Sign in with Twitter

Username:

I write stories, funny tweets and sometimes songs. Not exactly in that order. Oh I also play RPGs with @ReclaimersRPG. She/They/'Nem pronouns.

656 Following   2,514 Followers   92,148 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/3/09


A parent can never choose between her children. https://t.co/FCPYyGstlmNo the fuck I don’t https://t.co/Z1sQcLYvgz
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterThe more I learn about Antebellum the more worried I am about how it'll actually turn out."Antebellum was written, directed, and produced by Gerard Bush and Christopher Renz" https://t.co/sS9b0DzCYA
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter"Celebrated author Veronica Henley (Monáe) finds herself trapped in a horrifying reality and must uncover the mind-… https://t.co/dt5puh3xd4
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter @StphanieTheBest Look I've been meaning to get my aura cleaned but it's hand wash only and I don't have the time!Beware weaponized positivity. As in, "I'm just so sweet and positive and kind, if you disagree with me then you're… https://t.co/PDwF8z7GNr
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carterif you fail three captchas in a row you're automatically drafted into the robot army
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterIf you blame someone for farting in the hot tub it's a j'accuszi
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter✨Sacred it is✨ (Yes I made this) https://t.co/AxbDv920qf
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter @yeloson They are WAY TOO CLOSE!I always forget Mads Mikkelsen used to be a dancer until I see him move. https://t.co/MkK5Q34TadDon't forget! NerdgasmNoire has a discord! Come join the fun! https://t.co/HBCp3JutJu @yayjayeaye Yeah I'm totally weary. I don't need that stress in my life.I thought the trailer for Antebellum was for a Kindred movie and am still very confused. @moofable @angelsscream Hi. I heard people talking about MISS Fisher's and was summoned like a demon!Not all vibes are good vibes and we should respect that. @polerin That counts as getting them dirty. If you're using them and getting them dented and scratched from work, I… https://t.co/r0ppMS9apiSo... I have this thing where I hate seeing super clean trucks because it seems like a waste of truck. Electric tr… https://t.co/3BmSmocMjCAmerican Horror Story: When You Have To Pee But You Were Just About To Fall Asleep And You're So Comfortable
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterToday in "this may be the title of my autobiography". https://t.co/z3atHjlBLp
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterFood drives are not an excuse for "cleaning out the pantry" and donating expired food. Don't feel good about giving… https://t.co/I8QfBaJi4q
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterAmanda Palmer is the Sarah Dessen of weird white lady music. @djolder I've never read a more spot on tweet. @Blackamazon Nah Chris definitely genuinely likes all flavors of women. He’d bring the Black girl home to his momma.I have things to say about Chris Evans but I can’t figure out how to say them without sounding mean, and that’s not… https://t.co/vm10pAIhmv
11/22
2019
you ever think about the fact that breaking bad and high school musical both took place in albuquerque in the mid 00s
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter"who the HELL is in my Google Doc" I think furiously, before realizing it's me in a different tab
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter @IndasCorner LMAO I almost peed myself laughing at this AGAIN!Did this dude just almost say "hide your kids, hide your wife?" Are they not taking this Impeachment seriously? Like at all?This isn't anywhere near The Inquisition.....That's..... that's not how you play 3 Card Monty.....your reminder not to trust white peoples' takes on Marie Kondo, which are rooted in willful misinterpretations of h… https://t.co/cJyDa84hfC
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterYaBoi https://t.co/3xBSuylCJiImma tell my children that this is Michael B Jordan https://t.co/ospppkMJHn
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/aLfcDKikgQ @Karnythia I'm still tripping off the fact that Dacre is Australian.Carpool karaoke is so bizarre to me because I remember when that German dude was doing it on YouTube and everyone thought he was weird.
11/21
2019
“Yelling at bigots won’t change their minds!” Maybe not, but it‘ll definitely make them perceive the social cost o… https://t.co/CgjpwSycox
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterI don't give a single fuck if a billionaire's kid goes to college for free because we made his dad pay for a ten or… https://t.co/QdYl4Ve3XY
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterI saw someone say Awkwafina does a BonQuiQui impersonation but the real gag is Anjelah Johnson (who played BonQuiQui) isn’t Black either.
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter#BB8
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterJulia Roberts is somewhere minding her damn business....
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterUsing “sensitive” as a pejorative against a person, because you lack emotional capacity, must stop.
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterDon't forget! NerdgasmNoire has a discord! Come join the fun! https://t.co/HBCp3JutJuYOU THINK JULIA ROBERTS WAS WALKING AROUND WITH A NICE FUCKING SHINY FUCKING DRESS ON WHILE SHE WAS TAKING SLAVES 💣💣 TO FREEDOM
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carterthey hate anything that women get excited about. from the color neon green to Instagram/Snapchat filters. men inh… https://t.co/Vo6V8DSYwY
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterGym battles in SWSH: Epic sporting events with a huge audience Gym battles in every other pokemon game: 10 yo beats… https://t.co/Z6ZJRzMkvK
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carterhttps://t.co/FZeaddn4ep
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Cartermy Tik Tok has been flooded with Pokemon sword and shield videos since the release but this is the single one I can… https://t.co/iZazvpRcpd
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter @KillaKamWasHere That's how it feels to me too, which.... Folks gotta treat their friends better. They have lives! @KillaKamWasHere People are so very mad at it when they legit never have to use it. If you don't like it, just use… https://t.co/37wrqKlSKbI dont like "Please dont hurt me anymore 😢🥀" music. I like "Fuck that nigga" music
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterWould I change some of the wording when talking to specific people? Yes. It's a template, I'm allowed to do that. I… https://t.co/fsZV8AKbqPI need shit like that because it takes a lot of the brain work I have to do in social interactions away and makes things plain.That Emotional Labor template y'all are mad at actually helps me a LOT because it eases my anxiety. If gives me a w… https://t.co/WGh535Xpwpsomeone send i'm horny me $500 https://t.co/WzSeHn6OhB
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter”But Marie Kondo is SELLING things and MAKING MONEY.” Look, it’s not my fault or her fault that you think that her… https://t.co/SG3VmPrf8p
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Cartereveryone’s bringing up how loki is genderfluid in the comics but i really think we’re neglecting to acknowledge tha… https://t.co/jmkWx5bXQ7
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterCHARLIE’S ANGELS flopped because Don’t Call Me Angel is a confusingly bad collab in this essay I will
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter
11/20
2019
@PrivateIDeation Wait until he finds out women don't live their lives for the attention of men. He'll freak the fuck out.They're witch girlfriends I dont make the rules. https://t.co/9Hz2tZMRth
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterHE ATE THAT https://t.co/GpIxMZu9Cp
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterI appreciate black tiktokers so much. https://t.co/QtDFvLFdLu
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterI dunno. Having a character whose white AND male AND straight AND cis AND allo AND Christian AND totally neurotypic… https://t.co/LKrZLojIq7
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter
11/19
2019
I'm happy as fuck, I just have D E P R E S S I O N!!!!!All academics do is say words like "phenomenology" and lie.
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterBecause Satan never forgets a bitch.
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterDisney+ “we didn’t expect this high demand, working on technical issues now” I’m over here like, bitch didn’t you s… https://t.co/I8BorhhzXI
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter*sneaking up on a pack of velociraptors with a set of uncut plastic soda can rings*
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterI find this strange... because there were uprisings in the U.S. that started in 2014... some of the ppl tweeting th… https://t.co/QBwCx8eTf9
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carterhttps://t.co/Me4BIPeUAH
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Cartermy biggest take away from seeing everyone's decade photos comparisons. https://t.co/o5tbwJLB22
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterCheck out the latest @GenderStories episode! I was lucky enough to get to interview the fab @mollywoodstock of… https://t.co/QxKoRgcKcZ
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter💀 https://t.co/Q4DVaDI3xf
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter @Blackamazon Please stop talking about me so loudly.Don't forget! NerdgasmNoire has a discord! Come join the fun! https://t.co/HBCp3JutJuSorry I’m late traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past 5 years and I was not expecting that
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterThe Mandalorian: BABY SHARK, TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY Baby Yoda: Do do do do do do or do not do not do not do not d… https://t.co/ojv8TAfI3d
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterSomething that I hate about this era of movies is that they’re so committed to the CGI and action scenes they forge… https://t.co/nHeRybfddO
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterThis didn’t go viral on tik tok like I expected it to so I’m giving twitter a try https://t.co/m6a1otzw7p
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter @talkwordy FINE, I WILL!REVISIT WRAPPED!!! 🎄💋A slightly anxious plus-size pastry chef reunites with a bespectacled ginger IT guy from her… https://t.co/v7jEHWePGe
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterI'm actually really sad for how hard Mark Paul Gosselar had to bleach his hair in the 90s. Bless him for being able… https://t.co/6zqwJGBn22 @TheRealTeagle WELP! Guess what I'm watching next! @eshaton0 HISTORY IS IMPORTANT, ESH! @LammaticHama I feel bad because my friends will get into a show and I'll be like "I'll watch it one day" then 6 mo… https://t.co/3WaJKmkzeASay it aint so, I will not go, turn the lights off https://t.co/3J9grzZZxf
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Cartergenie: you get three wishes me: i wish punching nazis made money fall out like in a sonic the hedgehog game genie: …ok that one’s free
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterI am Chaotic good. As usual. https://t.co/MDdUnW65sjIt’s been marinating for 25 years. It will cure everything, from the rooter to the tooter. https://t.co/wibKgsWmxS
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter @TheRealTeagle Wait is Rhys Darby in the new Voltron!?I'm probably going to go watch the new Jumanji movie just because Rhys Darby is in it and I'm loyal to like.... The… https://t.co/vDyYarYup2Hello everyone. I'm a mess!In case you missed it, here’re all the things I’ve made in 2019 for your awards-related perusal!… https://t.co/lDJ2G6vF3v
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter @Karnythia Take a nap do do dodo dodo 🎶I am trying really hard not to get into it with your irresponsible anti Black fave @jameelajamil. But whew, could w… https://t.co/Q1n5HwwRPD
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em CarterJust a little reminder: !!! TWO-SPIRIT IS AN INDIGENOUS ONLY TERM !!! I'm tired of seeing non natives use it beca… https://t.co/ALDpnbOcn1
Retweeted by Helena Got'Em Carter @so_treu @laripley The gray streak is killing me now. @laripley @so_treu Incubus as a band is great. Brandon Boyd as a lyric writer is a mess.
11/18
2019

0