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(she/her/hers) Author of Indictus (Noemi Press; 2018) & Swan Feast (Bloof Books; 2015); editor of @theatlasreview; health and science journalist-in-training

1,813 Following   7,799 Followers   15,371 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/4/09

And I can say the only legit ones are 2 and 3.I had sex with every one of these women in college, so yeah, I do
This quote made me sink into my bath tub and cry for five minutes over."The person one loves at first is not the person one loves at last, and love is not an end but a process through wh… don’t like Boris Johnson but I think we can all agree that him being sick is funny
Retweeted by Natalie Eilbert | longfuckingsigh 2020 @ContentAbundant You should be able to! @AriaAber a leaf falls @theclaudster Oh, definitely! I'm 10000% safer here than in NY. @theclaudster They didn't, but I think it's different because my family is all in NY.5 years ago today, a traffic stop turned left very quick. I used the dashcam footage from it to make Protocol. Than…
Retweeted by Natalie Eilbert | longfuckingsigh 2020Kimarlee Nguyen died yesterday due to Covid-related complications. A stellar writer and beloved teacher, she was 33…
Retweeted by Natalie Eilbert | longfuckingsigh 2020 @tweeterlabird @kimarlee I'm so sad to hear this. @nicksturm @FoxCenterEmory @EmoryRoseMARBL AMAZING!!!This is perfect @theclaudster Jeeesus! He turned away from you so whatever water droplets expelled from his mouth/nose went a diffe…'m crying said, I find discomfort in certain aspects of the text, but I'm also resistant to adding contemporary labels t…'m finishing Stoner by John Williams, and I honestly can't say I've read something this devastating in so long. I… close my eyes is to envision a street, it is to accept and be sombered by its pachydermic slope. I chose love i…
Retweeted by Natalie Eilbert | longfuckingsigh 2020 @colettearrand Thank you!!I attempted to triple-poem it today but I only have two in me. This took a long time and most of everything left in… @ellipticalnight same!Two things: 1. Who wants to do a fucking Zoom Passover? 2. Regarding my last tweet, I'm never going to love myself, chiiiiill.
I also find it terribly unfair that Ali Ward is this brilliant and this hot.I utterly loved this episode about PLUMOLOGY. Come on. I listened to it in the sun. Birbs birbs birbs!, I will probably be one of the assholes who comes out of this pandemic with a six pack, patio tan, an… @FluentMundo whoa I need this entire lookcan i just say something quickly? hobbes was right, y'all are dumb as fuck
Retweeted by Natalie Eilbert | longfuckingsigh 2020I finished (thoroughly) critiquing 60 college research papers in 2 days, where the fuck is my PulitzerContact was a great movie send tweetMany congrats to former JFR managing editor @kiyacowan who is a recipient of a Brooklyn Poets Fellowship for 2020!…
Retweeted by Natalie Eilbert | longfuckingsigh 2020What the fuck am I doing with my days. I don't know, here's a poem. I missed two poems. I might triple up today bec… @RuthAwad I am three years into cool aunt status. It's the best. And you're going to be the coolest aunt! @sarahroseetter I'm so sorry. My older brother is on the mend after so many weeks. She should take a daily vitamin… @maggiesmithpoet It's just the most incredible essay for which I will continuously be grateful and in awe of. @stevenlazarov This moment fucked me up. I read this sentence so many times."Nothing could be worse than a return to normality." I will never stop thinking about this essay by Arundhati Roy. am two episodes of Tiger King in and the level of grooming is so upsetting and intense I don't think I can watch a third.Well, here we are. Friends already have Zoom plans this weekend. People plan Zoom happy hour for this Wednesday? Zo… LOVE THIS SO MUCH @mathildork Yea :( @Vanessid THANK YOU. I wear underwire-free bras but I need them. I can't feel okay about my life if I'm awake and f…
@RaxKingIsDead omg same but reverse. I'm all bootyyyy. @RaxKingIsDead I am also wearing a black henley shirt right now. It...does not look like that on me :((((((Citizens who lost health coverage in past 2 weeks due to economic collapse: USA 3,500,000 Australia 0 Belgium 0 Ca…
Retweeted by Natalie Eilbert | longfuckingsigh 2020omg YES a single person who suffered from COVID-19 will tell you it is anything like the flu. Flu usually sets me back… had this terrible endless flu thing this winter and so had sort of assumed I had already caught the novel coronav…
Retweeted by Natalie Eilbert | longfuckingsigh 2020 @colettearrand “Even microbiologically” upset me so much.I accidentally wrote "sitting shiksa" this morning and I can't stop thinking about itoh to be a creature that could slough its old skin suit off's not too late for everyone to come to their goddamned senses and support Bernie Sanders for President. A true…
Retweeted by Natalie Eilbert | longfuckingsigh 2020 @JulianThePoet Rocket Lawyer has a pretty good Last Will and Testament form! Because, yeah, I'm in the same boat. yourself. I'm the one on the far left in blue, pretending to be coy as I flex my booty there a sadder song than FKA twigs's "Cellophane"
Poetry is happening on the Bloof site throughout April. Several so far by @bloodjetpoetry @DPafunda @rloudon
Retweeted by Natalie Eilbert | longfuckingsigh 2020 @BooksPajamas Thank you so much!!!! @pixnwordz lolol</3 "Ain't No Sunshine" is my favorite song on the planet. Listening to this on repeat today. @BooksPajamas I didn't! Thank you! I'd be interested!People critique the lit organization with a problematic heiress CEO but mum's the word on this wretched dynamic.One day I want to talk about the complicated thing of teaching a room of college students who are taking out upward… men say the darndest shit to melol ok thx'm really in love with everyone's baking photos. It makes me happy in a genuine way. We are all powerful!Obligatory swag shot of my final decision to attend @MedillSchool's Health, Environment & Science Journalism progra… @EmilyYoon Oh my god, I'm sad to miss you! By the way, I'm teaching your poem "Elsewhere" this week! <3 @susanfuchtman Yay! Will do :))) @JulianThePoet YESSS @cocoazafreen Are you in Chicago!? @rmennies I would LOVE to! Hooray friends! @_catherinelacey YOU'RE IN CHICAGO NOW???? OMG YAY!
@BruceWmbruce mmmhmmmI'm moving to Chicago in August :) :) :)Here's my Day Two of #NaPoWriMo2020 over at @BloofBooks. I don't fucking know. @saraelizaj That's amazing! I have only one laptop but I am going to do other shit for an hour and stop being such… a timer to finish each student assignment in 15 minutes or less has really really helped me push through di… you! This week I love and am so proud of Indictus. @roymorbidson omg canceled @roymorbidson omg 1000% my typePosh Spice sun, Scary Spice rising, Sporty Spice moon.Somebody decided to invite Dr. Rishi Desai onto Fox. I don’t think they’ll be asking him back.
Retweeted by Natalie Eilbert | longfuckingsigh 2020 @adamdeutsch I'm doing asynchronous teaching. No Zoom; just a video I upload describing what to do each week.Are other teachers, in this online format, struggling to ever stop working, because you've got this nagging sense t… @eve_kenneally You have SERIOUS Fiona Apple vibes :))))
I feel like people are already taking self isolation less seriously?It's National Poetry Month and I guess I'm doing a poem a day again! I don't feel like a poet right now but let's s… got into two amazing journalism programs, and rejected from two amazing journalism programs. I worked really, rea… think abt these pages in @AriaAber’s brilliant debut a lot, abt what they do for her book & also why it needs doi…
Retweeted by Natalie Eilbert | longfuckingsigh 2020I know so many people, people I love so dearly, who are facing the void of an academic market right now as they com…
@colettearrand his feet are still in the screen and i can't stop thinking about thisVery excited to be in this company!, @The_Rumpus will launch our annual National Poetry Month project! That's 30 days with new work from the 3…
Retweeted by Natalie Eilbert | longfuckingsigh 20205 minutes in, I think I like animals way too much to even enjoy the schadenfreude or the ballasted humor of Tiger King.I have not thought about much else today beyond this astrophysicist using his third and final magnet to pull out th… @RaxKingIsDead oh truly, I'm just hankering for some skull-slatherin' @RaxKingIsDead h-what? I sort of want to slather their skulls in butter? @reluctantlyjoe As a Leo out here on her own: Thank god for the Magic WandI'm way more upset that cheekbones actually look like bologna idk @layne_ransom WELCOME. WE ARE REALLY HOT AND HAPPY TO HAVE YOU.