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a friend of serpents

726 Following   254 Followers   6,621 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/3/13


@KieseLaymon So so good.
10/22
2020
@evan_a_parker @Book_Fight I've made my stand. @Book_Fight The Moviegoer. @steventhowell @rsanderlin https://t.co/ljOutoFbP2
10/21
2020
I’m screaming into the void waiting for it to scream back https://t.co/I16nKB5ig3
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10/20
2020
@SheaSerrano @netw3rk @steveahlman Imposter - The Faculty and They Look Like People Psychotic Suburbanites - The W… https://t.co/ZXvUHyeb06 @ByedonD @georgebrownmem @TerenceMeehan3 🦗🦗🦗 @CoreyBeaumont I am ready to throw all my current shit out into the yard. @__KristiNicole_ my godAuditing twitter: is the only solution for a chaotic Tupperware storage cabinet to buy all matching Tupperware? @BrandyLJensen egirl and her podcaster husband: https://t.co/nDb59gsE5A
Retweeted by Riley @MatthewSitman Cliff wouldn’t Norm wouldn’t Carla Tortelli would NEVER
Retweeted by RileySame. https://t.co/299BHm7fls
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10/18
2020
@crissles Facebook is absolutely a cancer. So many problems would be solved if it simply, instantly, ceased to exist.A student raised their hand during class today as I was teaching and asked me to come to their desk. They pointed a… https://t.co/8qAhosjiVq
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10/15
2020
double extra credit to the student who, after I spent 15 minutes thinking I was sharing my screen as I highlighted… https://t.co/AlOyP3Ebro
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10/14
2020
Punctuation, in fact, is a labor of love. — Pico Iyer https://t.co/rrYwWgc9P1
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10/13
2020
@BlakeMcCollum Surely your time is coming. @BlakeMcCollum https://t.co/yGi9kFbQ1c
10/8
2020
@ashtonpittman https://t.co/eEmEqgiCen*at a hospital in the year 2061* *i'm laying in my death bed* *i motion for my wife to come closer so i can say my… https://t.co/aDe4ibfgUO
Retweeted by RileyGot tested at a Jackson urgent care clinic yesterday. While waiting, I overheard two people’s results come back pos… https://t.co/eHpJUguQz5
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10/7
2020
All of this could have been avoided if a small percentage of people making fun of Infinite Jest read up to two books a year.
Retweeted by RileyI hate italics almost as much as Cindy Hyde-Smith hates Mississippi. Writing this piece is a risk but I did not com… https://t.co/DEqUQ1tklj
Retweeted by RileyCould y'all Infinitely Just Leave That Man Alone?Easily one of the raddest things I’ve ever been a part of. Thank you @CowboyJamboree for this opportunity! 🙏 https://t.co/MhWVnfDlby
Retweeted by Riley @GanucheauAdam Nice job, dude.Great morning to mind my business and keep my opinions to myself. [vanishes]
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10/6
2020
Please RT this thread for the Mississippians in your life. https://t.co/zTUFPJ73Ma
Retweeted by RileyWhy is "you're a peach" a compliment but "you're bananas" is an insult? Why do we allow such fruit discrimination?
Retweeted by RileyThe White House Gift Shop is selling a “Donald J. Trump defeats Covid” commemorative coin. You can pre-order it now… https://t.co/oVk0WObTvC
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10/5
2020
@SheaSerrano @TheAtlantic Really good rivals — movies where the antagonist is very legit. "Never Back Down" vs. "Brink."Pool season just.... slipped away. https://t.co/Bs96WU4OpB @CavinBGonzalez Can guarantee this is what happened.How can you not like fungi?! https://t.co/IX28nURS29
Retweeted by RileyI would like to start every day by reading the second half of a book I really like and then immediately reading the… https://t.co/8Nl5J6f2Mj @Bud_Smith https://t.co/d7WzfAvPnFApparently dolphins and sloths are down with each other and this is good. https://t.co/5mqek6HulR
Retweeted by Rileyabsolutely losing it over this picture https://t.co/o4T1rtsM1h
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10/4
2020
@SheaSerrano Conway is absolutely Raiden https://t.co/ymOAv761OsMan On Fire is very good
Retweeted by Riley @natural_father Always and forever.
10/3
2020
Feels like a good day to leave the phone in the next room.
10/2
2020
@ashtonpittman lol she acts like she was on her way over here or some thing.Car dealerships always bug you with letters like, “Emily, we need your Prius. We’ll give you CASH if you trade in.”… https://t.co/qZlleU6uHA
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10/1
2020
That boy was scooting for his life 🤣 https://t.co/VwJp1tB1WH
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9/29
2020
STAY WITH ME TRASH CAN https://t.co/WrjdatwcIC
Retweeted by RileyI know the block is hot, news-wise, but also this. https://t.co/5MVjUHeL22Ocean Spray should just pay that skateboarding homie a ton of money and run his tiktok as a commercial unedited for… https://t.co/tnFr3C71To
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9/28
2020
Naked Eyes — Always Something There to Remind Me https://t.co/5VmlkjEBk9Can vouch, this was great! https://t.co/0IgjGTliCV @JamisonLogan If someone saw our results out of context, they would think we have a personal grudge against omelets.every time i finish reading a book i stand up and spike it
Retweeted by RileyMy talent? Finding a new way to mess up an omelette every weekendhttps://t.co/bwc0npGEGt
Retweeted by Rileyrobo-dog is stupid just put a sticky-note on the camera smh
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9/27
2020
@LeveyBaker @indigenouschef my god.😬😬😬 it’s a no for me. https://t.co/6J9SiCYgyQclick for a surprise! https://t.co/DSj2HEMpB7
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9/26
2020
when an editor solicits your work and then rejects what you send them https://t.co/hsv7qV5iIO
Retweeted by RileyWow, an erasure poem for our time. https://t.co/V8ICv9tfUu
9/25
2020
photos by me. https://t.co/puJCC1GN1L
Retweeted by RileyToni Morrison was the best teacher because she didn’t ‘teach.’ She told us stories. Each class she was twenty minut… https://t.co/iylJ1psR6i
Retweeted by Riley @Book_Fight The Eula Biss one about power lines, “Time and Distance Overcome” and also her book “On Immunity,” whic… https://t.co/vbirwf3RxFI’m in awe of how fake this is https://t.co/azGQIb1jH3
Retweeted by Riley @steventhowell @kistulentz Somebody said "Meal Team 6." @ashtonpittman @InvisibelleMS @shadwhite This sounds like a boxing match from the 50s.Can we also ban adverbs from headlines? @WarOnDumb Quite a bit of paraphrasing in this piece. @JoshRaby @Humanstein We can all agree it is *not* Michelangelo.
9/24
2020
So if they had *only* shot Breonna Taylor, and *not shot* elsewhere, no one would have been charged at all?So the grand jury felt that the police should be held responsible for the people that they could have harmed but no… https://t.co/DnB9cCActz
Retweeted by RileyThis scene is relevant every day of my life in one way or another. https://t.co/yaI3fo4LTDwhat makes hearing the results of breonna taylor's case somehow even worse was everyone knowing that it was always… https://t.co/oEOKbNTupG
Retweeted by RileyA literal wall got more justice than Breonna Taylor https://t.co/nzBohm4WU5
Retweeted by RileyWhy my neighbors already have a giant skeleton in their front yard in september https://t.co/3SdVnb4G9C
Retweeted by Rileyin the unreleased third movie, mike wazowski opens up a tattoo parlor called monster’s ink
Retweeted by RileyPlease, your most awful, rot-gut mezcal, please.
9/23
2020
There is suddenly a lot of thumping from upstairs where the 4th grader is doing remote learning and a lot of childr… https://t.co/tMqNhmF9gU
Retweeted by RileyNot giving a fuck and giving a fuck requires the same amount of effort. Truth be told.
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9/22
2020
Foxes are so precious and wholesome https://t.co/VP8DjCaXzj
Retweeted by RileyHahahaha https://t.co/iAR1LXH3C3
Retweeted by Riley @DanielTorday How long is the "tall with gray eyes" period? @blgtylr "Character vapor" wow accurate."Terminated" is such an extreme word, being "Terminated" sounds way worse than being "fired." https://t.co/dYnpdjZKtEAt least once a week I think of this lawyer I met who told me that if she was ever going to write a book, she would… https://t.co/2UvDTkzayQ
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9/21
2020
People always, always write off Mississippi. It's cross partisan and it's across all sorts of topics—from weather t… https://t.co/Vtvcg9KMBJ
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9/19
2020
”we buy so much because it always seems like something is still missing. ” — David Cain, Your Lifestyle Has Already Been Designed.
Retweeted by RileyRT if you think members of Congress should have to pass a basic US government test. https://t.co/DbaYKWLrLI
Retweeted by Riley @brockwilbur From off screen : "Get the hell off my truck, you little squirt!"before and after a Victorian era child eats a cool ranch Dorito https://t.co/w4MLWdgW0C
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9/18
2020
The USPS had a plan to send 5 reusable facemarks to every household in early April. Even had a press release ready.… https://t.co/MqRdgZN2J7
Retweeted by Riley @LouisPeitzman Freak Show had so many good elements, but made use of pretty much none of them. @LouisPeitzman I thought Murder House nailed it, with Asylum close behind.
9/17
2020
@WatlingtonMark https://t.co/1tzeZNzV6r @chriswilson02 @lramseth Totally agree. Fraud is such a huge factor in MS, he could be such a unifying force. I don… https://t.co/Xpf1AUKwcN @ashtonpittman @CC_Yale https://t.co/CuDxVVHpV7
9/16
2020
@zei_squirrel I watch this whole thread every time you post it.The best thing about this video is that it scares the chicken, the bad thing is that the video ends🤣😍 https://t.co/kmxv7EJCGi
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9/15
2020

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