Sign in with Twitter

Username:

cocreator of the HBO show Animals. demon baby sent from hell.

1,453 Following   6,356 Followers   9,471 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/24/11


@Dave_Horwitz Actually a dual doc about Kony and the dude who did the campaign’s meltdown would be......... fyre
1/19
2019
sees anyone; https://t.co/I95Z11f3To @scharpling Oh my god this is so great @twinsistermusic @coolingpie out on my birthday wat a giftOne time someone I know was with Jennifer Anniston and she didn’t know what Razor Scooters were @fattonyrap @VICELAND @zackfox @sandyhonig @MsReeezy Amazing love this WILL WATCH
1/18
2019
@immicrowavable I’ll mail you some new but you gotta pay 5.99 plus shipping & handling LIKE EVERYONE ELSE*hagrid kicks down the front door* yer a libtard harry*ben affleck wakes up super hungover* wait was i batman for a secondRip https://t.co/t9NPx8EU27i cant wait to wake up tomorrow and write more cartoons because when im fifty and managing a small new jersey antiq… https://t.co/37y4TSKSPywe shoulda shot all the live action with that filter! https://t.co/VPmLGBKLI4 @TeamYouTube https://t.co/e9IML2m9tHY tu brute mama tambien @TeamYouTube It doesn't exist anymore because it mysteriously got deleted?!! That's what this is all about! Can you… https://t.co/tV5z2HzjdIbut at what point is it stolen valor https://t.co/hgAM0yoFHp @ericdadourian @danlicatasucks A very muscular 90s body builder that was kinda famous i guess @danlicatasucks True story my mom cut his hair & had to use two hair cutting capes around his neck
1/17
2019
@TeamYouTube Hey! Still didn't get an email?? Can we take this to DM?*born* Am I good enough? How about now How about now How about now How about now How about now How about now How… https://t.co/Gd4zUvk0Bi
Retweeted by phil matarese @chrissyteigen What if I told u we’ve been to 69 already https://t.co/AyT1NUMdcelike rain in the desert,,, at the worst times in my life,,, i find myself joining a hardcore band,,,
1/16
2019
Props to this guy picking up our convo almost 3 years later. https://t.co/Ws7ugsOaEa @paulrust That doc broke my heart!was thinking about ‘Dumb and Dumber’ today and realized it’s never going to go away and I found that comforting @AlisonAgosti clearly CGI i did the research i put in the time he's never kissed @TeamYouTube https://t.co/1Ls1huqUHg @TeamYouTube "no content available"
1/15
2019
@adamadamwade @bbarbot 😃I've just started S02 of Animals the HBO animated series and it's WAY more epic that the first. That mini crossover… https://t.co/yulboHe0N9
Retweeted by phil matareseI finished watching the criminally underrated #AnimalsHBO today. 'The Trial' should have been on every best of list… https://t.co/NM25WZz8Ta
Retweeted by phil matarese @TeamYouTube Wups good point. Yes I can sign into youtube with that email. But everything is totally wiped. @Dave_Horwitz keep in mind i did NOT have the money to buy this terrible watch https://t.co/o4FvuAbA0qFound a credits test i made for #AnimalsHBO season three. Dunno why we didn't go with this it's super cute. https://t.co/ScHZfxVcx4 @TeamYouTube @YTCreators everything got deleted from my account https://t.co/1Ls1huqUHg i have my login and everything. please DM @jonahray @FUCKEDUP like i want the full albums of all the "bands" that are on it. @jonahray @FUCKEDUP it's like the world's greatest Fucked Up mixtape? i love it so much
1/14
2019
let go https://t.co/FCCkjdfmMn
Retweeted by phil matareseone time my friend's pug farted so bad it gave my other friend a nosebleed. it was the greatest moment of my life. @Brennan_Full it's really really special.
1/13
2019
@ShutUpAndrosky HERE I AM DOING EAAAVERYTHING I CANart. https://t.co/wWJnjSDbJsOh my god how annoying I cut it too soon. Here’s full https://t.co/PYGOdPPzF7 @danguterman me2“One time when I was in a coma I was a bee and I had sex with my mom.” For some reason that line, from the 2gether… https://t.co/BDneQDkOkp @rejectedjokes @KayKayCannon @captdope @ikebarinholtz @lizzo When Ike opens up and starts crying in the street... I teared up @XXL congratulations juelz santana
1/12
2019
Fulfilled a lifelong dream of pestering Brian Tyree Henry to smoke weed with me #room104 https://t.co/M7hpKkEUGq @GayRodney HahahaI was just informed that Boy from Bird Box was the kid that voiced Frisbee! https://t.co/v1mOpsDr9bhas The Rock ever kissed in a movie? i can't picture it.
1/11
2019
Thank you HBO. See everyone it’s possible to be cordial with your Exes. https://t.co/jhV1sAuoP0 @HBO Phil @laurenlapkus @mikelucianosup @Gabrus @earwolf https://t.co/vCqGLSBbYo @zombieparmesan shootExtremely rare (not by choice) podcast appearance by Phil and mike. Not many are funnier than Lauren and Jon I love… https://t.co/cLk09G1Gw5 @earwolf @laurenlapkus @RBTVpod @philmatarese @mikelucianosup try again!
1/10
2019
If I was a dog I would not lick my own ass. I would carry around a small package of wet wipes, remove a wet wipe, t… https://t.co/oAgQi0dJZZ
1/9
2019
Sometimes when I’m trying on an outfit I’ll pretend I’m on my phone because I know that’s how most people will see… https://t.co/2TdUQJROz7Some people have 12 close friends like they’re a friggin movie character? That’s too many friends. Fluctuate betwee… https://t.co/ZNdSmfYkTe✨ANNOUNCEMENT✨ Here is a piece I made about the days of Abraham and Isaac (and Sarah), starring @HMonHBO ‘s Ben Sin… https://t.co/wf47RES4Vr
Retweeted by phil matarese @DFLEISCHERCAMP @HMonHBO @verovidetta Dean you always do the damn thang you’re the bestnone of us have added new friends on Facebook for like 10 years how is it still going @nickweidenfeld @Bossip https://t.co/Lfu7wmPkgH @tomnewman3 @mikelucianosup @HBO Idk the store seems to be down & we were also supposed to get wallet pins who know… https://t.co/kZbYWAxtKf @nabeelshaikh sounds like heaven to me!put on Fang Island's 2010 s/t for the first time in years and it completely changed my worldview i actually believe in god again @douchebaggette @YTCreators @TeamYouTube I have they’re not!was able to log back in but now it's all gone! @YTCreators ?? @TeamYouTube ? https://t.co/lNNQ8BoBcB
1/8
2019
A$AP Phil (Just trying this on)
1/7
2019
“Don’t Wake Daddy” (2019) for your consideration https://t.co/dKhuRz3wJ2I got in one little fight and my mom got scared She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air' And… https://t.co/v0346VXYwF @caitiedelaney I just butchered hard boiled eggs
1/6
2019
donate now https://t.co/9NA4zxAJ4Q
Retweeted by phil matarese @jonahray @JonahRaydio https://t.co/oJXiupuKjk
1/5
2019
🇬🇧 🚨🇬🇧🚨🇬🇧 UK WELCUM BACK TOMORROW NOIGHT, MIDDIE & A QUATAH (12:15am) https://t.co/JiQ6bdPWu9In 5th grade sex-ed I got so overwhelmed I lost my vision and had to be wheelchaired out @iMayola Hahaha that was the impetus yesMy favorite way to reveal two characters are siblings? EASY. Drop a big ole muthafuckin “Mom called...”
1/4
2019
I liked these books from 2018 - Beastie Boys Book - Billion Dollar Whale - Shitshow! - Bad Blood - Twilight of t… https://t.co/OswG7xmCKZMy favorite online interaction of last year https://t.co/MHSueIplw6Please send nudes N - new U - U2 D - downloaded automatically E - eeeeetsss, S - ssssaBEAUTIFULDAY
1/2
2019
@janeshrahlan Wait which one!Headspace, NOT NOW
1/1
2018
@KunkelTron are you relation to Will?!this year I grew a lot.... Of Hair!!!! Hahaha! Fuck man I’m depressed https://t.co/VoFKxxyvs0 @kanyewest U guys take the pool line I would think you’d use XL or at least UberXMay the New Year bring you love, joy, riches and luck. May you be amazed, astonished and truly awestruck. But if… https://t.co/rq872xuP8q @DanSpenser I was just thinking about how amazing it is some people can do flips @comic_mischief I have watched Sex And The City for an entire dayMe to negative shit trying to hitch a ride into 2019 https://t.co/tIienLXtIVCan’t believe it’s almost 2013
12/31
2018
My dad is wondering if he should take 18 to 520. Thoughts
12/30
2018
@TomLavery89 Japanese Breakfast!! @Jbrekkie @patrick_brice @JensenClan88 https://t.co/25X4gkkG0J @Buncahn For the last time I’m not going with youBrought my bros to the Japanese Breakfast show last night and they were str8 up MOVED
12/29
2018
@iMayola Ahahhaah @tiarawhyy @gmail @YouTube Thanks!2019 we retire people sharing personal news with “so... I did a thing” or “umm okay I wrote something” and especially “mama I made caca”
12/28
2018

0