Sign in with Twitter


adult child emperor

189 Following   1,052 Followers   42,198 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/13/15

@JakeOfOnline it takes about 8 hours to get going but it’s really goodthis is what i imagine when i hear “metrosexual”
@loraneceps the pleasure is all minenot as interesting as the one i had last week where the guy had 4 manslaughter charges and appeared in court for th… day job is sort of boring but every now and then i come across a story like this where i can tell from the prope… some deed paperwork this morning for a woman who changed her name from pattie to patti and i must say..what a downgrade @_DixieFlatline_ extremely high protein very low fat!in b4 someone says “well actually it’s technically a cheese”the skyr in the back of my fridge froze so you could say i’m having frozen yogurt for breakfast 😏 sometimes you just have to be badhow i feel on the inside at all times
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduate @tradfemaIe 😳😳 i hoped you wouldn’t seewhether i have is left as an exercise for the readeryeah sorry i’m just not that scandalized by the armie hammer stuff i’ve had men asking me to brutally cannibalize t… @_necropants @catshouldnt lmfao i didn’t even notice i thought he’d dug his way up like some sort of lunatic
@catshouldnt @LGoosetrain how did he do that @garret_txt can’t ..... let ... myself ... sleep😴 <— me at my desk rn
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduate @arborheart right i literally just wanted to listen to music and i muted my poor coworker who was asking for help @TheSixtus i agree 💅 @TheSixtus how annoying would it be if i signed my tweets with 💅 @GaussNP in the somewhat revised words of beyoncé, ~i see it, i want it, i grind til i own it~ @ishme_dagan you’re exactly correct that it’s just super weird and boring lmao @ishme_dagan right its fine to want that type of companionship but the moment it becomes a quality instead of a des… @ishme_dagan if i wanted a boyfriend i would simply get one instead of talking about it.. it’s gotta be a dispositi… @missjuIy93 if you were my coworker and i ever muted you on accident i would simply quit in an act of self-mortification @ishme_dagan it’s exceptionally uncomfortableim such a grouch it’s almost cartoonishdidn’t realize that in teams when i mute my coworkers it mutes them for everyone and i’ve been just muting people l… ✈️ like a drunk in sweatpants with my hair all fucked up hobbling the block to my car in north philly at 8:30pmi did not peak in high school, in fact I was ugly the entire time i was there
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduateive never yearned i just get the things i want @LGoosetrain i’m frothing at the mouth
@shornsilk it’s really patronizing i hate everyone involvednyt staff: @julmele i wish there were more gym pics on the tl i want all my mufos to get in shapethey’re just messing with us now @GaussNP 😌 @FrChaseg00dman thank u Fr. @FrChaseg00dman my third job is eatingsome of y’all don’t have alarms on your phone telling you to eat every three hours and it showsbeing-in-the-cool-zone @wwwegan follow your heart imo 😌 you only get to throw this kind of party once @wwwegan adjusting my ‘fit choice accordingly to wait patiently for sunday afternoon, 1923 #kandinsky #abstractart
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduate @realquickonce_ will literally go to therapy instead of reading hegel's phenomenology of spirit with their boyfriends
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduate @Michael_Ara he’s too cute to get sick anyways 😌 @garret_txt that’s right he’ll get the job doneyou call roadside assistance for a flat tire and this guy shows up .. wyd about to inhale a ham sandwichmen love to put you through a frankly psychotic upper body workout and then tell you to do 100 20lb medicine ball slams before you can leave
Nature is so beautiful if you stop for a second and really appreciate it...
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduatethat i must even click one button unpaid is a crime against humanityi’m so averse to working without compensation that i compose my post-lunch clock-in email before clocking out for lunchi do not care i name one of my cats huckleberry i can call him hucklebaby @missjuIy93 @boethianyouth @catshouldnt but still so flat ... how does he do it @missjuIy93 you don’t need the preposition there! it makes sense with or without it @wwwegan brothers! @missjuIy93 where do i sign up to fight for this @wwwegan :)) @loraneceps yeah no this is how i feeladopted two kittens :p gonna pick them up this weekendthis would make me sad if it weren’t just totally confusing. imagine wanting to touch a man you’re not madly in lov… @ThottonMather yes 😌 to desire lego is to understand humanity @ThottonMather i build legos.. its girl stuff too .... @missjuIy93 @liliaconvallium magical, probably. life-changing, definitely. @JakeOfOnline @missjuIy93 @liliaconvallium o7 @_DixieFlatline_ oh yeah it makes it @missjuIy93 @liliaconvallium its the truth. ive taken great care to curate it. for example, this was the one right… is for @liliaconvallium and @missjuIy93 @Michael_Ara i can’t take it @ThottonMather well, @ThottonMather this is a condition called “having both a brain and a mouth”“hey did you know tha-“ yes. next.i keep coming back to this it’s like reading a conversation between me and myselfim the gay man on the left I'm 1% African!!!!
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduate @andrewwcar they deserve homes!!!! @ThottonMather hehe that one shares a name with your kitteh @notthatone12 yeah i want a kitten and think it’s honestly kinda mean to only get one. so i’m looking for siblings… @notthatone12 im trying to adopt these guys @notthatone12 i KNOWim not exaggerating when i say id adopt every single one of these cats if my home were larger extremely good black cat adoption profile pics I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And powe…
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduate @FrDanFolwaczny lmao @FrDanFolwaczny i don’t even know the police’s numberwhen you’re in the middle of squeezing 1.5lbs of sausage out of their casings and your eye starts get a little itch…
@heyitsmattbaker thanks matti am a grown adult woman with two degrees and a full-time job Chansley, AKA Jake Angeli, Arizona man makes first court appearance in for charges related to storming the U.…
Retweeted by bat, preschool graduatewoah did you guys see the state department website? to the new lana..can feel the toxicity levels rising in my blood @loraneceps this is true. it also tastes better because it’s just higher quality too.i feel sort of lame buying the tuna that gets extra mercury testing but i eat so much of it that it feels dumb not to