Sign in with Twitter

Username:

🍓🐀 Co-host @YoureWrongAbout / Writing @BelieverMag @BuzzFeed &c. / Creator of Teen Lawyer, your favorite imaginary TV show 💅⚖️ You're doing amazing, sweetie

1,774 Following   16,983 Followers   81,426 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/9/12


Dinosaurs are the original dead girls.I always forget to take photos of my guests on my podcast, but somehow I always remember to document the dogs. https://t.co/Us5eevaL3R
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallFYI I had to look at a lot of pics of Oscar Isaac while I was working on my Poe cosplay. Here’s one I saved. You’re… https://t.co/erxpSh2HjV
Retweeted by Sarah Marshalllove to spend several hours trying to fine-tune a lede only to get toward the end and think of a much better lede
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallThe world is burning, watch your favorite movies over and over again. Talk to your cat. Eat chocolate with some kin… https://t.co/3jmYejDrml
Retweeted by Sarah Marshallwhen people say stuff like “but crime went down under x inhumane policy so obviously it was successful” I am skepti… https://t.co/0xc5MY55Hu
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallWishbone only ran for two seasons, name a more influential dog!!!! https://t.co/3vKNDsMLp0
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @Remember_Sarah I have a soft spot for this stuff. We've spent many summers staying at a house owned by the husband… https://t.co/IH3gc6GvL8
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallA bot account with zero followers has tweeted nothing but excerpts from my article. I'm honored. https://t.co/RB79cjbVAK
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallI’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it. Snow skirts are GAME CHANGERS. https://t.co/Q2OLWtaFwo
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallNo one wants to get to know me bad enough to play eight entire video games https://t.co/F7YDVcHHwC
Retweeted by Sarah Marshallone coffee made me feel okay, so two will make me feel spectacular!
Retweeted by Sarah Marshallwow, a meeting. https://t.co/Ah6D8dI34p
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallI read Roman Dial’s “The Adventurer’s Son” for @nytimes and found it gorgeous and disturbing, at once a love letter… https://t.co/es8bMReuTy
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallWhat’s your favorite hot sauce?Hi y’all, I wrote about why so many commercial parkas aren’t very warm — and how you can find a good one. Plus some… https://t.co/ecabGZM5Z8
Retweeted by Sarah Marshallyes kids, your great-aunt Sarah was nitpicking Jurassic Park in those historic days https://t.co/BfgWvC7tYv @Remember_Sarah There's much religious conflict under this story, that I feel like has to undergird most of it.
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallSee also Jaws, a book where you find yourself hoping the shark will snack down MORE of these horrible people https://t.co/2zrhhgJzDcaw! https://t.co/Vb14yPPlK0Michael Crichton has a darker and perhaps more accurate understanding of human nature than Steven Spielberg does https://t.co/P07arTZOoT @JonIsAwesomest @Remember_Sarah In the book, the paleontologists had been consulting via phone for a while before c… https://t.co/Xvixp2Y8OA
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @Remember_Sarah After all, it's just a misdemeanor, right?!
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @yourewrongabout https://t.co/Uqbb2NBI22
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallOooooh https://t.co/TYuZz7pP1FHonestly, 14 years probably is too long a sentence for Blagojevich. But it would be nice to see mercy extended to… https://t.co/6nBz7xbUQF
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall
2/19
2020
I, too, saw the rock that keeps homeless people from sleeping outside with the rainbow painted on it. https://t.co/0tDzJCzGz0
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @Renee_Honn @pattonoswalt Holy heck 😭 @StorySlug @Remember_Sarah @Calgarygirl4 I mean, the large herbivore digestive system is an entirely different kind… https://t.co/URDMrMEGWi
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @Remember_Sarah I am tryyyyying to read it. Trying.
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @Calgarygirl4 @Remember_Sarah Lab Tech: Hey guys so these raptor things you want us to clone are horrorshows made o… https://t.co/MaUiwnYj1W
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @m_f_m You will be asked out by Captain IrelandYesterday I found (and bought) the biggest raindrop peperomia I’ve ever seen! Here’s a selfie I took with it where… https://t.co/KKpzsxsSLQChatting with @Remember_Sarah and I decided my type is actually “a deeply good person,” and will be updating my dat… https://t.co/E9pKk8CChN
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @Remember_Sarah Doesn't that already happen in Weeds?
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @slothanova @Remember_Sarah And that one season of Weeds
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @Remember_Sarah So, isn't this a plot line in the show Weeds? I have questions.
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallI was putting some stuff away in my bedroom and Midge came in and got in her night bed and I was like “fuck it, nig… https://t.co/gq8Eg96zxG
Retweeted by Sarah Marshallcardi b read my book 🥰 https://t.co/jtQv4epmNq
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallIt’s a thinly imagined thriller about a woman whose emotional intimacies accidentally get her family killed. It’s a… https://t.co/JRV3s4H9kUanyway, hello plant twitter, what should i grow in my zone 4 backyard this year
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallIt was never going to be a very good book. The plot is awkward and contrived. The characters are paper-thin. The PO… https://t.co/6yGrizZsUQI know clueless white women, I am a clueless white woman, and the heroine of American Dirt behaves like a clueless… https://t.co/CWi4SraX38Like seriously, is there a more canonical white lady activity than becoming bestirs with a legendary crime boss whi… https://t.co/DtPkycTWk6Good thread on whether Jurassic Park is insurable. https://t.co/JJNZZfdbck
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @Remember_Sarah Seems like. The movie leaves it out, but in the book that Triceratops Guy couldn't figure out why… https://t.co/QehDM4R5Hr
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallAlso, sweetie, if a famously brutal cartel boss confesses his love for you, don’t say “I know.” https://t.co/yJkvrX9OG2And a big part of the reason this isn’t the book we have, I’m sure, is that such a book couldn’t be mooshed into th… https://t.co/L9gjDTINEMI’m reading American Dirt and wondering why it seemed necessary to make the main characters Mexican at all. There’s… https://t.co/RGsvg7sORHYes it makes total sense. But the triceratops guy!!! Is he just like a veterinarian from a safari park in Florida w… https://t.co/MHpezK7PXbNext Monday! https://t.co/eprHXPjvYj
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @katiek_wanders @yourewrongabout Yes and we need to push back when people act like this kind of control is ever acc… https://t.co/FNQmqnRDkG
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallThis has been driving me crazy. If Grant and Sattler are the top minds in their field, why are they only hearing ab… https://t.co/294HIm2Lcm @Remember_Sarah the part that always bothered me, even as a child, was the t-rex thumps that caused the water to ri… https://t.co/vXFAtmglBg
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @SababaUSA @Remember_Sarah Question: is Jurassic Park *insured*?
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallI know the @yourewrongabout episode about the financial crisis isnt strictly about this but I can't help but wonder… https://t.co/BGacWciWAq
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallOne time, Lee Pace made eye contact with me in a Le Pain Quotidien because we were the two tallest people in the ro… https://t.co/GaOtKIzWdc
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallThinking about how OJ wouldn't let Nicole wear sweats and I'm just so sad that she never had a relationship where s… https://t.co/TX8tNYx5S7
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @Remember_Sarah I mean, making legal decisions is a surprisingly small part of the job and for those you just say y… https://t.co/Z7La8bwOxF
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @saracrump @danielleiat ITS SO BEAUTIFULMy Spencer Reid tribute mug is finished. And it’s just in time for the Criminal Minds finale this week! 😭💜… https://t.co/5ElFpyqjNY
Retweeted by Sarah Marshallpeople who are like "Trump is scared of Bloomberg": so what. he's scared of a lot of things that can't hurt him. he… https://t.co/ZHZVn4UuJ3
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallHi everyone, this is my first rodeo and I’m just so excited to be here!What if no one else votes on this and I end up getting elected? https://t.co/pbRFlC59Pl @Remember_Sarah Growing up on Long Island we went to an amusement park called Action Park pretty regularly. We love… https://t.co/ufxjIYIMsv
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @Remember_Sarah we are finally getting a law here that allows for a charge of workplace manslaughter! https://t.co/nD8FbZdCgh
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallThe most unrealistic element of Jurassic Park is the part where an American theme parks investors become concerned… https://t.co/Yt9V9mVdwk @Remember_Sarah Imagine your gig was “bassist for Elvis impersonator at Stephen Miller’s wedding.
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall
2/18
2020
@sarahw Gone girl and doogie styleI was going to say imagine having sex with Stephen Miller but like... imagine spending even one minute with Stephen… https://t.co/63fbblGcXN“Because I don’t expect to feel like a whole, integrated person! That’s bougie!” - @Remember_Sarah on being a Mille… https://t.co/ugk3vVEYGa
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallThe first entry in Mike's epic series of trafficking-myth-debunking articles is out! https://t.co/8B5xpgE5bY
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall"sin that pays its way can travel freely and without a passport; whereas Virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers" -Herman Melville
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallJeni’s defeated Froyo Life, Gelato Bar, and now Ample Hills. Nothing stays open. Nothing stands a chance. It’s a bl… https://t.co/nFq4djYcuv
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallDating in your 30s should be more fun which is why when I have a one night stand, I write “Croatan” on their bathro… https://t.co/DSwxqJBS9I
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallI’ve been trying to talk about the difference between writing fiction and nonfiction for months now, and then… https://t.co/4tT1kQsYlT
Retweeted by Sarah Marshallharder to enjoy unreliable narrators in the age of disinformation
Retweeted by Sarah Marshallone of my first thoughts upon waking this morning was “i feel like shit and i want to die” except it was in the cad… https://t.co/XuqZbdUGEs
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @Remember_Sarah I reject the notion that any of them can “know what they’re getting into.” Like, you can understand… https://t.co/H1kc9lkQQg
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @JimmyP215 @Remember_Sarah I remember even as a kid listening to the coverage of her by the tabloids after her deat… https://t.co/GwUxe1S34O
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @LouisatheLast @Remember_Sarah One of the truest examples of “they won’t love you till you’re gone”
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @Remember_Sarah I was 9 when she died and I still remember where I was when I heard. Broke my little baby gay heart. https://t.co/acYPYQhr95
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall"Tonight is a big simpleness! Of which there will be much and much and then, finally, enough." @daniel_m_lavery, en… https://t.co/KC02whFc7x
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @manwhohatesfun that all sounds very moll flanders like, why notMy mom on the phone yesterday describing her fears of my passport being stolen by thieves on mopeds while in Spain… https://t.co/dtt7wQcS61
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallI know y'all are tired of me, but this has come up a bunch from people: "Yes, we shouldn’t incarcerate as many peop… https://t.co/VFDKXLeRLR
Retweeted by Sarah Marshallomg everyone go to this because I can't!!! https://t.co/fgxrD94NNXMy whole ass house is a squeaky spot https://t.co/kdgC654MhN
Retweeted by Sarah Marshalltrying to write a sentence without an em dash https://t.co/hWhsOsJlN3
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @amandamull Tho it would be very rugged if you to get one of those poles with a suction cup on them"Grief" has been an accepted cause of death(!) for centuries and yet we have no accepted, publicly recognized form… https://t.co/Wn1S7koj1T
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallDuring my research I interviewed a guy who said he was a libertarian until he did MDMA and realized that other peop… https://t.co/vltBKe48mr
Retweeted by Sarah Marshall @saracrump Does it come in a mug??A row of Reids. Honestly, my target demographic is basically just @Remember_Sarah at this point. https://t.co/ISZtZg1AG1
Retweeted by Sarah Marshallincredibly rude that there are people younger than meMy mother is so proud of the giant construction paper heart my dad made her for Valentine’s Day and it’s still all… https://t.co/g3U99t28cK
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallLet’s start a thread! I want to see sex workers (any kind and any gender) over 30. I feel like I’m way hotter than… https://t.co/zFUsOLeDkP
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallExtremely good day for those of us who really do have alt accounts we use to comment about how smart and handsome we are.
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallI love relationship posts that are like "It's been four years with this guy! i love you so much babe. yeah it's har… https://t.co/ZWTnJejLp6
Retweeted by Sarah MarshallI’ll be your Garcia 💜 https://t.co/EolnrEYOVJ
2/17
2020

0