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New Netflix special I LOVE EVERYTHING premieres May 19th!!! IG: pattonoswalt

3,800 Following   4,681,447 Followers   47,187 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/1/10

jfc ANYONE watch this and think this is a good leader? How many gears do you need to strip in your brain to… right 👇👇👇👇👇😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 an interesting article for Europeans to read at a restaurant on vacation
Retweeted by Patton OswaltYeah! Exactly ONE MONTH from today the all-new Season Three of ⁦@APBioPeacock⁩ premieres! Thursday, September 3rd o…
Just got done shopping at the @USPS online store. Got a cool stamp coil, a coil of stamps, a sheet of “Year of the…👇👇👇Yeah Liz!!!!!! actually fantastic idea.
Retweeted by Patton OswaltI totally bought that coil dispenser! Love those! @USPS’m at the @USPS online store. Gonna buy a bunch of cool stamps and a Mr. Zip T-shirt. Probably spend around $50. A… you kidding? That looks great. I will always Blrbk the Blub👇👇👇👇 reached out to @aimeemann — there was no one else that cane near to her voice — and of course she stepped up. A t…❤️❤️❤️ watched the finale of #IllBeGoneintheDark, a truly masterful documentary raising the bar for how stories of…
Retweeted by Patton OswaltTonight’s the last episode of #IllBeGoneInTheDark. I’ve studied the true crime genre going back to Capote and it’s…
Retweeted by Patton OswaltIf you haven't yet watched #IllBeGoneInTheDark on HBO, I thought it was amazing. RIveting and very moving. Everyt…
Retweeted by Patton Oswaltthank you @LizGarbus for your tribute to my late sister-in-law in the brilliant and terrifying #IllBeGoneInTheDark
Retweeted by Patton OswaltDan Clowes
Now that @jimmykimmel has challenged me, I have decided to #VOTE in November. I challenge an all-comic book creator… daughter is a voracious reader. But sometimes we get her a book that she blazes through in a day. This was one…
Comedian and diehard metalhead @thebrianposehn talks Judas Priest, Manowar, Limp Bizkit and Udo Dirkschneider, a.k.…
Retweeted by Patton OswaltThis is quite literally Trump’s America
Retweeted by Patton OswaltJust imagine seeing this image with no context in 2014
Retweeted by Patton OswaltDear @PeabodyAwards, @PulitzerPrizes and @TelevisionAcad : create a lip sync category. Thank you.👇👇👇 x1,000,000,000,000 mean.... I MEAN... you beat obama for president and yr gonna beet him again you got a good brain yay donald MAGGA the fuck is WRONG with people godDAMN
Oh MAN the look on your face as you take the leap. Summon the Furiosa!❤️❤️❤️ Michelle would have LOVED that answer Sunday is the finale of #IllBeGoneInTheDark. Thank you to everyone who’s watched this show. If you can, visit…🙏🙏🙏
Retweeted by Patton OswaltOn behalf of every crew member, actor, scribe, producer and executive involved in WHEN THEY SEE US, I thank @BAFTA
Retweeted by Patton OswaltI'm not as big a "Trump guy" as a lot of my friends on here but the one thing I do like about him is his smile
Retweeted by Patton OswaltYo Alan Dershowitz, remember how I kept asking you over and over again what the fuck was wrong with you when you ke…
Retweeted by Patton OswaltLiz, THANK YOU for making this happen, and seeing it through. I will never be able to repay you. #IllBeGoneInTheDark👇👇👇She’s right. 😂😂!!! Love love love👇👇👇👇👇👇 won't have to worry about my tweets when I'm president.
Retweeted by Patton OswaltDonald, I think we’ll know the results that night. Just have a feeling we will, don’t know why. left isn’t “dancing on Herman Cain’s grave” we’re just hoping that this might finally convince the right to sto…
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be john lewis, and not the other guy
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Retweeted by Patton Oswalt👇👇👇👇👇👇 Calabresi.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt*sigh*👇👇👇👇👇👇 God
Retweeted by Patton OswaltThis is so on the nose it's surreal.
Retweeted by Patton OswaltBy the way, ⁦@realDonaldTrump⁩, I did the whole “inappropriate split Tweet” bit years ago... place to split the Tweet, Donald. As always, grace and finesse! @Doritos — I am handing preparedness command over to my wife. Please acknowledge. reported this Tweet and so should you. This is blatant misinformation. Twitter even had a category now about “spr… sunglasses) I got this (saxophone sting)👇👇👇👇👇👇 EVERYBODY Most people with Covid just have the sniffles. We need to reopen schools ASAP. ALSO TRUMP: Perhaps we shoul…
Retweeted by Patton OswaltNo, Donald.👇👇👇👇👇 realized my “earthquake kit” is a bag of Doritos and one snow boot.This sad, sick death cult. #DieForDonald👇👇👇👇👇👇
this i would understand, at least
Retweeted by Patton OswaltSHUT UP JUSTIN her defense, I had sex with Voldegath, Lord of the Cobwebbed Lands at Bumbershoot in '02 and had THE WORST gas t… mean you COULD make this shit up but you'd be laughed out of the writer's room at THE HEART, SHE HOLLER now — at the last sunset of the last day that Congressman John Lewis will lie in state here — an honest to God…
Retweeted by Patton Oswaltblaine aspirin gave me a headache ink. Vote for Hegar.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Golden State Killer is 74
Retweeted by Patton OswaltMatrix moment: we’re all living in a version of “We Didn’t Start The Fire” AS it’s being written after Billy Joel t… @MeredthSalenger Yeah, they barfed up their thanks for such a perfect Tweet.“STAR WARS is for little boys also here are three characters I wish had their OWN movies Darth Plagueis has the coo… special was such comfort food for me this year and I’m not ashamed to say it. @sethmeyers delivered pure, unfi… for getting me off the rollercoaster. Gonna just stay in the Tunnel of Love with you, baby.
I'm OK with sending 67-yr-old men to jail for their first offenses.
Retweeted by Patton OswaltThis and me laugh! Watch ‘til the end! And donate if you can!!! #Scholten #IA4 4, Episode 25 of THE KING OF QUEENS guest stars William Hurt as a shrink who takes Doug, Carrie & Arthur bac… know for a FACT Lynn Shelton would be thrilled with her Emmy nomination for directing for LFE! Deserved. She was…
Retweeted by Patton Oswaltcongrats on yet another Emmy nomination though try as you might it'll never equal the greatness of my 1988 Northern…
Retweeted by Patton OswaltEmmy voters, get in that bathroom. @j_smithcameron deserved a nom. Purely for that wordless scene where she express… @JoeBiden -- you still looking for a VP? Seehorn. Kim Wexler. What do you need, a roadmap?
Retweeted by Patton OswaltI know it was a long shot but yeah I was hoping for nominations for @BrentMJennings and @LindaEmondNYC for their qu…❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ assembled such an amazing group of talent for #IllBeGoneInTheDark and it was a thrill watching a great director…❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ blown away by this honor. What a group of purely creative, brilliant, game-changing minds to be associated wit…👇👇👇👇👇👇 never realized that until now. Oh man... oh guys heather’s sooo mad right now’m starting to wonder if Portland has oil
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This is hilarious and amazing and I hope you enjoy it! Thanks @StandUp4Amer WOW you're watching I'll Be Gone in the Dark on @HBO, check out the supplementary podcast! On this week's episode,…
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