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Tim Allen @ofctimallen City of Angels

Santa? Buzz Lightyear? The Tool Man? Mike Baxter? Hey, I’m still that wisecracking kid from the Midwest, looking for answers to life’s big questions.

37 Following   490,741 Followers   1,582 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/27/09


Watch my family, friends and the world dealing. This quote points at fear. https://t.co/8JcsjFhPOt
8/7
2020
I hope my pants don't look like that shirt after the first test drive with the batteries... 🔥 #today #ripped https://t.co/HNt8lZgZfR
8/5
2020
One of my buddies kid got the virus. The kid recovered quickly and is ok now. So I asked him how he felt and he say… https://t.co/U7Kn2Due0t
8/1
2020
Ok, I figured it out. Some nosey neighbor saw what I was having for lunch and 'figured' I was going to die. https://t.co/8HKcKVRyU6Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to a beautiful day in Michigan only to find out I'm dead?! How did… https://t.co/ti3rH9T3bS
7/30
2020
This reminds me I need to lift with my legs more often #fitness #today https://t.co/bb4Yo7uR3T
7/29
2020
Looked over my shoulder and this was just there. Crazy how I am surprised by the simple stuff these days. https://t.co/IWYKYAulrG
7/28
2020
Having goals keeps you moving. One of my goals was to be on Johnny Carson. What's one of yours? #MCM #goalshttps://t.co/Y6TyzoQurO
7/27
2020
You disruptive, ugly, and greedy virus. Now you have now gone too far. You have made the wrong people very angry. https://t.co/mtP5i8Og9f
7/25
2020
As days slowly roll into night I'm waiting for the day the Vik will roll into my garage 😁 but what sound shall it m… https://t.co/rEzvcuD0HO
7/22
2020
Feeling a little claustrophobic these days.. What are you doing to stay sane? #mondaythoughts #today #Health https://t.co/gu1p3RWW2p
7/20
2020
Here's to working towards your goals (and keeping a sense of humor) https://t.co/0k2aFMJXce What are your goals and… https://t.co/Lw4oBtfM7X
7/15
2020
So sad for my pal Travolta. So hurt for his families loss. Kelly is a gem of so many facets. My families prayers an… https://t.co/HY2j1lCuafStarting at the bottom means theres only one way to go.. So, what motivates you? #Family #Love #MotivationMonday https://t.co/PzVJMp4ack
7/13
2020
This cowardly alien-like virus attacker has fear as one of it other weapons. I recall a movie quote, "fear is the m… https://t.co/vjQKZ5UY0R
7/9
2020
Happy Humpday! Very neat to see the motor and transmission together. I'm thinking of using one of Bodies bandanas a… https://t.co/401eAMqCwP
7/8
2020
Getting closer! Just need to find the right friend willing to test these under-seat batteries. . . 🔥 #todayhttps://t.co/vMc675d5x3
7/1
2020
My #TipTuesday is; if you're unsure of your wiring get a friend to test it first. ⚡️ #Wired #homeimprovement https://t.co/KVQQuIoofb
6/30
2020
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single rev... #MotorcycleMonday #MondayMotivaton https://t.co/9RzYRZf2Og
6/29
2020
With my mask on I took a picture out of a window while waiting to pick up some chow. Sunset wasn't wearing a mask. https://t.co/tGVHpFZLTa
6/28
2020
Happy take your dog to work day! Still not quite used to working from home.. they jump in the car every morning and… https://t.co/jhrFIhKA8i
6/26
2020
Primer? Bell Housing? Tiny steps forward that make this guy pretty excited. Maybe I'll stop by the shop next week t… https://t.co/8My4cxIHi7
6/24
2020
Rainy day outside. Inside nothing like looking at this old beadboard. Even better than enjoying woodworking is watc… https://t.co/j2j073qfAu
6/23
2020
That time of year again. BBQ's, boating and heavy duty weeding. Glad I had the past few months to modify my lawn mo… https://t.co/ho7saHootN
6/22
2020
My quarantine head can have very selfish moments. It is perhaps wise to look out, not in at times. The grateful win… https://t.co/hH5G7SyxMp
6/20
2020
How many times must you electrocute yourself before learning you should not wire outside in the rain? For me, twice… https://t.co/eKZFD3VMeV
6/17
2020
A neighbors little 2 year girl made me a birthday card yesterday, mostly because she thinks I can turn into a dog,… https://t.co/fs9jAtzBCB
6/15
2020
I have been in my house too long. https://t.co/fJX9Nby4rp
6/11
2020
Progress (n/v): forward movement towards an objective or goal. The learning and growth is in the journey. Keep movi… https://t.co/BMv6GEIlsz
6/10
2020
I am just listening.
6/9
2020
Humans greatest strength is that of perseverance. #Persevere #Strength https://t.co/tfRfPl3f39
6/3
2020
Our favorite race rival is back! @ofctimallen and Jay head to the racetrack to try a crazy new kind of racing. Dare… https://t.co/iIgAuRMNru
Retweeted by Tim Allen
6/1
2020
@tiktok_us (7
5/30
2020
Day #3405 of staying at home and seems like the right time to learn a new language, and what better way than rewatc… https://t.co/4K9Vg5thUE
5/29
2020
All day my heart has been busted with sadness and anger over the murder of Mr George Floyd. Horrible, pathetic beha… https://t.co/EcKKosEdwG
5/28
2020
#Happy what-we-used-to-call #Humpday. You remember back when the day of the week meant something...?… https://t.co/u7SBJKvxv0
5/27
2020
"The tongue is the only tool that gets sharper with use" -Washington Irving #TongueOutTuesday #doglifehttps://t.co/xDNiXEuEzB
5/26
2020
"You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending." CS Lewis
5/23
2020
#TGIF! Who else has been slacking on their workouts lately? #FlashBackFriday #FitnessFriday #homeimprovement https://t.co/T0x1fUoGJR
5/22
2020
Thank God he's watching Woody. If it were Buzz, he probably would have thrown her off the bed to get her out of the… https://t.co/zeYRNhS59JI have always appreciated and respected people who can build stuff. Who will say "I can figure it out. I can do it"… https://t.co/Su9sAl8tqv
5/20
2020
Talk about #GoodNewsTues @LastManStanding is returning for yet another season!! Can't wait to be back with my #TVhttps://t.co/xv5YrS52xrGood news. Today Fox announced Last Man Standing is on for season 9!!!!
5/19
2020
Missing social life... but not as much as my old #cat Joe. My buddy for 20 years (Yes dog and cat guy) It is true w… https://t.co/Iiq8F0c81G
5/18
2020
Hey, who's this good lookin' kid? #TBT #ThrowbackThursday https://t.co/9K5kFRQ7mZ
5/14
2020
#Wednesday looks a lot like Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday recently... Except for 2 things; my breakfast burrito an… https://t.co/3KEmqDCkaeCame across a quote that resonated after watching so much blaming on TV. “Compassion costs. It is easy enough to a… https://t.co/hT6ePsDOHi
5/13
2020
@NtlComedyCenter presents an all-star tribute to comedy legend George Carlin in support of their educational and pr… https://t.co/ESXUB17Hcy
5/12
2020
Great fun hanging with @thomaslennon Check it out NOW on @quibi Watch #Reno911 https://t.co/Q026jOkmmp
5/8
2020
#Happy #Humpday ! If a day of the week changes and we're all still stuck at home, did the day really change?… https://t.co/H9GcBSVdIf
5/6
2020
Join me tomorrow at 4pm EDT! @ComedyCastle #tipYourWaitstaff https://t.co/ggjlLBqn9s
5/4
2020
#Watch the final episode of season 8 of Last Man Standing #Tonight!! Love and miss my tv #family and #wifehttps://t.co/Ul0HPrUGUqNow here is a mask....more power! RRR https://t.co/GT6rSXSoaK
4/30
2020
#ProgressReport https://t.co/wqJXreLcvA Because who couldn't use a hug right now? @BodieStroud#AtHomeWith family and reading books taking me to another place and time... Currently sitting in front of a black T… https://t.co/3QmFmMGAip
4/29
2020
Don’t miss me giving the command to start engines for Sunday’s FOX NASCAR iRACING #ProInvitationalSeries race at Ta… https://t.co/ktZv9giZnh @JonAdamsVO Happy Anniversary you two!!!
4/26
2020
Join me tomorrow, Saturday, April 25th, at 2pm for an online concert event helping the city of LA. You can donate d… https://t.co/ldqSjGbO3D
4/24
2020
#TuneIn #Tonight for a brand new episode of #LastManStanding !! @LastManStanding on @FOXTV https://t.co/LLp1GIONlb
4/23
2020
Just enjoying another day of #QuarantineAndChill https://t.co/cKt0Ou6l0m
4/22
2020
In #Timwordsorless you fill in the rest. https://t.co/TAtOrUqvC6"Never Surrender: A Galaxy Quest Documentary" is on Amazon prime right now if you're looking for something to watch… https://t.co/PABL7xzJe7
4/21
2020
I was considering the folks that are for better or worse used to staying in. Besides the obvious ones how about Sub… https://t.co/U1XvHg2vDy
4/18
2020
Looking forward to even more alone time with my real #family while watching my #TV family... I wonder what Mike Bax… https://t.co/AOSxLyjrME
4/16
2020
Half way through #SaferAtHome, half way through my cookie dough stash... Good thing there's more Vik videos to watc… https://t.co/k9ZI5BC9qa
4/15
2020
#rainyday here in #LosAngelesLockdown .. good news there is some laughter in the house this evening!… https://t.co/EMniHD9qTh
4/10
2020
Darn it…talk about bad timing… I was just starting to get a taste for the organic bat meat and arugula salads here in LA…
4/9
2020
My dear old friend. https://t.co/RNTCXvoRm0Because who doesn't need a project right now? #SaferAtHome Tell the toolman what's taking up your time these days?… https://t.co/jwFpmPzlew
4/8
2020
Weird time to go get food...but I do find it funny when I notice the stuff folks don't want. Plenty of smoked oyste… https://t.co/MIe5YJF5n8
4/7
2020
That's fine Kyle, just stay 10ft away. Social distancing.. Plus a buffer zone :) #Family #ItsAJoke #TuneIn #Watchhttps://t.co/QvWOmQDMuh
4/2
2020
Guess who's finally on wheels and rolling?! https://t.co/C9c9ABuSm1 #AprilFools #humor #TodaysPickUp @BodieStroud
4/1
2020
The matching outfit suggests it might be a she....are these male or female? https://t.co/08qM7bR0JYI found some stranger in my yard and was forced to ask what are you doing here? He wouldn't say a word even when I… https://t.co/PdftUMBSnT
3/30
2020
Join the #Laughter tonight on @FOXTV @LastManStanding #LastManStanding https://t.co/Eag0vZBA3a
3/26
2020
Always good to hear people are concerned about the temperature of my rear end... In the car. #Today #Humor #Wiredhttps://t.co/12FU8uOds9
3/25
2020
Stuck at home per instructions. If #laughteristhebestmedicine does that make me a doctor? https://t.co/HnbGKB0wrt
3/20
2020
Well, Mike may not have a heart but Tim has plenty of popcorn and snacks to make up for it! Tune in #Tonight for mu… https://t.co/6DZ0UPhc7gHey all- check your local listings as I'm on the The Kelly Clarkson Show today. Here in Los Angeles at 2pm… https://t.co/rCaEy3MrTH
3/19
2020
Just another #Wednesday (with a little less toilet paper) https://t.co/SbAD8Bt62K Here's to keeping ourselves busy… https://t.co/ffx9x8YbWo
3/18
2020
And if that doesn't work... #watch Last Man Standing #tonight at 8/7c on @FOXTV ! #happywifehappylife https://t.co/tmLyOuKtdVI told Tom and Rita that Buzz offered a couple of spacesuits if they need them. Seriously rest up and get well! https://t.co/tsmxbS8IZk @tomhanks Woody, I should have made you two wear my space suits! You and Rita rest and get well! https://t.co/5mZUsh60SN
3/12
2020
What a group. Love love love my TV family. So grateful. https://t.co/whjQ3jVeRA
3/11
2020
@tomhanks Woody that's my sock....Buzz
3/8
2020
That's it, just pick up the remote slowly and tune in tonight to @LastManStanding on @FOXTV #tonight #familytimehttps://t.co/CHc09s4rME
3/5
2020
#Humpday! You know what that means; gotta watch that camel commercial again, right after this...… https://t.co/0UkwtS989E
3/4
2020
I'll be @TulsasCasino May 8th. Tickets go on sale this Friday https://t.co/jfLHYtnCNt #riverspiritcasinoresort https://t.co/g7F3ryRsbh
3/2
2020
The @salmich does important work–especially their #BedandBread program, which feeds over 3,500 and shelters over 30… https://t.co/G3TO8WDQX9
2/28
2020
Actually learned something about capitalism from this dude. https://t.co/4b6EXN1Eel#TuneIn #Tonight to see why there's so many cooks in the kitchen over at the Baxters on @LastManStanding on @FOXTVhttps://t.co/2UdP5zeKkmBuilding this electric hot rod teaches me daily the value of people who get stuff done. Don’t yell, don’t cover up… https://t.co/XhBBGha359
2/27
2020
Wha the.. My wheels are going to take how long?? https://t.co/0NugJNgEaC #ford #wheels #custom #CarLifeJust curiousSocialism Merriam-Webster 1 : any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental… https://t.co/38hbA4yqpS
2/26
2020
I know what I'm doing tonight @LastManStanding . Do you? #WatchThis #Tonight #LastManStanding https://t.co/lCNf78S15D
2/20
2020
The REAL question is, how many metal splinters do you think they get on a daily basis? https://t.co/uiK16qEt50https://t.co/yQ1FmnQVnn
2/19
2020
#Watch @LastManStanding #Tonight and #VoteForVanessa! https://t.co/DJdoJKx97S @DanaPerino Thanks for suggesting the book for my youngest daughter, great to meet you in person at the Superbowl. @greggutfeld Hey Greg I forgot to say how cool it was to run some jokes with you and Dana in Miami.
2/13
2020

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