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Prince of lies. Read my comics on IG:

862 Following   267,346 Followers   34,566 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/28/15

@InternetHippo Welcome back!I'm committing truly immense fraud to fund a 56 million dollar shot-for-shot remake of Lord of the Rings where everyone has a Boston accent
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook accountYou really think happiness is what's gonna make you happy? get back to posting dumbass
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook account @bransonreese Einstürzende Neubauten @michaelleung Worried this’ll get confused with 500 Netflix comedy specials also called Trigger Warning @MurderBryan DO 👏 BETTER 👏 BABY 👏 HITLER 👏Folks I did it, I travelled back in time and killed baby Hitchcock
@BuckyIsotope @FrogAvalanche Unfortunately yes @DanMentos @andylevy Great now I have to delete my account @andylevy I’M UNHAPPY FOR REASONS THAT ARE UNRELATED TO HITLERI love twitter because outraged strangers can take your dumb tweet about toilet paper and twist it into a personal…
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook accountThis is a crummy way to find out I was recast
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook accountI ate 70% of my child's dinner to teach her a lesson about how much I love chicken nuggets
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook account @falafelfacts He dropped a new albumBut would you kill Baby Hitler if he had a powered exoskeleton that gave him the strength of a full-size Hitler? @crulge Put this in your bookWow, what a scoop! @imteddybless What is going on???? @ysfhkm @punished_picnic Michel Gondry was attached to direct an adaptation for a while but it fell through @punished_picnic UbikJames Blake and James Blunt are the same guy. Not reading the replies @SidizenKane Robert Banks is back baby, he's good again - awoooooo (wolf howl)It’s amazing how far Buzzfeed has come from its humble beginnings in 1998 as a gossip blog for the beekeeping industry @dearjhonletter That’s more like it @dearjhonletter This is the first photo of you I’ve seen where you’re wearing a shirt @bea_ker @KrangTNelson I’ve thought about this question and the genuine best answer I’ve got is: I saw Hannah Gadsb… @MattBors Nothing sells veganism like an aphex twin nightmare video @70Ceeks Fans Of The Band (Korn)Fvampires On The Bweekend @jeremydlarson You saw your parents gunned down in an alleyway, and that’s when you decided to become a music critic
@MattBarnette 🤑 @Prof_Hinkley CAR (presumably a hearse)Can’t believe that all those times I tweeted that I wanted to fuck Michael Cohen I could’ve been getting paid for it :( @hEnereyG EXACTLY @hEnereyG Louis will make jokes about the masturbating but he’ll never joke about this, because being a sex crimina… i am emailed for any reason whatsoever
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook account @mammothblood Lol @fart Anyone you run over with that car goes to heaven @_Jack_Graham_ Ha ha ha! @ELCresswell Looking good man 👍 @jasonstanden @DancesWithTamis YOU MAY NOT @DancesWithTamis If the new sequel isn’t this I’m gonna be mad @xtop Gotta be honest and admit Ted hasn’t written anything good for a long timeFollowed Marie Kondo’s advice and threw out 2080 of my 2110 copies of the Unabomber Manifesto #TidyingUp #SparkJoyHell yeah Brainiac documentary @robdelaney @vrunt Don’t trust you ..... I think you’re in the pocket of Big Monday @seandunn76 Happy for you buddy @SortaBad I already have to put up with this shit from Cory, don’t you start too @SirEviscerate Right in time for you to get destroyed by him in Smash @bencjenkins Oh yeah? I wish him luck in finding me in the hole I’ll be cowering in!!!! @bencjenkins Wow. Rude of you to create yet another person who could beat me in a fightAfter carefully evaluating all the options, I’ve decided that in the 2020 Democratic primary I’ll be supporting whi… @vrunt Is this a bit or are you really him? @kphipps3000 @tommchenry DRUNKEN MASTER 2 @tommchenry I’m extremely hyped to see non-garbage prints of these movies @seandunn76 I asked for a recount and now they give me 120 out of 100 for agreeableness, you piece of shit!!!!I took that 538 personality test and I think I learned a lot about myself @jon_snow_420 You know who wouldn’t need a weedwhacker? Wolverine
@jarin NNNNNNO
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook account @bea_ker HaaaaaA policeman catches me digging up a skeleton. I do the action for playing xylophone on its ribs and he motions for me to carry on.
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook account @pixelatedboat Giamatti?
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook accountDisney anticipated all your complaints about this and that’s why they’ve spent the last 23 years genetically engine… @online_shawn Got her @aedison awooouuuuuuuuuuu @online_shawn Lol @BAKKOOONN Remember how Batman was branding pedophiles so they’d be murdered in prison? Classic Batmanman on History Channel just said 'a gloating Hitler' and my immediate thought was 'that's one of the worst kinds'
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook accountThe new Spider-Man movie looks cool but did they have to put a spoiler right there in the title? @roqchams Trump has messed people up so badly that now they get horny for the physical embodiment of the concept of him going to prison @FlusteredKeaton The cast gives Ghostbusters a veneer of grown-up respectability it doesn’t really deserve @FlusteredKeaton I don’t think it’s possible to have any strong attachment to those movies if you didn’t see them as a kid in the 80s @drhappyknuckles Okay I’ll reply again in ... 2021 @drhappyknuckles May I have permission @drhappyknuckles Tony Blair? More like Tony B Liar!!!
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook account @cushbomb @kalebhorton No I mean in real life @kalebhorton The basic tension that makes the movie work is: Dan Aykroyd thinks ghosts are real, and Bill Murray th… 3 (2022) Dan Aykroyd (holding a bottle of crystal skull vodka up to the camera, obscuring half the fr… @zhandlen Special effects-heavy comedy is always a dicey proposition and thirty years of improvements in special ef… @zhandlen It’s one of those concepts that could really only work at that particular time with that particular cast*guy who just spent 9 months working on Yoda testicle physics punches a wall* @DavidFutrelle No, some of it is Doctor Who @chick_in_kiev Cuomo has an anime avi now and he’s tweeting that Stalin did nothing wrong @maplecocaine @michaelwhitney There’s a real chance he’s finding an underling so he can ask them what his phone passcode is @maplecocaine @chrislhayes He barely understands how to use twitter. He can’t even thread tweets! @meat_not_heat Actually the artist is clearly credited in the picture @gamespite Ha!Wow this blew up!!!! While you’re here check out this picture of a funny cat I found. He says what we’re all thinki…
@bea_ker Stop subtweeting meI have to admit this is better than my campaign slogan, “I am going to fight other people’s kids as hard as I fight… looking at a screen or movie poster again so I can continue to believe that the awful Spider-Man is dead forever @pixelatedboat now binding, the "Beanxist", or "Mr. Bean Exist" plan, comes with more questions than it does answers
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook account @jeremydlarson Fiona do Ty Cobb @Criterion @daveweigel Police Story hell yeah @prawn_meat That’s a heckin good pupper @prawn_meat I need to see this dog @pixelatedboat
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook account
Retweeted by official pixelated boat facebook account