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Here for the right reasons.

2,289 Following   3,679 Followers   26,660 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/8/08

Boaty McBoat Shoes 👞⛵️ is A+ vandalism
How many times am I going to have to pinch myself? This is unreal. I am SO honored to be a part of this group of…
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakHey, look over there — it’s the weekend 🔭
@calvingrover Update: my blood pressure is amazing.
I'm really sick of some people in the media acting like Ivanka Trump is an innocent woman. She's complicit and a m…
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakI’m about to donate blood for the first time since starting the keto diet, and I’m a little worried the person is g… will it take for a general strike? @Andrew_Gall My belated birthday gift to you..@Zac_Petkanas says on Fox News a 10-year-old girl with Down Syndrome was separated from her mother at the border.…
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakI want to live in a country where this doesn’t happen. It doesn’t mean I don’t love America. It means that I think…
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakStates pulling their National Guard troops back from the border so far: New York, Massachusetts, Maryland. Let’s add to this list today.
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak
@chrisbharrison @MillionaireTV Have you ever gotten to the last question and accidentally said, “This is the final rose”?NEW: I just spoke with the former head of US Immigration & Customs Enforcement (ICE) – He tells me that he expects…
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakIn case you were wondering, one-third (95 out of 289) of all American Nobel Prizes in the Sciences have been earned…
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak @JSLtweets I hope they do. I will write them on their lunch bags one day.Eternally fuck everyone who devised this policy, is enforcing it, and is defending it.
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak @geekgiant I mean, I could just burn my entire property down and avoid any work in the first place with a blow torch.
Wow, never would have known this without Waze, but apparently there are side streets to the Danger Zone that you ca… @samstuesser @Andrew_Gall This will be like a WWE hardcore match, only the ring will be filled with landscaping pow… I used a: ✅Grill ✅Cast iron skillet ✅Hedge trimmer ✅Chainsaw ✅Bolt cutter ✅2 ladders Father’s Day Yahtzee!I never really cared what I did for a living; all I wanted to be growing up was a dad. Thanks to these three for ma…
@knitpurl I mean, this is a thing I do when I’m not moving and have plenty of silverware, so... @Andrew_Gall Was that joke too... ...Edge-y? @webjournalist I will now leave for good.Wow, had no idea U2 gives out legal advice. *And* they do it pro-Bono.THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE I'VE MET 1. HUMAN BEINGS 2. MULTIPLE SETS OF CLOTHES THEY PAID FOR 3. LAX POLICY ON POCK…
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak
Always start the day with meat 🥓🍗🍖 • • • • #camping #campinglife #northwestisbest #pnwcollective #upperleftusa referring to the inspector general as “IG”: I just keep reading “Instagram.”One shouldn't underrate how much the media's obsession with Clinton's emails stemmed from its obsession with fendin…
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakL | I | N | E | S • • • • #northwestisbest #pnwcollective #upperleftusa #northwest #pacificnorthwest #pnw
@PicardTips Or an illegally developed cloaking device. @brainpunch @chriscopa 😂I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden com…
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakHot take: the Mariners are fun.*Not tonight’s actual sunset 🌅 @kimerrikin I did not even know this was a phrase. It’s so good. “Get out of my yard, you fucking trash panda!”hi we’re doing a cat fashion show. tune in and momentarily forget literally the entire rest of 2018 until this poin…
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakDibs on “trash pandas” as a punk band name, I’m just here to vote for the All-Star Game?
SERIOUS-ASS HIKING from last summer. None of that staircase bullshit like my last post. • • • • #northwestisbest can always tell it’s an authentic outdoors experience when they build stairs into the mountain. • • • •… @kristy @nikkibalcerak Some of the specialty ones like Budweiser 55 (ew, probably) get real low, like 1.9 carbs. @kristy @nikkibalcerak This was Lowercase Brewing’s Light Lager. Couldn’t get exact numbers online, but I’m guessin… wrote about suicide and stuff
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakH/t to my boo, @nikkibalcerak, for doing #keto so I could do it, too, and making hella good food for us. Everything…
If the summit goes well they can forgo their individual countries and go straight to the fantasy country
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakSome wonderful absurdity for a couple of good causes in @SeattleGoodwill and @SeattleHumane , coming soon.…
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak
I found this on my phone and now all I want is to sit around and drink something out of a coconut 🥥 • • • •… @madelinemoy Nah, I’m an almond man. @madelinemoy Disagree, and here’s proof: Cover both nuts in dark chocolate. Cashews? Meh. Almonds? Next. F***ing. Level.Rolling into Monday like... are the Beyoncé of nuts. It’s not like Pine Nut or even Peanut. It’s just Almonds. No surname necessary.
I highly recommend these boots. And being married to my wife. She’s got the gift game on 🔐 • • • • #northwestisbest run 🏃‍♂️🔦 • • • • #northwestisbest #pnwcollective #upperleftusa #northwest #pacificnorthwest #pnw
I’m biased, of course, but this is a pretty 💣 Rosé! • • • • #chateaustemichelle #client #rosé #nationalroséday…
please take some time today to educate yourself about suicide, watching for signs in your friends, colleagues, and…
Retweeted by Paul Balcerakgutted by bourdain. right after i posted this a couple dys ago i went to delete it. i felt so exposed & uncomfortab…
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakDepression does not discriminate.
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak❤️A couple things I’ve written about my depression & how I’ve grappled with the urge to kill myself. 1.…
Retweeted by Paul BalcerakMike, @SportsRadioKJR, this is garbage. Be better.
I tried trail running this one time and on the way up my lungs were on fire and my muscles all went limp, and on th…👏 do you double-retweet something? @TheFlavrBlue song! 🔥 Hey, side note, what kind of Rosé is that? really cannot recommend Mt. Si enough. Yes, there are a ton of people there — get there early. But on a nice day,…
@lilsheba The couch was there before they were.😭😭😭 is good content**Fake smile while I pretend to look at a bird** • • I don’t have a natural smile. If someone tells me to smile for…“What would you rather lose: your phone or your wallet?” “I would rather intentionally throw my phone into the ocean.” @AmyEBotelho1 I earned this couch. @Shih_Wei @AmberEikelKTVU 😂 @_modscientist_ My wife did all that BY HAND @sethlong 😐hiring
Retweeted by Paul Balcerak🎶WE BUILT THIS KITCHEN! 🎶WE BUILT THIS KITCHEN ON ROOOOOOCK AND ROLL! 🎶BUILT THIS KITCHEN! • • • • Centering that o…, you wanna know what to NOT buy your kids? A nice couch. They will 100% fuck it up. GOD DAMMITTheory: no one knows it yet, but the Mariners are self-aware and are taking control of the park. #ALWestworld