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Paul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins HOLLYWOOD, U.S.A.

TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies Instagram: https://t.co/nKGaC6yGny

2,939 Following   1,244,163 Followers   87,634 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/29/08


@BenBlacker You’re too late HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHhhHahHahhhahhhHahhahhhHahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhah @RobRenzetti Kinda @BenBlacker https://t.co/RIbuSOf8UlI know this is not the important thing to focus on but the thing that I hate secondmost about far right memes (afte… https://t.co/E7MiWsIMuuMy memory of the 2016 debates is thinking Clinton (whom I didn't particularly like) absolutely ate Trump's lunch --… https://t.co/SI3X24Y1W2
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsFor the Institute's first-ever 5-minute explainer: Briahna Joy Gray (@briebriejoy) lets us know why "Big Government… https://t.co/RxrgJJxVVP
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsThere’s no debate: If we #TurnTexasBlue, Trump is through. $38 for 38 electoral votes. Match me:… https://t.co/JtawMMW99DCheck it out! @ApplePodcasts is featuring our 100th episode with @pftompkins! Listen to Three Swings 100 and all… https://t.co/NSjfxG1q7d
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @OsitaNwanevu BickeringThe four COVID personality types https://t.co/emeauT3har
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkinsalmost ready! https://t.co/PLCr44g3Sq
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @BillCorbett Bill that is up to USAs a woman who’s from there, if the Democrats want to flip Texas they should not under ANY circumstances make fun o… https://t.co/I7ls5GBYiI
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsYou can pet the dog in Potion Permit https://t.co/lKuguSGiKd
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsIf twitter verifies me I will release the recipe for the covid vaccine
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @Manglewood The people have spokenExactly so https://t.co/F41d0XuyL4 @BenBlacker In your heart you know @TheBestNuala @emilynussbaum That dog looks happy as hell what point are you trying to prove @andrewfutral Deer is not scared of YOUI love this show & am so lucky to have done a lil role on it https://t.co/LyHJY5Hq2b @TylerMahanCoe Hmmm how manyWHICH ANIMAL IS THE SCAREDEST @emcoffey3 I’m awesome at it @JosephHarnish Not this time, it was fun @BrotiGupta Broti. Did you LIKE it. @BrotiGupta Well?i love going to the dentist they say what kind of tooth u want i say surprise me
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @vornietom HahahahaI am looking to punish people https://t.co/7hNV5uFjbn
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsShoutout to whoever it was on the set that read this and shared it: I love you all @annasalix I feel like you’re saying I’m being ridiculous, like someone would have to intentionally try to be as ridiculous as I’m being @UKrazyFan Are you telling me what I said seems hard to take seriously, almost comically so @telecomic Although your theory sounds extremely shaky I cannot confidently discount it because I am a college dropout @AmyDearing3 Are you implying that what I’m saying is silly, even comical @emcoffey3 How are you at spotting jokes
9/29
2020
@MilesKlee He saw the bracelets-and-stew tweet and thought “I bet I can beat that, I just need a few weeks to focus”They have everything they ever wanted and they're still mad https://t.co/XKuDoIH1Lm
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsIt’s time for genuine change in the most powerful city council in the country. It’s time for a transformative visio… https://t.co/DMudFcRHas
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsOne positive thing about zoom schooling is parents being able to see and hear what really goes on in a class. https://t.co/UtsNRWj1c7
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @shannonwoodward @ThrillingAdv @pagetpaget https://t.co/LLwKtDOzseDo you wish there was something you could do to help America right now? Guess what, there is. Please convert your… https://t.co/1hGuSpOZRlThe long wait is over. We're proud to announce the launch of the Gravel Institute, fighting PragerU on its own turf… https://t.co/QICuy5bMZN
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsI am SO looking forward to doing this. One of my favorite shows to do, ever. Not to be missed! https://t.co/6XsdfdlNNcAfter literal months of falling into a rabbit hole of watching deranged Disney Adults livestream from Disney World… https://t.co/9zoSNE8IIz
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsLatest episode of Star Trek: The Pod Directive is up! My co-host @TrondyNewman leads a fantastic discussion with so… https://t.co/cx1rqtbsSM @kmikeym Okay good DON’T WATCH THAT SHITI don't wanna be famous i wanna be BOOKEDT like this bitch! She stay in her bag 💅🏾 https://t.co/Gnz1acycFx
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @RheaButcher @ForeverDogTeam @threeswingspod Thank you for having me on and everything else you said I am throwing… https://t.co/d031Me3zPrMorning! I’m on my dear friend Rhea Butcher’s THREE SWINGS podcast, happily helping them celebrate 100 EPISODES!… https://t.co/wq6mc2HBHm @kmikeym May nonshareholders chime in at all?now THIS is a celebrity impression https://t.co/dajWujZuxk
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsI can’t believe this Trump tax story dropped the same day I was going to release this takedown meme. https://t.co/338aAGjTQi
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @M_Blasucci @OnlineAlison @MelissaStetten Stop, you’re driving me crazy!!! @M_Blasucci @OnlineAlison @MelissaStetten Come on— the hair? The clothes? They do NOTHING for you? @moviemanstan @OnlineAlison @MelissaStetten @M_Blasucci Stan maybe stay out of this one, we’ll check back with you later @M_Blasucci @OnlineAlison @MelissaStetten Maria stop lying you know he’s hot @OnlineAlison @MelissaStetten @M_Blasucci He’s undeniably sexy and charismatic @OnlineAlison @MelissaStetten @M_Blasucci Maybe you should call the cops for me https://t.co/4OGzW6u2OP @OnlineAlison @MelissaStetten @M_Blasucci It’s all so logical!!!Ugh I’m 6 episodes into The Vow and Keith is only making MORE sense to me I think this is not what’s supposed to be happeningHey, remember when the Panama Papers were released and they showed how basically every wealthy person on the planet… https://t.co/VQsiLg1AKU
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @janedoe5001 @BogwashSwamprot The only reason you shouldn’t expect it is because I am not a liar. The key ingredien… https://t.co/qKrTXvI8jK @JoshHernandex @MohanadElshieky I’ve seen it every time I’ve made fun of the Lincoln Project, you are more than wel… https://t.co/Baql6oBgbH @PsychicWhoosh @MilesKlee Just realized I wasn’t clear, I meant the audience @ScottAukerman I can’t give you an EXACT source but I definitely remember reading it in a very recent paragraph in this storyI can confirm it, he did https://t.co/IkuGepnY9hIf I dip a cool ranch dorito in ranch dressing that is sort of like putting an ice cube in water
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins
9/28
2020
@passport220 Belligerent and provocative? Come on. You want to talk about what is “clearly” in evidence in this vid… https://t.co/52Zzeg2E9fOkay, this just went from serious to seriously serious, PLEASE WATCH (cc: @PFTompkins ) https://t.co/33CQH49Kyj
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkinsimportant to remember that this is a single isolated incident of super rich guy doing this and the system that allo… https://t.co/c6iKRI9tpR
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @sherberthoover1 @MilesKlee I don’t think either? The story just broke and people are responding to it @PsychicWhoosh @MilesKlee Wedding Crashers? @magicmikecastle Do it Do it UNFOLLOW THEM ALL @WeNeedSports1 I think maybe this is all too big for you to get your mind around @MilesKlee Everyone will focus on this, which they already knew, and not that he is terrible at business which they also already knew!“$750 for taxes? That’s the same price of a Starbucks covfefe.” https://t.co/SSyCznoJZZ
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @magicmikecastle Look for yourself 😪 @magicmikecastle 😢 https://t.co/cn7l2UlZG1Our next #TAHLive is on HALLOWEEN! 10/31 5pm PT/8pm ET. Features all of the WJ Players and two BRAND NEW spooky Bey… https://t.co/S0OHjiMc1j
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @magicmikecastle I can’t believe you don’t even follow meare you telling me an outlaw joseyed these wales
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsOnly 40s BC kids will understand https://t.co/kDNz083qSS
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @BrotiGupta I know this is a tribute to me and I am touched @passport220 Also I don’t know how you think the comedy club analogy tracks but good try @passport220 Good point, what is more provocative to heavily armored goons than some people just standing there? Gl… https://t.co/hVuILvDHhvwishing ted cruz was the nominee for the supreme court so he'd tweet out a pic of a shirt that says Notorious Ted C… https://t.co/46WGi1Vrwf
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsSeeing Keira Knightley outside of a period piece is like running into a teacher outside of school.
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsI have just been informed that this woman has a drum for a head, I had believed for the longest time that it was a… https://t.co/28ukj7vdov
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @JoshHernandex @MohanadElshieky “I haven’t seen it so you are making it up.” @DrewRickett I know @alihobbalah @matchafrosting When the cops are all crowded around the one guy they knocked to the ground & a small… https://t.co/8lktzz8eHy @alihobbalah @matchafrosting Yes we may never know what led the people in military gear to start shoving and hittin… https://t.co/k3pPnm23brImagine ever thinking that this man or the Lincoln Project was ever on your side https://t.co/KkdGwWn24O
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsIf you’re “concerned” about rioters, whom would you say is rioting in this video? Either join the people who admit… https://t.co/lMFLcEhZedGotta love these dinner companions https://t.co/p7IUe9QoQbJust so much servin’ & protectin’ & chargin’ & obscurin’ https://t.co/tVXFT1q0gzI’m not a negative person, but if I could talk to birds, a lot of people would be in terrible danger.
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @paulandstorm @JamesUrbaniak Hope he sees this bro @TessDegenstein GAMECHANGER
9/27
2020

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