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163 Following   81 Followers   1,378 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/17/11


Have you ever walked into a port-a-potty and not said ‘damn’?
10/13
2019
I’m only as moist as LA is and rn we dry afI can’t quit buying shit I don’t need cuz I’m so bored hereWhich name wins: Pho King or Good Pho U?
10/10
2019
Still wondering what manner of fire bestia used to cook that fish the other night so perfect
10/9
2019
Skip bread skip a fat ass
10/2
2019
Cheap toilet paper is an assault on the asshole. I lose respect for you if you buy it.
9/30
2019
Never not been into a goodmorning text
9/22
2019
Some nights idgaf about money. I’ll kick everyone out my bar so I can go to sleep.
9/21
2019
After three weeks dog sitting I miss the mutt so bad but I can take a bath without being watched https://t.co/yfdT3cRmX6
9/18
2019
My parents are never able to have a normal response to any medical issue I have. Instead of asking what the doctor… https://t.co/0vhRc8WsJI
9/17
2019
Ok I miss NY
9/14
2019
@LadyOComedy @30SecFight Best movie I’ve ever seen
9/12
2019
Gonna wear the same thing everyday until winter @ArtBoogie My brain will leak out my nose
9/11
2019
What are the long term effects of having to listen to music you hate for hours every night?
9/10
2019
@WHY_BE_ 4x’s to that relationship death curseNever take your boyfriend to Paris
9/8
2019
@WHY_BE_ Was it instead of having to pay the atm fee?
9/1
2019
Can’t wait until I’m not in the hottest city on my weather app
8/29
2019
My face when I know my will to create becomes greater than my will to destroy https://t.co/0oIM68BwG9
8/28
2019
Best way to eat a salad is with chopsticks 🥢
8/25
2019
@Christo5s Navarchou Nikodimou 8. Come by!
8/23
2019
I love people who buy drinks from the kiosk to come hang out outside of my bar 🙃
8/22
2019
My anxiety says alarms clocks are no longer healthy for me.I’m trying to go to Norway
8/20
2019
Why is burping my best medicine
8/18
2019
How come I’m never allowed to have my stank moods?I see you white tourists clutching your bags and kids when you see me. Hope your plane crashes in the Atlantic.
8/16
2019
@xvviel_ @Jmerc495 Say it again @Espantasia @gusdoes The Polynesians did thoSummer should be a choice but yea right we all about to burn.
8/14
2019
I’ve seen dozens of shooting stars on Mykonos and I’ve always wished for the same thing.
8/13
2019
I know for a fact Tisci desinged the uniforms for the bar next door and I’m guessing Virgil did not design these https://t.co/W5nmViYkO0
8/11
2019
Need to get off this boat that was supposed to be 2.5 hours but turned into 6. Really bout to have an anxiety attack 😬
8/10
2019
Show on Netflix where @JerrySeinfeld drives comedians around and they have to fake laugh at his jokes or else he’ll… https://t.co/bMp1LGZUJI
8/9
2019
Left my mexican candy in Paris. Looking up flights to go get it.
8/5
2019
@LadyOComedy @30SecFight Nah he kept it classy @30SecFight Anyone ever spit in my face they would end up in the same condition. That’s my top no no.How is Donalnd Glover gonna make ‘this is America’ and also play Simba? Africans are okay as long as they’re animals.
8/3
2019
Have I lived in Yurp long enough? Do I need to buy speedos?
8/1
2019
@supocupo Him and the furniture guy are the only ones I can stand
7/30
2019
When all these white folk gonna return to their shit hole country?It’s like 468% harder to wash dishes without warm water am I right?
7/29
2019
Where is cold? I need a summer vacation.
7/23
2019
Black cherry black cherry
7/4
2019
First time shaving my head with a knife 🔪
6/13
2019
I love my apartment rn it’s just rugs pillows and plants
6/5
2019
Worst case scenario: mosquito bite on top of old mosquito bite
6/3
2019
Getting play by play texts from friends seeing @fysicaltherapy set at bh is extreme fomo in action
6/2
2019
Finally get to go to Lohan tonight
5/31
2019
I didn’t realize ruggedized is a wordAnd on the fourth day without weed, my life fell apart. Still waiting for those cartridges..
5/16
2019
I need to learn Greeek. Blah.
5/11
2019
Not this upper pubes shaved but ball hairs all long look
5/9
2019
I need friends that actually eat
4/29
2019
@kkingdomm I’m seeing visors @WHY_BE_ I love you @supocupo Never took never did @WHY_BE_ Speaking my liquid
4/28
2019
@TOTAL_FREEDOM_ Scooby snax
4/23
2019
Chopped off my pinky a bit and bled onto everything I own
4/21
2019
It’s 4:20 and my weed doesn’t suck
4/20
2019
@WHY_BE_ @TOTAL_FREEDOM_ Wtf body been cold for too long
4/18
2019
It should be illegal to post a recipe on a website and have the first 10 paragraphs be you bullshitting about what… https://t.co/RHsrxy4JhD
Retweeted by PUS
4/13
2019
That black hole picture scares the shit outta me
4/11
2019
Two months dry but it’s pouring again
4/1
2019
Getting into the front seat of a taxi is step one
3/28
2019
Sweat in my sleep season
3/27
2019
Ghosted on a promoter because I am not a DJGot more than I asked for and I didn’t like itNew Albanian dealer winks at me multiple times during the same interaction
3/26
2019
New York might as well be San Francisco atm. No one cares.
3/23
2019
@KatiePavlich @soledadobrien I feel like you don’t know what you’re talking about
3/20
2019
Why do bucket hats seem to say ‘not tonight’?
3/14
2019
Just need the undying attention of a dog 🐶
3/8
2019
Mark say Marseille
3/2
2019
@WHY_BE_ yes that handleCan I exchange these karma drugs for cash?
2/28
2019
https://t.co/Js6xgqS6Lb
2/24
2019
Mid feb heat source cling
2/15
2019
Does our skin detach from our bodies like a chicken?
2/14
2019
Never shoulda stopped making jockstraps
2/13
2019
I don’t understand the algorithm but the algorithm understands me
2/8
2019
First culture shock moment...everyone speaks English.
1/31
2019
15K kids in concentration camps •WH: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Thousands of kids die due to no healthcare •WH: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hundreds… https://t.co/Z0VqWCQaNl
Retweeted by PUS
1/23
2019
Don’t send me on a Paris shopping mission. You know this is my favorite thing.
1/17
2019
https://t.co/G4ZaL9J7Xs
Retweeted by PUS
1/10
2019
Always looking for my tsinelas. @WHY_BE_ Still seeing people use it on the regular maybe even more than ever 😑Not sure why your ankles are out it’s fucking freezing
1/9
2019
Still spending/spilling
1/7
2019
Sacrificed 100 layers to the god of nightPosting a selfie the split second I get my face back. Never take that circumference for granted.
1/5
2019
How many days will I have to pay for my sins in silvester? (I wasn’t even half as disgusting as I could’ve been)
1/4
2019
@TheKingDream entire sextape been stuck in my head
1/2
2019
It’s also the security at berghain’s job to know exactly where the camera is on every model phone.
1/1
2018
Kreuzberg requiring much Xanax right about now
12/31
2018
I need gai lan
12/22
2018
Any Paris faggots that don’t go to the fitness park in République?
12/21
2018

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