Sign in with Twitter

Username:

The one and only fake women's news magazine. Get our new card game and more at Shop Reductress: https://t.co/dm9eSTXMvO

835 Following   248,411 Followers   44,085 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/14/13


4 Puffer Jackets That Puff Up Even Further When You Feel Threatened: https://t.co/aP74YIV8pv https://t.co/hCSCAYbLdd
12/2
2020
Etymologists Agree to Never Learn Origin of Word 'Thumb' Just for the Sake of Mystery: https://t.co/zHVP1lMDMF https://t.co/btmlWblglwAww! The Army Just Allocated $50 Billion to Teach Our Drones the True Meaning of Christmas: https://t.co/hH6kdkokm2 https://t.co/OVWfH6QTUbHow to Write Emails So No One Can Tell You Have Debilitating Depression: https://t.co/4sTqSOeoCE https://t.co/hNKjPB3RHWWoman Has End of 'Sixth Sense' Moment but For Realizing Past Interactions Were Sexual Misconduct:… https://t.co/FRKz0HQGLQSingle Woman Lies in Wait for COVID Divorce Wave: https://t.co/vClzEal9Yf https://t.co/JjMqRYTlsDJust a few spots left in our December satire workshops, plus new classes in January - sign up now:… https://t.co/hAFycJxSxlUnfair? This Person Went Viral for Tweeting Something I’ve Totally Thought Before: https://t.co/6uf7iIENLB https://t.co/cteXQlMcH4Wow! This Woman is Committed to Uplifting the Voices of Black Women Who Agree With Her: https://t.co/V9zf19s0gN https://t.co/II6XByHb1G4 Fortifying Facial Oils to Transform Your Dry Winter Skin into a Perfectly Seasoned Cast Iron Pan:… https://t.co/OE3C29ulk1How to Politely Decline When Your Friend Says, 'Let's Skedaddle': https://t.co/2dGs8ZYPbQ https://t.co/IergqJ0EPf
12/1
2020
QUIZ: Is It A Good Movie, Or Did You See It When You Were 8?: https://t.co/Qusrqtp8iX https://t.co/ZqBCr6hHgsAww! The Army Just Allocated $50 Billion to Teach Our Drones the True Meaning of Christmas: https://t.co/roD84nMrAN https://t.co/xFYARVYJQrWeird New Episode of 'The Crown' Follows Anthropomorphic Cockney Rat for 45 Minutes: https://t.co/f9hXvNw6wH https://t.co/uciDn53OUjI’m Not Like Other Girls…I Still Use Children’s Detangler: https://t.co/a2qrApwkly https://t.co/lQKARuMFLiWoman Has End of 'Sixth Sense' Moment but For Realizing Past Interactions Were Sexual Misconduct:… https://t.co/FBeel0jzz3Family Excited to Mess Up Your Pronouns Virtually This Year: https://t.co/OaZCvr5nrc https://t.co/CDffTU5naXBoyfriend ‘Extremely Sure’ Expired Milk Still Good: https://t.co/oU5Jn7VXK3 https://t.co/51FZPIAx4wHow to Get Nicole Kidman’s Chic Undone ‘Undoing’ ‘Do: https://t.co/GDrBGatoPG https://t.co/MYCJ14iYeyToo Far? Scientists Have Used Gene Editing to Create a Lamb With Super Low Self-Esteem: https://t.co/ooNVssc7sG https://t.co/o5dGReuax34 Fortifying Facial Oils to Transform Your Dry Winter Skin into a Perfectly Seasoned Cast Iron Pan:… https://t.co/JSTy8BsVsHTips to Make Your Mom Think You’re Miserable Spending Thanksgiving Alone: https://t.co/gTM6lcDrJm https://t.co/NmgNE6piIRQUIZ: Is He Hot or is He Just Leaning Against a Wall?: https://t.co/8x1A1ILhPo https://t.co/9re66PCh2JWant more Reductress in your inbox? Get the week's top headlines and some tidbits from the editors - check out this… https://t.co/WsWjmFMhu3Unfair? This Person Went Viral for Tweeting Something I’ve Totally Thought Before: https://t.co/cFxzaNUbUG https://t.co/G8H4oe7BDnYou can still take 20% off in our store today with code BLKFRI at checkout: https://t.co/5BY0D6AbBe https://t.co/u31ZMlvG9sWoman Likes This Season of 'The Crown' Best Because She is Also Better Than Her Husband: https://t.co/jFRRk4ab0z https://t.co/lJQCDwyzAFWoman Thrilled to Leave Job She Hates For Job She Will Later Hate More: https://t.co/Y5eB7MLvf8 https://t.co/PEMgI3y7T3Wow! This Woman Jerked Off Without a Vibrator Like it’s the 1920s: https://t.co/BtJyP1C9fJ https://t.co/9K5RzWEyzUHow to Not Hate the Child Actor That Looks Nothing Like the Grownup Actor They’re Supposed to Resemble:… https://t.co/8wtItryQui
11/30
2020
How to Wear a Turtleneck Without Being Constantly Aroused by the Light Choking: https://t.co/eTOf3FcS8b https://t.co/YGWXyFvKplREPORT: Yukon Cornelius Could Still Get It: https://t.co/nWA4EcPuVd https://t.co/m3m2HgA7kM4 ModCloth Dresses That Say, ‘Missionary Is Pretty Much It for Me’: https://t.co/XHaa2wMJWX https://t.co/NTYkbbxmJ2QUIZ: Is It A Good Movie, Or Did You See It When You Were 8?: https://t.co/Qusrqtp8iX https://t.co/oxBeHhgMkWMy Kink is Men Leaving Me Alone: https://t.co/ZPYMD3YLFj https://t.co/SLAM6K5RfQToday is the last day to take 20% off our online satire workshop with code BLKFRI - as a gift, or for yourself:… https://t.co/eBSOjmmJ7nAre You Fucking Kidding Me? Woman Ordering Another T-Shirt: https://t.co/qUvOyATaTy https://t.co/4UoXla14Mr‘I Would Never Date a Black Woman’, Says Man Who No Black Woman Would Ever Date: https://t.co/r6pQlG90T8 https://t.co/F3TMswucCZWoman Likes This Season of 'The Crown' Best Because She is Also Better Than Her Husband: https://t.co/lXU6aCb1WC https://t.co/oCgsLOUoBD‘Sorry, I’m So Bad at Texting,’ Says Friend Who Is Actually Bad at Friendship: https://t.co/hBRNQlxmJ3 https://t.co/0WCXlQB7eeWeird New Episode of 'The Crown' Follows Anthropomorphic Cockney Rat for 45 Minutes: https://t.co/f9hXvNw6wH https://t.co/uFRkZ1KbkSWoman Has End of 'Sixth Sense' Moment but For Realizing Past Interactions Were Sexual Misconduct:… https://t.co/ug3by0dPxe
11/29
2020
Tampax Introduces New Tampon That Screams When it’s Ready to Come Out: https://t.co/EEyavNWqxe https://t.co/L1z0W6uGHWFamily Excited to Mess Up Your Pronouns Virtually This Year: https://t.co/OaZCvrmYPM https://t.co/zUtUPoKEKxHow to Not Take It Personally When Other Women are in Their Early 20s: https://t.co/NfkdqUpXZ5 https://t.co/QZ1q7xvGPgQUIZ: Is He Hot or is He Just Leaning Against a Wall?: https://t.co/8x1A1ILhPo https://t.co/IWmsKY1s6SI Don’t Want Children Because I Am Perfectly Fulfilled Raising My Boyfriend: https://t.co/SpgK9x8E0x https://t.co/Z5peJYNRftToo Far? Scientists Have Used Gene Editing to Create a Lamb With Super Low Self-Esteem: https://t.co/ooNVssc7sG https://t.co/XvRrwyafieStraight Woman Wondering Who’s the Asshole in Lesbian Relationship: https://t.co/ZFDh7xMnaB https://t.co/WPiNbx4MaLFriend Who Texted ‘I’m Just Seeing This Now!’ Awarded Pulitzer Prize In Fiction: https://t.co/lT3oG05u61 https://t.co/8lcM88cUxzWow! These Black Friday Deals Will Make You Forget You Were Just Googling 'Coup': https://t.co/JuXj5cUZPT https://t.co/htxOcDzcEiQUIZ: Is It A Good Movie, Or Did You See It When You Were 8?: https://t.co/Qusrqtp8iX https://t.co/jE0GuGF77c
11/28
2020
Are You Fucking Kidding Me? Woman Ordering Another T-Shirt: https://t.co/qUvOyATaTy https://t.co/TMBaS1PsuwWoman Likes This Season of 'The Crown' Best Because She is Also Better Than Her Husband: https://t.co/lXU6aCb1WC https://t.co/Bowl6x7Z6BWeird New Episode of 'The Crown' Follows Anthropomorphic Cockney Rat for 45 Minutes: https://t.co/f9hXvNw6wH https://t.co/nyexBdHOc8Wow! These Pre-Black Friday Deals Will Make You Forget You Were Just Googling 'Coup': https://t.co/JuXj5cUZPT https://t.co/ZtzaUzQEdwToday, like every day, is for shopping - take 20% off our entire store with code BLKFRI at checkout:… https://t.co/nWDp56H9UjWoman Has End of 'Sixth Sense' Moment but For Realizing Past Interactions Were Sexual Misconduct:… https://t.co/T0CFXj2dRfToo Far? Scientists Have Used Gene Editing to Create a Lamb With Super Low Self-Esteem: https://t.co/ooNVssc7sG https://t.co/ban0VQly2YOnly People Who Haven’t Been Touched in Months Can See These Stone Mailboxes as ‘Brawny’: https://t.co/Eeckdc9ekH https://t.co/hbW8BqBR0kQUIZ: Is He Hot or is He Just Leaning Against a Wall?: https://t.co/8x1A1ILhPo https://t.co/3b8X1mqoOMThis weekend only, take 20% off our take-at-your-own-pace online satire workshop with code BLKFRI - as a gift, or f… https://t.co/qaLW7Z4jLwFamily Excited to Mess Up Your Pronouns Virtually This Year: https://t.co/OaZCvrmYPM https://t.co/aax287mMiZToday, like every day, is for shopping - take 20% off our entire store with code BLKFRI at checkout:… https://t.co/bz5eubyTHR
11/27
2020
Wow! These Pre-Black Friday Deals Will Make You Forget You Were Just Googling 'Coup': https://t.co/GZegkBKlQp https://t.co/xiMYzyj0idREPORT: Yukon Cornelius Could Still Get It: https://t.co/nWA4EcPuVd https://t.co/Ua3V7gyemL“This guy has nothing to prove and therefore can get it.” https://t.co/WfcgmCGRU0This Woman Went Home to Her Parents for Thanksgiving Because She Was Already Living There: https://t.co/ukTMcLuqiS https://t.co/ZZkqGVZZwIGrandma Pulls a Fucking 180 on How Much She Wants You to Eat at Thanksgiving: https://t.co/pPKgnjc0IN https://t.co/7RS41QFG4dHow to Not Hate the Child Actor That Looks Nothing Like the Grownup Actor They’re Supposed to Resemble:… https://t.co/xna1abW5UUWow! This Turkey Got a Peloton and Now Has AMAZING Thighs: https://t.co/KNafV634pJ https://t.co/dczgWVZbMIMan Will Still Sit in a Recliner Not Helping Anyone This Thanksgiving - But From Home This Time:… https://t.co/xHkf69SGQtTime for gifts? Take 20% off everything in our store this weekend with code BLKFRI: https://t.co/cPTkyFgLcl https://t.co/oErLRFacOF
Retweeted by Reductress6 Thanksgiving Sides That Won’t Stop Grandma From Sharing Her Racist Opinions: https://t.co/yjrbk3sE4c https://t.co/0GzMQbE6UUThe 10 Most Fuckable Balloons in This Year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: https://t.co/OVuqhuM6Nl https://t.co/768UUmbdYMTime for gifts? Take 20% off everything in our store this weekend with code BLKFRI: https://t.co/cPTkyFgLcl https://t.co/oErLRFacOF5 Controversial Things to Discuss at Thanksgiving Because Your Family is Black and None of You Voted for Trump:… https://t.co/sucOvnBxHsQUIZ: Is He Hot or is He Just Leaning Against a Wall?: https://t.co/Ip6EsB6oW5 https://t.co/13l7JJQiNX
11/26
2020
Too Far? Scientists Have Used Gene Editing to Create a Lamb With Super Low Self-Esteem: https://t.co/IjFr7kmqQw https://t.co/7EdVwwOh92How to Get Jon Ossoff to Notice Your $10 Campaign Contribution: https://t.co/vJwXnxwa3K https://t.co/UgHyourKyfWow! These Pre-Black Friday Deals Will Make You Forget You Were Just Googling 'Coup': https://t.co/GZegkBKlQp https://t.co/NYXUV8IxepWoman Thrilled to Leave Job She Hates For Job She Will Later Hate More: https://t.co/Y5eB7MLvf8 https://t.co/3urFpew4LiThis Woman Went Home to Her Parents for Thanksgiving Because She Was Already Living There: https://t.co/ukTMcLuqiS https://t.co/bQ4H6mJBWtHow to Not Hate the Child Actor That Looks Nothing Like the Grownup Actor They’re Supposed to Resemble:… https://t.co/Nw0eoC61msMan Will Still Sit in a Recliner Not Helping Anyone This Thanksgiving - But From Home This Time:… https://t.co/WFuelIv9i5Benjamin Button? This Carrot is Now a Baby: https://t.co/FvoX6uERCN https://t.co/NuEdxtFiv5What to Do When His Dick Goes Down the Wrong Pipe: https://t.co/cZwjJpx1Gt https://t.co/g9oKGBoN4iTips to Make Your Mom Think You’re Miserable Spending Thanksgiving Alone: https://t.co/gTM6lcDrJm https://t.co/u6kcllfDzO
11/25
2020
Woman Likes This Season of 'The Crown' Best Because She is Also Better Than Her Husband: https://t.co/jFRRk4ab0z https://t.co/f5YTQfcjkaEvery Word on Vegan Menu Mysteriously Placed in Quotation Marks: https://t.co/kwGaDNH7n8 https://t.co/wiro1lW6tYBenjamin Button? This Carrot is Now a Baby: https://t.co/wq6HGdpXBk https://t.co/bOniXE55z9Sad! This Redhead Isn’t Even a Chess Prodigy: https://t.co/i9BSKwJFcF https://t.co/AQJCOGaUMrHow to Not Hate the Child Actor That Looks Nothing Like the Grownup Actor They’re Supposed to Resemble:… https://t.co/5lg0TuBXFQWoman Thrilled to Leave Job She Hates For Job She Will Later Hate More: https://t.co/hceHgg7iX7 https://t.co/fjxcMll7gM3 Productive Things to Do With Your Knowledge of Every Lyric to 'The General’ by Dispatch: https://t.co/qZPfKJ3C6z https://t.co/9sOsTHTZvqHuh! Man With Sword Collection Not So Chivalrous: https://t.co/YZlBufCNod https://t.co/CSgQOt0WmoHow to Get Jon Ossoff to Notice Your $10 Campaign Contribution: https://t.co/PWXbe8IzvF https://t.co/g3fY3Dya9S
11/24
2020
Tragic! This Woman Accidentally Liked a Retweet from a Person She Hates: https://t.co/EIjNh7HVXg https://t.co/OkRg3cRK6zHuh! Man With Sword Collection Not So Chivalrous: https://t.co/Q6m46SB3HB https://t.co/9AQmJ2TvfrThese 5 Tiny Houses are Perfect for When You’re Ready for a Tiny Divorce: https://t.co/cd8InkbMQr https://t.co/ecBK4nFB14
11/23
2020

0