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241 Following   70 Followers   16,540 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/29/09


@slippish Oh, but even then it would have to be 6-1. I don’t think 1-0 is possible @slippish A one-point safety is technically possible but I always figured it was incredibly unlikely
12/10
2018
I just learned that making amateur-radio contact with a relay satellite is called "squirting the bird" so I'm going to bed now @DanaSchwartzzz @greg_doucette Sister Act 3 @CNNRGLDN @Hegelbon @ConnorSouthard @notch I did 23andme and the results just called me a "saltine ass motherfucker… https://t.co/AYRfVW7wMH @AGoldmund Might need to get that checked out
12/9
2018
@ArmyStrang It makes sense if you read it as something he's happy about @robwhisman happy birthday man @TaylorRMarshall Wow, thou doth protest too fuckin muchhooooooooly fuckin moses https://t.co/CMDB31Q6dz @pr0spector88 Damn itTo this day, the best one-liner I've ever heard was @ByYourLogic's "When you're on Birthright and get head from a g… https://t.co/gi0s7sUqhL"@YoungBasedGod_g: @realDonaldTrump your dad gives good brain?? Damn" It's called genes!
Retweeted by oxwofVEVOI don't know what I expected during the Army/Navy game, but almost every commercial is shameless military fluffing. Amazing @gospodyina @bridger_w that's better @bridger_w is your therapist a squirrel @lukeisamazing @baxbooksdeux @ConnorSouthard @disco_socialist @Atrios that's just kinky @baxbooksdeux @ConnorSouthard @disco_socialist @Atrios I love working someone up into a good stemwinder @RWidenor @BritishBakeOff [Mary Berry voice] stodgyReddit is mostly bad but the other day I learned on that website that the Menendez Brothers are in the background o… https://t.co/gE6uF3Yel9
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @maplecocaine @muhmentions No one will ever know whether you're telling the truth or not bc who watches the tonys @muhmentions @maplecocaine "And now, The Helldude" https://t.co/uiTNjhPyRs(Laughing somewhat convincingly ) anyway, I will catch you later man
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @SqueebyJeebies I have brain damage from online and so the image of trump showering entered my head. It’s bad
12/8
2018
@chrissyteigen Unless you're in Europe where purple is currant. Not a fan @greg_doucette E X E C U T I V E R A T I O @DellyFact I'm so happy for you @Cmdr_Hadfield Burnout-wheelie @EyeonOhio Wednesday Bowie is sort of the anti-@cushbomb nameEveryone in law twitter on PACER right now: |: F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 :| @ConnorSouthard Cleveland's gonna throw a fucking parade for Delly @neorsd What if he comes back but uses five (5) flushable wipes a day. What then @DellyFact OMG https://t.co/fYqlcAWWSoAbsolutely screaming at this, my god https://t.co/okwOJK2KIY
Retweeted by oxwofVEVOI'm sorry, who https://t.co/0ZivNIlBdA @KenJennings He can announce the award categories all at once at there can be that sound @blunted215 I'm a prison abolitionist as well, but as long as we HAVE them, this guy should super get it @bransonreese Those are called tv shows @TomKludt @cushbomb You wouldn’t need too many troops tbh @samstein 5:30 grows closer @baxbooksdeux “Inexpensive product sells better than similar expensive product” @brianstelter @CNN IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THIS BRIAN @Calimocho14 @bbclaurak I think the actual exit, if it happens, will happen in the spring no matter when the Common… https://t.co/oa0jklM5Xpif we're discussing our favourite tumblr moments ... this decade old image just screamed into my brain https://t.co/KSiE2jk1IZ
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @911VICTIM4EVR But they still dress the same bc they don’t know how not toHow have I never seen this before? This is the Ali-standing-over-Sonny-Liston of basketball photos https://t.co/Cj0hTpVmGa... and many others. Drop to your knees, Sugar, and say thank you, Mr. Trump.
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @ArmyStrang 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon but for Felix and podcasts @ancientcarelord @ConnorSouthard Stealing Xenu valor is such an incredible flex @lib_crusher why are you doing this @lib_crusher what in the world @floozyesq oh my FUCKING god @Jforan23 @stevieanntas @john_smith0001 @beedogvolcano @ColBurns1954 @fraser_anning @bushplato James Foreskin @twitersgoodboy Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close ok im done now.@KenJennings's mentions must be lit today https://t.co/j2IleIBS55
12/7
2018
@lib_crusher The existence of that has never occurred to me @lib_crusher gløgg is legit fuckin good @blippoblappo I don't want to know any more context about this bc it's beautiful as it is https://t.co/BqcIKMM0eE @danmoulthrop @serial @WCPN @tinypatron @RachelDissell @llmiller12 @newsmanual Looking forward to the event next Saturday!Cops are the most pathetic people
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @MattKoogler wtf @MattKoogler Bullshit they didn’t have Tupperware when you were 30 #rackem @AP STOP TRYING TO MAKE ANDY SAMBERG HAPPEN
12/6
2018
@adamsteinbaugh Low-key the most 2018 thing to happen @spartacvs @normal_now Plastic-ass Canadian fun bucks @spartacvs @normal_now Ok, that makes sense (sort of) @willmenaker @cushbomb @QanonAnonymous @GarbageApe The organist will start playing "I Fought The Law." That's the signal @normal_now OK, for real, I spent a few days downtown there last winter and like 1/3 of the people had Canada Goose… https://t.co/ymqJVC2ozq @katewitko FUN FACT: If the episode doesn't air, the contestants don't get to keep the prizes they "won" [1] [1] T… https://t.co/2mazEHw0G0 @normal_now Not sure why Belgium is celebrating but okBig Mood https://t.co/RYoMwBp6v0 @Dan_Hope Just one maximum break? FOHGeorge Bush died for my day off tomorrowI call this Suns score the “Roy Moore” https://t.co/hXKI9KbFmr
Retweeted by oxwofVEVOYou mean voting didn't do it? https://t.co/ciLw6CfsSX
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @Ugarles You reminded me of this legendary tweet https://t.co/V1XbqfCTE1 @neorsd HYDROELECTRIC DAM TURBINE: It's a livin'
12/5
2018
@2tallmountains You know how the Iraqi Ba’ath party would give red cards to people immediately before they executed… https://t.co/WzF5CakJqu @findlayassholes Don’t give up on him yet @cnnbrk Will she be ok @leahmcelrath @Bro_Pair Do they make corncob dildos @tony_ganzer And comparing it to his predecessor’s plaintive “o-order” really brings out the contrast @twitersgoodboy But instead of “Mueller doesn’t sleep, he waits” it’s “Mueller gets exactly 8 hours of sleep every… https://t.co/xS7D8rlmGKIt's cool how Macron was the neoliberals wet dream, now Paris is in flames and some random schmuck named like Claud… https://t.co/vGI9GM7UOK
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @SoFiSupport Customer here. On my recommendation my wife refinanced some student loans with you over the weekend bu… https://t.co/g39IFDTHzU @baxbooksdeux let’s just run crushingbort @jon_snow_420 @IllyBocean trimp stimp https://t.co/UpsCYnHvU7 @jon_snow_420 @IllyBocean Do sheep in NZ go “biiiiiiiiiii”? @jon_snow_420 @IllyBocean YOU HIV WON A HIMme: I have a degree in marine science and I've been working in this field for years also me: leggy boi https://t.co/QgY47OGOv3
Retweeted by oxwofVEVOHas he tried giving them what they want https://t.co/Ps7LGQFr7L @ByYourLogic The Godfather (1972) https://t.co/2gC5JjhpISGetting festive https://t.co/BNCJn18ops
Retweeted by oxwofVEVO @EyeonOhio Yeah, for now. But if they order a new election or something it’ll get all the coverage @MurderBryan Damn that tree thicc af @EyeonOhio Wow https://t.co/BzxYTaeb0o
12/4
2018
@2tallmountains I think, like, it takes away options. Which is nice and refreshing. You won't be switching tracks e… https://t.co/lEOtM7QSNR @MattKoogler @natmalski (I haven't read this particular one, but I roll my eyes every time I see "blockchain" at this point) @MattKoogler @natmalski For real, it just seems like people say "How about we do the blockchain" for anything and n… https://t.co/QOzL42OOnc @firescotch RT @firescotch Might stay locked forever retweets are trash
12/3
2018

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