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Joined Twitter 4/29/09

@slippish Oh, but even then it would have to be 6-1. I don’t think 1-0 is possible @slippish A one-point safety is technically possible but I always figured it was incredibly unlikely
I just learned that making amateur-radio contact with a relay satellite is called "squirting the bird" so I'm going to bed now @DanaSchwartzzz @greg_doucette Sister Act 3 @CNNRGLDN @Hegelbon @ConnorSouthard @notch I did 23andme and the results just called me a "saltine ass motherfucker… @AGoldmund Might need to get that checked out
@ArmyStrang It makes sense if you read it as something he's happy about @robwhisman happy birthday man @TaylorRMarshall Wow, thou doth protest too fuckin muchhooooooooly fuckin moses @pr0spector88 Damn itTo this day, the best one-liner I've ever heard was @ByYourLogic's "When you're on Birthright and get head from a g…"@YoungBasedGod_g: @realDonaldTrump your dad gives good brain?? Damn" It's called genes!
Retweeted by oxwofVEVOI don't know what I expected during the Army/Navy game, but almost every commercial is shameless military fluffing. Amazing @gospodyina @bridger_w that's better @bridger_w is your therapist a squirrel @lukeisamazing @baxbooksdeux @ConnorSouthard @disco_socialist @Atrios that's just kinky @baxbooksdeux @ConnorSouthard @disco_socialist @Atrios I love working someone up into a good stemwinder @RWidenor @BritishBakeOff [Mary Berry voice] stodgyReddit is mostly bad but the other day I learned on that website that the Menendez Brothers are in the background o…
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @maplecocaine @muhmentions No one will ever know whether you're telling the truth or not bc who watches the tonys @muhmentions @maplecocaine "And now, The Helldude" somewhat convincingly ) anyway, I will catch you later man
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @SqueebyJeebies I have brain damage from online and so the image of trump showering entered my head. It’s bad
@chrissyteigen Unless you're in Europe where purple is currant. Not a fan @greg_doucette E X E C U T I V E R A T I O @DellyFact I'm so happy for you @Cmdr_Hadfield Burnout-wheelie @EyeonOhio Wednesday Bowie is sort of the anti-@cushbomb nameEveryone in law twitter on PACER right now: |: F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 :| @ConnorSouthard Cleveland's gonna throw a fucking parade for Delly @neorsd What if he comes back but uses five (5) flushable wipes a day. What then @DellyFact OMG screaming at this, my god
Retweeted by oxwofVEVOI'm sorry, who @KenJennings He can announce the award categories all at once at there can be that sound @blunted215 I'm a prison abolitionist as well, but as long as we HAVE them, this guy should super get it @bransonreese Those are called tv shows @TomKludt @cushbomb You wouldn’t need too many troops tbh @samstein 5:30 grows closer @baxbooksdeux “Inexpensive product sells better than similar expensive product” @brianstelter @CNN IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THIS BRIAN @Calimocho14 @bbclaurak I think the actual exit, if it happens, will happen in the spring no matter when the Common… we're discussing our favourite tumblr moments ... this decade old image just screamed into my brain
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @911VICTIM4EVR But they still dress the same bc they don’t know how not toHow have I never seen this before? This is the Ali-standing-over-Sonny-Liston of basketball photos and many others. Drop to your knees, Sugar, and say thank you, Mr. Trump.
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @ArmyStrang 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon but for Felix and podcasts @ancientcarelord @ConnorSouthard Stealing Xenu valor is such an incredible flex @lib_crusher why are you doing this @lib_crusher what in the world @floozyesq oh my FUCKING god @Jforan23 @stevieanntas @john_smith0001 @beedogvolcano @ColBurns1954 @fraser_anning @bushplato James Foreskin @twitersgoodboy Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close ok im done now.@KenJennings's mentions must be lit today
@lib_crusher The existence of that has never occurred to me @lib_crusher gløgg is legit fuckin good @blippoblappo I don't want to know any more context about this bc it's beautiful as it is @danmoulthrop @serial @WCPN @tinypatron @RachelDissell @llmiller12 @newsmanual Looking forward to the event next Saturday!Cops are the most pathetic people
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @MattKoogler wtf @MattKoogler Bullshit they didn’t have Tupperware when you were 30 #rackem @AP STOP TRYING TO MAKE ANDY SAMBERG HAPPEN
@adamsteinbaugh Low-key the most 2018 thing to happen @spartacvs @normal_now Plastic-ass Canadian fun bucks @spartacvs @normal_now Ok, that makes sense (sort of) @willmenaker @cushbomb @QanonAnonymous @GarbageApe The organist will start playing "I Fought The Law." That's the signal @normal_now OK, for real, I spent a few days downtown there last winter and like 1/3 of the people had Canada Goose… @katewitko FUN FACT: If the episode doesn't air, the contestants don't get to keep the prizes they "won" [1] [1] T… @normal_now Not sure why Belgium is celebrating but okBig Mood @Dan_Hope Just one maximum break? FOHGeorge Bush died for my day off tomorrowI call this Suns score the “Roy Moore”
Retweeted by oxwofVEVOYou mean voting didn't do it?
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @Ugarles You reminded me of this legendary tweet @neorsd HYDROELECTRIC DAM TURBINE: It's a livin'
@2tallmountains You know how the Iraqi Ba’ath party would give red cards to people immediately before they executed… @findlayassholes Don’t give up on him yet @cnnbrk Will she be ok @leahmcelrath @Bro_Pair Do they make corncob dildos @tony_ganzer And comparing it to his predecessor’s plaintive “o-order” really brings out the contrast @twitersgoodboy But instead of “Mueller doesn’t sleep, he waits” it’s “Mueller gets exactly 8 hours of sleep every…'s cool how Macron was the neoliberals wet dream, now Paris is in flames and some random schmuck named like Claud…
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @SoFiSupport Customer here. On my recommendation my wife refinanced some student loans with you over the weekend bu… @baxbooksdeux let’s just run crushingbort @jon_snow_420 @IllyBocean trimp stimp @jon_snow_420 @IllyBocean Do sheep in NZ go “biiiiiiiiiii”? @jon_snow_420 @IllyBocean YOU HIV WON A HIMme: I have a degree in marine science and I've been working in this field for years also me: leggy boi
Retweeted by oxwofVEVOHas he tried giving them what they want @ByYourLogic The Godfather (1972) festive
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @EyeonOhio Yeah, for now. But if they order a new election or something it’ll get all the coverage @MurderBryan Damn that tree thicc af @EyeonOhio Wow
@2tallmountains I think, like, it takes away options. Which is nice and refreshing. You won't be switching tracks e… @MattKoogler @natmalski (I haven't read this particular one, but I roll my eyes every time I see "blockchain" at this point) @MattKoogler @natmalski For real, it just seems like people say "How about we do the blockchain" for anything and n… @firescotch RT @firescotch Might stay locked forever retweets are trash