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It's John! @odd_really Newcastle Upon Tyne

he / him and gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide

2,667 Following   712 Followers   14,380 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/29/09

@foliosociety @RonCharles @washingtonpost lol I also hate it when the children live @foliosociety @RonCharles @washingtonpost Silas Marner, so twee @CostaCoffee Oof, think I’ll need to break out the expensive lube for those bad boys
Fucking hell, the Tories just did something good but cleverly hid it from us by voting to starve children @CeeChampion Long as I knew Cillian Murphy was under there I’d be fine with it @thecommonbreath Probably my favourite novella, possibly even my favourite book (though I do keep changing my mind). @AMcArthr Minging aren’t they? My dad went on about them for years as well, when I finally had one I couldn’t believe how shit it was.You quite sure about that UberEats? @angrypiln Now that’s magic! say no, kids. #FrayBentos
Retweeted by It's John!Never trusted Big Pastry, that’s why I bake my own #FrayBentos #BenBradley @RobinElbe1910 Depends if either of them is erectThis weekend, I shall be mostly reading... @RobinElbe1910 Apparently it was the Bidens going a bit Daddyhunt
@northumbriana Oh so that’s where they’re from, I’ve wondered that for years @amandamilling @Keir_Starmer @AngelaRayner You decided to starve children, were you expecting roses and happy thanks? @BBradley_Mans want to live in the timeline where Jonathan Groff gets to keep doing doing 80s true crime X-Files shit in tight t… @HowFashionating But yes! @HowFashionating @totalfilm If that’s the best thing on his CV then this might be even worse than we’ve been anticipating. @robpalkwriter I like the way you phrased your question to imply anyone who answers it is a nonce @country_jim I mean, they should definitely do that @country_jim Fuck, get well soon Jim
@stefmowords We can only conclude that cartoon characters who don’t wear trousers have a micropenis @barneyfarmer I sometimes struggle to believe this is real. I need to see it for myself to be sure... @robpalkwriter @stefmowords There’s probably a reason for that @neilhimself Well you Brexited into a narrow lead #cursedratio @robpalkwriter @stefmowords Oh god, it’s duck incest isn’t it ? @robpalkwriter @stefmowords Those baby ducks came from somewhere @robpalkwriter She probably just did that anyway and someone switched a camera on @stefmowords We grew up with Donald Duck, who wore no pants, but would wrap a towel round his waist after a bath/sh… @stefmowords I mean. This is hardly unprecedented. @Martin_Abrams @DawnHFoster Incredible, can’t believe I missed thatdidn't know billy bragg had a wario
Retweeted by It's John! @krishgm @MarcusRashford @FareShareUK Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with you? @RobinElbe1910 No idea. Decided not to find out in case it isn’t something inappropriately homoerotic involving the beckhamsNo idea who I’m subtweeting here but since everyone else is doing it...Does this look like an appropriate father/son interaction to you?
Oh my god, why did no-one tell me Ann Dowd was in Rececca?
he chop wood he make bed but most importantly he got the code for White Power tattooed on his head
Retweeted by It's John!2035: Lee Mack: 'I once did a woodworking show with an actual nazi that made it all the way through to broadcast'…
Retweeted by It's John! @PinkNews Clearly all three are bottoms, they might need to throw Chris Hemsworth into the mix too @PinkNews So... Spiderman orgy?
But also ... e-mail, deer-tick, gaydar, g-spot, phone sex, skanky, teensploitation, type 2 diabetes, and vaginosis.… god, the first one's AIDS... @Danacea I binged the lot in about two weeks, so satisfying @robpalkwriter If I ever get round to reading one of his books I’ll express an opinion. I mainly remember him from… @robpalkwriter Will Self probably used to say that @robpalkwriter Give it time @RobinElbe1910 @odd_really @thebrainofchris @robpalkwriter @joekennedy81 *Kate Winslet voice* smash me like one of…
Retweeted by It's John! @robpalkwriter @thebrainofchris @RobinElbe1910 @stefmowords @joekennedy81 Shin Godzilla was pretty good, but the hi… @RobinElbe1910 @thebrainofchris @stefmowords @robpalkwriter @joekennedy81 @RobinElbe1910 @thebrainofchris @stefmowords @robpalkwriter @joekennedy81 It’s not just that it’s big, he knows how to use it @robpalkwriter @thebrainofchris @stefmowords @joekennedy81 ‘Frankly, the Tokyo Skytree makes me want to take it all up again.’ @thebrainofchris @stefmowords @robpalkwriter @joekennedy81 After spending most of the 1980s emerging from the sea a… anyone checking up on Sisi's Egypt
Retweeted by It's John!
Retweeted by It's John! @Billflows1 @mjrsumption @jewdas @ElunedAnderson @DawnHFoster Mike Gapes?
Best bit in #TheShining is always the ghost who just wants to chill and get blown by his best bear. @chakrabortty Avoiding criticism they caused deaths, by issuing advice that would save lives instead, the devious b… disgraceful witnessing of climbing all over a war memorial today! Should be ashamed of themselves!!! You…
Retweeted by It's John! @guardian Yeah. That’s all it will take. @Summerhillbooks Just realised I’d been thinking that was Split Crow Road, worked out where it was taken now. What…
@HowFashionating @robpalkwriter Or your child is evil and only you can’t see it @lynell_richie @Nikhil09121 Good god... I’m never eating corn againWorth remembering that the Australians have tried to get out of being Australian terms by negotiating an FTA with the EU.
Retweeted by It's John! @HowFashionating @colourmehazel @anicegreenleaf How’s that for hot Burnham insider info? @HowFashionating @colourmehazel @anicegreenleaf She says she has no insider knowledge of dyeing, but his nose is re… @HowFashionating @colourmehazel @anicegreenleaf A friend of mine works in his building, I’ll ask her if the plague… @anicegreenleaf @HowFashionating @colourmehazel The one that makes him look like the lovechild of Alan Bennett and Winnie the Pooh?You can't say we don't live in interesting times @Conservatives I think it’s gone off @tygertale Just approaching a man standing on a causeway, or a bunch of kids throwing stones, or people laying out… @tygertale So I cheated and watched the 90 minutes highlights on Sky. And I loved it. But I really want to see the full twelve hours. @tygertale So I watched about three hours of it on Facebook, and I loved what I saw, but won’t watch on till there’… @AJEnglish This country’s going to absolutely burst apart with that tit in charge. What a fucking con. @George_Jaques It was incredible, unbelievable intense to watch, can’t imagine what it was like going through all that @Film4 Easily @alicelowe’s caravan packing @keewa @AllyFogg Bloody hell Spain @rsutcliff @sarah_ash7 @MuseumCromwell Criminal that’s out of print @KathyBailes Imagine what it would need to be to be embarrassing to BJ? @Skionar Don’t work for the BBC but I just bought your book. Solidarity, this is really shitty behaviour from Radio 4. @jetfury @fraserdees It is quite funny how that scouse talks around his family hating him. @jetfury @fraserdees All so thin skinned about being called a cunt, they made a whingy video for the telegraph, so… you what, when we find out what Cummings has on the PM that lets him keep his job it had better be fucking spe… @Summerhillbooks Just realised I’d been thinking that was Split Crow Road, worked out where it was taken now. What… @jessf_white
Retweeted by It's John! @OTooleChloe @jessf_white AmazingHigh Street, Felling in the 1920s.
Retweeted by It's John! @Summerhillbooks Gorgeous. Looks a bit different these days. @munchkin68 In fairness, he seems to have an awful lot to live for
Reached the end of episode 1, still can’t get over the juxtaposition. Like watching Sex & the City, but everyone ta… @roidweiser Got me right radgie like @roidweiser And I think we all know what that would sound like’s got its moments, but there’s a strong chance that Peppa Pig girl will make me snapAnd the weird thing is, half of it is coming from a British cast. The makers have updated The Turn of the Screw to…, people really weren’t kidding about the accents in The Haunting of Bly Manor. Pahhfectly Splendid!