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Here for the right reasons.

2,289 Following   3,679 Followers   26,660 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/8/08


Boaty McBoat Shoes 👞⛵️ https://t.co/0DDG0aiwJx https://t.co/z0NYVtYkAGThis is A+ vandalism https://t.co/HW38lHjTYv
6/23
2018
How many times am I going to have to pinch myself? This is unreal. I am SO honored to be a part of this group of… https://t.co/0GRPUlf27r
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakHey, look over there — it’s the weekend 🔭 https://t.co/CO462uKcO0 https://t.co/UA7gsh3KEv
6/22
2018
@calvingrover Update: my blood pressure is amazing.
6/21
2018
I'm really sick of some people in the media acting like Ivanka Trump is an innocent woman. She's complicit and a m… https://t.co/pyep7bhxAV
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakI’m about to donate blood for the first time since starting the keto diet, and I’m a little worried the person is g… https://t.co/7dLt8yOt4uWhat will it take for a general strike? @Andrew_Gall My belated birthday gift to you..@Zac_Petkanas says on Fox News a 10-year-old girl with Down Syndrome was separated from her mother at the border.… https://t.co/5dByJlDhdO
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakI want to live in a country where this doesn’t happen. It doesn’t mean I don’t love America. It means that I think… https://t.co/hBKWAmLx87
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakStates pulling their National Guard troops back from the border so far: New York, Massachusetts, Maryland. Let’s add to this list today.
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak
6/20
2018
@chrisbharrison @MillionaireTV Have you ever gotten to the last question and accidentally said, “This is the final rose”?NEW: I just spoke with the former head of US Immigration & Customs Enforcement (ICE) – He tells me that he expects… https://t.co/t0XmwGvk9r
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakIn case you were wondering, one-third (95 out of 289) of all American Nobel Prizes in the Sciences have been earned… https://t.co/fUfu9K0G4L
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak @JSLtweets I hope they do. I will write them on their lunch bags one day.Eternally fuck everyone who devised this policy, is enforcing it, and is defending it. https://t.co/muoACNdfUy
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak @geekgiant I mean, I could just burn my entire property down and avoid any work in the first place with a blow torch.
6/19
2018
Wow, never would have known this without Waze, but apparently there are side streets to the Danger Zone that you ca… https://t.co/wJN8Ld7O5K @samstuesser @Andrew_Gall This will be like a WWE hardcore match, only the ring will be filled with landscaping pow… https://t.co/2agaA0c8zqToday I used a: ✅Grill ✅Cast iron skillet ✅Hedge trimmer ✅Chainsaw ✅Bolt cutter ✅2 ladders Father’s Day Yahtzee!I never really cared what I did for a living; all I wanted to be growing up was a dad. Thanks to these three for ma… https://t.co/PNw2r7LTQi
6/18
2018
@knitpurl I mean, this is a thing I do when I’m not moving and have plenty of silverware, so... @Andrew_Gall Was that joke too... ...Edge-y? https://t.co/E9tfNNS3Rz @webjournalist I will now leave https://t.co/pmNxTtzNDm for good.Wow, had no idea U2 gives out legal advice. *And* they do it pro-Bono.THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE I'VE MET 1. HUMAN BEINGS 2. MULTIPLE SETS OF CLOTHES THEY PAID FOR 3. LAX POLICY ON POCK… https://t.co/DE69oGu72i
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak
6/16
2018
Always start the day with meat 🥓🍗🍖 • • • • #camping #campinglife #northwestisbest #pnwcollective #upperleftusahttps://t.co/tNhkIxwDSdReporters referring to the inspector general as “IG”: I just keep reading “Instagram.”One shouldn't underrate how much the media's obsession with Clinton's emails stemmed from its obsession with fendin… https://t.co/ROkox8pUtA
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakL | I | N | E | S • • • • #northwestisbest #pnwcollective #upperleftusa #northwest #pacificnorthwest #pnwhttps://t.co/hBYNQRBJPp
6/15
2018
@PicardTips Or an illegally developed cloaking device. @brainpunch @chriscopa 😂I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden com… https://t.co/PwZWioZtbZ
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakHot take: the Mariners are fun.*Not tonight’s actual sunset 🌅 https://t.co/NHPWSsyYDZ https://t.co/iNAPLZdb71 @kimerrikin I did not even know this was a phrase. It’s so good. “Get out of my yard, you fucking trash panda!”hi we’re doing a cat fashion show. tune in and momentarily forget literally the entire rest of 2018 until this poin… https://t.co/bNJx7IuUjW
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakDibs on “trash pandas” as a punk band name https://t.co/xNdaqadmAj https://t.co/dP6RLQu0iMUh, I’m just here to vote for the All-Star Game? https://t.co/gt0NiIHLy0
6/14
2018
SERIOUS-ASS HIKING from last summer. None of that staircase bullshit like my last post. • • • • #northwestisbesthttps://t.co/ickVvch9A1You can always tell it’s an authentic outdoors experience when they build stairs into the mountain. • • • •… https://t.co/VEO98kYl0W @kristy @nikkibalcerak Some of the specialty ones like Budweiser 55 (ew, probably) get real low, like 1.9 carbs. @kristy @nikkibalcerak This was Lowercase Brewing’s Light Lager. Couldn’t get exact numbers online, but I’m guessin… https://t.co/iP4TUtUXYdi wrote about suicide and stuff https://t.co/3WFgwse6yZ
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakH/t to my boo, @nikkibalcerak, for doing #keto so I could do it, too, and making hella good food for us. Everything… https://t.co/dk032Rp2uk
6/13
2018
If the summit goes well they can forgo their individual countries and go straight to the fantasy country
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakSome wonderful absurdity for a couple of good causes in @SeattleGoodwill and @SeattleHumane , coming soon.… https://t.co/lv9ibYgZPj
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak
6/12
2018
I found this on my phone and now all I want is to sit around and drink something out of a coconut 🥥 • • • •… https://t.co/43TPmolqQ0 @madelinemoy Nah, I’m an almond man. @madelinemoy Disagree, and here’s proof: Cover both nuts in dark chocolate. Cashews? Meh. Almonds? Next. F***ing. Level.Rolling into Monday like... https://t.co/szwlicxBf1 https://t.co/qU5xKJk1TWAlmonds are the Beyoncé of nuts. It’s not like Pine Nut or even Peanut. It’s just Almonds. No surname necessary.
6/11
2018
I highly recommend these boots. And being married to my wife. She’s got the gift game on 🔐 • • • • #northwestisbesthttps://t.co/gp5ujKJTboDusk run 🏃‍♂️🔦 • • • • #northwestisbest #pnwcollective #upperleftusa #northwest #pacificnorthwest #pnwhttps://t.co/l3Ee0H5Irg
6/10
2018
I’m biased, of course, but this is a pretty 💣 Rosé! • • • • #chateaustemichelle #client #rosé #nationalroséday… https://t.co/URCEgqHMAG
6/9
2018
please take some time today to educate yourself about suicide, watching for signs in your friends, colleagues, and… https://t.co/Jvi7pE9Att
Retweeted by Paul Balcerakgutted by bourdain. right after i posted this a couple dys ago i went to delete it. i felt so exposed & uncomfortab… https://t.co/TFuqgrwA5i
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakDepression does not discriminate. https://t.co/wbAerev2lR
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak❤️A couple things I’ve written about my depression & how I’ve grappled with the urge to kill myself. 1.… https://t.co/BiR3epHCiA
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakMike, @SportsRadioKJR, this is garbage. Be better. https://t.co/sKuvWe7S4k
6/8
2018
I tried trail running this one time and on the way up my lungs were on fire and my muscles all went limp, and on th… https://t.co/794Ik1bnEa👏 https://t.co/5f9Ch3KY1qHow do you double-retweet something? https://t.co/rD1V6OGUQfNew @TheFlavrBlue song! 🔥 Hey, side note, what kind of Rosé is that? https://t.co/9pe6DBy3SPI really cannot recommend Mt. Si enough. Yes, there are a ton of people there — get there early. But on a nice day,… https://t.co/Pd6TVGVt38
6/7
2018
@lilsheba The couch was there before they were.😭😭😭 https://t.co/KR3HPHk8OcThis is good content https://t.co/m6a3ZhUYGx**Fake smile while I pretend to look at a bird** • • I don’t have a natural smile. If someone tells me to smile for… https://t.co/2sWjSscAcU“What would you rather lose: your phone or your wallet?” “I would rather intentionally throw my phone into the ocean.” @AmyEBotelho1 I earned this couch. @Shih_Wei @AmberEikelKTVU 😂 @_modscientist_ My wife did all that BY HAND @sethlong 😐hiring
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak🎶WE BUILT THIS KITCHEN! 🎶WE BUILT THIS KITCHEN ON ROOOOOOCK AND ROLL! 🎶BUILT THIS KITCHEN! • • • • Centering that o… https://t.co/fLycrJ9KGTHey, you wanna know what to NOT buy your kids? A nice couch. They will 100% fuck it up. GOD DAMMITTheory: no one knows it yet, but the Mariners are self-aware and are taking control of the park. #ALWestworld
6/6
2018

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