitely. @JakeOfOnline @missjuIy93 @liliaconvallium o7 @_DixieFlatline_ oh yeah it makes it @missjuIy93 @liliaconvallium its the truth. ive taken great care to curate it. for example, this was the one right… https://t.co/mQyi4s7AC9this is for @liliaconvallium and @missjuIy93 https://t.co/Un9qL2IOVq @Michael_Ara i can’t take it @ThottonMather well, @ThottonMather this is a condition called “having both a brain and a mouth”“hey did you know tha-“ yes. next.i keep coming back to this it’s like reading a conversation between me and myselfim the gay man on the left https://t.co/eeHI1BHfUIAnd I'm 1% African!!!!
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduate @andrewwcar they deserve homes!!!! @ThottonMather hehe that one shares a name with your kitteh @notthatone12 yeah i want a kitten and think it’s honestly kinda mean to only get one. so i’m looking for siblings… https://t.co/zwHycJdWHj @notthatone12 im trying to adopt these guys https://t.co/05jM37jTXm @notthatone12 i KNOWim not exaggerating when i say id adopt every single one of these cats if my home were largerhttps://t.co/b0RYRDsUiesome extremely good black cat adoption profile pics https://t.co/DrfEZBotMdAnd I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And powe… https://t.co/4w7cGSaSX2
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduate @FrDanFolwaczny lmao @FrDanFolwaczny i don’t even know the police’s numberwhen you’re in the middle of squeezing 1.5lbs of sausage out of their casings and your eye starts get a little itch… https://t.co/Ag7UUriZmQ
1/12
2021
@heyitsmattbaker thanks matti am a grown adult woman with two degrees and a full-time job https://t.co/vjaXxpZOE5Jacob Chansley, AKA Jake Angeli, Arizona man makes first court appearance in for charges related to storming the U.… https://t.co/u8mHAXS8qR
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduatewoah did you guys see the state department website? https://t.co/V27kd2kyY9listening to the new lana..can feel the toxicity levels rising in my blood @loraneceps this is true. it also tastes better because it’s just higher quality too.i feel sort of lame buying the tuna that gets extra mercury testing but i eat so much of it that it feels dumb not to
1/11
2021

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