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matt: @poastsbymatt chicago | he/him

halo theme song @postsbymatt alt

1,121 Following   7,890 Followers   8,877 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/17/10


message from the ceo of gamestop https://t.co/zEjwPo4NcE
Retweeted by matt: @jazz_inmypants you tried you’re best and that’s good for something maybe @jazz_inmypants wow!thinking of tweeting “vac-cine’s back, alright!” what do you guys thinkgoing viral in the chat https://t.co/PoxyvU4wIA
1/25
2021
if godzilla had any clue how to dodge a single punch it’s over for kong @HammerFist3 well that settles it @G4Ging i can’t today but fuck yeah i love settlersit’s my grandparents 60th anniversary so we’re going to do a big zoom call and i’m changing the subject to godzilla… https://t.co/FeKyq4LEupit’s lily time https://t.co/5aacrYUySN @carterhambley should be kong vs godzilla imho........ @userjaymes have you tried countingthat’s right jeans are for sleeping ONLY https://t.co/uBC2CdOFU9 @nxtvxkxng the correct way @aubviouslynot scrubs more like schlubs, what a bunch of jamokes
1/24
2021
to err is ummhttps://t.co/cdmateHMq0 https://t.co/B9GUFZcVYThttps://t.co/cdmateHMq0 https://t.co/FQPzRtwX6aIf y’all see these take them down...tryna call cpd on the youth https://t.co/E7ROintizT
Retweeted by matt:the sopranos is so cool i wish italians were real
Retweeted by matt:white house aides are begging joe to take this shirt off but he buttered himself up and is too slippery to catch https://t.co/nLC5bKei7P
Retweeted by matt: @BigTucsonDad down w the sickness 😖https://t.co/L5XYX6wjTg https://t.co/XBSGTUo5fb @badgirIkiki BIRTHDAY BOY BIRTHDAY BOY
1/23
2021
@lynndewitttoya top down ac with the cooler system(when i have an opinion) no you don’t understand (when i don’t have an opinion) lol it’s not that deephttps://t.co/E99o60RSl2
Retweeted by matt:Yall need to stop calling Justin Timberlake "JT". JT is a City Girl 😂
Retweeted by matt: @rudy_betrayed @cloudeeuhh @ABC she got caught you dork @bread_thunder some frats are like “tell everyone your deepest secrets” and others will hit you with a truck if you… https://t.co/rg3ynxPbZqDREAMER X BEASTMODE “Ice Hockey 101” @MoneyLynch https://t.co/sC35l4uLFZ
Retweeted by matt:i wish someone believed in me the way Q believes in anything
1/22
2021
https://t.co/0kBlgefJx6some of y’all are on twitter and i can tellhttps://t.co/tlWFH1Swx1 https://t.co/KyW0p2MTiuhttps://t.co/sqhBL0nuT5 @CdyRnkn whatever will give my life meaning or get me jacked as fucki need a new hobby. might get a harp. might do steroids. still undecidedA sea shanty for the barbz 😂 https://t.co/dUfk5ZItki
Retweeted by matt:https://t.co/14Ot7OHZgl
Retweeted by matt: @pienar i used to do this then i tried tiring my jaw out. if u press your tongue against the roof of your mouth har… https://t.co/4CsrGAOrEnthis song is always in my head. https://t.co/GR8Cq7xM4O
1/20
2021
i’m so greatcan’t be said enough: i toppled a dictatorTrump considers pardons for former New York Assembly Speaker, Lil Wayne: NYT https://t.co/sMHLKgvNzV https://t.co/wUoRCteLow
Retweeted by matt:
1/19
2021
song is “May the odds be in your favor” by Meet me @ the altar.@MMATAband this is me https://t.co/69Bw86vrOz @TheNotoriousHRT graphic design has gone too fari am going to fist fight the economyLosing it at this https://t.co/ZOId8dmDpc
Retweeted by matt:https://t.co/6CQJtZxbY3
1/17
2021
I didn’t know Kanye was Italian https://t.co/yNkk73h4gZ
Retweeted by matt: @JackWilliamRtF https://t.co/8yhPq09JmW @carterhambley the jerk store hasn’t been the same lately. @carterhambley pretty great that the jerk store keeps calling you @carterhambley im not even a doctoron my page we acknowledge that men can be victims of assault and how damaging this stereotype can be. https://t.co/cOJ3zC0oYV
1/16
2021
@dovenymph um @bobbyteriyaki woulda just turned around and pretended i didn’t see anything
1/15
2021
@pissboymcgee i’m here to talk if you need(me, missing the bus by 3 seconds) fuck this sucks (me, already on the bus watching someone miss the bus by 3 seco… https://t.co/yRX8sAGPuXhttps://t.co/bVc1pdPLkr https://t.co/7Ma29LgVbSfreezer burn? ummmm no freezer cold dummy
1/14
2021
@kelseybuckles E4#what no president does to a mf https://t.co/blM5dfwYpv @BigTucsonDad pbs stands for punch 🅱️ussels shitpost your results below!NEW CHALLENGE!!! type your first name and your favorite color into google and then i rob youI found the best of #seashantytok https://t.co/ellL5qfEoi
Retweeted by matt:yeah, i STG... STewie Griffin!half sea 🤝 half weed thank me later https://t.co/kbZzgcgyGe @ajbabyboi https://t.co/8gCO6TVF2Ztaking a test to prove to everyone how not-manipulative i am and posting it for everyone to seenot sure why i still scroll the timeline i can get the same thing doing this https://t.co/oG74RvfcYg @ajbabyboi every person i disagree with is as bad as hitlerhttps://t.co/19J06aNwbk🗣SOON MAY THE WELLERMAN COME TO BRING US SUGAR AND TEA AND RUMbrown pants is courageous but otherwise i think it’s solid https://t.co/Y5H8spxkZr https://t.co/XPbmqynhUa
1/13
2021
if kirby swallowed me https://t.co/V8ixEkmUySmore like george SNOREwell, these books are a snooze fest!more like orSMELLian, this guy stinks!theres no polite way to tell someone to google something. ur just wasting energy trying to be nice. just say google it you god damn moronthis review never leaves my head https://t.co/X7KATFFS1o
Retweeted by matt: @JackWilliamRtF since when is it illegal to have a disagreement with someone?worms? in my brain? it’s more likely than you think.
1/12
2021
new conspiracy just dropped https://t.co/bUD8iPhC3zHello people, my name is Kelly a single parent raising a young child and a disabled mom,Asking people for help in t… https://t.co/wv9iB8DVe9
Retweeted by matt:Hi everyone. I’m still trying to reach my target. Every support that comes my way will be greatly appreciated. Pls… https://t.co/T0oU4qUV2T
Retweeted by matt:
1/11
2021
When You Sell Weed With No Social Skills https://t.co/caBPTTlPQX
Retweeted by matt:https://t.co/Acd9i0CnwY
1/10
2021
https://t.co/nomfREIQbe https://t.co/EVaiTi6JL9i started sitting when i pee bc one time while i was at work my stream went rogue and hit my pant leg and i said i will not stand for thishello good morning tweetsIf you can wait 'til I get home Then I swear, come tomorrow This will all be in our past Well, it may be for the be… https://t.co/qG75bOkeyF
1/9
2021
GUYS https://t.co/RFVXWZdJ2B
Retweeted by matt:no other president in history has ever been suspended from twitter. really makes you think.gonna bring back the mastercard priceless joke format i think it’s exactly not the time for itwhat if you got to heaven and god was 5’8
Retweeted by matt:someone call spazio i think aoc is platform manipulating https://t.co/LxgAoVid3T
1/8
2021

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