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not the Train guy. cherries jubilee and that's it | cohost, @whatatimepod ( | IG: pattymo | contact:

1,098 Following   139,580 Followers   54,641 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/26/07

🔥🔥🔥 is gonna be siiiick this week, folks - check out this lineup: @StokelyHathaway! @kathbarbadoro!…
“Is this guy bothering you” Hart should apologize for tweeting all that “positive energy blessings business mindset” horse shit.
Retweeted by Patrick Monahantfw you want the minister of fisheries and oceans to review your snow crab proposal
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @dalykyle @ChaseMit 2nd Birthday to a king the greatest thrill of my life to be named #44 of the #Top1000Comedians at the #ToppyAwards. Thanks to… to find out that @pattymo is a playable character in the new Smash Bros game
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanI actually said “Oh hell yeah” out loud when Glenn Cullen first appeared onscreen in THE FAVOURITE
“JAWN WAS ONE OF OWWUHS” @bransonreese Full agreement except I’d note that “Downtown Train” rips @bransonreese *laying in a clawfoot bathtub, wearing a patchwork tophat with the top punched open like a tin can, p… Kelly will be resigning to spend more time appearing vaguely concerned before going along with literally every… I didn’t realize freakin Drumpf was in town be real @Rachel_Sennott Please stop doxing me.When you look so good the groomer insists on a photoshoot Hollywood is never going away
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @bornferal I’ve never had it but have considered many bits if I did, unfollowing enemies (or just random friends) w… @bornferal Lol weaponizing the Tig account is a great bit @willsommer like George Papadopoulos's wife forgot to switch accounts before posting. Quickly deleted this tweet.
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @leyawn the words “Horben Hongus” just popped into my head out of nowhere and I laughed out loudmight actually buy this one
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @HelloCullen You mustTrump making this his last post would be the funniest bit of all time @MKupperman That’s actually the name of his eventual assassin @samlymatters @luisadieznuts LUISA, PIN ITReddit is mostly bad but the other day I learned on that website that the Menendez Brothers are in the background o…
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanExclusive photo of @2tonbug DESTROYING an unsuspecting crowd with his Grinch Rap good friend and fellow comic Jason Saenz was in an accident that has left him paralyzed from the waist down. His…
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanGuy in the group chat said "foor" instead of "food." Blood in the water. We're going in.
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanLAWYER: ok they’ve got u pretty dead to rights. just be forthcoming and hopefully the judge will be lenient MANAFO…
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @karengeier Coigns.When it was totally an honor just to be nominated a notebook in the bottom of my bag and got excited to see what sort of important notes I might have been miss…
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@lukeoneil47 Not a typoTRUMP: I’d sure hate to be Integer 1 right now STAFFER: Very good, SirStill got it @bornferal Handling this news with care*extremely asked to opine about climate change voice* Folks, the Mueller Michael Cohen sentencing memo @IanKarmel This is the last true cake in Hollywood
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanFormer Attorney General Marenghi must not be confirmed have two requests if I die unexpectedly: 1. Sprinkle my remains on each member of *NSYNC, even Chris 2. Do not cremate me
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @daveweigel I should’ve just posted it instead tbhPROTECT REX TILLERSON!!! TRUMP REPLIERS ASSEMBLE!!!This is tonight thank you. Thanks @cushbomb Gimme that Big Cow! @kept_simple @cd_hooks She learned a valuable lesson (?) and definitely won’t do this again the next time she’s in this exact situation (?)Just read something about commercial shrimp breeders, a first ballot Hall Of Fame funny phrase AND conceptBill Belichick should wear a gold hoop earring in his non-headset ear. RT if you agree
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan♫ Here I go, here I go, here I go again / Girls, what’s my weakness? (THE FLASHING RED ORB YOU PERIODICALLY LEAVE V… @BronzeHammer @boring_as_heck @robwhisman @gilbertjasono Why would someone dress a child in Todd Starnes cosplayI hope high school history lesson plans today are about Pearl Harbor, and not about how to take freakin selfies. Thank you.[paying $25 for a cocktail with two ingredients] let me tell you why Liberals are stupid
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanHappy birthday to @robwhisman, a wonderful manwhat the fuck
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanDUMBASS: SHut the fuck up THE WISE MAN: No you shut the fuck up
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan“Fuck Me? Fuck YOU: A Counter Report” @Mobute Oh god I forgot he was that guy tooWhen you see a bad take should trust the guy who did the “Brett Kavanaugh and I may not agree politically but he’s a great lawyer… @RickyRawls Never fails to shock me how good Commodore isFOREGROUND: Pikachu lucha costume BACKGROUND: Me reacting to said costume @JordanUhl Going halfsies on a bad drink to own the LibsThe scene in MICHAEL CLAYTON with the kid explaining that Realm and Conquest book to Arthur, only he’s explaining t…, ASSEMBLE! Jason Saenz is a truly good person who’s suffered a sudden, catastrophic medical emergency but…
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanWow, now Hannity’s telling kids not to say anything to the Elf on the Shelf? What happened to “law and order” conservatives
♫ GAVE PROOOOOOF THROUGH THE NIIIIIGHT THAT OUR FLAG WAS STILL THERE ♫ @celebrityhottub The Onion is dead. Long live the OnionMy best friend and comedy husband @jasonsaenz suffered a bad accident and is gonna need a lot of help over the next…
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Retweeted by Patrick MonahanLol hell yeah number one
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanWhen you activate private browsing your “golden globes”, gimme those GULDEN’S GLOBS— i’m talkin MUSTARD, BABY!!
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @scharpling Get em TomMystified by people who are still demanding an edit function on here, thinking, despite all evidence to the contrar… hope the new Grinch movie will reveal what denomination of Christianity The Whos are.
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanPlease read my article about an anime I like and the history of power
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanQ: how do you know santas workshop is full of millenials. A: because they cant stop taking "ELFIES" if you liked t…
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan🤩 NEW EPISODE 🤩 We’re back! @courtmaginnis joins to talk the (in retrospect obvious) dangers of Cameo, an otter tea…
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanHawaii seal gets eel stuck up nose @nealbrennan Already done you’re the district manager and you change your ringtone to ‘bad to the bone’
Retweeted by Patrick MonahanWait aren’t these guys supposed to love the cops
@HelloCullen @TommyMcNam My man. Please enjoy @TommyMcNam on the 🤩 BONUS EPISODE 🤩 @courtmaginnis sticks around to talk early childhood motivations to do comedy, the bur…
Retweeted by Patrick Monahan @Ugarles “D-VON!!! GET THE BUFFET TABLES!!!!” piece also talks about “Get A Life” and includes this wonderful passage about what Fox thought about the show gave a tiny bit of input to @mtedder for this great piece about a true weirdo classic, CABIN BOY @ashleyfeinberg Wait is he saying the casket is emptyInsanely powerful Boomer Mindset your boss you’re not doing any work today, to honor President Bush