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Poop jokes to politics. Hockey nut and self proclaimed leader of the X-men.

453 Following   302 Followers   10,440 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/28/09


@writertina https://t.co/JxdhQ8nvwS @lacroixboy_ Bad ass dude! Have fun! @lacroixboy_ Tf you going to bora² for a whole ass month forin no universe should a fucking emo nite happen before the literal bands they play can even tour
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.
10/21
2020
Daredevil https://t.co/myLyD32QkX
10/20
2020
Keep your hopes up high and your squats down low. 💪
10/19
2020
@Sarah_Laroe Trick r treat! Terrifier!saying "u don't look like a he/him" will get u he/hit
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson. @kellyeden @stefanandersun You're so talented homieHalloween 2020 https://t.co/yNpfYYTkXW
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.
10/18
2020
Hey, stop scrolling for a second, please. I know life feels hard right now. And it is. But life will always challe… https://t.co/Zdy5Yda0j8
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.
10/17
2020
@ChrisEvans not just for myself but for others who've been touched and inspired by your words in the past. I'm tryi… https://t.co/79MDuH6Bss @ChrisEvans 2/3 every day the Americans who we elected to represent us, to protect us, and lead us do nothing but p… https://t.co/cQozj4DzzP @ChrisEvans every day I feel like we're all sitting around waiting to get sick, die, be evicted, get laid off, be u… https://t.co/buLdahutWtI just woke up to go to the bathroom and remembered my dream and started laughing. Two words. Jewish vampire. I rem… https://t.co/nT1dSOhXgt @EHClothing https://t.co/QV10y3DQ7V
10/16
2020
@EHClothing Adam deadmarsh!
10/15
2020
Can't be said enough. #IndigenousPeoplesDay2020 https://t.co/yoAT6ggj6v
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson. @fxhxxm @realDonaldTrump @syddozois @yungwldcrltyfre It was hard as fuck for me to get the proper amount too until I realized it makes it a bunch easie… https://t.co/h2vZLCmhdE
10/12
2020
I am the first black front woman in a band to ever be signed to Fueled By Ramen 🤭🥺💓💓💓💓
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.Hey everyone!! Just so you hear it from us directly, the main reason we’re a band is to be the representation we ne… https://t.co/nx2UMZGoDA
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson. @XavierFiles Beast looks like a really good cuddler
10/11
2020
Fuck the monster mash.
10/10
2020
@writertina You're a fucking dick @misslaurariot Laura smash
10/8
2020
@derikzgregory Or terrifying @derikzgregory Just dress up as him yourself @kellyeden I thought this said "puppy" and I about lost my shit @derikzgregory Sam is the cutest/spookiest mother fucker
10/7
2020
Hand tattoos don't feel that great. https://t.co/OyRsbskHmy
10/6
2020
Every person within the borders of the United States of America deserves the same exact free healthcare the preside… https://t.co/7VFsGuAE7E
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.
10/4
2020
Wishing Dkc Stain & Miserable Melania a speedy recovery. You got this guys! This is Disruptive Behavior &… https://t.co/evyE2h1wTu
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.
10/3
2020
@onepunkdad @chanticleer5280 Y'all are adorable
10/1
2020
@annajeanette Oh no 🤦 @annajeanette I do the white person half smile @realDonaldTrump @CNN 750.
9/29
2020
Yeah real authoritarianism is real punk rock dude. https://t.co/y8SQmAbyA5 @derikzgregory *Laughs in avalanche*
9/28
2020
@misslaurariot I don't know about you, but Laura's not feeling 22...
9/27
2020
I was today years old when I learned the blocks in tetris have names like "blue ricky" "orange ricky" and "teewee".
9/25
2020
Here he is winding up and throwing a fucking knee, dept of player saftey where you at? @nhl #fuckbenn https://t.co/PMIgj2dokzThis dude literally winds up to kick someone. Hey dept of player saftey where the fuck you at? @nhl #fuckjamiebenn https://t.co/XInddp8t5mWalmart sells insulin for 25 dollars over the counter. I Wished More people would share this. It could save a family or friends life.
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.
9/23
2020
@derikzgregory This tweet didnt age well
9/21
2020
RT if you're just over this Dallas team and their BS
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.should we just open who gives a shit
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.
9/20
2020
@derikzgregory Fun fact: simon birches real name is Ian 🤦📞 212-970-4133
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.
9/18
2020
@annajeanette Why do you know this
9/17
2020
I can't wait to watch you get your hearts broken in the finals. https://t.co/3bXWnahBB2
9/15
2020
@lzzcat Whatever you say elizabethBillie Joe Armstrong looking like any random HC dude in 2020 is fuckin me up https://t.co/saeiYod1oH
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson. @misslaurariot Good to hear bud. Enjoy your trip and may you come back stronger than ever! @misslaurariot Where you going!?
9/14
2020
@misslaurariot "healthy alcohol" say that again slowly hahahaI did 9/11
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.
9/13
2020
You know what movie whips ass? The movie coneheads.
9/12
2020
@annajeanette Sounds like a free vacation to jail
9/6
2020
@DNVR_Avalanche @syddozois
9/5
2020
@Sarah_Laroe Weird is an understatement homie
9/4
2020
Good morning. Colorado came back from a 3-1 series deficit to force game 7.
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.MacKinnon has been nothing but public bus piss floor nasty this playoffs. @Avalanche #GoAvsGoGAME SEVEN FUCKERS #GoAvsGo
9/3
2020
@billslikemoney Happy early birthday old woman!KELLYS BACK BETCH https://t.co/tgZ6hFk7QT
9/2
2020
Chet hanks is my favorite cartoon character https://t.co/XRlFFslM5FEat shit pavelski. #GoAvsGoEat shit Comeau. #GoAvsGoBAR DOWN FOR WHAT https://t.co/GsdHV15D5BThis dramatic ass’ performance had him looking like Handsome Squidward #GoAvsGo https://t.co/BhWIavdv1u
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.
9/1
2020
@misslaurariot I turned it offWhen you're depressed try watching the trailer for the #batman. You'll still be depressed but now you're depressed watching Batman.There’s just something about the Bloodborne/Dark Souls/God of War soundtrack that makes me want to uproot a tree an… https://t.co/xmbK9Rg9QX
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.
8/30
2020
I'm so glad I stopped gauging my ears. @writertina Foreverthinking about how if Hillary ran again this year, she’d tweet something like “they’re not ready for this WAP (woma… https://t.co/Ggn8mr4CSc
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson. @syddozois @HilaryKnightLemme reiterate: Hilary Knight would smoke both Brad Marchand & Sidney Crosby. This is why we love her. https://t.co/HTG9o2C6T5
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.
8/29
2020
Holy shit 💔 https://t.co/9qiWI0uH3j
8/26
2020
@Sarah_Laroe That powerplay ruined us
8/25
2020
*your next opponent is Nathan MacKinnon and the Colorado Avalanche* Goalies: https://t.co/upKhtoVIMF
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson. @syddozois Us watching Nate ragdoll a grown man https://t.co/rscEzaW85O @annajeanette That's not wrong @writertina Better fuckin not bud
8/22
2020
Nathan MacKinnon might be the strongest man alive https://t.co/rWj4ayU04H
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson.Lordy Lordy! After an ugly late hit on Makar... MacKinnon just man-handled Fischer like he was a wet dead fish.
Retweeted by Carly Rae Jetson. @misslaurariot We need to send Toronto a thank you card
8/18
2020
@StuntinP 🙌 @itsJeffTiedrich For that? I hate his ass, but pretending something benign is a scandal feels like some Regina Geor… https://t.co/YVdjLHRmHD @itsJeffTiedrich Not defending him, at all, but what do you deem appropriate activities at this time? Where do you… https://t.co/3VZCqzn7DyI wonder if it's possible to punch someone sleeping so hard in the face they don't even wake up, just go from sleep… https://t.co/nLaSsA5DvUIf they give me another stimulus check I'm getting a mummy.
8/16
2020
@lexxibacca One of your horses!Fact. https://t.co/Lw5cqmb6Dx @Sarah_Laroe Heard rumors of wolverine casting 😍😍😍I'm drifting off to sleep and one my final thoughts that randomly passed through mind was "man, I hope Tommy wiseau… https://t.co/lMk04toDVZ @StuntinP Good work dude
8/14
2020

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