Sign in with Twitter


(((Princess of Whales))) @NaomiSeu Stuck in Trump's swamp.

Disloyal Jew, Positive FickDichEinstellung, @WolfGangOfFour’s emotional support bitch, she/her

3,473 Following   4,079 Followers   141,708 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/19/15

sorry i didn’t text u back the psychological weight of being alive makes it progressively harder to make it through…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))I prefer not to carry anything that doesn’t fit in my pockets.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))18 40
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))I just spent 10 min playing with a 3 year old. I'll need 50 years to rest.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))look, you seem nice enough but i don’t think anyone really enjoys getting caught in the rain and as far as Piña Col…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))when someone asks 'is it non-fiction?' my brain: which one is that again?
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Can't wait till things get back to abnormal.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))This day in history. 1945. Adolf Hitler retired to his Führerbunker which featured a beer fridge, a pinball machine…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))And you may ask yourself "where is that large automobile?" And you may ask yourself "did I park on level four, or…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))A book where you can buy Masons via post would be a male order catalog
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @PopeAwesomeXIII Congratulations your Awesomeness! sexy guy in the mirror told me I may have narcissistic tendencies, he's so smart.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Judge: A Ghost? You seriously expect the court to believe you had sex with a ghost? Has anybody else here had sex w…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))In the early 90s, Right Said Fred had a whimsical pop hit with "I'm too sexy". The sad truth is that being too sexy…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Breaking: Nobel Prize in Physics awarded to Air Supply for Making Love Out of Nothing at All.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))I've waited for this for SO LONG. If you're reading this, I want to thank you personally for getting me to 6,969 f…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Hats off to... Haha got your hat! You can't catch me I'm moving…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Me: Catamaran? More like dogamaran amirite lol Friend: You don’t know what it means, do you? Me: I do not.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @Freak0nIine She left her glasses in the bathroom again, didn’t she?Macaw: “Day 37; Betty White still thinks I’m two ducks.”
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))it’s fine. i’m fine. everything’s fine.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))i just got the vaccine and the microchip that’s now in my brain came with another free U2 album
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))King Arthur: What shall we call ourselves? The Fellows of the Roundtable? The Armored Buddies of the Roundtable? Q…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))me: Hey, I gotta go, what’s your address so we can talk about this later? jehovah’s witness:
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Not to brag or anything but I bought spinach today and instead of forgetting about it in my fridge for 3 weeks and…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @WetMascara Okay I’m sitting here laughing, I’m pretty sure I can’t beat that!SO THE JEDI WERENT EVEN SUPPOSED TO HAVE FORCE POWERS THE ORIGINAL PLAN WAS AN IMMORTAL RACE OF BEINGS CALLED THE W…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @WetMascara “I’ve learned so much from working with you!” @JodingersCat Giggling! @WetMascara We’ve never seen anything quite like this...Diagnostically speaking, I'm "your guess is a good as mine".
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @JodingersCat I’m sure this is blasphemous, but I’m not sure why I’m sure.We all know Lot's wife turned into Salt, but I bet you didn't know Lot turned into Pepa. And thus, the Hip Hop Bible was born.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Judge 1: You are so good at judging it’s like unreal Judge 2: omg stop I was literally just thinking the same thin…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))The dating app Bumble temporarily suspended its political filter in the US after multiple people tweeted about usin…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))when you have to remind your facial expressions to use their inside voice
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @thehedrk Well, okay then, just this one last time. @thehedrk Dude. Again?There's literally nothing you can do to look tough while buying loofahs
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Synesthesia’s got me feeling blue...
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Running --- err, napping with the wolves #digitalart
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @soupsnake813 @marleemarzipan @WhatsAGreenhorn Naturally!In layman's terms, I'm "would ya get a load of this".
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Scientifically speaking, I'm "holy cow what's your problem, ma'am".
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Clinically stated, I'm "interesting".
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Medically speaking, I'm "a lot".
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))ME: what would happen if- JEDI MASTER: is this another question about using a light sabre to cook food? ME: no, it'…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))ME: if you cut through a baguette with a light sabre, would it perfectly toast both sides of the cut or would it bu…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Fuck: watermelon Marry: cucumber Kill: kale
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @marleemarzipan @WhatsAGreenhorn You may! Thank you @UnFitz 😭Emojis are lies. I haven’t cry-laughed in years, much less 27 times today alone.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Women will really give their pets middle and last names instead of going to therapy
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Was telling my 4-year-old the basics of the Superman origin story for bedtime and literally the only part I couldn'…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))The potentially AWESOME thing about the My Pillow Coup plot is the My Pillow guy is worried about communism, which…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))🎵 I chime in with haven't you people ever heard of Snakes on a god damn plane
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Next shabbos, he won't be president. That's it. That's the tweet.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))me: my engine is making a loud clicking noise and- mechanic: there's blood dripping from your trunk me: mechanic…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Roses are red, I like mojitos...
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))I act pretty tough for a guy who spent his entire sophomore year of high school afraid the cops would find an empty…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @BigJDubz I went to reply with a gif and now I really just hate you. *shudders*God: And put 2 of every animal onboard the ark Noah: Yes my lord God: 18 spiders though Noah: 18? God: Sleep snacks
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Me: I’m going to be productive today and get out of the house! Also me: *sits in car for unknown amount of time*
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))The usa ain’t #1 in anything but embarrassment
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @CrockettForReal A++ parenting!My kids asked me how to spell desert and dessert so I told them to type it both ways and see what emojis pop up
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Even a Dominatrix has to submit to her sub.... prime mortgage
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))if someone you don't know steals your tweet, maybe it was just some common thot
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))I've been saving money on gas the last few months which is great because my cocaine habit is raging out of control
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))One day you're young and exciting and then the next you find yourself thrilled about spotting this years Subaru Outback model.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))I think of myself primarily as a designer slash icon, but I could totally curate. -Brooklynite at party
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Soon as I get my book deal it’s Orwellian for you hoes
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))WEREWOLF: I'm so sorry my father called you a "were-bat." VAMPIRE HUSBAND, holding her hand: It's OK, hun. Baby steps.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))For me, it’s not a superfood unless it has a tragic backstory.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @ADHDeanASL Like a black holeYou’re not short; you’re just Ultra Concentrated™️
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @Larry860 @ReadMyLips21 Ooh - coconut!
Opening a religious strip club called Thots n’ Prayers
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))I wore a hole in my slippers. That’s how much I haven’t left the house.
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Why's it called emo music and not angster rap
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @mattewe02 @AmandaRNH @WolfGangOfFour It was a joyful day! @awkwardenabled @BBFTC1 For my Mel! WAS NOT A PART OF MY BIRTH PLAN
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))ever have so many thoughts you're unsure which one to think first
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Tonight, on Dateline! Cotton Eye Joe - where did he come from, where did he go?
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))To spice up your relationship, dress up as a cat, start meowing, purring, growling and hissing and ask for milk; th…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Any hour can be a happy hour when you don’t say stupid shit like, “it’s five o’clock somewhere”
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))My son is trying to sell me on the idea of making Mountain Dew jelly. I told him he's welcome to try when he grows…
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Kinda rude for white people to appropriate noise
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @Jest_Iris So comforting!Nothing I love more on a cold winter evening than a hot cup of spaghettea☕️
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Not to brag but, I was lazy way before all you people made it sound cool
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))Don’t ask me how vanilla I am. I will think you’re talking about ice cream and we’ll end up at the ice cream shop
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @NaomiSeu @BBFTC1 Love this
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @awkwardenabled @BBFTC1 Omg Mel I love you sooooo much! @mattewe02 Hell yes we do!When someone has a baby I like to wish them “god speed”, it’s so much more fitting than “congratulations”
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales))) @justky1018 Oh so much the same.Twitter has ruined and enhanced my life at the same time
Retweeted by (((Princess of Whales)))