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tazz @noneofyours99 fuck off, usa

Army Veteran,atheist, 21+ NSFW 🇺🇸 here to fuck off, have fun, laugh, and eat my toe jam

32,737 Following   50,648 Followers   392,460 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/4/13

Honestly, one of the main reasons I don’t pursue being a domme is because it’s too much fucking responsibility to d…
Retweeted by tazzIf I didn’t follow you it’s because I don’t like your vibe. Good vibes only 💚
Retweeted by tazzShow me how you flirt Gif replies only
Retweeted by tazztake what you need ~
Retweeted by tazz @DoubleA33 @CallSignSiren 😂Doodles a taco with a cute butt into the margins of your textbook.
Retweeted by tazz @CallSignSiren Lmaoooo I seriously want a pug and a husky @LynTodd8 @donutscoffeeme 😁😁Me strolling with my ego
Retweeted by tazzI’ve been through every emotion with you guys today, and it ain’t even 3pm yet.
Retweeted by tazzreal vulnerabilities shared by a real woman
Retweeted by tazz @McClaneJohn2 *whole @McClaneJohn2 And they claim to be "animal" lovers. Lucky dog gets picked to spend it's while life outsidePeople who have an “outside dog” aren’t my type of people.
Retweeted by tazzYou can just tell with certain people that if you dated them they'd be a fucking 𝑵𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑴𝑨𝑹𝑬.
Retweeted by tazzBe sure to read things into tweets that have absolutely nothing to do with you You complete and utter psychopath
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Retweeted by tazzA kids show so good your kid steals your phone and takes a couple hundred pictures of the tv.
Retweeted by tazzSometimes a girl just needs a mouth full of salty meat and a mess on her chest
Retweeted by tazzI got all my followers the old fashioned way; I cut off the head of another account and absorbed all their followers as my own.
Retweeted by tazz @douglasgorden @Karlabeback Lmaoooo love thisYour filter is so bright, I can make out eyes and nostrils like someone rolled a 4.
Retweeted by tazz @BerrymoreBlue 👀 intervention time!There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who drink out of the milk carton, and those who say they don’t.
Retweeted by tazzThank the heavens for funny people
Retweeted by tazzWeird is that weird does
Retweeted by tazzYes, you should face your demons. But you should also face the Instacart shoppers who bring you cheese and muffins…
Retweeted by tazzThe little panic attack you get when you can't find your phone while traveling.
Retweeted by tazzI’ve lost a few days along the way like today I thought it was Tuesday but it’s actually Wednesday
Retweeted by tazzI think I've read your poetic tweet before, except it was back in the 80s and called a Richard Marx song.
Retweeted by tazzTrue fact: When you're Canadian, Canada makes you delete your Twitter account if you're mean Bye guys it was nice knowing you 🥺
Retweeted by tazzRemember you put the U in masturbation.
Retweeted by tazz @MCrisis2020 LMAO 🤣 sorryStarting a website dedicated to Akira Kurosawa's interpretation of King Lear called OnlyRans.
Retweeted by tazzI know mouthwash is very important I just wish I didn't have to drink 16 ounces of it every morning
Retweeted by tazzIf the tall, bald, white dude on espn isn’t Beaker..... well I’ll be shocked, shocked I tell you
Retweeted by tazzI do my best work when I have no idea I’m working
Retweeted by tazzWaking up in the middle of the night would be a lot more fun with your hand on my ass.
Retweeted by tazzEdging, but it’s just me knowing what gif you want me to respond with, and giving you a slightly different one.
Retweeted by tazzSartre said "Hell is other people" but I'm not getting any warmth.
Retweeted by tazzI deserve a drink because... I'm the only one at my job who loads the copier. Good enough. Cheers.
Retweeted by tazzKia Soul: can't forget your lunchbox if you're driving it.
Retweeted by tazzI see right through your over-exaggerated toxic positivity. Take your fake ass home.
Retweeted by tazzMy new favourite dessert recipe is sex and bugs.
Retweeted by tazzI'm just a girl, standing in front of the internet, begging that one guy not to drop a dick pic.
Retweeted by tazzgirls with stars in their eyes and storms in their hearts
Retweeted by tazzp.s.~ if she says she loves you, she means even more on your bad days, dumbass
Retweeted by tazzever meet someone and you just know you’re meant to take on the fucking world together
Retweeted by tazzNormalcy is overrated
Retweeted by tazzTicklish times call for desperate back rubs...
Retweeted by tazz @StupiDucker LmaooooMy O face is basically the same face I make at 4am when my balls hit the freezing toilet water.
Retweeted by tazzAnal. Take it how you will.
Retweeted by tazzI can’t believe I fucked that.
Retweeted by tazzMy shed, my rules.
Retweeted by tazzDon’t put people on a pedestal that’s what the their head is for.
Retweeted by tazzDeeply disturbed to see they're pasting my only chat up line in all the bus windows.
Retweeted by tazzMe: *dies* Saprotrophic bacteria: "Ew. That one can mummify."
Retweeted by tazzThe moon is fake but Pluto is a planet.
Retweeted by tazzDon't ask me to spit on it after we just blazed up and I'm cotton mouthed af. I'm a slut not a magician.
Retweeted by tazzNo matter how you put it or what you think, Pop Rocks do not belong in your vagina.
Retweeted by tazzIf he doesn’t fold his clothes, then he can’t fold me. Lazy fuck
Retweeted by tazzThe couch is a pull out bed but it’s also a metaphor for birth control...still want to sleep over?
Retweeted by tazzBe the notification that makes them look down just as a poison tipped arrow flies over their head. Bitches love avo…
Retweeted by tazzI don’t use filters
Retweeted by tazzAll husbands eventually develop heard immunity.
Retweeted by tazzThe second the world becomes my oyster, I'll develop a shellfish allergy.
Retweeted by tazz @MichelePashia Right!! And get a goat! @Royal_Stein 👊 exactly @MichelePashia Sending you 2 and I'll throw in a husky 😂😂Every 1 second a man is masturbating Stop this man before he dies of starvation and dehydrationThat scratch in the back of your throat that tells you, you did a good job... Only it's from a granola bar becaus…
Retweeted by tazzI love reading your crazy thoughts. But I do have to admit that at times I get jealous that yours are crazier than mine.
Retweeted by tazzIs it omelet or omelette or ohmyletmeeatit
Retweeted by tazzWhy must these men smell so good 😍 it's making me lose it
Retweeted by tazzI just figured out the answer to everything. It's NO.
Retweeted by tazzGift them with a pug (sound on) of y'alls filters
Retweeted by tazzIf you kidnap and hold a man long enough, he'll end up with a beard Follow me for more life hacks
Retweeted by tazzDamn, baby, are you spring cuz you’ll be coming soon
Retweeted by tazzFucking cliques 😂😂😂
Retweeted by tazzI can’t wait until it’s 109 degrees this summer & one of y’all starts whining
Retweeted by tazzIf you aren’t one of my kids, grandkids or dog, you’ll never break my heart
Retweeted by tazz @Sunduby Lmaoooo 💀Bruh these are getting out of hand😂
Retweeted by tazz“Do not DM me” is just code for girls that don’t want to talk to ugly dudes creepy dudes...#mirrorcheck
Retweeted by tazzYou know how Texans say “you don’t mess with Texas” Mother Nature:
Retweeted by tazzHer: Come take my poll... Me: Pulls out bills from pocket... Her: it’s not that kind’ve poll... Me: 🤷🏻‍♂️
Retweeted by tazz @MichelePashia NO!! YOU are!!!YES....YOU!!
Retweeted by tazzI have a lovely pussy. Picture perfect.
Retweeted by tazz"The high road is best" We have all heard it - but It is because it's better to see the enemy!
Retweeted by tazzBuys you a one way ticket to Mars.
Retweeted by tazzIt must be nice to date a mermaid. No matter what you tell her, she's always wet.
Retweeted by tazzEver been fucked over a log in the middle of the woods by a 6'8 man when you're 5ft? Its a good time if you're wondering
Retweeted by tazz“Why butter is not as buttery” and other important stories in Canadian news today.
Retweeted by tazzWhen the coffee starts tasting like you want the kind of sex that’s borderline on domestic violence.
Retweeted by tazzthe places inside us where no one has ever gone, let’s get lost there
Retweeted by tazzMen who eat kitty solely for their pleasure are a whole different kind of dangerous.
Retweeted by tazzif your "no time to explain, get in" isn't followed by: i've located a time portal in an abandoned mansion or my…
Retweeted by tazz