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not the Train guy. cherries jubilee and that's it | cohost, @whatatimepod (https://t.co/WOpVe6hegs) | IG: pattymo | contact: pattymo@pattymo.com

1,098 Following   139,580 Followers   54,641 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/26/07


🔥🔥🔥 https://t.co/482Ix2OclkKarma is gonna be siiiick this week, folks - check out this lineup: @StokelyHathaway! @kathbarbadoro!… https://t.co/rcPKPED9Fz
12/10
2018
“Is this guy bothering you” https://t.co/7deI73WU4xKevin Hart should apologize for tweeting all that “positive energy blessings business mindset” horse shit.
Retweeted by Patrick Monahantfw you want the minister of fisheries and oceans to review your snow crab proposal https://t.co/34aEhgbfKl
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @dalykyle @ChaseMit https://t.co/2aUrDQAwWpHappy 2nd Birthday to a king https://t.co/8Z0kqX3gC4Probably the greatest thrill of my life to be named #44 of the #Top1000Comedians at the #ToppyAwards. Thanks to… https://t.co/TejQK8HaAtThrilled to find out that @pattymo is a playable character in the new Smash Bros game https://t.co/A4Y40lxRDM
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanI actually said “Oh hell yeah” out loud when Glenn Cullen first appeared onscreen in THE FAVOURITE
12/9
2018
“JAWN WAS ONE OF OWWUHS” https://t.co/D7uhchbecn @bransonreese Full agreement except I’d note that “Downtown Train” rips @bransonreese *laying in a clawfoot bathtub, wearing a patchwork tophat with the top punched open like a tin can, p… https://t.co/IvriIIzijhJohn Kelly will be resigning to spend more time appearing vaguely concerned before going along with literally every… https://t.co/zqdsHJ45GhWow I didn’t realize freakin Drumpf was in town https://t.co/EC0GULzqIXPlease be real https://t.co/G5wRN21NnQ @Rachel_Sennott Please stop doxing me.When you look so good the groomer insists on a photoshoot https://t.co/a1DJbagMgbGuy Hollywood is never going away https://t.co/Csur0YQbOT
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @bornferal I’ve never had it but have considered many bits if I did, unfollowing enemies (or just random friends) w… https://t.co/chxQRflLcU @bornferal Lol weaponizing the Tig account is a great bit @willsommer https://t.co/G1OhbtNUrCLooks like George Papadopoulos's wife forgot to switch accounts before posting. Quickly deleted this tweet. https://t.co/GpGpTD17lG
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @leyawn the words “Horben Hongus” just popped into my head out of nowhere and I laughed out loudmight actually buy this one https://t.co/Mnye0scjxt
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @HelloCullen You mustTrump making this his last post would be the funniest bit of all time https://t.co/cCglYUmOrz @MKupperman That’s actually the name of his eventual assassin @samlymatters @luisadieznuts LUISA, PIN ITReddit is mostly bad but the other day I learned on that website that the Menendez Brothers are in the background o… https://t.co/gE6uF3Yel9
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanExclusive photo of @2tonbug DESTROYING an unsuspecting crowd with his Grinch Rap https://t.co/c1f1ieqacTMy good friend and fellow comic Jason Saenz was in an accident that has left him paralyzed from the waist down. His… https://t.co/Q5cwq50CM2
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanGuy in the group chat said "foor" instead of "food." Blood in the water. We're going in.
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanLAWYER: ok they’ve got u pretty dead to rights. just be forthcoming and hopefully the judge will be lenient MANAFO… https://t.co/zElQWiFyyv
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @karengeier Coigns.When it was totally an honor just to be nominated https://t.co/YSjsef5ZB3found a notebook in the bottom of my bag and got excited to see what sort of important notes I might have been miss… https://t.co/ir9SybRXZN
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan
12/8
2018
@lukeoneil47 Not a typoTRUMP: I’d sure hate to be Integer 1 right now STAFFER: Very good, SirStill got it https://t.co/cCglYUmOrz @bornferal Handling this news with care*extremely asked to opine about climate change voice* Folks, https://t.co/W2iMSG4NWDReading the Mueller Michael Cohen sentencing memo https://t.co/7x2acFREcAhttps://t.co/vgWayJbPac @IanKarmel This is the last true cake in Hollywoodhttps://t.co/etjn6fjqZI
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanFormer Attorney General Marenghi must not be confirmed https://t.co/2h7KOnQpksI have two requests if I die unexpectedly: 1. Sprinkle my remains on each member of *NSYNC, even Chris 2. Do not cremate me
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @daveweigel I should’ve just posted it instead tbhPROTECT REX TILLERSON!!! TRUMP REPLIERS ASSEMBLE!!!This is tonight thank you. Thanks https://t.co/aVHSTBGvGu @cushbomb Gimme that Big Cow! @kept_simple @cd_hooks She learned a valuable lesson (?) and definitely won’t do this again the next time she’s in this exact situation (?)Just read something about commercial shrimp breeders, a first ballot Hall Of Fame funny phrase AND conceptBill Belichick should wear a gold hoop earring in his non-headset ear. RT if you agree
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan♫ Here I go, here I go, here I go again / Girls, what’s my weakness? (THE FLASHING RED ORB YOU PERIODICALLY LEAVE V… https://t.co/4Dsvov1WIM @BronzeHammer @boring_as_heck @robwhisman https://t.co/mx2F3IMUcG @gilbertjasono Why would someone dress a child in Todd Starnes cosplayI hope high school history lesson plans today are about Pearl Harbor, and not about how to take freakin selfies. Thank you.[paying $25 for a cocktail with two ingredients] let me tell you why Liberals are stupid https://t.co/SmK2j1EHR5
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanHappy birthday to @robwhisman, a wonderful manwhat the fuck https://t.co/Nl6w26caYr
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanDUMBASS: SHut the fuck up THE WISE MAN: No you shut the fuck up
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan“Fuck Me? Fuck YOU: A Counter Report” https://t.co/a1SV6NXzSg @Mobute Oh god I forgot he was that guy tooWhen you see a bad take https://t.co/kS2UzDdQhYEveryone should trust the guy who did the “Brett Kavanaugh and I may not agree politically but he’s a great lawyer… https://t.co/sJZK9hdcOL @RickyRawls Never fails to shock me how good Commodore isFOREGROUND: Pikachu lucha costume BACKGROUND: Me reacting to said costume https://t.co/5WIzKodtuO @JordanUhl Going halfsies on a bad drink to own the LibsThe scene in MICHAEL CLAYTON with the kid explaining that Realm and Conquest book to Arthur, only he’s explaining t… https://t.co/Ahv2HS8Og5Followers, ASSEMBLE! Jason Saenz is a truly good person who’s suffered a sudden, catastrophic medical emergency but… https://t.co/7q2hjMCTGw
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanWow, now Hannity’s telling kids not to say anything to the Elf on the Shelf? What happened to “law and order” conservatives
12/7
2018
♫ GAVE PROOOOOOF THROUGH THE NIIIIIGHT THAT OUR FLAG WAS STILL THERE ♫ https://t.co/79CPHnXpzG @celebrityhottub The Onion is dead. Long live the OnionMy best friend and comedy husband @jasonsaenz suffered a bad accident and is gonna need a lot of help over the next… https://t.co/u5BbF22iTY
Retweeted by Patrick Monahanhttps://t.co/opzpLwgtpF
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanLol hell yeah number one https://t.co/2OEhR7p34ohttps://t.co/paO2GyQIE5
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanWhen you activate private browsing https://t.co/6xKoUg9Yt5keep your “golden globes”, gimme those GULDEN’S GLOBS— i’m talkin MUSTARD, BABY!!
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @scharpling Get em TomMystified by people who are still demanding an edit function on here, thinking, despite all evidence to the contrar… https://t.co/iK6btqrF4pI hope the new Grinch movie will reveal what denomination of Christianity The Whos are.
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanPlease read my article about an anime I like and the history of power https://t.co/M5XtW4gsiP
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanQ: how do you know santas workshop is full of millenials. A: because they cant stop taking "ELFIES" if you liked t… https://t.co/sODL9uS88B
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan🤩 NEW EPISODE 🤩 We’re back! @courtmaginnis joins to talk the (in retrospect obvious) dangers of Cameo, an otter tea… https://t.co/nNMQKMwunq
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanHawaii seal gets eel stuck up nose https://t.co/mLA8d4GiqP @nealbrennan Already done https://t.co/5MJzBLcGcYwhen you’re the district manager and you change your ringtone to ‘bad to the bone’ https://t.co/UhDdcXUg2h
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanWait aren’t these guys supposed to love the cops https://t.co/q3FasO4Vgd
12/6
2018
@HelloCullen @TommyMcNam My man. Please enjoy https://t.co/IGlXpk18G9 @TommyMcNam https://t.co/GqB4kA1ht8And on the 🤩 BONUS EPISODE 🤩 @courtmaginnis sticks around to talk early childhood motivations to do comedy, the bur… https://t.co/vubxXbp9Q5
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @Ugarles “D-VON!!! GET THE BUFFET TABLES!!!!” https://t.co/SYKoEk8GUMThe piece also talks about “Get A Life” and includes this wonderful passage about what Fox thought about the show https://t.co/9vA1W1ZOTMI gave a tiny bit of input to @mtedder for this great piece about a true weirdo classic, CABIN BOY https://t.co/lRiJR8R496 @ashleyfeinberg Wait is he saying the casket is emptyInsanely powerful Boomer Mindset https://t.co/8dy1957fZETell your boss you’re not doing any work today, to honor President Bush
12/5
2018

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