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cocreator of the HBO show Animals. co-writer of upcoming #KEEBLER movie

1,508 Following   7,644 Followers   10,592 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/24/11


@AlmondMilkHotel Wait, "Keepin it Keep" !~!!!?? @AlmondMilkHotel mistakes were mademore than happy to have given Rebbeca absolutely nothing on her podcast https://t.co/Muye2FY7ky @eloyvseloy U deserve this @sleddingxtigers That’s insanehttps://t.co/zixn9RotAmAll i do in LA is eat tiny packets of tuna and greet one to three humans a week i’m like a very normal cat @CMosh2 @mikelucianosup It’s Keep it keeb or keep it Keebler
7/17
2019
@NateIzNate Thank uu ever have a bad day thats, like, a year @shelbyfero Shelby what if I told you you’ve been keepin it keeb all alonghe still make me laff 🤗 https://t.co/aYYdupVFUaKeep it #KEEBLER @philorphilip @mikelucianosup https://t.co/qeQdkglZVP
Retweeted by phil matarese @fangurley @mikelucianosup YESlil girl on the train had a clear backpack & that shit was filled with just rocks @ConnorCzapla This joke SUCKS @iluvbutts247 https://t.co/wuGlRv3mJI @ChetLaremy @nickusen animals on mofuggin HBO @iluvbutts247 Hahaha @6969_6969696969 U wish he was old
7/16
2019
@nickusen 1994. https://t.co/rV21wAYPIQJouin the #Keebler street team TODAY and Get a FREE STICKER IN THE MAIL! https://t.co/ILd6OSfb0W @MarthaKelly3 Love the 6 punch combo at 10 secondsme asking my Chic Alien Queen if i can play on her super computer after i already gave it a virus looking up guitar… https://t.co/rH6TrypjYbyou guys keep talking about the Aliens like they're not going to be insanely chic @6969_6969696969 Your sick! (Send first)
7/15
2019
I just got maried it sucks so bad @ainsleekm Good guy @OnlineAlison 9-1-1 https://t.co/XiHHpGYXEkDear god if you get me through this hangover I promise to do NOTHING FUK U I’VE HAD THOUSANDS OF THESE AND I ALWAYS… https://t.co/yPgTf6IDcI“I could take them down” -my mom re two cops (???)If ur dad still doesn’t pay for every meal in cash then frankly I do not trust him
7/14
2019
@lukeoneil47 No just drive @wavyDREADS Really? DM if soDoes anyone want a ticket to see Jawbox in LA tnu think some dogs are like *into* paws @threebarebears @netflix Bagel Boss animated adventures?? https://t.co/apZbXLsTu9 @glanderco Hahaha TRUE @allanmcatee Way agree(Talking to musician friend) How was t... to... tewr... tore... t-our... TOR... towr... teeewwwwrrrrr how was teeewwwwwrrrrrr @Str8OutOfHades OkA friend said Bagel Boss sounded like Phil dialogue & I’m absolutely flattered I love run-on sentences & screaming at tall dudes @DanSpenser I love my reply guy @jenniferkieule Please don’t go @BlaineNicholls They all are I’m the best at thisOk well to that I would simply say three things you’re not god or my father or my boss @philorphilip Had to https://t.co/pImgdlMb2c
Retweeted by phil matarese @caitiedelaney Hahahaha!! The parallels are unreal
7/13
2019
@danielleweisber I just learned too. My mom is pissed there’s not as much anymore because of recycling @crissymilazzo I’m marriedThese two kings just sitting talking art and New York and bagels and God https://t.co/6Ddweh7R1uFrankly I’m a fan of anyone who is furious @alwaysbenwright Is he badI’m fully team short bagel guyWait are you guys datingThinking about cigarettes (they’re cool) @1followernodad Is he 5’ @SidekicksOhio @GetAlternative @ryanstarinsky Love the poconosNo one do any work today let’s all quit
7/12
2019
@Jordansaidhey More info soo.Posting scrolling texting Not going down without a fight Never give up Never log offEntering New York without a charger and I accidentally clicked Update All I’m a FUCKING dead man @bowenyang Yesssssss
7/11
2019
@nickusen I remember for so long I thought it was a different actor and couldn’t have been PSHOk so like Yeti mugs are a personality all the sudden ? @ConnorCzapla It’s not great but you’re progressingBeach Phil is a facade i need to get back to my PDFs and computers @OnlineAlison Hon I got a few of those @OnlineAlison I think it looks like miles teller @homedepotfan91 Me I’m Dewey I’m 3 don’t curse
7/10
2019
Hey guys it’s me Dewey I’m 3 I like to lick. Just thinking about cursing I don’t like When people curse happy fourt… https://t.co/SVtpR0Bwua @erinisaway https://t.co/IYu3QpwLq7 @erinisaway No no the guys I’m referring to is Bruce SPRINGSTEEN. Very popular singer from New Jersey. Unless... am… https://t.co/Mfs5zmqLOcImagine his name was Bruce Stringbean
7/9
2019
@MarkDuplass Where are we going @sad13 @veronicamars @TheDandyWarhols @RobThomas @IMKristenBell @PD3Official @jason_dohring Happy birthday sad thirteen!I want to have a Laura Dern / Meryl Streep sit down with Tom DeLongeShailene Woodley in Big Little Lies asking Ziggy a question https://t.co/MdA9ARsvER
Retweeted by phil matarese @madamepotstein U think ur big reply guy? https://t.co/Bim270g53vWats the best thin u licked today haha I’m Dewey I’m 3 and in charge https://t.co/GIfgljH2ad @caitiedelaney This was egregious @aubreybell Yes we’ve hit our quotaHelo I am Dewey I am 3 and love to lick https://t.co/FTGOxj5bk9Huge news: I have lost alphaship over my parents many small dogs. Dewey is my leader now. I worship him and fear him accordingly. @animalshbopics Hahaha. Some cool ranch made that episodeI should have been Aspergers Surfer on BLL @pipcodes Thank you philipI have gone full beach https://t.co/R3IfKHaJbY
7/8
2019
Dads Toddlers 🤝 iPads @_Mik_e_ Cool ranch babyMy parents caught me sleeping with a bag of Doritos last night @LilNasX I like old town road @ChaseMit And that’s a good thing
7/7
2019
@duplaselton Katie please nomy FUCKING china @vincentdonofrio Hell yea vinny @danawillcutyou No I love that @tom923 PhotoshoppedSkiba play Cop
7/6
2019
Mark hoppus replies to every blip on weird twitter but when ole Phillie boy asks him to play diahrrrea grandpa song it’s RADIO SILENCE
7/5
2019

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