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231 Following   65 Followers   15,895 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/29/09


@batmans_robyn https://t.co/wRCkP6vvkKErnie is pansexual, Bert is asexual. This is canon https://t.co/IfZb3saMWH @Bro_Pair Projecting Right Onto The Screen @AstroKatie Ans then you realize he already has all that and just wants his lifetime appointment to be on a HIGHER court @danfarrelly Thank you for this display name @EyeonOhio I once went there to see a Christian band my cousin is in, and I've never seen the beer sales so poor @twitersgoodboy Bring Back Craig Ferguson @embirdened @curaffairs Now, should they? Yes, because they would win @embirdened @curaffairs If the Dems ran Oprah, they'd win in a walk @findlayassholes Honestly, every time I'm back in Findlay I want to look up how much it would cost me to put up my own billboard rebuttal @embirdened Sigh @embirdened @curaffairs Yeah, I know this is a stale take now, but the damage that Sorkin did to politics on the le… https://t.co/hGktWEG3EO @embirdened If this is a story for much longer in this election though, the WH might just pull the nomination to stop the bleeding @embirdened If it does go through, it might light up lib/left voters to the importance of turning out for elections… https://t.co/K4gedB90LGfuck it let's do it again
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the pastgoing to be a bit of turmoil this week as conservatives decide between their two leading schools of thought, "he di… https://t.co/0MVcQy0n6U
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the past
9/24
2018
@twitersgoodboy @firescotch Bears are even money against Alabama and a comfortable but not prohibitive favorite against Ohio StateKavanaugh is the living embodiment of this tweet https://t.co/VLw1JteF17
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the pastSENATE: [Asks question] KAVANAUGH: I don't recall SENATE: [Asks question] KAVANAUGH: I don't recall [Gets accused o… https://t.co/zx7VMigiUQ
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the pastThis but EXTREMELY ironically https://t.co/1mammrEfGL @Bro_Pair Assuming these calendars are even real, who the fuck keeps calendars from 35 years agoThe wine imparts a foreign bitterness. How could he betray me? We were brothers. I fall to the ground. Execute a partial curl. One last rep.
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the pastAS THE GUILLOTINE SLIDES TOWARDS MY NECK, I PRODUCE A TINY BARBELL I'VE BEEN HIDING IN MY MOUTH AND LIFT IT WITH MY TONGUE. ONE LAST REP
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the pastI DRIVE OFF OF A CLIFF AND SCRAMBLE TO RIP THE AXLE OFF OF MY CAR AND LIFT IT ABOVE MY HEAD AS I PLUMMET TOWARDS CERTAIN DOOM. ONE LAST REP
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the past[to the tune of spoon man] choom gang
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the past
9/23
2018
@bransonreese Ah, the past exonerative case @MattKooglerPE Kinda surprised the IRS never noticed @MattKooglerPE Plus they can pocket the cash without it being documented for taxes @KrangTNelson 🌽The Dip https://t.co/VsOXgzLrMVOh my god https://t.co/noSaZIAuAT
9/22
2018
Don't shoot anyone celebrating https://t.co/93OQsgqWSM
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the pastJOE BUCK: Welcome to the top of the 47th [Sun rises] [Sun keeps getting bigger] BUCK: yes [World engulfed by flames] BUCK: oh god yes
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the past
9/21
2018
@floozyesq Not [clap] all [clap] Domis [clap?] @AllezLesBoulez @kept_simple [Walks up uninvited] https://t.co/OIiNZ9hUkiThis is just regular, unadorned Little Caesar's https://t.co/MTkWJoxt9R @Popehat I figured you saw Krang's tweet at the same time I did @Popehat LOOK AT BRAH LOOK AT BRAH @KrangTNelson Easy there Ahmed @Hegelbon I mean, I suppose that if a drug guy was bad enough that he got Interpol's attention, then he might have… https://t.co/xQljg0YuCp @Hegelbon Hey, I actually worked at the US Interpol bureau where I reported to DEA special agents. So at least your… https://t.co/yXiCK5EAiW @greg_doucette How the hell do you keep attracting these unbearable logic-lords? @newsmanual Where in Cedar-Fairmount did you live? I spent a few years in that neighborhood
9/20
2018
[EXTREMELY MARTIN PRICE VOICE] https://t.co/Z9jLCENa9K @greg_doucette [Martin Prince voice] https://t.co/7GS94psPkFIt would soon be flying far too low https://t.co/JPbW0hSOyR @jon_snow_420 Your doc looks weird as hellElmo: Elmo fell down and hurt his knee! Muppet Paul Ryan: you're going to die. Should have saved up for medical bills Elmo: Elmo is only 3
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the past @CHAPOTRAPHOUSE Thanks Virgil
9/19
2018
Toad chode. Thank you @TSquare87 https://t.co/cHorJFBi5S @twitersgoodboy This tweet violated the Geneva conventionsso long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the pasti have dighed https://t.co/FXbVcvOX6FHey Siri how do you delete a mental image forever @APEntertainment @AP How long did it take you guys to decide how to spell aaaaayyy
9/18
2018
@crushingbort Don't sign, your tweetsi cant imagine why anyone would want to keep a journal i spend enough time using my unaided memory to dwell on past… https://t.co/oyNqqrpqV9
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the past @APStylebook https://t.co/0TbR0KYvxxObama should have nominated Anita HillAn effective opposition party would be doing this all the time https://t.co/mgr56vjvM0Because he has aspirations of becoming a millionaire https://t.co/27RfnHnzhv
9/17
2018
@AP That's interesting because you originally deleted the tweet when it said women and changed it to prostitutesNo https://t.co/nP5R8PHK9MWho the Jesus is watching 50 shows https://t.co/rbkyAzxbSS @crushingbort We use the term "alpha" a lot on here,me: girl from high school who never left my hometown: 𝕁𝕖𝕤𝕦𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕃𝕆ℝ𝔻 in HIM i am 𝓇𝑒𝒹𝑒𝑒𝓂𝑒𝒹 Galatians 69:420 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐞 * ʏօɢǟ * 𝓒𝓗𝓡𝓘𝓢𝓣
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the past @katewitko Cool, Cindy McCainEvery TCU offensive skill player is the same 175 pound dude who looks like he's made of baling wire and runs like h… https://t.co/JX6sQmZDo4
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the past @ConnorSouthard Nah. Game’s going how I imagined it might. It’s just weird that this is being called neutral @ConnorSouthard This is like OSU playing at Columbus Crew’s stadium and calling it neutral
9/16
2018
@MarkSimoneNY https://t.co/EUGiXLB1EWSweet Jesus there aren’t 65 women from my high school who remember that I exist https://t.co/EgcT2FLpCO @AceAnbender Jon Cooper circa 1999 @ConnorSouthard I came off protected to say: delet this @muhmentions The mic dicta subreddit wants to know how the music interstitials work. I don't think it's fair use; i… https://t.co/lPc69t9KAl @MattKooglerPE It was actually your social security number #changemymindJack got his name from whacking off https://t.co/6IBYSClyAAThere isn’t one. I used a character string generator until I got a pronounceable five-letter string https://t.co/2yTvJQVP5BSara Skin Infection https://t.co/aYhzDT0lDF
9/15
2018
@Moth_Parable 🗣TAKE MY MONEY AND BUY KRATOM WITH IT @CTMQ I’ll trust you on that @CTMQ Moonshine is the only appropriate mason jar beverageDEVELOPING: Victim of deadly plane crash had not put mobile device in “airplane mode” for takeoff https://t.co/jciemFyVrq
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the past @muhmentions [twitter voice] im the hell site @muhmentions Welcome back to the hell site @katewitko wow im right hereEvery single person involved in publishing this story should be fired https://t.co/WuuSTtuJ6o
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the pastI can't believe they're writing about me without my permission https://t.co/6bxjnv9UeP
9/14
2018
Very carefully https://t.co/xDpyIxQYvR @cushbomb Jigsaw puzzle lookin ass state @embirdened fuck yeah @MattKooglerPE How hard would it be for the delete button to delete the tweet and reopen it in the compose window s… https://t.co/ojCZ0YQ5hi @Hegelbon I took a quick poll of Twitter and none of us think you're garbage except the TERFs
9/13
2018
Notice something? Summit Academy Parma teachers have only grown in strength and numbers since they first formed the… https://t.co/kyqpN7EswY
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the pastEvergreen tweet tbh https://t.co/wo9qw0iv5YDon’t tell me about a “united” feeling after 9/11 It was shaky and crappy. You couldn’t play John fucking Lennon on… https://t.co/fl7halzwmA
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the past
9/12
2018
@scribblepotemus Also: Why can’t we politicize the event that precipitated a turn to proto-fascism and endless war?Never forget Bill Moro, who bowled a perfect game on 9/11 https://t.co/e99e4L8GDH
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the pastWhat I ask about my ass every day before leaving the house. https://t.co/AOphcyCUEy
Retweeted by beating off ceaselessly into the past
9/11
2018

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