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Author, performer, storyteller, bookseller, Disnerd. Horror & halloumi. πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ He/him @ooobroadway #BlackLivesMatter #BwiththeT MAINSTREAM @InkandescentUK

1,843 Following   1,685 Followers   16,202 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/21/14


@lauryngreen99 SWOON 😍 @JoshWinning WHY? Are they on here? πŸ‘€ @lauryngreen99 Omg, this is like a romcomTell me about your first, non-celeb, non-fictional crush. https://t.co/xJGL5yEFsaI've written to both @spectator and @Independent, asking them to correct the false claims about my politics publish… https://t.co/zesIq3Zuqb
Retweeted by Poltergeist πŸŽƒ πŸ‚ πŸ•―Chill Tidings is the new Season's Greetings. https://t.co/WoNaN3RJ3KApparently the story may not be entirely accurate, but either way I'm still doing this. @notcapnamerica I guess they'll be asked to wear a pink triangle.Talking about her HUSBAND while brazenly brandishing a wedding ring? [stomps over to rotary Bakelite telephone]I will now complain to the BBC every time a straight person mentions their straight relationship.That's right, it's those pesky controversial human rights issues again https://t.co/MSo0UBVDtr @nicolacoughlan YEEESSSS, and people will wipe tears from their eyes as they reminisce about our community spirit. :') @InkandescentUK Just haven't found *my crowd*, I guessThis, but for some reason nobody ever responds https://t.co/jWDnFZ0by5 https://t.co/EC1scnR6NO @mufseen @spencooper Aw yay, loved him on "Bake Off"!Do I forgo resting on my lunchbreak on this absolute trial of a day to write an autobiographical essay on "Hocus Po… https://t.co/t0ykZIOGKp @Mary_Stella94 @PenguinBooks Well done, Mary. Hope you'd found it all helpful πŸ’• @SheldonKGoodman No WAIT: I just read that it was used by close friends to cement a friendship. @SheldonKGoodman Planting trees, of course @LizzieJarrett9 No, I wasn't! And sadly, nothing I've ever produced has been interrupted by kittens.DESIGNERS! Would any of you be up for sending me a photo of your studio? Messy mid-work if possible! It is for a t… https://t.co/JOeC3EiH9Y
Retweeted by Poltergeist πŸŽƒ πŸ‚ πŸ•―*and, UGH @DanielRamsdenFL Hahaaaa!Didn't know I could have an anxiety dream about staging a school production of "Tarzan" that gets sabotaged by leav… https://t.co/jcmVnK1saE
10/29
2020
@jstodtv Aw, shame! Hope it's been helpful, at least, and that we'll soon see the book on shelves. I know I want it! Bisexuals represent! @blgtylr Teetering on the edge of Henry James shade there.Husband just gave top-level Erin Brokovich sass to a wannabe scammer on the phone. Am in awe. Me, I would've gone a… https://t.co/VUiRqKn344 @jamesglynn More like 2 months, after yet another huge increase in cases. @SheldonKGoodman I wanna know but I also don't. @lamethyst44 No @lamethyst44 Same, luv. (minus Bourbons, should remedy that) Hang in there!*authoritarian, ugh.Today is Greek national holiday Ohi Day, "the day of No", commemorating Greece's standing up to Mussolini in WWII.… https://t.co/nVEMx8OA3e @samatlounge When I think of the number of things I did for free, yet my CV continued to be ignored by the gatekeepers... @lfordisco I've been called opinionated quite often in the UK, but I'm like, "Guys, I'm not calling myself Leader - feel free to disagree??" @CemeteryClub You should see the Art Deco lion statues outside it. 😭 ❀️Nottingham, effortlessly slaying yesterday as I left work. https://t.co/Uvum7x4JhI
10/28
2020
@nmjcoveney Already streaming on Spotify! @JackDunc1 Don't know what this is specifically in reference to, but evergreen tweet tbh. @beau_jf Emphasis on funk! @ShazDrama I swear, sometimes the Lords save the Commons from total pandaemonium. @beau_jf Yesss, gimme that introspective funk-folk @seocelot Like, this is your progression as an artist, and your fans spend ages ranking your records. @seocelot Each is a different vibe. @shehulking A pro at 2yo. When will your faves??If you had to choose an old picture of you as an album cover, what would you pick? *** All killer, no filler. ***… https://t.co/DHhoQYtsk4 @bristol_pip Omg! Maybe send her a DM saying you'll speak to a lawyer. @JSPzro Folly? @JSPzro Bloody hell, well done! I'm the other way round, find it easier to write a novel than work on a single short story. @kimjoyskitchen Love it! 😍Bringing this sushi illusion cake back out for Japanese week on #gbbo! 🍣 https://t.co/awue2R6Vuy
Retweeted by Poltergeist πŸŽƒ πŸ‚ πŸ•― @niven_govinden I am agog and in awe of the Japanese for making a cake out of a stack of crΓͺpes. Legends. @BeeBabs And that they broke up! No? What is happening...?Blossoms 🌸 #ArtholeTuesday https://t.co/7cYEfwfGhY
Retweeted by Poltergeist πŸŽƒ πŸ‚ πŸ•―Once again, I had planned to bake something for #GBBO, realised I was missing a vital ingredient, then popped to th… https://t.co/T1HV9dvre1 @Vorac1ty No Home Counties-bashing! @tess_clothier ❗ ❗ ❗ @samwhatislife Well done, they look πŸ”₯! Have yet to tackle them myself, am very afraid. @tess_clothier WHAT is top right? πŸ‘€ @DeanAtta I for one am so glad you were talked into it!Me: I'm not one for nostalgia. Me while watching this trailer: TAKE ME BACK THIS VERY SECOND https://t.co/EpheCCSpUC @WHusseyAuthor Aw, luv ❀️ @_KieranSpiers_ @veryrareSimon Yeah, wtf with this duck-like approach to food?? Takes me at least three bites to ch… https://t.co/LfDM4CNtSHSMALLTOWN BOY Finn is bisexual. Nobody knows but when you live in a small town like his, everyone knows everyone,… https://t.co/watgpk6OJq
Retweeted by Poltergeist πŸŽƒ πŸ‚ πŸ•―I feel like I need to clarify: I knew what he meant, but my flirtation = making myself look like a tit and scaring people.Still over the moon that my story is included in @InkandescentUK's MAINSTREAM - a collection of stories by writers… https://t.co/JvXx2ww8j9 @TheTabbyLamb πŸŽ‰ 🎈I don't think I've ever been as hated as that time an Oxford graduate Xmas temp at Waterstones told me he'd written… https://t.co/oppWj8oF8j @suadarra Totally dodgy! @nmjcoveney Aw, li'l Nick! (P.S. Don't even remember the last time I used FB, so my latest profile pic on there is… https://t.co/MogPzCSMW9 @suadarra I'm guessing it's a phishing scam or something. Like wow. @TheTabbyLamb Oh eew.Also: back in Cyprus, Woolworths was like a better-quality Debenhams, so when I first waltzed into an English one,… https://t.co/qGallWDhwQ @TheTabbyLamb Are they not just rebranding?What I remember about Woolworths is heading over on a Monday after school to buy a couple of CD singles. @AnneHBuckland @joelbuckland Happy anniversary, luvs! πŸŽ‰ 🎈 πŸŽ‚Her name was Reeva Steenkamp https://t.co/so1M9hA60u
Retweeted by Poltergeist πŸŽƒ πŸ‚ πŸ•― @timlebbon Did I mention when I was very sick on New Year's Day I said, "It's not like this is a sign"? @Arborglyph @jstodtv For DHA Open Day?
10/27
2020
@sajidjavid Nice deflection. https://t.co/7egBClqjmS @W_J_Hugo @LittleMix Took a sip from a secret potion! @urbaneprofessor Plus those dramatisations are so cringe. Did the opposite of make me take this seriously. @timlebbon Just like the EU Referendum, I guessed right. So really I'm to blame. [banishes self from village] @blgtylr Squealing!Sometimes you really just have to put yourself in someone else's shoes. πŸ‘πŸ» https://t.co/bTsp1ejXeq @jstodtv You might still get it! Best o' luck @jstodtv Omg I actually made that deadline!Literally the only one I've managed in months. πŸ’€ @sacha_coward @marcxsteele @SheldonKGoodman Whoa! Nice work, Dead Detectives. @jstodtv Which one? Obvs I missed it too, in that case πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ @sacha_coward This is how I shall begin my thriller script. @LondonDreamtime Hooray!Ananke was the goddess of compulsion, need, desire and inevitability. Some people reckon she was the mother of the… https://t.co/eSinfOZebeActually, I prefer "compulsion" to "necessity". Pretend I wrote that. @MxKelsieSkye @feralvenefica Yeah, I was just keeping it simple! Probably should be more precise, tbf. @JoeCwikla @MythologyMonday Yes, it means all of that! Was translating very basically. @holm97a Love it!In Greek mythology, Chronos (Time) and Ananke (Necessity) mingled in serpent form around the primal egg of creation… https://t.co/j2fT3m6nezThem: It's so sunny out there! Isn't it- Me: Them: Hideous. Marvellous? Them: What? Me: What?
10/26
2020
@F_Calderwood 😍 And that was the shortened, boring version of what happens!Donkey content to cleanse the TL https://t.co/wC0GGNnWo9
10/25
2020

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