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Ashley Reese @offbeatorbit Brooklyn via Los Angeles

Staff writer at @jezebel. Hates mint chocolate. Wrote a column about her vag once.

1,672 Following   8,775 Followers   128,517 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/7/09


nearing supercritical levels of youth pastor energy https://t.co/vFWUFuDfLy
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseOh but a crab pinched my toe when I was in the ocean. Rude :/Like why is this man being recognized on his birthday?Love 2 learn and all but interesting choice of Wikipedia to make a former Rhodesian politician and avowed white sup… https://t.co/jQCxktOy71period. https://t.co/TlWn7qm58C
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseI went to the beach today. It was great. I’m sleepy. That’s all.Drawing a pizza with the word pizza https://t.co/zRHauE7huZ
Retweeted by Ashley Reeseeveryday it's some "sex is an energy transaction and your energy CREDIT is bad because you have TOO! much! INTERCOU… https://t.co/hdiKqUc6AM
Retweeted by Ashley Reesei'm begging you to please stop putting these budget third eye chakra people on my timeline, PLEASE https://t.co/HG10uF8zRd
Retweeted by Ashley Reese @crushsong Happy bday!she’s 16 I didn’t know that. this is very normal 16 year old behavior please let these gay ass children be weird an… https://t.co/V6Z6A02QxA
Retweeted by Ashley Reese @half__shadow Comrades on the *NSYNC forumI would love to know what prompted this loool https://t.co/AKi1rWURLOI’m losing it https://t.co/or2yEZtNwI @rosavertov I did!Pls respond to this very important poll.
7/22
2019
Interconnectivity of girls and nature, she is a leader, she is green conscious, she is pushing our culture forward,… https://t.co/rJJOXQa3T8
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseThe side that knows that white rear lights activate when you drive in reverse!!! https://t.co/ZTofINkA8B @big_nkrumah The right side!Trying to settle an argument: Did you know that white rear lights are activated when a car is driving in reverse? @libbycwatson She’s cutenot a white lady pretending she invented sleep bonnets and selling them for $100 https://t.co/DYxZNILJCE
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseLove all the angry Gen X-ers in the replies trying to pretend that internet access was a formative part of the aver… https://t.co/mIWp6Bq4JDCan we be called this instead of millennials now https://t.co/Ef7NRDIxFu
Retweeted by Ashley ReesePls the streets need to know @capturedtracksIs new diiv comin? 👀TREVANTE HASN'T BEEN CASTED IN A MOVIE IN TWO YEARS NOW PLEASE HOW MANY TIMES WILL I HAVE TO WATCH HIM CLAP SANDRA… https://t.co/iZzvJxwaG1
Retweeted by Ashley Reesegiving these to the lucky lady that streams old town road the most this week https://t.co/dFQflgiy0P
Retweeted by Ashley ReesePOV: you’re walking home from your friend’s house and you get mugged by a tiktok cosplayer https://t.co/qzvSy9dbV2
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseDjdjdkoalsjsudksksjdjdj https://t.co/S5QMBBXWEi @joaniesucks I dream of a high neck wedding dress.Everything is terrible, but here is Benne trying to go on the lam with an entire bag of grapes. https://t.co/VaeTwcv9sZ
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseMe: wow heard the AC was bad for the environment :( better cut down!!! Also me: *CRANKS UP MY CENTRAL AC TO THE ULTIMATE LIMIT*omg https://t.co/LAazzHSnxJ
7/21
2019
This heat wave has the catcallers sluggish and confused. The construction workers on my block were yelling things l… https://t.co/jewuhveeuM
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseOnce you got in, you were basically here for good, unless you got into radical left wing politics. Nothing like the… https://t.co/kMCXMMcU1W
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseWhite people insisting their European ancestors came “legally” during a period where the US had open borders and di… https://t.co/Uy0bNZxojJ
Retweeted by Ashley Reese @_matthewlawson Happy bday!the movie ‘yesterday’ but danny dyer is the only person who remembers vine
Retweeted by Ashley Reese @daniecal The clothes are just *chefs kiss*This kind of access journalism is so corrosive. https://t.co/vLoRxtj9aGAnd it’s Tucker Carlson who’s interviewing her. https://t.co/ovUDcpWRxy @AsiaChloeBrown I love her“It came out of left field.” Narrator: It did not. https://t.co/zi3TB40whX
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseGive @ChristyRomano all the credit for all of us knowing that we went to the moon... in 1969. Not 1970 but a year… https://t.co/4BmlqLW3v9
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseHoly shit https://t.co/7eCEQhZKRYI know we went to the moon in 1969 because of Ren Stevens
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseI’m really screaming how do people end up being this stupid? https://t.co/XMbZl8gQVTThe 1995 Chicago heat wave killed over 700 people. Check in on the elderly. https://t.co/fVwm2ydfUM
Retweeted by Ashley Reese @elluithauren Miranda or Jack?https://t.co/vTg7HwkTVy
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseI want my friend out.. I appreciate you trying to help him. But while your at it @realDonaldTrump can you also let those kids out of cages?
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseDinkleberg: Timmy Turner’s Dad: https://t.co/63nyDaVaNO
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseNow that it's officially the 50th anniversary of the moon landing, here's a lovely video of Buzz Aldrin punching a… https://t.co/zWFTiT0kEa
Retweeted by Ashley Reese @marsisbored I’ve thought about doing something like this too. NYC apartment also just accumulate grime so quickly… https://t.co/wzUQnwIVJJ @maxeduction With his lil shortsomg he was stanning beyonce, with his lil shorts awww https://t.co/cPfVG8zU5T
Retweeted by Ashley Reesenyc goths, stay strong. this heat will pass, your will to wear all black and be goth to your core will not.
Retweeted by Ashley Reese @BlckPowerBottom @PageSix OMGLMFAO Trump call made it worse https://t.co/jLt0oPt11N
Retweeted by Ashley Reese @meaganrosae Ahhh that sounds fun @meaganrosae Who are you seeingI just straight up don’t remember 2017.Just wanted to share the craziest shit I seen/heard today https://t.co/cnpDZNmEsc
Retweeted by Ashley Reeserich people contacting other rich + racist people in order to free another rich person who doesn’t care about poor… https://t.co/LHPnazrfQ9
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseDo sitcoms with laugh tracks still do that thing where instead of a real episode it’s just 95% clips from old episodes stringed together? @_grendan I asked him and he said Steam! @kmcdonovgh ChillApparently the iron production is steady.Rob is currently obsessed with a game called Workers and Resources Soviet Republic which is basically like a city b… https://t.co/ZTjs1mHome @trillharris I don’t hate it! But honestly it stressed me out to watch him play it. So much fighting with monsters. @disparate It has its moments.Meanwhile the heat index in Chicago sits at 105 and Pitchfork Music Festival is still going, because the city knows… https://t.co/QHSwNKZg3v
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseIf I have to walk into the living room one day and hear Henry Cavill ask someone if they want to play gwent or some… https://t.co/JSUzDkfM2FAs if watching my boyfriend play this game nonstop for months wasn’t enough!!!!!!!!!!!! https://t.co/32TWbc1TrM @AkilahObviously @thebasementtan I’m drooling @ these clothesHi, Twitter! I completed this project on July 19, 2019. Here you can enjoy all 647 unique outfits worn by Marlo Tho… https://t.co/Gm6lTnGKzn
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseLike, I’m so mad that Rachel and Courtney Cox even let chandler and Joey do that to them!!!!!!!Ash-Ash La Bahn Mi https://t.co/yMY5Y4ub3GThis apartment swap subplot on Friends is so unrealistic. Two of your friends forcing you out of your apartment ove… https://t.co/yq2Ck3MsRkI’m so confused by all the different 90 Day Fiancé titles. What is the chronological order?????almost accidentally got handed the artist wristband of Parquet Courts’s Austin Brown #P4kFest
Retweeted by Ashley Reese @ecareyo https://t.co/1AFa5NSIfj
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseWow https://t.co/xcKslXQRq3
Retweeted by Ashley Reese @marsisbored It is def a pick me thing. They love weird hygiene shit as if they’ve never skipped a shower in their lives @etherealbunny like I hate the fetishization of labor and everything but I would never admit to having this much time in the day lol @fffffrida Taqueria Milear, taquiera Saint marks, tacos Morelos (specifically the chorizo burrito)lol https://t.co/MQxObe0eE7 @marsisbored She has to be lying...some of you have enough time in the day to take 3+ showers on average within a 24 hour period? https://t.co/HherXXN4Ma @domcamatic Hit me up! @_Demisa How her shower feels seeing her coming in for the 4th shower https://t.co/60LvHbdrlw
Retweeted by Ashley ReeseMayor Pete looks like the type of dude to rub his hands together and say somethin like “Ohhh boy, come to papa” whe… https://t.co/Eh9V2hqYsn
Retweeted by Ashley Reese @husselrose This might be the one year anniversary of That Night. Or maybe it was in June. Or August. WHATEVER, WHAT A NIGHT. @husselrose U betta @tigerhologram The indie/garage/disco-punk one! @tigerhologram I do have an extra free ticket... @rosavertov (This being a thing, not your mom specifically lool) @rosavertov I didn’t know about thisI think I’m just gonna go next month, ya girl is kinda exhausted
7/20
2019

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