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510 Following   778 Followers   7,510 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/1/14

shut the fuck up already
@JacobtheGirafte @TargetStation5 Cummies @sandwich1938 It seems like someone is holding a gun to his head behind the camera and telling him to act happy @JacobtheGirafte @TargetStation5 Hello dear @JacobtheGirafte @TargetStation5 ??? @pinkhairedbitc @ridha_____ Better luck next time*buys whole bunch of bananas because he’s too lazy to remove just one* *hands cashier $50 and tells him to keep th… @ridha_____ @pinkhairedbitc It cant be this easy
No real person has ever needed to say “I am a very real person” the second day of Christmas, my true love giva to me 2 garlic cloves AND A BOWL FULL OF PARMESAN CHEESE!!!
@JacobtheGirafte Huh???who knew rock bottom was this low?Forgot to crop it. Thanks reddit @JacobtheGirafte Wtf @RaccoonIsSad die motherfucker
Retweeted by sad raccoon @JacobtheGirafte @AsaNotAkira Buckets of golf balls is a standard unit of measurement @JacobtheGirafte @JacobtheGirafte Wb my feetId like to Die “Hard” if you know what I meanHunting my roommates for sport
I was born in the wrong generation @StopItShane 1st rule of the internet: if i have to see it, so do my followers
2021 my pants, pulling down my mickey mouse underwear and slapping my massive mammoth balls on my boss’s desk to assert my dominanceMy large balls
@hugginfool @nohop33 Idk about browns fans but i know that nolan is consistently down badI use a compass and sextant to find the clitoris @helloitsbaymax @howdyboye I just bought a fake .strandberg its okay @helloitsbaymax @howdyboye Id suck and fuck for that les paul
Im telling my kids this was Frank Zappa @liluzifancam I got a couple inches you can have for $600 but i aint talking surgery @mybabelproject Haha cameI always say that if you have to take a pee, just take a pee @enzoriverss Dont talk mad bout feces and onions bruv thats shit is phenomenal on my mumJizzing and cumming at my friends house (social distancing)I also like no pineapple on my burgers @crunchytitty Nice hat and cat @yashar What @sabpie_ Lol i have the same chair wanna be my gf @margebertha Robin deserves to be aloneI have the cure to covid im just not sharing it because you all need to learn a lesson @chridollarsign Go Bills @chridollarsign Throwing my adolescent child through a table and a cake because my sports team won a game @DanGunning6 Yall gon make him act up @onlinesuffering SHES AMAZINGDtwitteroffald
@samelpan2 Inferior feline thinks the laser is another organism for consumption HAHAHAHAHA we truly are the superior species
*Aziz Ansari impersonating Borat* My wife @nosirskii Shitty cum cum balls in my face
The Pope? More like the PoopMoosepasteJames and the giant dick and ballsKetchup is just mustard but made with tomatoes instead of mustardsI have lost my mindSookin and fookinI hate my followers bc they only like my tweets when they are horny @FrickinDelanie He jus like meStoring coins in my foreskin like a little dick purse
Redhead Redemption call me Arthur Organ @COSTCOBACKWOODS Damn @yourlilspoob In my 10 years of experience, zero @JacobtheGirafte Playing games w a local rn
2021 hungry rn havent eaten in daysWilma Fingerdoo @JacobtheGirafte I am the provider of thy nooky @JacobtheGirafte I am her surrogate. No? @JacobtheGirafte Mm baby yesraccoon @friggin_ana Ily @helloitsliz_ I was paralytic when i wrote that my badi dont need mcdonalds rn i dont need mcdonalds rn i dont need mcdonalds rncollege boy didn’t know you were gay because you don’t have a picture of you kissing a girl on your instagram? @friggin_ana We could do thid and yhen wake up in under a tree on the middle of a firld with a picnic and we just h… @helloitsliz_ Happyy new wyesr lzoxi @samelpan2 Its my yearCant believe covid is over now @TUNNELV1S1ON OkOmggfghfhhffg drunkOmggggfhfhfgg hornyyyyntigtyyyyyI never use condoms. Its operation pie or dieAt a (small) new years evenfucntion with my frends and immmmmhornyyyyy @clay_png Listen, Neo. You’re either gonna fuck me or you’re gonna die @lilnimrita Lmk
@JoeZanelotti Wtf @JoeZanelotti 4b? @justcaem Hi chip @ltpenguin_ NiceI need a gf who buys a DXRACER just to stream “Just Chatting” on twitch @FrickinDelanie Then youd be cool probably lolA message to my cock and balls: The beatings will stop when morale improves
@FrickinDelanie 4b! @onlinesuffering U could call me🥺U was never dat nigga if nobody tht u was gay @ some point
Retweeted by sad raccoon @jacobccfisher You’re so smart. And handsome @jacobccfisher He looks photoshopped in. Something aint right @zoobackk Purchase goods and services? Idk