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Writes for Slate, Vulture, ELLE, Catapult, The Guardian, and Christianity Today. Formerly of The Toast. Proud Utahn. 🏳️‍🌈and Christian.

4,327 Following   136,645 Followers   83,397 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/27/10


Happy Father’s Day to my Lyft driver, who, based on the (very polite, totally deserved) lecture he gave me about gi… https://t.co/Ez3Dk3r7Lb
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @akmitc @weinspace He was only three! There was chewing for sure. @ConnellMaire Same title! Just referring to her getting her own story’s"My friend made it. I have no idea why she did it." Introducing: The clam chowder popsicle. https://t.co/R1NwWkTt0F https://t.co/dGsuO4zjpz
Retweeted by Nicole CliffePlanetOut, ICQ https://t.co/JzN5p5qJRq @AryehCW @amandamull Yes, yes I do.this is the energy I want, no, DEMAND from my party attendees https://t.co/vjzM3PCXA2
Retweeted by Nicole CliffeI think they’re ready for Gordan Korman but Steve is trying to incept them into “The Three Investigators.” Biggest… https://t.co/jQbUd8ypIc @Cyrael SO good, though @Lubchansky The year is young.I was HORRIFIED to see that my kids’ edition of Superfudge changed Peter’s Christmas wishlist to something “more cu… https://t.co/PFcmKhlj9qBut seriously, I’m excited for The Rise of Sheila. The book where she spends the summer in Tarrytown? My jam.
6/16
2019
@weinspace HE ATE THE FUCKIN TURTLE“GOOD” https://t.co/vernTiPhkK @sdpowell1 Someone once said that you should wear makeup unless you are as beautiful as Elizabeth Taylor, and also… https://t.co/AvNg6XCHZ2The greatest photo ever of Boris Johnson, at least for people who know where to put the capo. https://t.co/UUQy0mn2U9
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @sdpowell1 the fact that they make such a big deal of the heat and then she unrelatedly immediately changes into th… https://t.co/5dlsUkJTpf
Retweeted by Nicole CliffeI'm watching Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958) for the first time (it's on Netflix), and this white dress on Elizabeth T… https://t.co/gs5LphFkXu
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe“That’s rude!” they chorus. “He should NOT have done that.”I’m reading “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing” to the kids before bed now and they are like...AMAZED...by how bad Fudge is. @C_GraceT SO brave*whispers* guys you don't have to come up with an analogy or explanation for the Trinity at all
Retweeted by Nicole CliffeI think more male athletes should do full nude photo shoots . This is based on my horniness but I’m happy to twist… https://t.co/36k0v58QSa
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @amandamull Why are you going to Aspen and not instead coming to see me? I assume it’s food but I’m still mad. @Lubchansky I really think you could.thinking about wearing a silk scarf all the time and becoming a huge bitch
Retweeted by Nicole CliffeAm I successful enough yet to stop pretending I like people who I don't like?
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @FNoMTL @PhilariousRex It is a stylized bat and ball forming an “M.”C’est moi. https://t.co/1Y6yZfJKovjust tell me how to turn off the functionality and then I'll stop ruining the algorithm w my fine motor defects hig… https://t.co/0tVdW46XV2 @PFTompkins it's always the corniest shitI have only ever accidentally highlighted sentences in my Kindle and I hate that whole feature. @clairealsto @Nicole_Cliffe reminds me of a screaming match btwn two older gentlemen I overheard at a CVS: Man 1:… https://t.co/HhKDHBFTiV
Retweeted by Nicole CliffeNot even lesbians are doing this.Never, not a chance. https://t.co/Ad617vdb1EWe just started “Succession” to stave off withdrawals from “Billions.”*to the tune of 'If I Were a Rich Man'* 🎶Mighty, Mighty Bosstones, yaidda yaidda yaidda yoidda yoidda yaidda yaidda ya🎶
Retweeted by Nicole CliffeI don’t value my life by any means but I’m not depressed enough to get drunk at an Applebee’s
Retweeted by Nicole CliffeNo offence but I was raised to "take care" of my husband, you know, really make it look like an accident.
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @redsonika It was just the cover, we were switching out duvets and it was empty. Thankfully! @victoriaedel YesI am so personally excited for this I may die. https://t.co/hHdWBvIP0v @grrreen @skeatings heeeee @Kristen_Arnett I’m very selfish, I only want pets who have the capacity to love me.HE WAS CARDED ON THE WAY TO PICKING UP HIS TEAM'S TROPHY. delete and start again. https://t.co/rqKyfscQl1
Retweeted by Nicole CliffeI learned how to unionize from A Bug’s Life
Retweeted by Nicole CliffeI sent out a newsletter today and the way the subject line looked on phones is realllll good.… https://t.co/dDoQbDHvTV
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @thesarahkelly Prayers up @Nicole_Cliffe A friend tracked down a bad smell to a pot of beef stew that had been put back in the cupboard…. a l… https://t.co/8JP8Fnojgk
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @KendraJames_ @selina3sticks Kendra...yes. @selina3sticks @Nicole_Cliffe She was TERRIFIED of the squirrels we had in the attic. So I made it look like a bunc… https://t.co/YVpWSnifPC
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @diannaeanderson @Nicole_Cliffe Cat love letters. I was the horrified recipient of a bunny’s head (just the head) once.
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @sdpowell1 Strutting. @Nicole_Cliffe One time femi & I thought our cat had run away because she put a hole in the screen and was gone and… https://t.co/62Cp3TH2vV
Retweeted by Nicole CliffeWant to get started reading Marvel but have no idea where to begin with the comics? Let me help you out by working… https://t.co/PuBmjyXbYh
Retweeted by Nicole CliffeThe baby chipmunk snuck in with Sansa, was fatally fucked-up by Rory, and crawled into the folds of the duvet cover… https://t.co/AcGsT8vgJF @Nicole_Cliffe after one dead chipmunk? so bourgeois
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @Nicole_Cliffe Ooh this is baaaaad. Closest I got to this was in my parents' kitchen. Sister: "Smells really weird… https://t.co/Y6IfXhIYPr
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @Nicole_Cliffe Not as gross, but this happened with some tomatoes that rolled under my mom's seat in her car when I… https://t.co/YsdhE2Yt3N
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @Nicole_Cliffe A few months ago I got into bed and found a cat poop! I screamed and screamed and screamed and then… https://t.co/ab3HHEpF1V
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @Nicole_Cliffe If you had bought the dentist house, this would be normal.
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @Nicole_Cliffe Honest question: do you live in a tree?!
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @Nicole_Cliffe This is essentially what I convinced my mom had happened, once, when I really wanted her to leave th… https://t.co/USXPyxMAaq
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @ItsTheBrandi Two days. Could have been worse. @_hillary Yes! And she is UNASHAMED. @Nicole_Cliffe why I do not live in the country anymore
Retweeted by Nicole CliffeIn related news, we are now down one duvet cover. @AmeliaFrappolli This is absolutely cursed.We had been smelling something and kept looking under the bed and now my body is roiling w disgust.I shook out my duvet cover and a dead baby chipmunk rolled out of it. https://t.co/4PAmdn8vkz @Nicole_Cliffe The nerve of some tax dollars, promoting beliefs that are contrary to your religious doctrine! Next… https://t.co/7vupnTCPb4
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @Nicole_Cliffe I love how they included the rainbow and PRIDE in the announcement. It totally steals focus - I feel… https://t.co/a7iJjKPWDK
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @farmandfable @Nicole_Cliffe Is this where we share how inclusive and awesome our parishes are? https://t.co/nUL6XQ9FR7
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @SydneeyHolmes Correct. @Nicole_Cliffe power move imo
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @Nicole_Cliffe The (incense) balls on your mom!
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe
6/15
2019
SUPER happy for the whales, though.This is beautiful and interesting and inspiring but I have given it a lot of thought and have elected to not person… https://t.co/ZpPajm4QUA @tomtificate Oh, buddy, I'm so sorry. @tbird1989138 @CarolMcAlpine There can be only one. @Nicole_Cliffe I don’t know if I should. My hat is fitting pretty tight already. Thank you for all the kind words.… https://t.co/vRvbvmgR4G
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @Nicole_Cliffe Our parish priest likes to quote the catechism in the bulletin to shade any homophobes left lingerin… https://t.co/1mI3AZJ95N
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe[content warning: suicide, christian homophobia] i might be agnostic, but seeing people of faith make these choice… https://t.co/ixXDciLhbk
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @Nicole_Cliffe It takes a really special soul to have "Open your heart to the Lord" at the end of the letter read a… https://t.co/daiEcy64uj
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffehey @CarolMcAlpine come soak up some compliments @Nicole_Cliffe I don't know what an arch bishop is, but if a woman of a certain age snapped "Open your heart to the… https://t.co/pcKiE1JiVl
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffeshe cc'd the new archbishop!!!it's not even HER PARISH, she is just MAD AF @Nicole_Cliffe "Open your heart to the Lord" is a PREMIUM devout-older-lady diss.
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe(the nonsense in question) https://t.co/LwXkJQ5skGmy mom is going OFF for pride month and the church running homophobia in the parish bulletin and I love it! https://t.co/OPQ0M76iI8ESPECIALLY if the twist is "hahahaha, you're just delusional."God, the sense of relief when someone you don’t like finally unfollows you.
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @ellle_em P.S. If the bedroom door is closed and he wants me to come out he will push toys under the door to entice… https://t.co/hvZGame2VF
Retweeted by Nicole CliffeSomething I don't love is horror movies where people are recently out of mental institutions and can't tell if they… https://t.co/2RwI42aPi3 @Nicole_Cliffe My college roommate would do this in a spooky whisper. One night after I turned out my reading light… https://t.co/4dnG7tknu3
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @Nicole_Cliffe Sleeping in the same bed as me is fun because every so often I'll wake up convinced that Something I… https://t.co/MeUgbf0ms0
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @Nicole_Cliffe Rob once sat bolt up right in the middle of the night (I was awake next to him in bed writing on my… https://t.co/i7YX0eQnSC
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @Nicole_Cliffe I'm concerned this may be my son's future (he is 3). He only seems to dream about people trying to t… https://t.co/6pcA8jfMeq
Retweeted by Nicole Cliffe @allonsyjeni @gaileyfrey I stood in the open shower door and read it to Steve this morning and he was laugh-crying, while naked.
6/14
2019

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