Sign in with Twitter


Paul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins HOLLYWOOD, U.S.A.

TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies Instagram:

2,868 Following   1,249,608 Followers   81,188 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/29/08

Is it too early to say the central metaphor in Sonic the Hedgehog didn’t actually work?
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsI learned how to pronounce Reince Priebus and for what
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsJUST started Godfather 2 on cable at 9pm. Will I be asleep in
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins#ANTSAT thought to be extinct @bubbleblabber I mean I might not have to hear from you again, that could be a difference right there @Joshingtron @LibyaLiberty Hey, sides are fine. A pickle, a cup of tomato soup, some Fritos, no one’s trying to cancel Christmas here. @LibyaLiberty DING @tomwalkerisgood Picture touches... ...all of us @Joshingtron @LibyaLiberty IN the sandwich or on the side? @bubbleblabber Why don’t you mind yours, just because I post these things on a public forum doesn’t mean I want YOU…! I got off the plane, went to the men’s room, he was at the urinal next to me STILL fighting on the phoneUpdate: he has resumed his fight and also he is wearing a baseball cap with the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ on itI miss when I was a kid and my biggest problem was that a rapper didn’t mention my city when he rattled of a verse…
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @LibyaLiberty Hard agree. A grilled cheese sandwich is one of those foods that is entirely self-contained and doesn’t need any “help.” truly fantastic seconds-long performance in the movie Noises Off. I love her! saw a license plate that said “❤️ 4 LAX,” and I have never understood another human’s thinking less.
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins💁🏻‍♀️ Do not buy John Bolton’s book 💁🏻‍♀️
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @thecolonelmc When there’s a precedent for it is it really that silly the colonel mc @weaknwoundeddoc Okay but it’s the primaries and Bloomberg is NOT HELPINGIn 2002 I worked at Brentano’s in century city (RIP) and one afternoon Don Adams—Maxwell Smart and Inspector Gadget…
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkinsoh no not revenue
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsThe guy sitting in front of me is having a huge, urgent fight on the phone with someone but he is keeping the volum…’s also worth considering there’s a very good chance that Bloomberg wants to be President for the same reason Tru…
@Tropical_glam @pixelatedboat Sounds familiar @pixelatedboat How the fuck about pouring millions into a senate race in oh say KENTUCKY @MartinAriasPan I live in California and could, most likely, sit out the general if someone I can’t stomach got the… @MartinAriasPan So let’s just accept that as a new normal for presidential candidates? Also, Trump is a complete sc… you want to look at as “Bloomberg is putting millions into beating Trump,” can you not also admit that he would… @morninggloria I don’t even fly to places that have good barbecue unless I have another reason for being thereI'm thrilled to announce the support of two organizations working tirelessly to protect Angelenos who bear the brun…
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @Caissie Check the credenza— I’m already there! @markmcconville’m not a scientist but I’m pretty sure there’s a “Who’s your daddy?” joke in 4 out of 5 kids movies.
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @Caissie Damn, I love that thing!Goodnight y’all.
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @melanielynskey HahahahHarrison Ford being seriously + consistently pissed about in-depth Star Wars shit is truly one of the funniest thin…
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsThe podcast you've all been waiting for since the 2019 #MaxFunDrive (when @hodgman and @elliottkalan promised to ma…
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsDoing some maintenance work today and the dryer is not handing it well.
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @nwalks Here is the Behind The Music of that song Me: (does *that* into Garage Band, sends) Um, is this what you m… @nwalks O so pleased to learn you are a fan of CLAVDIVSIf you get a deodorant ad more than 3 times on Facebook, that means the CIA is using your computer to smell you, and they think you stink
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsThat piece of metal is literally called the Commissioner’s Trophy
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkinswe need to unite to defeat trump in november. this type of "energy" is not going to get us there
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsAnn Miller breaks it down so you can understand.
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @Rhaegaro Love you @melanielynskey Where’s the lieMr. @MarcEvanJackson and Mr. @PFTompkins got all dressed up in their tuxes and hilariously enacted false stories to…
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @ricemily Oh thank you! @ricemily Rude comment! @Rhaegaro Man I hope someone feels this way about me somedayYou love to hear it LOVE YOU TOO, ALCOVE OF EMPTY BEER CANS Mr. Jackson & Mr. Tompkins both love you very much. ‘Til we meet again!*standing up, clinking glass at my friend's wedding* excuse me everyone, can i go to the bathroom?
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @MarkJTompkins @MarcEvanJackson @JFLNorthWest Thank you, big brother, a thing I call you all the time and not just…! There are still some seats left for our show tonight! 7pm at @VogueTheatre!
I will vote for whoever pledges to stop this show blew my dang mind in Toronto. Vancouver, If there are tickets left, you want them!!
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsI am just trying to peacefully read Parasite trivia and someone had to sneak in their fanfic???
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsHeeeeeeey come on now this show is going to be great ya gotta come see it’m at a Japanese mascot tennis tournament.
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkinsgorgeously layered levels of dystopia
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsI've watched this 20 times and each time I think he got this. Imma watch it again
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsI am once again asking for my body to be gently lifted and raised to the net so that I may dunk
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsStrange tweet. I’m not sure this is as good an idea as he thinks it is 🤔
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @banmar_nj Even if that’s true, why say itHey Vancouver! Come see this monster live, on stage with me, tomorrow night! Mr. Jackson and Mr. Tompkins at the V… Twitter is saying this tweet is too long
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @FernieCommaAlex Not my fave development, gotta sayreading spiderman... does the spider get anything out of this deal. does this lil guy get beginner photography skil…
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins
I understand what “bomboclaat” means and how it is used and I do not need it explained to me nor do I have to look… @LuigiHann Sure @ifyoucantwell I kinda want to watch it again now @evaandheriud This series of expressions is so incredible.All the stuff you are hearing about Bloomberg’s issues with women and race are terrible and not going away, so if y… @kwmurphy THAT’S RIGHT VIDAVancouver! Why is this not sold out yet?? DO NOT EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF THESE AMERICAN GENTLEMEN. Sell this show…
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @thatsajellyfish You enter the sign-in room trying not to get a good look at ANYONEme catching my own expression while watching a reality dating show
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @yayforzig Whaaaaaaaacausing material harm to people on the basis of race is “wokeness” now. huh.
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @danawickens @AAAAAGGHHHH I saw!!!Reclining by a fountain in Rome in a moss onesie, it’s...Lemmy?
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @TheDrugBaby My job is muting you and BUSINESS IS GOOD @GnatRoberts Exactly. This is what got me thinking about it! @packaday I’m just a guy looking to keep premises sound across all mediaThe internet was a grave mistake but stuff like this almost makes it worth it
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsAt least 17 women have sued Bloomberg and are currently bound by non-disclosure agreements they had to sign as empl…
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @packaday I don’t believe I expressed any issue with the title, the guy definitely got scrooged @FORM_DESTROYER Why would that line need to change? @Rafterian @Des_TroyAnimatn I’d switch the characters, not the actors @LoganHuntley3 Yeah, this one’s on me for engaging @meggyfin @41Strange Oh jeez this guy makes me anxiousNot just Barnes, but Noble too.
Retweeted by Paul F. TompkinsAnd let’s devote those resources to facial recognition at parties.
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins @BillCorbett He STRONGLY believes in great family experiencesThank you, Arthur E. Imperatore
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkinsthe next big gay cultural icons are The Owls of Ga’Hoole. everyone give it up for The Owls of Ga’Hoole, who are trending on gay twitter
Retweeted by Paul F. Tompkins