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queer guy so everything i tweet is allowed

672 Following   357 Followers   20,807 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/23/12

Hooting and hollering telling all my friends there’s 15 corps in this one crew rocks @MinovskyArticle man that's a deep cuti think the only nationality in europe that i wouldn't dunk on is irish people. they seem coolthe biggest thing i miss about new york is the cellar doors every six feet. not joking @Yelix god nfl team logos suck ass @newMAugustine he's extremely good at that very specific boomer thing of when you make a joke but pretend not to re… @newMAugustine he's a treasure @newMAugustine 88 times is a lot you would think Benetti would know that @newMAugustine holy shit @malloy_online it's not a personal judgement i am simply observing that he's a labrador @newMAugustine is that true? did everyone just forget about an out @malloy_online never met him but i can tell hes a massive dope. @yevangelion i love telling people ill quit smoking eventually, knowing full well it will be the thing that kills me @CoachBigNate @Yelix @Ninjaharlot loves birkenstocks and scrunchies does not sound like a new thing so really when…"put edelgard in smash," i scream, as the mob ties ropes around each of my limbs and fastens them to a squad of horses @tepni i have body dysmorphia too that shit sucks. anyway you really don't have to worry about it. are you seeing… @Yelix @CoachBigNate im just trying to figure out what sksksk and andioop sounds like as a laugh irl @ScottBloodborne they should put more fire emblem characters in smash honestly im a lucina main but i would switch…"whats the record for most strikeouts in a single inning?" long pause "currently, three", genuinely, the design is so good that i could mount it on the wall and someone who came into my apartment wou… @MomentumNDevon @ZachariahAnder6 @AyoCaesar thank uit was... just too rad i bought the giant bomb deck @BATHSmusic matcha tap @eponawest @ByYourLogic read that as "tollyscwapped" which is something she'd prolly say. the british are perverse @ByYourLogic @eponawest have you ever seen who the BBC thinks get to be TV stars? pasty weirdos. it's bad @ZachariahAnder6 @AyoCaesar ah i guess this joke doesn't make sense for british people where vicars get to bone or whatever. @ZachariahAnder6 @AyoCaesar communists are sposed to be like clergy, i agree. they're not allowed to do stuff @ByYourLogic @eponawest "we're flying from london to norwichington beach, 17 miles away. it will be a max of 64 deg… @tepni is this real question or like a taxi driver "who you think youre talkin to" thing @eponawest caring about stuff is gross! it's low class, frankly!!!normal day, just talking about how human frailty and guilt are the purest sources of horror with the guy that designed pyramid head @adsk4 the capacity for violence in people, and the guilt associated with it. that's what's really scary. @adsk4 yeah. that's probably why Silent Hill remains so scary. like, the scariest thing in Silent Hill 2 is the ide… all call him Dinky Dick Dave. since the medical board and the bar association are in bed together, they added a… portnoy has a little dick. a very small penis. I'm straight up his doctor and when he comes in i make sure t… @nephew_time @timheidecker yeah @vidaisonline hell yeah. peep me cleaning before my therapist comes to my house to help me clean. @nephew_time yeah @adsk4 isn't there an saying like, "the people who are most easily scared are the best at making horror"? even if… watched a youtube video where they said you should wash your hands after 'coming into contact' with a dog. no. i won't. fuck off. eff upretty sure the guy who runs the channel is conservative so i bet the raven is fucking with himtheres a raven on youtube that knows how to work a remote and changes the channel back to CNN whenever it has access to the remote.i bet they can readi bet corvids think parrots are cops. like "yo what the fuck why would you let them know we understand language"when i was on san juan island in washington, there was this raven that was just all about french fries. it kept hop… i might get heavy into birdsravens are the wife guys of corvidsi bet if you could talk to crows they'd be really funny but also say some fucked up eldritch shit sometimesjust found out carrion crows and american crows are different species. what the fuckcorvids rock @marrowing clearly not this one @marrowing what is that, a magpie? those birds have long memories did you kill its dad @JoannaMang @i_zzzzzz okay i take it back. this writer is smart and talented. they're driving us insane on purposeThe worst part of the meme cycle
Retweeted by pancaked by drunk dump truck driver @Unique_Unorque @pc98jr most memorable russo bros scenes: the heroic sacrifice of tony stark, the part in community… @Unique_Unorque @pc98jr that uh makes a lot of sensehey live production people. how come tricasters cost 20 thousand dollars but always seem like they're about to expl… @willy_auge do you remember the specialistsfuck, the specialists was so cool.if you just made a game exactly like the specialists but on unreal or even source it would eventually be the bigges…
Retweeted by pancaked by drunk dump truck driverFUCK OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Retweeted by pancaked by drunk dump truck driverhaving a truly great time faving tweets on this friday nightsomeone commenting "how can the lizard be so stupid" under a video of one getting killed by a praying mantis. i'd l…
Retweeted by pancaked by drunk dump truck drivereven if it's about him dying. i just wanna do away with the heart palpitations i get whenever i see his name in a hedim advocating a new style guide for publications which states that any headline about hayao miyazaki has to be preceded with "not dead" @JeremyMonjo nicole kidman syndrome big time @JeremyMonjo she was so wooden in fringe so it's good they cast her as a character probably described in the script as "wooden"macon blair is so great as "look im just a racist all this killing people stuff wigs me out" nazimindhunter's insanely aspirational television. make up your own high-status job, be terrible at it, travel the coun…
Retweeted by pancaked by drunk dump truck driver @kathbarbadoro big fan of the octopus that was like "i will put this trash down the drain and you better watch me doing it"green room rocks. @videodante people i know have been like "why'd they set green room in portland?" well @FoxFondue that being said i would take dumps on company time and get buzzed on the store intercom the entire time but hey. had to poop. @FoxFondue worked cash register at whole foods and it was true before amazon bought thempaul verhoeven rockssaying it's because of the green bubbles is putting the cart before the horse. the green bubbles are stigmatized be… @3liza @eltripol every time i'm in a group chat with an android user that shit breaks and all of the sudden there a… @JeremyMonjo we got uhhh broadway guy, bargain bin batou, the btk killer uhhhh @Papapishu @mice_nerd elle is the one where he superman dunks on g*tors right @getfiscal they nuked your ass from space dude, log the fuck offunreal tournament voice holy shit @Yelix nap time
@spindlypete is that like, an under 26 thing? @f_a_r_t_s corey, i love you 3000first off: the spaceships has a face. second off: paul rudd punches it @pc98jr it's a movie. but we all know the mcu is just a tv show @pc98jr avengers endgame. the season finale of the marvel movies tv showpeople love to talk shit about Endgame but can they think of another movie where paul rudd punches a space ship in the face?🌹 Cooking dinner for our anniversary🌹
Retweeted by pancaked by drunk dump truck driverif bonebone dies im going beast mode @Boringstein also the ultimate troll is don hughes, come on @Boringstein i saw the person that started the petition interviewed and she said "we want to troll the ultimate tro… @Boringstein i think they just wanna rename the stretch in front of trump tower, but like, cmon. this is pathetic lib shit @f_a_r_t_s jus dm @f_a_r_t_s ?? @theneedledrop was this sposed to be for insta @f_a_r_t_s i was wonderin if it was a*m*es pcast @f_a_r_t_s is it the australian one