Sign in with Twitter

Username:

just messing around. writer at the daily show. rich parents

1,007 Following   33,597 Followers   3,138 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/10/15


ok, here’s how Bernie can still wintwo of my kids have never known an america without trump as president. they don’t know what decency looks like. the… https://t.co/UAFWGTVCzO
Retweeted by Randall OtisI feel this inauguration is what white church feels likeBiden always looks like he’s staring directly into the sunHe really thought “uncivil war” was gonna hitThis mfer’s middle name is robinette? Impeach nowladies and gentlemen.... the President of the United States https://t.co/QhcsvT6QAQ
Retweeted by Randall Otis
1/20
2021
1/20/20 2:21 PM https://t.co/QWyHpkbYI1
Retweeted by Randall Otis
1/18
2021
Old people had it so good that the elderly guy in UP could own a house from a career of selling balloons
1/17
2021
I had to go back and change before my doctor’s appointment. I’m not about to get diagnosed with something in a trash fit @bruziofficial @thesummerqueen @kungpaohunny @bordxoxo @pinkiewinkie @iBiteiStrike your SoundCloud beats are trash
1/15
2021
Narrow grip, no arched back, and benching 485lbs raw. Mrs. Fizzle is on the juice. https://t.co/jeHbG2KilH
Retweeted by Randall OtisIt is https://t.co/qNKcLcaPBy
Retweeted by Randall OtisBiden’s gonna give his inauguration speech like https://t.co/H9YawWd2F0
1/14
2021
Impeaching the president is like adjusting the office thermostat. You know that shit ain’t changing anythingA message for Ben Shapiro https://t.co/hSHxwgFYH5siri, play back to backsame energy https://t.co/3QE31o0inlthe key to every girls heart https://t.co/a6PARNIWEw
Retweeted by Randall Otisthey should make covid in charge of distributing the covid vaccine everyone would get it so fast
Retweeted by Randall Otis
1/13
2021
@NYGovCuomo https://t.co/lIjaCcsGYr
1/12
2021
@garyvee @NILES100just saw trump on Chatroulette
1/8
2021
@Mufoo6 https://t.co/5NGMuy0MFI @kylegriffin1 https://t.co/JyEoaugXT7 @MohanadElshieky do not delete the post @MohanadElshieky https://t.co/7cuBLJuXVWThe kid from home alone protected his house better than the cops protected the capitol building @Chevron wtfbro i can't believe they're doing this to prevent a Joe Biden presidency like yall will literally be ok
Retweeted by Randall Otishahaha so what, they expect us to just be cool after thisI really don’t like that it’s spelled “capitol”this the capitol’s security system https://t.co/pYiWcLDl5dYou can’t even do this shit on GTA
Retweeted by Randall OtisBREAKING: Neopets just deactivated the president’s accountKanye gets a divorce and the whole country goes crazy. That family was keeping America togetherinstagram tomorrow https://t.co/zqnwIQbEAS
Retweeted by Randall Otis
1/7
2021
I’m in a safe location we’re good Y’all know this is insurrection and terrorism right? https://t.co/3UUwqUDNbP
Retweeted by Randall Otis @SenateGOP https://t.co/SagpYiOYkBJust saw cops celebrating on the roofs in New JerseyThe weirdest part is gonna be when Lin Manuel Miranda makes a musical about thisthis coup has zero drip https://t.co/tvhwGEDe0Gthe cops are now making out with the insurgents
Retweeted by Randall OtisDamn nigga, the apprentice wasn’t even that goodTrump playing Closing Time out of the capitol building’s PA systemLAWD they done let all the economic anxiety into the capital.
Retweeted by Randall OtisStorming the capitol building, y’all want anything?im in nancy pelosi office cookin up https://t.co/W4IR8q6o8Y
Retweeted by Randall OtisI know kim happy she don’t have to wear them hunger games clothes no more
Retweeted by Randall OtisKanye's not the presidential candidate I expected to get a divorce
1/6
2021
@sgtballsvevo https://t.co/CP43yknJfDHey guys! Quick personal announcement: I'm finding this website to be increasingly toxic and negative, so I wanted… https://t.co/KpDajetL1c
Retweeted by Randall OtisI want this but with cheese crackers https://t.co/PgdGsSCeT7
1/5
2021
We are the sons of the men you couldn't send to therapy
Retweeted by Randall Otis
1/4
2021
@klarth it’s a quote tweet. it’s automatically tagged @klarth you could have just done that @klarth nigga what @eventhrutheodds let’s just agree overall the show was very goodit’s not just you: the internet has gotten significantly worse in virtually every respect.
Retweeted by Randall Otis @Dean_Sliger https://t.co/xcQjJ9kEoN
1/3
2021
@AlexPriceIndeed haha I was just joking around but I do appreciate the advice. Gonna stick with it @JayJurden https://t.co/cP7FU6ge5pGrandma: “So many sports involve balls. Baseball. Football. European football. Golf. Table tennis. It’s really quite remarkable”Grandma gives the best sports commentary “Catch the ball” “He needs to catch the ball” “I would catch the ball” @glassjawn nice @feraljokes Strong “blacks rule” vibes @General_3lie me, nigga
1/2
2021
Happy new year https://t.co/rMkSVCFQha
1/1
2020
https://t.co/kwwi664d7H
Retweeted by Randall Otisimagine getting killed by covid after telling everyone it isn’t real that’s like santa slitting your throat
Retweeted by Randall Otis
12/30
2020
https://t.co/kQUplGjjVT https://t.co/24EMLXUdK8added the dancing robot footage over Gil Scott-Heron's "Whitey On The Moon" just to see how it'd sync up https://t.co/oYDsblrzj9
Retweeted by Randall Otis
12/29
2020
imagine being self righteous about being a tv writer. A TV WRITER!!! we go tip tap type on the keyboard, make one j… https://t.co/70pplNCHIa
Retweeted by Randall Otis @jeremythunder yo you used to look like Brendon urie @mrmikeyreid happy Monday brotherSo I found the 911 operator side of tiktok 😂 I can’t believe this is a real call OMG https://t.co/vC5MBSQTTs
Retweeted by Randall Otis
12/28
2020
Dude gave my girlfriend extra chicken in her Popeyes order. right in front of me. man said I can’t providehttps://t.co/J6pbM7IWvNThe year is almost over and this is still the funniest video of 2020 https://t.co/TjKjtH7gQv
Retweeted by Randall Otishttps://t.co/1o8oW1GHkb
Retweeted by Randall Otiswhen you need all the oils https://t.co/02dZmzNqG4 @pastaslut @imnotajojunkie how do you lack basic reading comprehension skills
12/27
2020
@doinkpatrol learning to keep the chat to the chat
12/26
2020
@varnishmytable @SuperheroFox @tropicanapussy @AligedlyAwesome @Writebro_Alpha https://t.co/rsYnh6K3XGMe seeing Christmas cheer: https://t.co/q6tkixIpDYhttps://t.co/hucAt9nUjz
Retweeted by Randall OtisI miss Christmas in Florida. Warm weather, hometown friends, seeing the mall Santa getting arrestedAnd then when all hope is lost, who comes down the mountain but the grinch himself https://t.co/bKN7SJyBDl
Retweeted by Randall OtisThe appropriate Santa for 2020 https://t.co/6tvV6Zejfo
12/25
2020
@caseyJsalengo https://t.co/NBCGTTmHN5
12/24
2020
@thejamham https://t.co/d1DNGwrp7p @JayJurden man I never know what’s going onjoe rogan interviews the grinch https://t.co/n8sYb7Wc6h
Retweeted by Randall Otis @hasanthehun hell yes brotherMy grandma is talking about how much my grandpa would compliment her cooking. That’s how I know he loved her bc her cooking is trash
12/23
2020
@iamjonesie then it must goMartin Shkreli killed this role in Atlanta https://t.co/NAKwAwkDKTStaring into my light therapy lamp https://t.co/cuVDKubnhv @AshyMalik https://t.co/2BpbDqggtJ
12/22
2020

0