Sign in with Twitter


Jewish American Disney Princess. @HarlanCoben once compared me to a whiskey sour without the whiskey.

1,312 Following   374,465 Followers   116,501 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/28/10

@TheEricGoldman Why can’t they just steal from people who won’t notice it??? I actually need my money.Breyer and Ginsburg don’t have 4 more years in them, so vote for the goddamn nominee please. I don’t want a 7-2 m…
Retweeted by The Volatile Mermaid @TerryFNJackson Thank you my friend @LaLaDMai Thank you. They’ll help me out eventually. They don’t seem to get the urgency. @ilyseh Oh hell yes. I want witches on my side way more than any mortals. @AngryBlackLady After the investigation they’ll credit me in 10-15 days. Just in time to pay next months bills! @petemcafee Send something to BLM on my behalf. @FleetwoodZiggy You’re sweet but I’ll survive. @Valkyr101 2 weeks. Yay. @AngryBlackLady If i find out who fucked my life this badly I will give you names. @TujungaDude That is very kind of you. But plenty of people need help more than me. I’ll be ok. But really thank you. @oldmanweldon @emrazz @RalphNader @AOC He’s 86. She has repeatedly denied to respond to him. Doesn’t she deserve th… that it's something you shouldn't trust Republicans to do?
Retweeted by The Volatile MermaidMood👏🏽👏🏽👇🏽👇🏽. A WORD has been spoken!
Retweeted by The Volatile Mermaid @HarlanCoben Ruby says hi. Can I bring her to your book tour how they want us to pay our landlords during a pandemic while they allow Hillary to live in their heads rent… @AntifaDiPalma I just hate the “women owe me their time” bullshit. Maybe that’s not what this particular instance i… @jamisonfoser @espiers Using euphemisms for the word “lies” is called Habermansplaining @AntifaDiPalma It’s got a real Ben Shapiro DEBATE ME YOU COWARD vibe @AntifaDiPalma @AntifaDiPalma Plus the vibe of his tweet is creepy as fuck. She’s not gonna go out with you bro. @AntifaDiPalma Why is this dude still talking? What advice could he possibly give AOC? How to help fuck an election… @joke2power @Buddhist68 @PaymanBenz SHHH NO THEY’LL HEAR YOU DON’T GIVE THEM IDEAS @abbygov Sometimes I have to google your young people slang to understand your tweets. Feel free to ok boomer me ev… if Republicans wanted people not to die as much as they want people not to vote. @stefanadler The guy who helped cost us an election, the direct result of which was a pointless war based 100% on lies, demands to be heard.FYI guys if a woman doesn’t respond to you “despite repeated requests” you aren’t offering her advice or trying to… AOC replies “Ok boomer” to this she should get the Nobel Peace Prize. @Mobute I seriously thought you made that up until I actually read the article @emrazz @RalphNader @AOC His tweet has real DEBATE ME YOU COWARD energy @thisistherevolt I doubt even his wife doesDick Cheney hatched from a clutch of eggs congealing in a sewer in Hell and nobody gave him shit about his citizens…
DENTIST: I need you to open up more ME: i worry that all my friends secretly dislike me
Retweeted by The Volatile MermaidThis is the guy who's destroying the post office, by the way. Know your enemy - it's guys with tacky watches and m…
Retweeted by The Volatile Mermaid @VonDecarlo Thank you, Queen Von. @a31213121312 That’s quite a stretch. Also, I write jokes. If you don’t like them then you don’t have to follow me. @smilesjustcuz @reesewaters I love when they have tattoos so they’re easily identified once these videos surface. @reesewaters Karenavirus strikes againWhat did I fucking say? @a31213121312 I didn’t mention gender at all in fact. @a31213121312 How did I gender genitalia? I didn’t say did a man write this I said did a penis write this.Did a penis write this’s certainly quite the slogan.
Retweeted by The Volatile Mermaid @cristela9 Sarah Sanders and I were both born in August of 1982. Evil ages you.I am a 1st-gen Mex-American. I made history by being: 1st Latina to create/write/star in network sitcom 1st Latina…
Retweeted by The Volatile Mermaid @cristela9 Both born in 1974. @jeneuston I’m the exact same age as Sarah Sanders, 2 weeks apart, and it makes me feel extremely young and hot tbh… @OhNoSheTwitnt But now you know there was a man named Alex Jones and that he saved me.
Retweeted by The Volatile MermaidHe’s only 8 years older than me and he looks old enough to be my dad if my dad were a deadbeat piece of shit conspi… Jones is the same age as Leonardo DiCaprio. the GOP to the ground and salt the earth beneath it
Retweeted by The Volatile Mermaidlol they’ve got nothing
Retweeted by The Volatile Mermaid he passed a cognitive test! With an A++++I’ve muted this so enjoy being dicks to me amongst yourselves.It’s also how he signs all of his emails. @T_FisherKing I used to have an old Southerner boss at a very terrible job whose name was literally Mr. Whiteman.Literally any woman Biden picked as VP was going to piss some people off but I’m glad he went with one who made Brett Kavanaugh cry. @T_FisherKing But why must it be a black woman or a woman of color or a woman at all? Won’t someone give white men a chance?! @cristela9 She’s just so ambitious and unlikable.Really upset that Biden picked A Woman But Not That Woman as his VP. I might have voted if he had picked A Hypothet… @LEBassett Hillary being called over-prepared really fucking kills me as we’re on month 6 of a virus we could have…
@OhNoSheTwitnt She was literally called “too charismatic” yesterday lollll
Retweeted by The Volatile Mermaid @OhNoSheTwitnt Schrodinger's candidate.
Retweeted by The Volatile MermaidLet’s just start calling Trump’s attacks on the @USPS as his #WarOnChristmasCards and see where that goes.
Retweeted by The Volatile Mermaid @LEBassett I’m deleting my account because I don’t think I will ever stop screaming long enough to tweet @LEBassett @LEBassett Jesus fucking ChristIt’s actually hilarious watching Fox News people’s heads exploding because they can’t figure out which angle to att… don’t have to be the father of a daughter to know that sexual assault is bad. You myopic motherfuckers need to stop with this shit.FYI you don’t have to like Kamala Harris to know that racism and misogyny are bad.Fox News: Kamala is too liberal she’s too moderate she’s too conservative she’s too black she’s not black enough sh… F-ING SHIT @sarahcpr @nlyonne @KnaveRupe @michaelianblack Oh I like you @ziwe @ABRAMSbooks I want a signed copy and I’ll pay doubleI'm writing a book with @ABRAMSbooks
Retweeted by The Volatile Mermaid @ScottPPeriod I COULD BE ONE OF YOUR KIDS @duarteamanda Let’s make this happen. @HeatherWhaley @rabiasquared We should start a club. No wait clubs are for kids. We should form a gang. @rabiasquared I’m white and wearing yoga pants and a tank top right now but it’s only because I just finished worki… @JulieKlam @MollyJongFast @michaelianblack MLK’s I Have A Dream speech was 8/28 too. @rabiasquared Except he seems to think “suburban housewife” means some lady who does nothing but cook and clean whi… Wealthy racist white moms will vote for me because they don’t want the blacks moving on to their cul-d… @MollyJongFast @michaelianblack I’m the 28th so I’m on the cusp of Leo and Virgo. Which means I’m a lion who never… @sko_pi @michaelianblack Everybody’s birthday is all about me. Even Jesus’ birthday. Also my birthday is in 2 weeks. @michaelianblack I also just got a job after being unemployed for almost 3 months. In your FACE, bitch!Happy birthday to @michaelianblack who told me in person that I’m better at Twitter than he is and I will never let… @girlsreallyrule @soledadobrien @MidwinCharles It’s like how NYT Maggie loves to make up things to call lies instead of just saying… be a likable woman candidate just follow these simple rules: Don’t be old, don’t be young, don’t be middle aged,…
Retweeted by The Volatile Mermaid @mel_med_larson You can do a search you know @barronmediaarts @samichmachine I mean, not to mention she’s running against Mike Pence. He’s not exactly a champion for LGBT rights.Ben Shapiro: DEBATE ME YOU COWARD! Kamala: Ok. Ben Shapiro: Well I (runs away sobbing)Shout out to everyone who has the courage and conviction to congratulate Senator #KamalaHarris without a caveat or…
Retweeted by The Volatile Mermaid @indyfromspace @sarahcpr @JimmyKimmelLive This Sarah agreesI would watch a show that was just Kamala Harris making a different shitty white dude cry each episode. Kamala In Cars Making Men Cry.