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gay shit 🌈 tending gardens and planting seeds 🌱 If you have to question if my thoughts are my own, you lack common sense.

485 Following   1,239 Followers   14,713 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/15/09

@catdaddymd I'm hoping she'll donate most of it to charityI put together a GitHub template repo for authoring `npm` modules with TypeScript. It sets up: 🔹ESM, CommonJS, and…
Retweeted by Evan Jacobsadulthood is really discovering half ur family is mentally ill
Retweeted by Evan Jacobs @michaelharriot JK RowlingThe pharmacy part of CVS is SO BUGGY. Literally entering the store number and Rx number off the bottle and it can’t find the scrip lolOf course I got a haircut today and can’t show it off because I have a massive zit that looks like a bindi 😢Who wore it better @ShameandEggs @comradespooky Go to a bathhouse @amdev83 @comradespooky Clearly I’m in the wrong bathrooms @jdetle Damn I missed itThis is how you write thicc now: thicↄ It even looks like a butt
@chrisbiscardi Next. I’m using gatsby at work and it’s fine... but I prefer NextThat the blobfish is ugly. You wouldn't look so great either if you'd just undergone a rapid depressurisation of 1…
Retweeted by Evan Jacobs @jdetle Mostly sustainability, but price per kWh for renewables is set to drop over time @jdetle Did you switch your bill over to be wind sourced? You can do that in AustinYeah pretty much lol @haysstanford SequelThere should be an emoji for a polite bow. The current one looks like when you bow to an emperor, which is a bit too extreme
@WashedUpLinkie @chirasul new rule: bank accounts are 32-bit integers now; if you try to have more than $2 billion it goes negative
Retweeted by Evan Jacobs @jdetle That's great news!911 in my ass 😂 to mask
Retweeted by Evan JacobsWhoever designed the app icons in Big Sur.... no... @_jayphelps @keithkurson Yeah there was a lot of death and grisly scenes for a YA novel. Still superb world building @keithkurson I LOVED that series. Still want some coohatch steel @Enichan I wanted to respond with a gif of the lady from Star Trek I that got possessed by the energy cloud and cal… notes Melania
Carousel components drain my will to liveThe emoji in Microsoft Teams look like they were designed by a Scandinavian Kids' TV show animatorI just want @DaveBautista to crush my head between his biceps against his chest @charles_jensen Mai Lastemail @charles_jensen Per MylastemailIt's time for structural changes to the budget process in Boston. We can give residents power by modernizing and de…
Retweeted by Evan JacobsYESSSSS @koen_dev @mxstbr They’re not comparableBLEP
Retweeted by Evan Jacobs @Vanessid @charles_jensen I have been completely drained of energy the past couple days. Totally right, it’s the moon @joshzinn JOMO @charles_jensen It’s full of flamers
2020 @erinwb @ftrain This sounds fine honestly. I did the same thing at their age and turned out fine @TugboatMcPuppy You look really good with your face uncovered boo
@JustSumGuy176 Think good thoughts *virtual hug*Could not be less interested in Hamiltonthe boba in my tea when i take a sip
Retweeted by Evan Jacobsmask it or casket
Retweeted by Evan Jacobs @TugboatMcPuppy 😁 @TugboatMcPuppy FOMP. Fear of missing puppies @bilbo813 You are the cutestIdk why anyone works for FB anymore. They’re a fucking trash company and you all know it, have a little integrityCame across this website via random google and omg I will never look at a coffee table or wall clock the same way a…😉😆😍🤪🎙😑
@jordwalke @sahrens2012 Debt is meaningless at the government level @kenkeiter 500 is extremely generous. I’d say 100
@cpojer rASM @slinan Damn that’s salty
Come work with me and @jeffgnatek! Looking for seasoned engineers and devops wxtches. 🖤 Help us grow the ethical… there anything better than getting stoned and watching Barefoot Contessa? @palmerj3 Ordering online is the best bet I think at this point @_developit @medburnbook $$$ @jason_mantell Hot oil and 4 beautiful pork cutlets all over the kitchen floor. Thankfully didn’t burn myself
TIL, don’t use the silicone handle under a normal oven mitt. It’s too slippery 😑Whenever I don't know what to do I think of what @AOC would sayAnyone else have a problem with the netlify-gatsby integration causing unbounded build cache size? It seems like ol… @jhooks Austin is very nice. I lived there for a year and enjoyed the weather, good food, and awesome nature.My life with haemochromatosis @SAMBANKSFTW Antagonizing them just will have downstream negative effects on more vulnerable populations @adamauckland Eventually
@SaraSoueidan Couldn’t care less @kenkeiter Sir, that's not legal tender @TugboatMcPuppy Oh I don’t know. You’re pretty cuteJust finished Foundation and Empire. Didn’t expect Asminov to end a book with a dick joke LOL @elonmusk Believe it or not, you don’t have to tweet every thought you have @jdetle Ugh. Thankfully I only ever saw one while I was in Austin
Those who have stayed inside, wore masks in public, and socially distanced during this entire pandemic are the same…
Retweeted by Evan JacobsI don't think anything I've seen so perfectly captures why there's no way the US is going to be getting on top of C…
Retweeted by Evan Jacobsjust passed an Olive Garden with a packed parking lot. imagine dying for Olive Garden
Retweeted by Evan Jacobs @mountainjrew If so you win! Everyone wants you! @AmericanAir y’all deserve to lose your company over removing social distancing restrictions on your flights during… @cpojer Oh 1000% yes. The DI it uses causes a lot of bugs too with version duplicationFlat design @TugboatMcPuppy It’s still mansplaining @cpoliticditto Having cable @literalbanana DTF
2020 has gotten way too complex. I have no idea what’s happening anymore @Lucifer_GodsSon RaccoonNectarines are the best fruit @ariabuckles @aleril_a @tesseralis Thanks! @Muna_Mire You will when you BELIEEEVEEEEECan’t come soon enough would be an amazing day to arrest the killers that murdered Breonna Taylor.
Retweeted by Evan Jacobs @kenkeiter She’s there when you want her. Now with 100% more JIT!Florida man charged in death of grandma found in maggot-infested bed 😢 @kosamari What’d I miss?Padma Lakshmi’s new show on Hulu is pretty good. Half history lesson, half food explorationSecond best is my T3 vértebra constantly shifting out of place and having to do a torque maneuver to reset itThe best part of having EDS is your shoulder randomly developing deep ache from doing absolutely nothing