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Procurement Punk @procurepunk Butt's Green, England

I'm the deadpool of procurement. If easily offended don't follow. views are mine and I really shouldn't have to apologise for them.

84 Following   557 Followers   2,158 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/21/16

@timothy_barnes Jeremy corbyn. @EssexCanning Jeremy corbyn.Midweek mood:
Retweeted by Procurement PunkA bad limbo dancer walks into a bar
Retweeted by Procurement Punk @manfykelly I don't like trump. Pretty much Labour or Conservative it's all the same so don't care about politics… is what social media was made for. @manfykelly If it helps. Then go for it. :) @Jaynaged But a wide variety of meals in a convenient plastic tub. The tub can then be used to construct a miniatur… seriously worried about coronavirus. Stock up. Sounds daft but what harm a couple of weeks of pot noodles etc gonna do.
Retweeted by Procurement Punk political posts Offended for other people/values posts Offended by others tweets so feel the neet to tweet…
Has your organisation made any plans in the event of conovirus supply chain disruption. A few emails from supplier… @ScornflakeGrrrl Yes but a quick easy one. How do you know what's strategic if you don't know what's there.It amazes me how few people are willing to entertain doings pareto spend analysis on their spend. If you don't hav… @procurementorg In a lot of cases it involves kick backs and freebies. @manfykelly @procurepunk Need this for stakeholder management
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Me vs Monday @Kershaw_MCIPS @CIPSNorthLancs @CIPSNIreland @CIPSMENA @CIPS_SA @CIPSEastAnglia @CIPSBirmingham @cipsnews problem a lot of the time is not the supplier. It's your organisation failing to understand value or what it a…
@procurepunk Poppycock! The bottom of the bottle is where the magic happens.
Retweeted by Procurement PunkThe best advice I can give anyone right now is to not drink the whole bottle of alcohol.Actaly thay hav proovd tht as longg as aboutt haf th lttrs r rite thn wee ccn undrstd prfetly wel wot is riten
Retweeted by Procurement Punk This is fun... @mvollmer1 @SAPAriba @SAPFieldglass @Celonis Okay look I will come. I just need plane tickets hotel and expenses. @procurepunk Orange squash. I’d like to be sinking my teeth into a large glass of Pinot but my (transplanted) kidne…
Retweeted by Procurement Punk @laydeewells @procurepunk I’m about to enjoy a cup of tea in the shower. I know, right? Boujie.
Retweeted by Procurement Punk @procurepunk All the gin
Retweeted by Procurement PunkWhat are you drinking tonight procurement people? @DerekStolpa an awards event where people pay to be nominated... Erm.... @Kershaw_MCIPS @MCulleyMCIPS @TimYoungMCIPS, but I might be a specilasit. In procuerment that is. Running inititives (that is the word I mis-spell EVERY tim…
Retweeted by Procurement Punk @GarethWynDavies Procurement 101Why 7? Sorry David even though qualified and more than suitable we notice that you were only brilliant at your job… out there a specilsit? Sounds intriguing. job adverts. Seriously we need to understand we are not at the top table. Look at this disaster. gives best service? Large org with dedicated sales team: you are one of many similar customers Small local: y…
It's important to get the message clear to stakeholders. only procurement role I want has cheese and pickle in it. @NegotiationPod The schwarz is strong @CordieLtd Come on its true "networking"
Political posts... @gt_llp @CIPSSLondon See me? @paulineyau @Rachel0404 No. But I've been in places where the line ups look quite similar.#procurement pipe bombs pipe bombs @GarethWynDavies Shhhhh it's need to know. I love how many councils blank out transactions under X amount to hide… @manfykelly Watch this space. @Huffy14 in the real world. #realworld we all know its true @CordieLtd So many will ignore this tweet becuase they want to shout about that great contract or tender. A spend… not is. Fucks sake girl sort it out. @ProcuredAngel I just think that as they preach transparency they should lead by doing so. Nothing to hide I'm sure.It's now mid Feb. Have you analysed your 2019 spend yet to capture all that rogue spend? No point in shouting abou… @ProcuredAngel @_RoyDennis @procurepunk Or start a crowdfund page to get you to the CIPS Conference 😎👍🏻
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@ProcuredAngel @_RoyDennis many events So few invites. Maybe I will just have to start gatecrashing. Isn't that called disruptive transformation or something.Is cips obliged to publish spend on suppliers themselves? @Kershaw_MCIPS Head of CIPs?Supply Management is pants this month. #procurement #purchasing
Retweeted by Procurement Punk @_RoyDennis How did I miss this. Gold. "hey we listen" but only in the selected forums and if we don't like what…
So no takers then? When's your event maybe I gatecrash. @TheSnowDreamer @manfykelly Fuuuuuuck.I see the SCUM have blood on there hands again LG x
Retweeted by Procurement PunkSorry. Those who get it, I understand your point, but don’t agree. Take offside out of VAR rulings. Nobody complain…
Retweeted by Procurement Punk @laydeewells @ScornflakeGrrrl A good fisting
Seriously. Your next procurement event. Me. Bring it. @GarethWynDavies @manfykelly But cips might get angry @GarethWynDavies @manfykelly Or @GarethWynDavies @manfykelly I'm thinking more luchasauras these days. @CEO_AISOMA @mvollmer1 @ipfconline1 @evankirstel @Fabriziobustama @HeinzVHoenen @CRebbereh Like seriously the ris e… @DerekStolpa follow this bloke. He gets it. @manfykelly @GarethWynDavies Come on Gareth you cips sell out. Just kidding. Great work. Probably. @ScornflakeGrrrl I await details.Okay I'm Shit faced. No other procurement person for an event would give you this kind of commitment... To alcohol. @darshan_h_sheth @mvollmer1 @wef @MikeQuindazzi @evankirstel @kashthefuturist @Ronald_vanLoon @Paula_Piccard @CEO_AISOMA @mvollmer1 @ipfconline1 @evankirstel @Fabriziobustama @HeinzVHoenen @CRebbereh No I will unplug it. @ScornflakeGrrrl Venue. Time. Hotel and beers provided if possible. Take me on with some ideas or let me rant @Jaynaged Sometimes perhaps on more than a weekly basis murder seems like the obvious answer.If procurement was a date on valentines night it would be someone who's profile picture badly matched the reality,… @Jaynaged Great event where 56 year old blagging procurement person can post he's been somewhere semi decent when I… @Jaynaged @Jaynaged "having a great time at" followed by middle aged white dudes and angry looking lady sat either round a ta… Here's the deal. Your organisation, cips branch, training thing whatever the fuck it is. Name a date and a… @Jaynaged There will be people who won't know who these are and I think that's as scary as who these assholes were. @mdansell @premierleague @FA Some do. These people are also called twats. @Jaynaged Like seriously some of the LinkedIn photos of events are fucking cringe worthyValentines. Here's to the happy couples. @mvollmer1 It's a glitch in the matrix all "conferences" or events have to be smart suit rows of chairs someone standing infront of a sideshow? Really…'s my thoughts on why collaboration with suppliers is increasingly essential, not just a nice-to-have. Procurem…
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@Ellbeau I'm not right about anything.My last tweet was some words of wisdom. Here's some specific words of wisdom aimed at know it all procurement type…